We can't reveal very much about who we really are.

我們不能透露太多關於自己的事情。

Keeping secrets is just the price we have to pay in order to be liked.

保守祕密是我們想討人喜歡的代價。

Then imagine the day you meet a very special person and fall in love.

想象一下，某一天你遇到了一個很特別的人，並愛上了他。

What makes them special is that at last you no longer have to lie around them.

他們很特別，你不需要對他們隱瞞任何事情。

You can admit two important truths.

你可以承認兩個重要的事實。

You'll be rewarded for sharing your deepest self.

你會因為分享你最深層的自我而得到回報。

The weirder the secret, the better.

祕密越詭異越好。

Nothing seems too shocking or explicit.

似乎沒有會令人震驚或不能直說的事情。

You can explain that you find a mutual acquaintance arrogant or mean, or that you think some supposed masterpiece of a book is actually very boring.

你可以直接說你們共同認識的人很傲慢或刻薄，或你認為一些所謂的名著其實很無聊。

You can explain that you like pulling hair during sex or have always been excited by ropes.

你可以坦承你喜歡在性愛的過程中拉扯對方的頭髮或綑綁會令你興奮。

Love is born out of a new possibility for honesty. But this sharing of secrets sets up, in our minds and in our collective culture, a powerful and potentially very problematic ideal.

愛源於誠實的新可能性，但祕密共享在我們的腦海和集體文化中樹立了強大的、具有潛在問題的理想狀態。

The notion that if two people properly love one another, then they must always tell each other the truth about everything.

那就是如果兩個人真心相愛，就得毫無保留地把所有的事情告訴彼此。

Yet over the long term, there are always going to be things we feel, have a power to hurt and deeply offend those we love.

但長期來看，總會有我們覺得會傷害或得罪我們所愛的人的事情。

This brings us up against a fundamental paradox within the modern understanding of love.

這就使我們面臨現代人對於愛情理解的基本悖論。

Keeping secrets seems like a betrayal of a relationship.

有秘密似乎是對感情的背叛。

At the same time, the complete truth will, if shared, place a union in mortal danger.

然而，完整的真相可能會使感情陷入致命危機。

We are perhaps so conscious of the bad reasons for hiding things that we haven't paid enough attention to the noble reasons why, from time to time, true loyalty may lead one to say very much less than the whole truth.

我們也許太執著於隱瞞事實的負面理由，而忽略了真正忠誠可能使人對真相有所保留的高尚情操。

We're so impressed by honesty, we forget the virtues of politeness, which doesn't have to mean a cynical withholding of important information, just a dedication to not robbing someone up against the full and more hurtful aspects of our natures.

我們過度推崇誠實而忘了禮貌，說話有所保留不一定是刻意地隱瞞重要資訊，只是為了避免造成不必要的傷害。

It's ultimately no great sign of kindness to insist on showing someone else our entire selves at all times.

總之，堅持時時刻刻向人展現自己的全部，並不是什麼偉大的善舉。

Repression, a certain degree of restraint and a dedication to editing one's pronouncements belong to love as much as a capacity for explicit confession.

壓抑、一定程度的克制和修飾言論和坦承的能力一樣都是愛的特質。

The person, who cannot tolerate secrets, who, in the name of being honest, always has to share everything, information so wounding it cannot be forgotten,

不能容忍祕密、以誠實的名義要求坦承所有事情而不管真相多傷人的人

that person is no friend of love.

不是真正懂愛的人。

Furthermore, if we suspect, and we should rather regularly, if the relationship is a good one. if we suspect that our partner might be lying a bit as well, maybe about what they're thinking about or how they judge our work or about where they were last night, well, then it's perhaps best not to lay into them like a sharp inquisitor.

此外，如果感情狀態還算不錯, 我們應經常懷疑伴侶可能沒有完全坦承，無論是他們的想法、對我們工作的評論或他們昨晚去了哪裡，那麼，也許不要扮演伶牙俐齒的審訊者才是最好的做法。

However intensely we yearn to do just that.

無論我們有多想那麼做。

It may be kinder, wiser and perhaps more in the true spirit of love to pretend we simply didn't notice.

假裝沒有發現可能是更善良、更明智且更符合真愛精神的做法。

Our online shop has a range of books and gifts that address the most important and often neglected areas of life.

我們的線上商店提供了一系列的書籍和禮品，它們有助於解決生活中最重要但卻經常被忽視的領域。

Click now to learn more.

點擊以瞭解更多。