I GET TO TALK TO RINGO STARR TONIGHT.

我今晚要跟林檎星說話了。

THAT ONE.

那一個。

PEACE AND LOVE, RINGO!

和平與愛，林檎！

SOMETIMES CALLED THE FIFTH BEETLE.

有時被稱為第五隻甲蟲。

WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "晚間秀"。

I'M YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT AND I AM FEELING PRETTY DARN

我是你的節目斯蒂芬-科爾伯特，我感覺非常糟糕。

GOOD.

好的。

NOT JUST THE RINGO THING BUT IT'S BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME

不僅僅是裡高的事情，但它的原因是第一次。

IN THE LAST YEAR I FEEL LIKE THE GLASS IS HALF FULL.

在過去的一年裡，我覺得玻璃杯是半滿的。

IT'S PRETTY SURE THAT'S WATER, DOESN'T SMELL LIKE BLEACH.

很確定那是水，聞起來不像是水蛭。

BECAUSE AFTER A YEAR OF RELENTLESS DARK NEWS ABOUT THE

因為經過一年來關於美國的無情的黑暗新聞之後。

PANDEMIC, THERE MAY FINALLY BE SOME LIGHT AT THE END OF THE

PANDEMIC，最後可能會有一些光 在結束的地方

TUNNEL.

隧道：

I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN MY NEWLY-UPDATED SEGMENT: "CATCH

我會在我的最新章節中告訴你所有的事情。"捕捉

-- I'LL INFECT YOU, MY PRETTY AND YOUR LITTLE DOGS!

-- 我會傳染給你，我的寶貝和你的小狗!

T-- AHHH! I'M MELTING.

T -- AHHH！我正在融化。

>> Stephen: HEY, DON'T COMPLAIN TO ME!

>> Stephen: HEY, Don't COMPLAIN TO ME!

COMPLAIN TO THE PROP DEPARTMENT.

向專業部門投訴。

THEY KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH THIS WHEN THEY GIVE IT TO

他們知道我打算怎麼做，當他們給它

ME.

我。

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

你覺得呢？

I'M NOT THE ONE YOU NEED TO TALK TO.

我不是你要找的那個人。

QUICK MESSAGE TO PROPS.

快速留言給道具。

>> STEPHEN: THIS WEEKEND, WE REACHED A VERY EXCITING

>> 這個週末，我們達到了一個非常激動人心的目標，那就是在這個週末，我們將有更多的時間去做一些事情。

MILESTONE: THE UNITED STATES HAS NOW ADMINISTERED OVER

里程碑：美國現在已經管理著超過100個國家。

100 MILLION DOSES OF COVID-19 VACCINE, MEANING, ALMOST 20% OF

1億劑量的COVID-19疫苗，這意味著有近20%的人在使用。

THE TOTAL POPULATION HAVE GOTTEN AT LEAST ONE DOSE.

總人口至少增加了一劑。

OKAY, 20%, THAT'S ONE FIFTH.

好吧，20%，這是一個五分之一。

SO, NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN A GROUP OF FIVE PEOPLE, LOOK AROUND AND

所以，下一次你在五人小組中，環顧四周，然後。

SAY TO YOURSELF, "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN A GROUP OF FIVE

對自己說："我到底在五人小組中做什麼？

PEOPLE?

人？

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY SHOT YET!" ONE PERSON WHO GOT THE VACCINE

"我還沒打過針呢！"一個人誰得到了疫苗。

THIS WEEKEND WAS 18-TIME GRAMMY-WINNING CELLIST YO-YO-MA,

這個週末，18次獲得格萊美獎的大提琴家YO-YO-MA。

WHO DIDN'T JUST GET HIS SHOT, HE BROUGHT HIS CELLO WITH HIM, AND

誰不只是得到他的鏡頭， 他把他的CELLO與他，和。

THEN, DURING THE 15-MINUTE OBSERVATION PERIOD, PLAYED A

然後，在15分鐘的觀察時間內，播放了一個

SURPRISE CONCERT.

