I am here with John Oliver, the host of

我在這裡與約翰-奧利弗，主持人的

"Last Week Tonight with John Oliver."

"上週今晚與約翰-奧利弗。"

I always love having you on the show.

我一直喜歡你上節目

And thank you for doing "Hey Robot."

謝謝你做 "嘿，機器人"。

-Of course.

-當然

I was going to say "a pleasure," but it wasn't.

我本來想說 "榮幸"，但不是。

It wasn't.

不是這樣的

I really hope, Jimmy, you didn't cut out my question about

我真的希望，吉米，你沒有刪掉我的問題，關於

what union busting is.

什麼是工會破壞。

I presume you left that in.

我想你應該是把這句話留了下來。

-I was just on -- I was just going to take your joke again.

-我只是... 我只是想再次接受你的玩笑。

I was just on grumpycat.com.

我剛才在暴躁貓網。

I kind of remember Grumpy Cat was like a --

我記得脾氣暴躁的貓就像一個 --

It was a cat, right? It looked sad?

那是一隻貓，對嗎？它看起來很悲傷？

-Yeah. Do you know what? We tried to get Grumpy Cat.

-是啊，你知道嗎？你知道嗎？我們想去找脾氣暴躁的貓

In the first year, I think, of our show,

在我們節目的第一年，我想，。

we had an idea for a joke and we said --

我們有一個想法 一個笑話，我們說 -

We got in touch with Grumpy Cat's people,

我們聯繫上了脾氣貓的人。

saying, "Could we have Grumpy Cat?"

說，"我們可以有脾氣暴躁的貓？"

They sent back the -- the first-class plane tickets

他們寄回了... 頭等艙的機票。

they would need and what Grumpy Cat cost,

他們需要什麼，脾氣暴躁的貓又要花多少錢。

and we thought, "[Bleep] Grumpy Cat.

我們想，"[嗶]暴躁的貓"。

We don't need that for this joke."

我們不需要這個笑話。"

I'll tell you what we can get. Another cat.

我會告訴你我們能得到什麼。另一隻貓。

-We did something -- We had a dog that was a famous dog

-我們做了一些事情，我們有一隻狗，是一隻著名的狗。

that didn't -- It just looked cute.

這沒有 - 它只是看起來很可愛。

It didn't do anything.

它什麼也沒做。

It just sat on a dog bed and looked cute.

它就坐在狗床上，看起來很可愛。

And it was -- Oh, no, I'm so sorry.

它是 - 哦，不，我很抱歉。

It was backstage at a Kevin Hart concert.

那是在凱文-哈特演唱會的後臺。

-Wow! -I swear to God.

-哇！-我向上帝發誓

-You are fully conflating two memories there.

-你完全把兩個記憶混為一談了.

"Was it on the show?

"是在節目中嗎？

"It was backstage at a Kevin Hart concert.

"那是在凱文-哈特演唱會的後臺。

You know what? I dreamt it. Let's move on."

你知道嗎？我夢到了。讓我們繼續前進。"

Wait. No, I -- We have to go back.

等等 不 我...不，我... ... 我們必須回去。

You saw a famous dog lying on a bed backstage

你在後臺看到一隻名犬躺在床上。

at a Kevin Hart concert?

在凱文-哈特的演唱會上？

-Yes. I went to a Kevin Hart concert.

是的，我去看了凱文-哈特的演唱會我去看了凱文-哈特的演唱會

I went backstage, and in a room, they go,

我去了後臺，在一個房間裡，他們去。

"Do you want to meet..." something dog or something.

"你要不要見見...... "什麼狗什麼的。

And I go, "I have no idea what that is.

我走了，"我不知道那是什麼。

I'm just here -- I'm gonna say hi to Kevin, and then..."

我只是來和Kevin打個招呼，然後..."

They go, "Well, the owners would like

他們走了，"好吧，業主們想。

you to say hello to" whatever it was.

你打招呼 "不管是。

And so I went in,

於是我就進去了。

and there was like a line of people waiting to meet this dog.

有像一排人 等待滿足這隻狗。

The dog was in one of the rooms backstage,

狗是在後臺的一個房間裡。

like had his own dressing room.

像有他自己的更衣室。

-I mean, every anecdote from before the pandemic

-我是說，大流行之前的每一個軼事都是如此

seems dislocating now.

現在似乎脫臼了。

To me, that's one of the weirdest anecdotes

對我來說，這是最奇怪的軼事之一。

I've ever heard.

我聽說過。

I feel like you've thrown that out, Jimmy,

我覺得你已經把這句話扔出去了，吉米。

like that's a normal thing to say.

就像這是一個正常的事情說。

"I met this famous dog backstage of a Kevin Hart concert"

"我在凱文-哈特演唱會的後臺遇到了這隻名犬"

is a sequence of words in the English language

是英語中的單詞序列

I don't think have ever been said before.

我想以前從來沒有人說過。

-Oh, my gosh.

-哦，我的天哪

-"I met this famous dog backstage

-"我在後臺遇到了這隻名犬

at a Kevin Hart concert, and it looked disappointed.

在凱文-哈特的演唱會上，它看起來很失望。

And I kind of got it."

我也算是明白了。"

-I want to talk about some topical things,

-我想談談一些熱門的事情。

if you don't mind.

如果你不介意的話

Something everyone has been talking about this past week is

過去一週，大家都在談論的事情是

Prince Harry and Meghan's interview with Oprah.

哈里王子和梅根接受奧普拉的採訪。

-Right. -Did you watch this?

-好吧，你看了嗎？-你看了這個嗎？

-I did. I did watch it. -The whole thing?

