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  • So 2021 has already been a very eventful year.

  • Joe Biden became president.

  • GameStop is now worth a zillion dollars, or zero dollars.

  • I stopped paying attention.

  • Tom Brady got the all time most Super Bowl wins.

  • Donald Trump got the all time most impeachments.


  • But one of the biggest events is still to come.

  • And of course, I'm talking about the Shamrock Shake season at McDonald's.

  • That's going to be-- oh, here it comes in March.

  • No, no.

  • I'm talking about the Olympics, of course.

  • They were postponed from last year.

  • And now, they're only a few months away.

  • This year, they're in Tokyo, which I believe is a-- it's a tiny little country next to Japan.

  • Is that correct?

  • And because of the pandemic, they are going to be different this year.

  • Just this week, they announced that the audience will have to be silent.

  • They will not be allowed to chant or cheer.

  • It's the same rules that the audience has at Judge Judy.

  • No matter how badly she burns the plaintiff, you cannot react.


  • But some people are still questioning whether the Olympics should even happen at all or whether more precautions should be in place.

  • So I came up with a few ideas of my own to help keep the Olympics safe.

  • First of all, you know those masks they wear for fencing?

  • This year, everyone should wear them.


  • Secondly, anyone competing in the javelin should carry the javelin in front of them at all times.

  • That'll keep people away from a distance.

  • And you might say, but Ellen, won't someone put an eye out?

  • No, because they're going to be wearing those fencing masks.

  • I have thought of everything.

  • Don't question me.

  • Thirdly, I know that warm water kills viruses.

  • So instead of an Olympic sized swimming pool, they should hold all the Olympic events in a giant jacuzzi with the [? jets ?] [? going, ?] which will make it more fun.

  • I've also noticed that a lot of sporting events have cardboard cutouts of fans in the audience.

  • But why is that just for the fans?

  • I mean, at the Olympics, there are some events where you could replace the athletes with the cardboard cutouts like the long jump.

  • They can take a cardboard cutout of each contestant.

  • Are they called contestants?

  • I don't know.

  • Anyway, they launch it from a catapult to see who goes the farthest.

  • There are even some events that they could have on Zoom, like synchronized swimming.

  • As long as they time it right, it should work.

  • They set up a computer and then some TV monitors in the pool.

  • And then, they get an extension cord and plug them in.

  • You know what?

  • I did not think this one through.

  • Strike that.

  • That doesn't go on the record.

So 2021 has already been a very eventful year.


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B1 中級 美國腔

How to Keep the 2020 Olympics Safe During the Pandemic

  • 1974 92
    たらこ 發佈於 2021 年 04 月 15 日