驚喜音樂會：

THAT'S LOVELY, BUT HOW MUCH OF A SURPRISE IS IT WHEN YO-YO MA

這很好，但有多大的驚喜是，當你，你的馬

PLAYS THE CELLO?

扮演塞洛？

"OH, MY GOSH, YO-YO, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE IN THAT GIANT

"哦，我的天啊，喲，喲，那巨大的裡面會有什麼呢？

CELLO-SHAPED CASE?

塞洛形狀的外殼？

I'M GOING TO SAY A VERY VOLUPTUOUS CLARINET?

我想說一個很有魄力的CLARINET？

OH, IT'S A CELLO?

哦，這是一個CELLO？

YES, WE WERE SURPRISED!" HERE'S A TASTE OF THE CONCERT:

是的，我們很驚訝！"這裡是音樂會的味道。

("AVE MARIA") ♪ ♪ ♪

("AVE MARIA")?

>> Stephen: UNBELIEVABLE.

>> 史蒂芬：不可置信。

PERFECTION.

完美。

TRANSPORTING.

交通運輸：

THANK YOU, YO-YO.

謝謝你，YO -YO。

WHAT A LOVELY GIFT FOR EVERYONE WAITING FOR THEIR SHOT TO TAKE

多麼可愛的禮物，送給等待機會的人。

EFFECT.

效果：

I WANT TO POINT OUT, "AVE MARIA" IS

我想指出，"AVE MARIA "是。

PLAYED AT A LOT OF FUNERALS.

在很多葬禮上演奏過。

IT'S A PANDEMIC, LET'S KEEP IT LIGHT.

這是一個PANDEMIC，讓我們保持它的光。

IS THERE A CELLO VERSION OF "UPTOWN FUNK?"

是否有一個CELLO版本的 "上城FUNK"？

BUT DESPITE ALL THE GOOD NEWS, THERE MAY BE TROUBLE ON THE

但是，儘管有這麼多的好消息，但可能會有麻煩。

HORIZON, BECAUSE NEARLY 30% OF AMERICANS-- AND HALF

因為有近30%的美國人... ...還有一半的人...

OF ALL REPUBLICAN MEN-- SAY THEY DO NOT INTEND TO GET ONE OF THE

在所有的共和黨人中，有一部分人說他們不打算得到一個

VACCINES.

疫苗：

FIRST OF ALL, I CALL DIBS ON THEIRS.

首先，我叫他們的名字。

SECOND OF ALL, WHY?

第二，為什麼？

WHY, REPUBLICAN MEN?

為什麼，共和黨人？

WHY?

為什麼？

YOUR GUY'S TAKING CREDIT FOR THE VACCINE.

你的傢伙的採取信貸 疫苗。

YOU'RE INSULTING HIM BY NOT GETTING JABBED.

你不被打，就是在侮辱他。

YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK HIS "WHATEVER'S-WHERE-HIS-HEART-SHOU

你要打破他的 "他的心在哪裡就在哪裡"。

LD-BE."

LD-BE。"

YESTERDAY, DR. ANTHONY FAUCI WAS ON THE FOX NEWS AND, IN AN

昨天，博士，安託尼-福西在福克斯新聞，安東尼・福西是在福克斯新聞和，在一個。

ATTEMPT TO GET THE FORMER PRESIDENT TO ENCOURAGE HIS

試圖讓前總統鼓勵他的兒子和女兒們

FOLLOWERS TO GET VACCINATED, HE TRIED FLAT-OUT FLATTERY:

跟隨者得到的VACCINATED，他嘗試了FLAT-OUT FLATTERY。

>> HE'S A VERY WIDELY POPULAR PERSON AMONG REPUBLICANS.

