Name: 想到要跟人社交就恐慌到不行嗎？其實只要改變這一個觀念就可以改善社交焦慮！(The Key To Overcoming Social Anxiety)
Uploaded: 2023-03-23T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 5 min 31 s

A very interesting study was conducted in 2000 at Cornell University by Professor Thomas Gilovich.

Thomas Gilovich 教授於 2000 年在康乃爾大學進行了一項非常有趣的研究。

過去簡單式

He took groups of students and randomly selected one individual from each group.

他把學生分成幾組，然後從每組中隨機選出一個人。

He then told the rest of the students to show up to a certain room at a certain time to work on a quote-unquote project.

然後，他告訴其他學生在特定時間出現在特定房間，來進行一個「項目」。

It's very important to note that all of the seats in this room were positioned in a way so that everyone was facing the door.

非常重要的是要注意，這個房間裡所有的座位都是以特定方式擺放，讓每個人都面向門口。

He then took the singled out individuals, purposely, stalled them a bit, and had them wear a T-shirt with a well-known person on it, such as Martin Luther King or Bob Marley.

然後，他故意把挑出來的人帶走，稍微拖延一下，讓他們穿上印有知名人士的 T 恤，比如馬丁·路德·金恩或巴布·馬利。

He then told that individual to go to the room, knowing that they would be late and also knowing that all of the other students would look up at the door and notice who was coming in.

在知道他們會遲到，也知道所有其他學生都會抬頭看著門口，注意到誰進來了的情況下告訴那些人進去房間。

This experiment was supposed to replicate an embarrassing event.

這個實驗想要重現出一個令人丟臉的場景。

The singled out individuals knew that they were the only ones who were late,

被挑出來的人知道他們是唯一遲到的人，

and they were led to believe that everyone else noticed by the fact that everyone looked up when they walked into the room.

當他們走進房間時，每個人都抬起頭來，這讓他們相信其他人都注意到了。

After the experiment, the researchers asked these embarrassed individuals, "How many of the students do you think remembered the incidents vividly?"

實驗結束後，研究人員詢對這些尷尬的學生問到：「你認為有多少學生對這些事件記憶猶新？」

And on average, these singled out individuals reported that 50% of all the other students would be able to recall the event and the shirt that they were wearing because, well, they messed up.

平均而言，報告指出這些被挑出來的人表示 50% 的學生會回憶遲到事件和他們穿的 T 恤，因為他們搞砸了。

And they were absolutely sure that a large chunk of people in the room noticed.

他們絕對確定房間裡的大部分人都注意到了。

But what the researchers actually found was that only 10% of the students in that room were able to recall the event and the t-shirt.

但研究人員實際發現的是，那個房間裡只有 10% 的學生能夠回憶起遲到事件和  T 恤。

Five times less than what our embarrassed individuals thought.

比感到丟臉的學生想像中的要少五倍。

What this experiment discovered is what's called "the spotlight effect".

這個實驗發現的就是所謂的「聚光燈效應」。

We humans often overestimate how much others care about our negative and also positive actions.

我們人類經常高估其他人對我們負面和正面行為的關心程度。

We think that the spotlight is on us that everyone is looking at us and judging us when in reality, the large majority of people simply don't care.

我們認為聚光燈在我們身上，每個人都在看著我們並評判我們，但其實，絕大多數人根本不在乎。

And this is a very, very important concept that you need to internalize if you are struggling with social anxiety.

這是一個非常重要的概念，如果你正因社交焦慮受挫，你需要吸收這個概念。

See, the main reason we feel anxious around others is because we feel like they're watching us and judging us.

我們在別人周圍感到焦慮的主要原因是因為我們覺得他們在看著我們並評判我們。

We're scared to act how we want to be ourselves because we don't want to risk people looking down on us.

我們害怕按照我們想要的方式做事，因為不想冒著別人看不起我們的風險。

But in reality, the large majority of people simply don't care that much about you.

但在現實中，很大一部分的人根本就不在乎他人。

I know this sounds like a bad thing but it's just human nature.

我知道這聽起來像是個壞事，但這就是人類的本性。

Most people are stuck in their own heads and are thinking about themselves, not you.

大部分的人都活在自己的世界，關心自己，而不是別人。

The moment you internalize this concept and genuinely start believing in it, your levels of social anxiety will drop significantly.

一旦你吸收這個概念並開始相信它，你的社交焦慮的程度就會顯著下降。

But of course, this is much easier said than done.

當然，這說起來容易做起來難。

How in the world can we get ourselves to truly, truly believe in the spotlight effect?

我們究竟怎樣才能讓自己相信聚光燈效應呢？

Well, today I'm gonna show you a simple two-step process that I personally used to drill this concept into my own head.

今天我會告訴大家一個簡單的兩步驟過程，我個人曾用智個方法來將聚光燈效應烙印到我自己的腦海中。

Step 1: you need to become more aware of your own thoughts.

第 1 步：你需要更加了解自己的想法。

The large majority of us are oblivious to the fifty to seventy thousand thoughts that we have on average every single day,

我們大多數人都不會察覺到我們平均每天有五十到七萬個想法，

which is why you need to start building a mindfulness habit like meditation where you try to clear your head and try to focus on one thing like your breathing.

