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  • How can you tell whether a relationship is going to last the course - or whether it's

    你如何判斷一段關係是否會持續下去--或者它是否是

  • doomed to founder? What's the difference between fragile and solid couples? Here are

    註定的創始人?脆弱的夫婦和穩固的夫婦之間有什麼區別?這裡有

  • some of the things to look out for:

    一些需要注意的事情。

  • Over-optimism about Relationships Fragile couples tend, paradoxically, to be

    對關係的過度樂觀 脆弱的夫婦往往,矛盾的是,他們是

  • very hopeful about love. They associate happiness with conflict-free unions. They do not expect,

    對愛情非常有希望。他們將幸福與無衝突的結合聯繫在一起。他們不期望。

  • once they have found the person they unwisely see as The One, ever to need to squabble,

    一旦他們找到了他們不明智地認為是唯一的人,就永遠不需要爭吵了。

  • storm out of a room or feel unhappy for the afternoon. When trouble emerges, as it inevitably

    從房間裡衝出來,或者在下午感到不高興。當麻煩出現時,因為它不可避免地會出現

  • does, they do not greet it as a sign that love is progressing as it should; rather as

    他們並不把它看作是愛情正在取得應有進展的標誌,而是看作是

  • alarming evidence that their relationship may be illegitimate and fundamentally flawed.

    令人震驚的證據表明,他們的關係可能是不合法的,而且有根本性的缺陷。

  • Their hopes tire them for the patient tasks of diplomatic negotiation and routine maintenance.

    他們的希望使他們疲於應付外交談判和日常維護的耐心任務。

  • Out of touch with Pain Fragile couples tend not to be good detectives

    與疼痛失之交臂 脆弱的夫婦往往不是好偵探

  • of their own sufferings. They may be both unhappy and yet unsure as to the actual causes

    他們自己的痛苦。他們可能既不快樂,但又不確定實際的原因

  • of their dissatisfactions; they know that something is wrong in their unions, but they

    他們的不滿;他們知道他們的工會出了問題,但他們

  • can't easily trace the catalysts. They can't zero in on the way that it was the lack of

    不能輕易追蹤催化劑。他們無法歸納出這是缺乏的方式。

  • trust in them around money that rankles or that it has been their behaviour towards a

    在金錢方面對他們的信任使他們感到不安,或者是他們對一個人的行為感到不安。

  • demanding youngest child that has been hurting. They lash out in vague or inaccurate directions,

    苛刻的小兒,一直在傷害。他們在模糊或不準確的方向上出言不遜。

  • their attacks either unfairly general or unconvincingly specific.

    他們的攻擊要麼不公平地籠統,要麼不令人信服地具體。

  • Shame A shamed person has fundamental doubts about

    羞愧 一個羞愧的人對以下方面有根本的懷疑

  • their right to exist: somewhere in the past, they have been imbued with an impression that

    他們的生存權:在過去的某個地方,他們被灌輸了一種印象,即

  • they do not matter very much, that their feelings should be ignored, that their happiness is

    他們並不十分重要,他們的感受應該被忽視,他們的幸福是不重要的。

  • not a priority, that their words do not count. Once they are in a couple, shamed people hurt

    不是一個優先事項,他們的話不算數。一旦他們成了夫妻,羞於啟齒的人就會受到傷害

  • like anyone else, but their capacity to turn their hurt into something another person can

    像其他人一樣,但他們有能力將自己的傷害轉化為另一個人可以接受的東西。

  • understand, and be touched by, is recklessly weak. Shamed people will sulk rather than

    理解並被觸動,是不計後果的軟弱。羞愧的人將生悶氣而不是

  • speak, hide rather than divulge, feel secretly wretched rather than candidly complain. It

    說話,隱藏而不是洩露,暗暗地感到悲哀而不是坦率地抱怨。它

  • is frequently very late, far too late, by the time shamed people finally let their lover

    當被羞辱的人最終讓他們的夫妻離開時,往往已經非常晚了,太晚了。

  • know more about the nature of their desperation.

    瞭解更多關於他們絕望的性質。

  • Excessive Anxiety Complaining well requires an impression that

    過度焦慮 抱怨好需要一個印象,即

  • not everything depends on the complaint being heard perfectly. Were the lesson to go wrong,

    並非一切都取決於投訴被完美地聽到。如果教訓出了問題。

  • were the other to prove intransigent, one could survive and take one's love elsewhere.