>> 他在共和黨人中是個很受歡迎的人。

IF HE CAME OUT AND SAID, "GO AND GET VACCINATED, IT'S REALLY

如果他出來說："去打疫苗吧，這真的是......"。

IMPORTANT FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE HEALTH OF YOUR FAMILY, AND THE

對您的健康、您家人的健康、以及您的家人的健康都很重要。

HEALTH OF THE COUNTRY," IT SEEMS ABSOLUTELY INEVITABLE THAT THE

國家的健康"，似乎完全不可避免的是。

VAST MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WHO ARE HIS CLOSE FOLLOWERS WOULD LISTEN

絕大多數人是他的親密追隨者，他們會聽從他的意見。

TO HIM.

給他。

HE'S SUCH A STRONGLY POPULAR PERSON.

他是個很受歡迎的人。

>> STEPHEN: (AS FAUCI) "HE'S SO STRONGLY POPULAR, AND

>> "他非常受歡迎，而且...

MIGHT I ADD, VERY ATTRACTIVE.

我想說的是，非常吸引人。

AS AN IMMUNOLOGIST, I'D SAY HE'S CONTAGIOUSLY SEXY, AND I

作為一個免疫學家，我會說他很性感，而且我...

DIAGNOSE HIM WITH ONE FINE ANTI-BODY.

用一個細小的防身術來診斷他。

JUST LOOKING AT HIM, I RUN A FEVER OF 100-AND-DAMN!

光是看著他，我就有100度的恐懼，該死的！

IS IT WORKING?

它在工作嗎？

IS HE ACTING RESPONSIBLE YET?

他的行為負責任了嗎？

HUBBA HUBBA."

HUBBA HUBBA。"

"TEAR ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT BUT NOT HIS HAIR BECAUSE THAT HAIR

"把我的頭髮撕下來，但不要撕他的頭髮，因為他的頭髮...

IS REAL."

是真實的。"

BUT TO GET EVERYONE THEIR SHOTS, WE NEED LEADERSHIP IN EVERY PART

但為了讓每個人都有機會，我們需要每個環節的領導力。

OF THE COMMUNITY.

社區的發展：

WHICH IS WHY THOUSANDS OF CLERGY MEMBERS FROM A CROSS SECTION OF

這就是為什麼成千上萬的教士成員從一個十字部分的原因。

FAITHS-- IMAMS, RABBIS, PRIESTS, AND SWAMIS-- ARE TRYING TO COAX

教派--伊瑪目，拉比，牧師，和瓦米斯--都在試圖哄騙... ...

THE HESITANT TO GET VACCINATED AGAINST COVID-19.

對COVID-19不願意接種疫苗。

REMINDS ME OF THAT JOKE: A PRIEST, A RABBI, AN IMAM AND A

讓我想起了那個笑話：一個牧師，一個拉比，一個伊瑪目和一個...

SWAMI WALK INTO A BAR-- AND IT'S OKAY 'CAUSE THEY ALL GOT

SWAMI走進一家酒吧 -- 這沒關係，因為他們都得到了。

VACCINATED!

接種了！

AT ONE EVANGELICAL CHURCH IN FLORIDA, THE REVEREND ENCOURAGES

在佛羅里達州的一個福音教會，牧師鼓勵人們

HIS CONGREGATION BY REMINDING THEM THAT OUR TRADITION IS RICH

提醒他們，我們的傳統是豐富的。

WITH CHRIST THE HEALER.

與醫者基督同在。

YES, AND REMEMBER, CHRIST IS SCHEDULED TO COME BACK FOR A

是的，請記住，基督已被安排好再來一次。

SECOND DOSE ON A CLOUD OF GLORY.

第二劑在榮耀的雲層上。

FOR CATHOLICS, POPE FRANCIS DECLARED THAT CORONAVIRUS SHOTS

對天主教徒來說，弗朗西斯教皇宣佈，冠狀病毒疫苗。

ARE "MORALLY ACCEPTABLE."

是 "道德上可以接受的"。

AND WHEN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH DESCRIBES SOMETHING AS MORALLY

當天主教教會將某件事情描述為道德上的

ACCEPTABLE, THERE'S A CHANCE THAT IT IS.

