Hello and welcome to VideoJug.

歡迎來到 VideoJug

I'm Rebecca Fensome, and I'm a life coach.

我是Rebecca Fensome 我是一個人生諮商師

Being a great communicator is important in all areas of our life.

成為一個優良的溝通者 在生命各處都很重要

Whether we're talking to our partners,

無論我們是在跟伴侶說話

or friends, or work colleagues.

或是朋友 同僚

Being able to inspire other individuals through your communication

能夠透過溝通啟發他人

will allow you to have a more fruitful and enriching life.

會讓你活出一個更加豐碩的人生

Here are my top tips to being a good communicator.

這些是成為更好的溝通者 幾個終極秘訣

Tip 1.

祕訣一

Use open-ended questions.

使用開放式問題

In order to get a communication going,

為了使溝通可以持續進行

it's really useful to use open-ended questions.

使用「開放式問題」相當有效

Open-ended questions often start with words such as:

「開放式問題」的開頭字一般是：

what, when, how, and why.

what when how 以及 why

An example of an open-ended question is:

一個「開放式問題」的例子是：

"So what do you like doing in your spare time?"

「所以你在閒暇時喜歡做什麼？」

"I love cinema, theatre, and sports."

「我喜歡電影 戲劇 以及運動」 (註：在英式英語中theatre除了拼法不一樣外，所指的也不是電影院，而是舞台劇一類的戲劇。在英式英文中，電影一般以cinema稱呼)

It's best to avoid what we call closed questions.

最好避免我們一般說的「封閉式問題」

An example of a closed question is:

一個「封閉式問題」的例子是：

"Do you like films?"

「你喜歡電影嗎?」

"Yes, I do."

「我喜歡」

A closed question kills the conversation

「封閉式問題」會扼殺一個談話

because it can only be answered with a yes or no answer.

因為它只能以 "yes" 或 "no" 來回答

Careful using these open-ended questions

謹慎使用「開放式問題」

will ensure that the conversation continues to flow.

可以確保談話 持續 流暢地 進行下去

Tip two.

祕訣二

Active listening.

積極地傾聽

This is a really useful technique.

這真的是一個實用的妙招

As it tells the other person that you really listened to what they've been saying,

因為它告訴了對方 自己真的有聽進去他所說的東西

and also, more importantly,

同時 更重要的

that you've understood.

他們被理解

"The hours are quite long."

「工作時間很長」

"The work's really repetitive."

「工作重複性也很高」

"My boss doesn't appreciate me."

「而且我老闆也不認同我」

If you've been listening actively,

假如你有積極的聆聽

at this point you should now be able to summarize what the individual has just told you.

在這個點上 你應該有辦法統合對方剛跟自己說的內容

"It sounds like you aren't really satisfied in your job anymore."

「聽起來你現在對工作比較沒那麼滿意」

Tip 3.

祕訣三

The cocoon.

蛹

Sometimes when people are talking to us we find it hard to concentrate on what they're saying.

有時候在跟別人說話時 會覺得要專注聆聽他們說的東西蠻困難的

It might be that there's some background noise,

可能是因為背後的嘈雜聲

or our mind is elsewhere.

或是自己心不在焉

In order to help you with this,

為了在這點之上幫助你

visualize a cocoon around the two of you.

想像在你們兩人周遭有一個蛹

This will allow you to focus in on every word that they're saying to you.

這會幫助你專注在對方所說的每一個字之上

Tip four.

秘訣四

Engage with the other person.

充分融入對方

If someone is trying to engage you in conversation,

假如有想將你融入一個對話之中

your body language is really important.

身體語言就變得相當重要

"Tom I need your advice."

「Tom我需要你的建議」

"Uh huh."

「恩」

Don't continue with the task that you're already doing.

不要繼續做自己手頭上的事情

Don't shout the answer over your shoulder.

不要跨過肩膀喊出答案

"Tom, Tom!"

「Tom Tom」

"I need your advice."

「我需要你的建議」

"Sorry, um....."

「抱歉 額....」

Instead what we need to do, is stop what you're doing,

取而代之 我們應該做的是 停下手邊的工作

turn around and face that individual and give them the time they deserve.

轉過身 臉對著與你說的一方 然後給他他應得的時間

"Tom, I need your advice."

「Tom我需要你的建議」

"Of course, what is it?"

「當然 是什麼事？」

Good communication style is when you really engage with the other individual.

良好的溝通風格 是當你完全融入另一個人的談話之中

Tip 5.

秘訣五

Don't make assumptions.

不要預設立場

Don't jump to conclusions when you're having a conversation with someone.

與人溝通的時候 不要直接跳到結論

Don't assume you know what they're thinking or feeling about a particular topic.

不要設想自己了解對方 對一個特定主題的想法或是感受

It seems you'll be alright there.

看來你在那應該會不錯

Instead, it is much better to ask them:

相對的 我們最好問他們：

if they're okay with this, if they feel alright about that.

你對這件事情OK嗎？ 你對那件事感覺還好嗎？

You really going to take into consideration that person's thoughts and beliefs

你應該把對方的想法與信念 納入考量

rather than projecting your own thoughts or feelings on them.

而不是將自己的想法與感受 投射在他身上

Tip 6.

秘訣六

Avoid antagonistic sentences.

避免攻擊性的句子

An example of antagonistic sentence is:

「攻擊性句子」的一個例子是

"You're sitting in my chair"

「你坐在我的椅子上！」

An antagonistic sentence can be seen as a form of attack.

具攻擊性的句子 可以被視為一種攻擊

So it's much better and more constructive instead to use sentences such as:

所以情況會更好 更具建設性 假如你使用句子像：

"Excuse me, I think you've taken my seat."

「不好意思 我想你坐到我的位子了」

This is less confrontational.

這樣反抗意味就少了許多

which will mean your life is full of a lot less conflicts.

也就是你的人生會少了更多的爭執