這就是為什麼你需要開始養成正念習慣，例如冥想，你可以在冥想中嘗試下頭腦清醒並專注於呼吸等一件事上。

When you build a mindfulness practice like this, you will become ten times more aware of how you think,

當你開始這樣的正念練習時，你會變得更加地意識到你是如何思考的，

and you will also start to notice that the large majority of your own thoughts are about yourself, past events, future concerns, worrying about what others think, that sort of stuff.

你也會開始注意到，你自己的大部分想法都是關於你自己、過去的事件、未來的擔憂、擔心別人的想法，諸如此類。

You'll notice that less than 1% of your own thoughts will be about other people that you come across randomly throughout the day.

你會注意到，你自己的想法中只有不到 1% 是關於你在一天中隨機遇到的其他人的。

Step 2: once you've started becoming more aware of your own thoughts, you can start doing another mental exercise.

第 2 步：一旦你開始更加了解自己的想法，就可以開始進行另一項心理練習。

One that I like to call "the swapping-shoes exercise".

我喜歡稱之為「交換立場練習」。

This is when you go to a public place and pick out a random individual, then you focus, focus, focus and you try your hardest to imagine what's going on in their head.

就是當你去一個公共場所隨機挑選一個人，然後你集中注意力，盡最大努力想像他們腦海中在想什麼。

Imagine that you're in their shoes, living their life.

想像一下，你站在他們的立場上，過著他們的生活。

What problems are they currently facing? What are they currently worrying or stressing out about?

他們目前面臨哪些問題？ 他們目前擔心或讓他們壓力大的是什麼事情？

What sort of insecure thoughts are going on in their head? What other things do you think they're thinking about?

他們腦中在想什麼沒有安全感的想法？ 他們還在思考什麼其他事情？

Allow yourself to really imagine being in their shoes, and also imagine what sort of thoughts are going on in their head.

讓自己沈浸在想像自己是他們，也想像他們腦中在想什麼樣的想法。

By doing this exercise you will start to condition yourself to believe that others spend the majority of their time thinking about their own problems and themselves, which is actually true.

通過做這個練習，你會開始讓自己相信其他人大部分時間都在思考他們自己的問題和他們自己，事實上也是這樣。

The more you do this the more you will internalize the spotlight effect, which in turn will allow you to start feeling less and less social anxiety as you start to realize that people just aren't paying that much attention to you.

你這樣做的次數越多，你就會越可以吸收聚光燈效應的概念，這反過來會讓你開始越來越少感到社交焦慮，因為你開始意識到人們並沒有那麼在乎你。

It might sound a bit sad to realize this, but in reality, you'll feel a huge weight being lifted off of your shoulders, you will feel free.

這聽起來可能有點悲傷，但其實，你會感到肩上卸下了重擔，你會感到自由。

Oftentimes I get questions from you guys about where I get all of my ideas from, and to be honest, a fair amount of them do come from books.

很多時候我會收到你們問我所有的想法是從哪裡來的問題，老實說，其中有相當一部分來自書本。

The problem is that sometimes it can be hard to find time to sit down and read, which is why I recommend Blinkist.

問題是有時很難找到時間好好閱讀，這就是我推薦 Blinkist 的原因。

Blinkist takes the key teachings from thousands of non-fiction books and condenses them into 15-minute snippets that you can read or even listen to.

Blinkist 從數以千計的非小說類書籍中提取重點，並將它們濃縮成 15 分鐘的片段，你可以閱讀甚至收聽。

That way you don't have to read the entire book in order to extract the lessons.

這樣你就不必為了吸收知識而閱讀整本書。

I use Blinkist whenever I need to quickly learn more about a subject.

每當我需要快速地學習一個主題時，我會使用 Blinkist。

For example, just the other day I was doing some research on the subject of psychology, trying to find some new ideas.

例如，就在前幾天，我正在做一些關於心理學的研究，試著找到一些新的想法。

The problem was that there are literally dozens of books published every year about psychology.

問題是每年出版的心理學書籍有幾十本。

It would have taken me forever to manually go through each of these books.

手動瀏覽每一本書將花費我永無止盡的時間。

But because I have Blinkist, I was able to quickly learn a lot about many interesting psychology concepts from great books such as Truth by Hector McDonald, Life Lessons from a brain surgeon by Rahul Jandial, and Childhood disrupted by Donna Nakazawa.

但是因為我有 Blinkist，我能夠從 Hector McDonald 的 Truth、Rahul Jandial 的腦外科醫生的 Life Lessons 和 Donna Nakazawa 的 Childhood disrupted 等好書中快速學到很多有趣的心理學概念。

All of which I recommend you guys to check out.

以上這些書我都推薦你們去看看。

The first 100 people to go to www.blinkist.com/improvementpill will get unlimited access to try out Blinkist is for an entire week.

前 100 名到 www.blinkist.com/improvementpill 的人將獲得無限制的瀏覽權限，可以試用 Blinkist 整整一周。

You'll also get 25% off if you want a full membership.

如果想成為正式會員，還可以獲得 25% 的折扣。

If you want to help support the channel, this is one of the best ways to do so, just check it out.

如果你想幫助支持這個頻道，這是最好的方法之一，請去看看吧。

除此之外，敬請期待新的影片。

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想到要跟人社交就恐慌到不行嗎？其實只要改變這一個觀念就可以改善社交焦慮！(The Key To Overcoming Social Anxiety)

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