可以接受，有一個機會，它是。

THE POINT IS, IF EVERYONE GETS VACCINATED, WE CAN MAKE IT

重點是，如果大家都被打了疫苗，我們就能做到。

THROUGH THIS PANDEMIC IN JUST A FEW MONTHS, AS LONG AS AMERICANS

在短短几個月的時間裡，只要美國人能夠度過這段恐慌期

DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID-- AND WE'RE DOOMED, 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT

不要做任何愚蠢的事情 -- 我們就完蛋了，因為我們已經得到了... ...

TO PASS WHAT'S KNOWN AS "THE MARSHMALLOW TEST."

要通過什麼是所謂的 "馬什馬洛測試"。

BACK IN THE EARLY '70S, A STANFORD RESEARCHER RAN A TEST

早在70年代初，斯坦福的一位研究人員就進行了一項測試。

WITH A GROUP OF 600 PRESCHOOLERS.

與600名學生一起。

HE WOULD GIVE EACH CHILD A MARSHMALLOW AND GIVE THEM THE

他要給每個孩子一個棉花糖，並給他們。

OPTION OF EATING IT IMMEDIATELY IF THEY CHOSE.

選擇立即吃它，如果他們選擇。

BUT IF THEY COULD WAIT 15 MINUTES, THEY WOULD GET A SECOND

但是，如果他們能等待15分鐘，他們會得到第二個

MARSHMALLOW AS A REWARD.

MARSHMALLOW作為獎勵。

THAT STORY MAKES ME SO HUNGRY.

這個故事讓我好餓。

ANYWAY -- ANYWAY -- ABOUT A THIRD -- STOP WHAT?

無論如何... ... 無論如何... ... 第三次...

IT'S A MARSHMALLOW, YOU BABY.

這是一個棉花糖，你的寶貝。

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN HERE.

這裡會發生什麼。

>> Stephen: OH, DON'T DO ANYTHING SILLY.

>> 史蒂芬：哦，不要做任何事情SILLY。

IT'S A COMEDY SHOW!

這是一個喜劇表演！

( LAUGHTER ) ANYWAY --

（笑）反正 -

ANYWAY, ABOUT A THIRD OF THE KIDS WAITED TO GET THE SECOND

總之，大約有三分之一的孩子等著去拿第二份報告。

MARSHMALLOW, AND THE RESEARCHER FOUND THAT, YEARS LATER, THEY

MARSHMALLOW和研究者發現，多年後，他們的。

HAD BETTER OUTCOMES IN LIFE, THANKS TO THEIR ABILITY TO DELAY

由於他們有能力拖延，他們在生活中取得了更好的結果。

GRATIFICATION.

感謝。

SIMILARLY, IF WE CAN DELAY THE GRATIFICATION OF GOING OUT FOR

同樣地，如果我們能夠延遲外出的謝意，我們也會有更多的選擇。

JUST A FEW MORE WEEKS WHILE EVERYONE GETS VACCINATED, WE

再過幾個星期，當大家都在打疫苗的時候，我們

CAN-- >> SPRING BREAKERS TOUCHING DOWN

CAN-->>彈簧斷路器觸地。

IN THE SUNSHINE STATE.

在陽光燦爛的州。

FROM FORT LAUDERDALE TO MIAMI BEACH, SOUTH FLORIDA BARS

從佛羅里達州福特戴爾到邁阿密海灘，佛羅里達州南部的酒吧。

AND RESTAURANTS PACKED WITH PEOPLE.

以及人山人海的餐廳。

>> STEPHEN: FLORIDA!

>> 佛羅里達州！

I KNOW WHAT IT'S GOING TO SAY ON OUR NATION'S TOMBSTONE:

我知道我們國家的墓碑上會寫些什麼

"AMERICA 1776-2021.

"美國1776-2021年。

DESTROYED BY OUR BIGGEST DICK."

被我們最大的雞巴給毀了。"

ONE SPRING BREAKER EXPLAINED "GRANNY SHOULDN'T BE OUT HERE

一個春天的突破者解釋說："奶奶不應該在這裡。

ANYWAYS.