    如果對方證明是不妥協的,一個人可以生存下去,並把自己的愛帶到其他地方。

  • Not everything is at stake in an argument. The other hasn't ruined one's life. One

    在爭論中,並不是所有的事情都是危在旦夕。另一個人並沒有毀掉自己的生活。一個人

  • therefore doesn't need to scream, hector, insist or nag. One can deliver a complaint

    是以,不需要大喊大叫,挑釁,堅持或嘮叨。一個人可以提供一個投訴

  • with some of the nonchalance of a calm teacher who wants an audience to learn but can bear

    一個希望聽眾學習但又能忍受的冷靜的老師的一些淡定的態度。

  • it if they don't; one could always say what one has on one's minds tomorrow, or the

    如果他們不這樣做的話;人們總是可以在明天說出自己的想法,或者是在明天說出自己的想法。

  • next day.

    第二天。

  • Excessive Pride It takes an inner dignity not to mind too

    過度的自豪感 需要內在的尊嚴,不要太在意

  • much about having to level complaints around things that could sound laughably 'small'

    圍繞著一些聽起來很可笑的 "小事 "進行投訴的情況很多

  • or that leave one open to being described as petty or needy. With too much pride and

    或者讓人有機會被描述為小氣或需要。太多的驕傲和

  • fear, it can become unbearable to admit that one has been upset since lunch because they

    恐懼,承認自己從午餐開始就一直很不開心,因為他們會變得難以忍受

  • didn't take one's hand on a walk, or that one wishes so much that they would be readier

    沒有牽著一個人的手去散步,或者一個人非常希望他們能更快地完成任務。

  • to hug one last thing at night. One has to feel quite grown up inside not to be offended

    在晚上擁抱最後一件事。一個人必須覺得自己已經長大,才不會被冒犯。

  • by one's own more childlike appetites for reassurance and comfort. It is an achievement

    這是由一個人自己的更像孩子的胃口來保證和安慰的。這是一項成就

  • to know how to be strong about one's vulnerability. One may have said, rather too many times,

    要知道如何堅強地對待自己的弱點。一個人可能已經說過,相當多的時候。

  • from behind a slammed door, in a defensive tone, 'No, nothing is wrong whatsoever.

    從一扇被關上的門後面走出來,用一種防禦性的語氣說:"不,沒有任何問題。

  • Go away', when secretly longing to be comforted and understood like a weepy, upset child.

    走吧',當暗地裡渴望得到安慰和理解時,就像一個哭泣的、不安的孩子。

  • Hopelessness about Dialogue Fragile couples often come together with few

    對話的無望 脆弱的夫婦往往在一起時很少有機會。

  • positive childhood memories of conversations working out: early role models may simply

    兒時對談話健身的積極記憶:早期的榜樣可能只是

  • have screamed and then despaired of one another. They may never have witnessed disagreements

    尖叫過,然後對彼此絕望。他們可能從未目睹過分歧的情況

  • eventually morphing into mutual understanding and sympathy. They would deeply love to be

    最終蛻變為相互理解和同情。他們會深愛著

  • understood, but they can bring precious few resources to the task of making themselves

    他們能理解,但他們能帶來寶貴的資源來使自己

  • so.

    所以。

  • None of these factors mean a couple will split up, but they are generators of the states

    這些因素都不意味著一對夫婦會分手,但它們是各州的生成器。

  • of emotional disconnection that can eventually break two people apart. Outwardly, things

    的情感斷裂,最終會使兩個人分開。外表上看,事情

  • may seemingly be well. A couple may have an interesting social life, some lovely children,

    可能看起來很好。一對夫婦可能有一個有趣的社會生活,一些可愛的孩子。

  • a new apartment. But a more judicious analysis will reveal an unexpected degree of risk.

    一個新的公寓。但是,更明智的分析將揭示出一個意想不到的風險程度。

  • The good news is that knowing a little about the risk factors can help us identify them

    好消息是,對風險因素有一點了解可以幫助我們識別它們

  • in good time - and, with the help of good advice, for example, from the School of Life, fix them

    並在良好建議的幫助下,例如在生命學校的幫助下,將它們固定下來。

  • while there is still time.

    趁現在還有時間。

How can you tell whether a relationship is going to last the course - or whether it's

你如何判斷一段關係是否會持續下去--或者它是否是

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B1 中級 中文 夫婦 羞愧 脆弱 不安 安慰 明智

如何保持一段關係 (How to Keep a Relationship Going)

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    Summer 發佈於 2021 年 05 月 05 日
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