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  • -Well, hey, guys, it is March, late March,

    -嘿,夥計們,現在是三月,三月底。

  • and that means that it's time for people to --

    這意味著,現在是時候讓人們 --

  • Tariq, you okay?

    塔裡克,你還好嗎?

  • Seem a little bothered.

    似乎有些煩惱。

  • -No, I'm good.

    -不,我很好

  • [ Scattered laughter ]

    [分散的笑聲]

  • -You sure? You don't seem good.

    -你確定?你確定? - 你看起來不怎麼樣

  • -No, I'm just, you know, thinking of some new entries

    -不,我只是,你知道的,在想一些新的作品。

  • for my irk list.

    為我的Irk列表。

  • -Irk list? What's an irk list?

    -騷擾名單?什麼是IRK名單?

  • -Come on, man. You know, it's a list that I keep

    -來吧,夥計你知道,這是我一直以來的清單。

  • of things that annoy me.

    的事情,讓我很煩惱。

  • Random stuff.

    隨機的東西。

  • You know what? I'll just show you.

    你知道嗎?我就給你看。

  • It's time for "Tariq's Irk List"!

    現在是 "塔裡克的伊爾克名單 "的時候了!

  • -♪ "Tariq's Irk List" ♪

    -"塔裡克的伊爾克名單"?

  • Of the things that irk Tariq

    # Of the things that irk Tariq #

  • -So, my daughter woke me up last night

    -所以,我女兒昨晚把我叫醒了。

  • because she heard a noise in her room.

    因為她聽到房間裡有聲音。

  • I go, "What do you want me to do?

    我去:"你要我怎麼做?

  • You know I haven't been eating meat, girl. I'm weak."

    你知道我一直沒有吃肉,姑娘。我很虛弱。"

  • -[ Laughs ] What?

    -什麼?

  • -So, she says she thinks she heard a ghost.

    -所以,她說她認為她聽到了鬼魂的聲音。

  • Now, no disrespect to people who believe in the supernatural --

    現在,沒有不尊重的人 誰相信在超自然 -

  • I mean, I think I do.

    我的意思是,我想我做的。

  • I definitely believe energy just transfers and never dies.

    我絕對相信能量只是轉移,永遠不會消失。

  • But I don't really buy into the concept of the traditional,

    但我不太相信傳統的概念。

  • mischievous, "boo," Scooby-Doo variety of ghosts, Jimmy.

    調皮,"噓",史酷比各種鬼,吉米。

  • So, I go, "Child --"

    所以,我說:"孩子..."

  • I'm terrible with names.

    我的名字很糟糕

  • I go -- -Your own child?

    我走了 -- 你自己的孩子?

  • -Yeah, I -- -Your own --

    -是的,我... 你自己的...

  • -It leaves me.

    -它離開了我。

  • I go, "Child, there's no way ghosts exist."

    我說:"孩子,鬼不可能存在。"

  • And she's all, "How do you know?"

    她說:"你怎麼知道?"

  • which at this point, is pretty much all she ever says to me.

    在這一點上,是幾乎所有 她曾經對我說。

  • I mean, she's 15 years old.

    我的意思是,她是15歲。

  • But it irks me that she demands

    但我很生氣,她要求

  • I produce proof to support anything I ever said --

    我拿出證據來證明我說過的任何話 --

  • footnotes, bibliography,

    腳註、書目。

  • complete this CAPTCHA screen, identify all the fire hydrants,

    完成這個驗證碼螢幕,確定所有的消防栓。

  • stop lights, and bridges. It's a bit much.

    紅綠燈,和橋樑。這是一個有點多。

  • So I say, "You know what?

    所以我說:"你知道嗎?

  • Somebody confirmed it on YouTube."

    有人在YouTube上證實了這一點。"

  • And she goes, "Why didn't you say that in the first place?"

    她說:"你為什麼不一開始就說呢?"

  • And then I tell her, "Because I'm kidding."

    然後我告訴她,"因為我是在開玩笑。"

  • It's actually because I know way too many vengeful,

    其實是因為我認識的復仇者太多。

  • spiteful, petty people who've died

    小人得志

  • that would have come back a long time ago to haunt somebody,

    那會在很久之前就會回來糾纏某人。

  • anybody if they could.

    任何人,如果他們能。

  • It takes one to know one, and I'm that type of person, Jimmy.

    這需要一個人去了解一個人,而我就是那種人,吉米。

  • I'm "petty" petty.

    我是 "小氣 "的小氣。

  • -You are petty? -Can't help it.

    -你很小氣?-沒辦法.

  • I'm still mad at you for something you said to me

    我還在為你對我說的話而生氣呢

  • on a random Tuesday morning in 2009.

    在2009年一個隨機的週二上午。

  • [ Light laughter ]

    [輕笑]

  • I never got over it.