無論如何。

IT'S TOO MANY PEOPLE."

太多人了。"

NO, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULDN'T BE OUT THERE.

不，你才是那個不應該出現在那裡的人。

GRANNY'S VACCINATED.

GRANNY's VACCINATED。

THOSE BARS OUGHT TO BE DOING OPPOSITE CARDING.

這些酒吧應該是在做相反的卡丁。

"YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU'RE 75.

"你看起來不像是75歲的人。

START HUMMING YOUR FAVORITE PERRY COMO SONG OR I'M CALLING

開始哼唱你最喜歡的佩裡-科莫的歌曲或我打電話

THE COPS."

警察。"

♪ CATCH A FALLING STAR AND PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET ♪

抓住一顆墜落的星星，把它放在你的口袋裡。

SO, CLEARLY, WHEN IT COMES TO COVID, AMERICA IS FAILING THE

所以，很明顯，當涉及到COVID，美國是失敗的。

MARSHMALLOW TEST.

MARSHMALLOW TEST.

AND THAT'S EMBARRASSING, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THE FACT THAT

這是令人尷尬的，特別是考慮到以下事實：

THIS MONTH, SCIENTISTS ANNOUNCED THAT CUTTLEFISH-- SQUID-- CAN

這個月，科學家們宣佈，烏賊魚... ... SQUID...

PASS THE MARSHMALLOW TEST.

通過 MARSHMALLOW測試。

CUTTLEFISH ARE SHOWING MORE RESTRAINT THAN HUMANS.

醜魚比人類表現出更多的剋制。

AT THIS POINT, WE SHOULD JUST BATTER AND FRY OURSELVES.

在這一點上，我們應該只是毆打和油炸我們自己。

WELL, CHARLTON HESTON TRIED TO WARN US.

查爾頓-赫斯頓曾試圖警告我們。

>> YOU MANIACS!

>> 你們這些瘋子！

YOU ATE ALL THE MARSHMALLOWS!

你把所有的棉花糖都吃了！

DAMN YOU, FLORIDA!

該死的，佛羅里達州！

GOSH DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

天哪，你們都下地獄去吧！

>> Stephen: I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT JOKE AT ALL.

>> 史蒂芬：我完全不明白這個笑話。

I LOVE IT.

我愛它。

I LOVE IT.

我愛它。

I LOVE HESTON.

我愛海斯頓。

I LOVE THE CUTTLEFISH.

我喜歡這條醜魚。

IT'S STUPID.

這是愚蠢的。

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE CUTTLEFISH IS LADY LIBERTY IN

我不明白為什麼CUTTLEFISH在LADY LIBERTY裡是LADY LIBERTY？

THIS ONE.

這一個。

CAN EITHER OF YOU EXPLAIN IT?

你們兩個都能解釋一下嗎？

>> IT'S A METAPHOR.

>> 這只是個比喻。

>> Stephen: FOR WHAT?

>> 斯蒂芬。為了什麼？

AMERICA.

美國：

( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: THERE'S ANOTHER

有另一個

THING PUTTING A SPRING IN MY STEP, AND THAT'S MUSIC!

事情把一個春天在我的步伐， 而這是音樂！

LAST NIGHT WAS THE 63RD ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS, HOSTED BY MY

昨晚是第63屆格萊美獎頒獎典禮，由我的朋友主持

FRIEND AND PARAMOUNT+ COLLEAGUE, TREVOR NOAH!

FRIEND AND PARAMOUNT+ COLLEAGUE, TREVOR NOAH!

TREVOR KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE ARENA --

特雷弗把它打出了競技場 --

IN THAT HE WAS OUT OF THE ARENA, BECAUSE IT WAS THE FIRST TIME

他離開了競技場，因為這是第一次。

THE GRAMMYS TOOK PLACE OUTDOORS.

