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  • improvement pill here welcome to the beefriend course so just a couple of

  • months ago I met up with an acquaintance of mine that I had met online and even

  • though this was the first time we ever spoke to each other in person we ended

  • up talking about relationships he told me about his dating life and his

  • relationship with his fiancee and within just 10 minutes he had already disclosed

  • to me how he was having second guesses regarding his recent engagement he was

  • having doubts about getting married and he literally said to me man I haven't

  • told anyone this not my friends not my co-workers definitely not my fiancee not

  • anyone I don't know why but I felt like I wanted to tell you stuff like this

  • happens to me all of the time people tell me things that they don't usually

  • share with others secrets radical opinions past traumas things like that

  • and because I'm able to get people to open up to me like this these

  • relationships thrive and we usually become good friends four years down the

  • line today I'm gonna show you exactly how you can get people to open up to you

  • so that you can create deeper and more fulfilling relationships in your own

  • life and there's really only two things you have to do first you have to learn

  • to reduce your filter if you think about it the reason why we are scared to say

  • certain things or to act in certain ways is because we are afraid of how others

  • will react we're scared of being made fun of of looking like a fool of being

  • branded as an outcast so we tend to keep a lot of our thoughts ideas and feelings

  • bottled up inside instead of talking about things that we really want to talk

  • about we put on a filter and we spend most of our time conversing in small

  • talk we talk about things like the weather our classes last night's sports

  • game because these are all safe topics but secretly

  • deep down inside we're all looking for that special someone someone who we can

  • share our strange thoughts and ideas with now if you come along and you fill

  • them from the start that you don't really care about being a perfect

  • snowflake then you don't really filter yourself and that you are willing to

  • talk about things that are deemed as socially unacceptable or strange then

  • people will want to open up to you they'll think wow this guy doesn't

  • really care too much about what society thinks so it should be safe for me to

  • talk to him about things that I've been bottling up inside you want to be that

  • guy you want to show them that you don't really have a filter and it's pretty

  • easy to do this all you have to do is share

  • something that is considered to be sort of weird something that is slightly out

  • of the norm for example I will sometimes tell people about how I don't sit on

  • toilets fun fact I squat on top of them when I do my business why well it's

  • because when I was a kid I just didn't like the cold feeling of my butt

  • touching the seat but it turns out that we humans are meant to use the toilet in

  • the squatting position there are a ton of benefits but let's not get into that

  • too much here you can look into that on your own time the point I'm trying to

  • make is that when you share something that's sort of strange like this people

  • will instinctively react by thinking huh that's weird but deep down inside

  • they're also thinking huh this guy doesn't really care too much about what

  • others think so it should be okay if I talk about some of the stuff I've been

  • bottling up inside as well I can relax and filter less my words and thoughts

  • now it's very important to note that there is a fine line between being seen

  • as someone who has a reduced filter and being seen as someone who is just plain

  • old crazy and it all depends on your perceived value which is a concept we

  • talked about in a previous video there's a difference between that unemployed guy

  • who lives next door coming up to you and talking about seeing aliens as compared

  • to someone like Bob Lazar who's a well-known scientist coming up to you

  • and talking about seeing an alien spaceship if your value is too low

  • people will just think that you're crazy you're gonna try their best to get away

  • from you so you should only reduce your filter and say weird things if your

  • value is high enough which means having proper hygiene having a decent amount of

  • social proof meaning that people know you have friends dressing decently well

  • being in decent shape being able to hold eye contact etc the higher your value is

  • the easier it is to get away with saying weird and strange things now before we

  • dive into the second thing you have to do in order to get people to open up to

  • you I want to quickly tell you about a new program of ours the habit builder

  • challenge because as we all know the only way you'll actually see any

  • progress in your life whether it's your health wealth overall happiness or even

  • your relationships is if you build the right habits you won't suddenly become a

  • social butterfly just by watching the befriend course I wish it was that easy

  • right because you actually have to go out there and build a habit of talking

  • to people so if you're interested in receiving news about this habit building

  • program of mine all you have to do is sign up for our email list by clicking

  • on the link in the description box below all right let's get back to the topic at

  • hand now after you've shown someone that you don't really have a filter by saying

  • something out of the norm it's still up to you to guide the conversation in a

  • way that will eventually get them to open up see most of the time people just

  • won't talk about things that they've been bottling up for months or even

  • years unless you prompt them to which is why the second thing you have to do is

  • ask the right questions and not just any question there is a special type of

  • question that I personally like to use a lot in conversations they're what I like

  • to call assumption questions all it is is when you make an assumption about

  • someone based on an observation and see if it's true or not going back to the

  • example from the beginning of the video when I was having the conversation with

  • my acquaintances I noticed that he had a very monotone expression on when talking

  • about his recent engagement so I said I'm just gonna be honest with you man

  • you don't really sound that excited about the engagement is there something

  • bothering you assumption questions like this - two things first it shows that

  • you are really really listening because the only way you can make an assumption

  • like this is if you are paying 100% close attention to what they were saying

  • how they were saying it and their body language the very fact that you're

  • paying this much attention shows that you genuinely care about what's being

  • said and that's something that people really really like it makes them feel

  • good the second thing this does is it causes

  • them to react if your assumption is wrong they will instinctively want to

  • correct you you might say something like oh no it's it's not that I'm not excited

  • I'm just tired for my long fight here yada yada in this case you can simply

  • take that information and branch off into another topic you can talk about

  • how you recover from jet lag - it's up to you but what I found is that if

  • you're really paying attention you'll actually be able to make a correct

  • assumption most of the time and when that happens when your assumption is

  • correct they will almost always start opening up because this is the cue for

  • them to open up that bottle to let out all those emotions and thoughts they've

  • been holding in for who knows how long right we all know that talking about our

  • problem helps relieve the stress that comes along with it and by making a

  • correct assumption you've essentially told them hey I'm the perfect person to

  • talk to about this subject I don't really have a filter so I probably won't

  • judge you and to top it off I care about you in this conversation so I am the

  • perfect candidate for you to talk to and that's how you get someone's open

  • by reducing your filter and asking assumption questions now the information

  • you learned in this video is helpful and it will work but at the end of the day

  • it doesn't mean anything unless you take action and you turn it into a habit

  • you've got to build a habit of talking to people if you ever want to get people

  • to open up to you right so if you want to learn more about the habit builder

  • challenge and also other future programs and services we'll be releasing

  • make sure you click on the link in the description box below to sign up for our

  • mailing list besides that guys stay tuned

improvement pill here welcome to the beefriend course so just a couple of

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A2 初級 美國腔

如何親近別人?(How To Get People To Open Up)

  • 346 3
    Amy.Lin 發佈於 2021 年 03 月 20 日
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