    我從來沒有得到過它。

  • I'm not gonna say what it is right now,

    我現在不會說是什麼。

  • but if I die and come back as a ghost,

    但如果我死了,以鬼魂的身份回來。

  • I'll for sure remind you of it, maybe --

    我一定會提醒你的,也許... ...

  • [ Laughter ] -Wait, wait, I'm sorry --

    [笑]等待,等待,我很抱歉 -

  • So, you're going to haunt me?

    所以,你要纏著我?

  • -Yeah, maybe for all of eternity.

    -是的,也許是永恆的。

  • So, I'm up now. I can't get back to sleep.

    所以,我現在起來了。我睡不著了

  • That wakes up my wife.

    那會吵醒我老婆。

  • Instinctively, she immediately does something that irks me,

    本能地,她馬上做出一些讓我不爽的事情。

  • because for her not to do so would be too much like right.

    因為她不這樣做就太像對了。

  • She says, "Babe, you're up?"

    她說:"寶貝,你起來了?"

  • I go, "No.

    我去,"不。

  • I'm fast asleep, Michelle.

    我快睡著了,米歇爾

  • I'm sound asleep.

    我睡得很香

  • I'm in the Land of Nod right now."

    我現在就在諾德之國。"

  • And she goes, "It's 3:00 a.m. in the morning."

    她說:"現在是凌晨3點"

  • And that's like nails on a chalkboard for me,

    這對我來說就像黑板上的釘子。

  • because the fact that you said "a.m."

    因為你說了 "上午 "的事實。

  • is already indicative of it being in the morning.

    已經說明是在早上了。

  • We didn't need both. It's one or the other.

    我們不需要兩個都要。要麼選擇一個,要麼選擇另一個。

  • So consider yourself irk-listed. -Okay, alright, yeah, okay.

    所以,考慮你自己的惱怒名單。-好吧,好吧,好吧,好吧。

  • -I mean, at this point, she basically has a high score.

    -我的意思是,在這一點上,她基本上有一個高分。

  • Now I'm wide-awake.

    現在我醒了

  • I'm wide-awake, man. I'm "woke" woke.

    我是醒著的,夥計。我是 "醒 "醒的。

  • So I go, hey, I'm going to try and get some work done.

    所以,我走了,嘿,我要去嘗試,並得到一些工作。

  • And she's all, "This is a personal problem.

    她說:"這是個人問題。

  • You know, I could care less."

    你知道,我可以不在乎。"

  • And it irks me that we're cool as a society

    我很不爽,我們這個社會很冷靜。

  • with the saying, "I could care less."

    有句話叫 "我可以不在乎"

  • But we've unanimously agreed

    但我們一致認為

  • that it means we actually could not care less.

    意思是我們其實根本不在乎。

  • One could even split the difference

    甚至可以分出一部分

  • and use the word couldn't, but we just can't be bothered

    用 "不能 "這個詞,但我們就是不忍心。

  • with the business of adding that one apostrophe "nt"

    加上一個撇號 "nt"

  • and making it official.

    並使之正式化。

  • So, like, I'm a little angry, just a little bit,

    所以,喜歡,我有點生氣,只是一點點。

  • you know what I mean? I'm not "angry" angry.

    你知道我的意思嗎?我不是 "生氣 "生氣。

  • But I'm a little irked.

    但我有點不爽。

  • -Yeah. -I jump in the shower.

    -是的 我跳進浴室了

  • You ever take a irk shower, Jimmy?

    你洗過澡嗎,吉米?

  • -Have I ever -- Have I ever taken irked shower?

    -我有沒有... 我有沒有洗過惱怒的澡?

  • No, I -- -It's abrasive.

    不,我... ...這是磨蝕性的。

  • You could hurt yourself. -Uh-huh.

    你會傷到自己的-嗯哼

  • So in my attempts to calm down, I sing a song.

    所以在我試圖冷靜下來的時候,我唱了一首歌。

  • -Okay. -And when I sing in the shower,

    -好吧 還有我在洗澡時唱歌的時候..,

  • I go old-school. I want some funky ad-libs.

    我走老派。我想要一些時髦的廣告詞。

  • I come from days when singers would get fifty-eleven syllables

    我來自一個歌手能唱到五十六個音節的時代。

  • out of like a one-syllable word. -Fifty-eleven?

    就像一個單音節的單詞。-五十一?

  • -Yeah, yeah, but this new R&B, man, they only got two ad-libs.

    -是啊,是啊,但是這個新的R&B,夥計,他們只有兩個廣告詞。

  • They go, "Yah. Ey.

    他們去,"亞。呀。

  • Ey. Yah.

    Ey.Yah.

  • Yah-yah. Ey-ey."

    呀呀。Ey-ey."

  • It irks me. It irks me, man.

    這讓我很不爽它惹惱了我,夥計。

  • Back in the day,

    當年。

  • those jokers would made "Yeah" a 9-, 10-, 11-syllable word,

    那些小丑會讓 "是 "成為一個9,10,11音節的詞。

  • talkin' 'bout,

    談論'回合,

  • Yea-ea-ea-ea-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h ♪

    Yea-ea-ea-a-a-a-a-a-a-h

  • Now... [ Cheers and applause ]

    現在...[歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • ...that's flavor.