格萊美在戶外取得了位置。

WHICH WORKED OUT GREAT EXCEPT FOR WHEN BRUNO MARS WAS CARRIED

其中工作了偉大的，除了當布魯諾-馬爾斯被攜帶

OFF BY A HAWK.

被一隻鷹關了。

THOUGHT IT WAS A RABBITT.

以為是一隻兔子。

EAGLE THOUGHT IT WAS A RABBITT.

老鷹以為是一隻兔子。

HE'S A TINY MAN.

他是一個瘦小的人。

THIS YEAR, FEMALE ARTISTS WON BIG.

今年，女性藝術家大獲全勝。

ESPECIALLY BEYONCE, WHO WENT IN WITH NINE NOMINATIONS-- THE MOST

特別是Beyonce，他獲得了最多的提名。

OF THE NIGHT-- AND BY THE END OF THE EVENING, BROKE THE RECORD

在晚上的時候... ... 並在晚上結束的時候，打破了記錄。

FOR THE MOST GRAMMYS WON BY A WOMAN, AND ANY SINGER, MALE OR

對於女性和任何歌手，無論是男性還是女性，獲得的最多格萊美獎。

FEMALE, WITH 28.

女性，有28歲。

HOPEFULLY, SHE FINALLY GOT ONE WHERE THE LITTLE RECORD PLAYER

希望她終於找到了一個小唱片演奏家的地方。

ACTUALLY WORKS.

實際工作。

I WON THIS A COUPLE YEARS BACK, AND THE SOUND QUALITY IS

我在幾年前贏得了這個，和聲音品質是。

TERRIBLE.

糟糕的。

I CAN'T GET IT TO PAIR WITH MY EAR BUDS.

我不能讓它與我的耳塞配對。

WHAT'S THAT?

那是什麼？

OKAY.

好的。

( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO SHOW ONE

你只需要展示一個。

WAY.

辦法。

IT'S TRUE.

這是真的。

I'M GOING TO GET A LETTER.

我要去得到一個字母。

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE LETTER FROM THE ACADEMY FOR

我期待著學院的來信，以備不時之需。

DOING THIS.

做這個。

WHAT?

什麼？

HIDEOUS.

隱蔽的。

BEAUTIFUL.

美妙的。

HIDEOUS.

隱蔽的。

BEAUTIFUL.

美妙的。

COME AT ME.

來吧，我。

IT WAS ALSO A BIG NIGHT FOR TAYLOR SWIFT, OR T-SWIZZLE AS I

這也是泰勒-斯威夫特，或者我說的T-斯威茲爾的一個重要夜晚。

CALL HER, DESPITE THE COURT ORDER, WHO BECAME THE FIRST

叫她，儘管法院有命令，但誰成為第一個。

WOMAN TO WIN ALBUM OF THE YEAR THREE TIMES.

女歌手三次獲得年度最佳專輯。

NOT ONLY THAT, HER LIVE PERFORMANCE WON THE AWARD FOR

不僅如此，她的現場表演還獲得了 "最佳表演獎"。

MOST MOSS.

MOST MOSS：

HONESTLY, AFTER A YEAR OF NOT MOVING AT ALL, I CAN RELATE.

老實說，經過一年的不動， 我可以相關。

MY DEAR FRIEND MEGHAN THEE STALLION ALSO HAD A LOT TO

我親愛的朋友梅根... ... .......

CELEBRATE.

慶祝：

SHE BECAME THE FIRST FEMALE RAPPER TO BE NAMED BEST NEW

她成為第一個被評為最佳新人的女性說唱歌手。

ARTIST SINCE 1999, AND PUT ON A SCORCHING PERFORMANCE OF "WAP"

1999年至今，在《WAP》中進行了一場驚心動魄的表演。

WITH CARDI B.

與CARDI B.

IT WAS SO HOT, MEGHAN HAD TO TELL US HOW TO PUT OUT THE FIRE.