    ...這就是味道。

  • Like, we should bring back words like that,

    就像,我們應該把這樣的詞帶回來。

  • words likeWah-boh

    詞如華寶

  • We need to add more flavor. -Oh, yeah, I know "wah-boh."

    我們需要添加更多的味道。 - 哦,是的,我知道 "哇波"。-哦,是的,我知道 "哇波"。

  • -Yeah! Come on, more funkiness. -Yeah. ♪ Wah-boh

    -是啊!來吧,更多的funkiness。-是啊。 樺波赫

  • -You ever hear that song "Get Off Your Ass and Jam"?

    -你聽過那首 "離開你的屁股和果醬 "嗎?

  • Well, first of all, it was the profanity

    嗯,首先,它是褻瀆的。

  • that drew me in as a kid. I was maybe 3 years old.

    吸引了我作為一個孩子。我當時大概3歲。

  • It was genius. I'm not going to curse up here,

    這是天才。我不會在這裡罵人的。

  • but I'll sing it in pig Latin for you.

    但我會用豬的拉丁語唱給你聽。

  • It goes, uh...

    它去,呃...

  • [Bleep]

    [嗶]

  • "God am-day, get off your ass and j--"

    "上帝啊,快從你的屁股上下來,然後... ..."

  • Well, there's no pig-Latin word for ass.

    嗯,沒有豬拉丁語的屁股。

  • -Yeah, okay, alright, that didn't help at all.

    -是的,好吧,好吧,這一點也沒有幫助。

  • That didn't help.

    那也無濟於事。

  • -But then they hit you with thatWah-boh

    -但他們會用那句 "Wah -boh "來打你

  • And, oh, man, that's like the secret weapon.

    而且,哦,夥計,這就像祕密武器。

  • That's the sauce, Jimmy. So it makes it "funky" funky.

    那是醬汁,吉米。所以它使它 "時髦 "時髦。

  • Man, you singing some funk ad-libs in the shower,

    夥計,你在洗澡的時候唱了一些放克的廣告詞。

  • and you can't stay mad.

    你不能保持瘋狂。

  • So I get out happy, and I reach for a towel,

    於是,我高興地出來了,我拿著毛巾。

  • but then I'm immediately pissed right back off into irkdom.

    但我馬上就會被激怒,回到煩躁的境地。

  • The towel is non-absorbent.

    毛巾是不吸水的。

  • What am I supposed to do

    我應該怎麼做

  • with a towel that just relocates the wetness?

    用毛巾,只是將溼潤的地方重新定位?

  • This towel, it was giving me nothing.

    這條毛巾,它什麼都不給我。

  • So, I go, "You got one job, towel!

    於是,我走了,"你有一份工作,毛巾!

  • The hell is your problem? Stay thirsty, man!

    你到底是怎麼了?保持口渴,夥計!

  • Get your head in the game."

    把你的腦袋放在遊戲裡。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "You know, when you were a little wash cloth,

    "你知道的,當你還是個小洗衣布的時候。

  • I thought you had promise.

    我以為你有承諾。

  • I watched you grow into a hand towel

    我看著你長成一條手巾。

  • and then a full-on bath towel.

    然後再配上一條完整的浴巾。

  • But right now, right now,

    但現在,現在。

  • you acting like a little beach...towel

    你的行為就像一個小海灘... 毛巾。

  • right now.

    現在。

  • Actually, you're giving me lettuce vibes, man."

    其實,你給我的是生菜的氛圍,夥計。"

  • That's what it was, Jimmy. Like, the towel had a heft

    這就是它,吉米。喜歡,毛巾有一個重量

  • comparable to that of a wet leaf of lettuce.

    媲美溼潤的生菜葉。

  • So I'm basically trying to dry off with a Caesar salad

    所以我基本上是想用凱撒沙拉來擦乾水分

  • before I decided, you know,

    在我決定之前,你知道的。

  • to just use a bunch of paper towels.

    只是用一堆紙巾。

  • Needless to say, the day started on a bit of a sour note.

    不用說,這一天的開始有點酸爽。

  • But right now, I'm great, man. So thanks for asking.

    但現在,我很好,夥計。所以謝謝你的關心

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • -Wow.

    -哇。

  • Tariq Trotter, everybody! Thank goodness.

    Tariq Trotter, 各位!謝天謝地

  • Better now.

    現在好多了

-Well, hey, guys, it is March, late March,

-嘿,夥計們,現在是三月,三月底。

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B1 中級 中文 TheTonightShow 毛巾 夥計 吉米 生氣 名單

Tariq的Irk名單。"我可以不在乎",新的R&B廣告-Libs|吉米-法倫主演的今夜秀。 (Tariq’s Irk List: "I Could Care Less," New R&B Ad-Libs | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 03 月 26 日
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