太熱了，MEGHAN不得不告訴我們如何滅火。

>> ♪ NOW MAKE IT RAIN IF YOU WANNA SEE SOME WET-WET-WET ♪

>> 現在讓它下雨，如果你想看到一些溼 -溼 -溼的

>> STEPHEN: OF COURSE, SINCE IT WAS CBS, LAST NIGHT, "WAP"

>> 當然，因為昨晚是CBS，"WAP"。

STOOD FOR "WATCH 'ABISHOLA' AND 'PICARD.'"

堅持 "看《阿比索拉》和《皮卡德》"

HEY, SPEAKING OF RISQUE, HARRY STYLES MADE HIS OWN FASHION

嘿，說到RISQUE，HARRY STYLES創造了他自己的時尚。

STATEMENT WITH A COUPLE OF FEATHER BOAS AND THIS $450 GUCCI

聲明與一組ATHER BOAS和這450美元的GUCCI。

BANANA PENIS NECKLACE, THAT -- SLIGHTLY BLURRED HERE -- THAT

香蕉陰莖項鍊，那 - 稍微模糊這裡 - 那。

IMMEDIATELY SOLD OUT ONLINE.

即時在線售罄。

SO, IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO BUY A PHALLIC BANANA, I'M AFRAID

所以，如果你想買PHALLIC香蕉，我很害怕。

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SETTLE FOR A BANANA.

你要去必須解決一個香蕉。

NOW, I LOVE HARRY STYLES-- WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON, ONE

現在，我愛哈里-斯蒂爾，我們有很多共同點，一個是：

IMAGINES-- BUT I HAVE TO WONDER, WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE WAS HE

想象一下... ... 但我要問的是，他在傳遞什麼資訊？

TRYING TO SEND WITH THAT CHOICE OF PENILE FRUIT JEWELRY?

試圖用那個選擇的五角果首飾發送？

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET FROM IT?

我們要從中得到什麼？

THAT HIS MEMBER IS PERFECTLY RIPE WHEN IT DEVELOPS LIGHT

他的成員是完美的撕裂，當它發展的光

BROWN SPOTS?

褐色斑點？

THAT HIS PENIS IS A SURPRISING SOURCE OF POTASSIUM AND HE

他的陰莖是一個令人驚訝的來源的鉀，而他

RECOMMENDS SERVING HIS PENIS SLICED UP ON RICE KRISPIES?

建議把他的陰莖切成片放在米飯餅上？

THAT I CAN MAKE BREAD WITH HARRY STYLES' PENIS?

我可以做麵包 與哈里-斯蒂爾斯的陰莖？

ALSO, DOES ONE HAVE TO PEEL HIS PENIS?

另外，一個人必須要剝掉他的陰莖嗎？

BEFORE YOU ENJOY IT?

在你享受它之前？

WE MAY NEVER KNOW.

我們可能永遠不會知道。

BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY TO GET YOUR HANDS ON HARRY STYLES'

因為沒有辦法拿到哈瑞-斯蒂爾斯的手。

BANANA PENIS-- NECKLACE.

香蕉陰莖 -- 項鍊。

IT'S SOLD OUT.

它的售罄。

THIS LEAVES A SPRAWLING GAP IN THE MARKET FOR OTHER

這給其他產品的市場留下了一個巨大的缺口。

ANATOMICALLY CORRECT FOOD ACCESSORIES-- WHICH "A LATE

異常正確的食品配件--哪些 "遲到的"？

SHOW" IS PROUD TO EXCLUSIVELY OFFER TONIGHT.

節目 "很榮幸地在今晚獨家提供。

LIKE THIS STUNNING STERLING SILVER PEAR SCROTUM.

就像這個迷人的銀色梨子SCROTUM。

OR BEDECK YOUR EARS WITH THESE GORGEOUS PINEAPPLE

或者用這些華麗的松樹花來裝飾你的耳朵。

VAGINAS.

陰道：

OR A BEAUTIFUL STATEMENT RING.

或一個美麗的聲明戒指。

THE STATEMENT: THIS TURNIP LOOKS LIKE A BUTT.