-我看了我看了-整件事？

-Yeah, my wife was -- She -- I watched it soup to nuts,

-是的，我妻子是... 她... 我看了它的湯到堅果。

the whole thing.

整個事情。

And, yeah, it was -- It was amazing?

而且，是的，它是 - 這是驚人的？

I mean, I will say, I didn't find any of it surprising.

我的意思是，我會說，我沒有發現任何的驚喜。

That was kind of what I felt like, sadly,

這是我的一種感覺，很遺憾。

her experience was going to be going in,

她的經驗是要在。

because, you know, I grew up --

因為，你知道，我長大了 -

I know the royal family from a distance,

我對皇室的瞭解是遠遠的。

and they seemed like flawed people.

而且他們看起來像有缺陷的人。

That's literally the kindest way I could possibly put it.

這簡直是我能說的最善良的方式了。

-Nothing shocked you at all about the interview?

-採訪中沒有什麼讓你震驚的地方嗎？

-The only thing that shocked me afterwards was that

-事後唯一讓我震驚的是... ...

Oprah, the next day, saying, "Oh, Prince Harry

奧普拉，第二天，說："哦，哈里王子。

wants to make it clear that it wasn't

想說明的是，它不是

Prince Philip being racist," which made me think, "Really?

菲利普王子是種族主義者，"這讓我覺得，"真的嗎？

Okay, that -- that is actually surprising."

好吧，那--那其實是令人驚訝的。"

I think was assumed,

我想是假設。

And I guess people just didn't hear him.

我想人們只是沒有聽到他的聲音。

-Do you think any change will come from this interview?

-你覺得這次採訪會有什麼變化嗎？

-I don't -- I mean, it's hard to say, isn't it?

-我不... 我是說，很難說，不是嗎？

Because the royal family --

因為皇室...

its whole selling point is that it doesn't change.

它的整個賣點就是不改變。

That was kind of the point of it over centuries,

這也算是幾百年來的重點了。

that, you know, times come and go,

你知道，時代來了又走。

governments rise and fall, but the royal family

天下興亡，匹夫有責

will always be there, unyielding,

將永遠在那裡，不屈不撓。

the stiff upper lip that doesn't wobble.

僵硬的上脣，不會晃動。

So that's their selling point.

所以這就是他們的賣點。

As years go by, you realize that not changing

隨著歲月的流逝，你會意識到，不改變。

is not entirely a good thing, because that means

並不完全是一件好事，因為這意味著

the times might be changing around you,

時代可能在你身邊發生變化。

and you are refusing to evolve.

而你卻拒絕進化。

So I don't think they will change,

所以我認為他們不會改變。

because I don't think they have the capacity to,

因為我不認為他們有能力。

but they obviously should.

但他們顯然應該。

The one person who I think has been really happy

我覺得真正幸福的一個人。

about all of this is Prince Andrew.

關於這一切的是安德魯王子。

I'm guessing that he has been nudging

我猜測他一直在推敲

the royal family like, "Can you believe what Meghan did, huh?

王室一樣，"你能相信 梅根做了什麼，呵呵？

Can you believe it?

你能相信嗎？

Dragging this family's name into disrepute,

拖累了這個家族的名聲。

shaming us, right?"

羞辱我們，對嗎？"

-"Everyone is talking about this and only this."

-"每個人都在談論這個，只有這個。"

-"She's ruined our reputation. She has, right, guys?"

-"她毀了我們的名聲。她毀了，對吧，夥計們？"

Wow. -Wow.

哇哦-哇。

The other week on your show, you briefly talked about

前幾周在你的節目中，你簡單地談了一下關於

Ted Cruz going to Cancun.

特德-克魯茲要去坎昆。

And I got the feeling that there was more you wanted to say

我感覺你還有更多的話想說。

but didn't have the time.

但沒有時間。

We have the time now. Is there --

我們現在有時間。是否有...

-Oh, I mean, the thing that was most tantalizing to me

-哦，我是說，對我來說最誘人的東西

about that regretful episode

遺憾的事情

was Heidi Cruz's group chat leaking,

是海蒂-克魯茲的群聊洩露。

Because I think it just really drilled home to me

因為我認為它只是真的鑽回家給我。

that nothing good comes from a group chat.

群聊沒有什麼好結果。

I don't mess with group chats, Jimmy.

我不搞群聊，吉米。

-I wonder if she found out which friend it was.

-不知道她有沒有發現是哪個朋友。

-Oh, she definitely found out which friend it was.

-哦，她肯定發現了是哪個朋友。

I think she knew going in.

我想她知道要去。

You know what the weak link in a group chat is.

你知道群聊的薄弱環節是什麼嗎？

She knows -- She didn't need to find out.

她知道... ... 她不需要發現。

She knew.

她知道。

-Do you think there's another group chat

-你覺得還有別的群聊嗎？

that's talking about Heidi Cruz?

這是在說海蒂-克魯茲？

-Oh, 100%. There is absolutely.

-哦，100%。哦，100%。 有絕對。

The group chat with Heidi Cruz on it,

與海蒂-克魯茲的群聊就。

and then there's the same group chat without Heidi Cruz on it.

然後有同樣的群聊 沒有海蒂-克魯茲就可以了。

And that is the group chat that I want to see.

而這就是我想看到的群聊。

I want to see the "Can you believe this [bleep]"

我想看看 "你能相信嗎[嗶]"

from the rest of the neighbors.

從其他鄰居。

That's the group chat with the good stuff in.

那是群聊，有好東西在。

That is the one group chat I will join.

這是我要加入的一個群聊。

-Yeah. Oh, really? Okay.

-是啊是啊。 - 哦，真的嗎？真的嗎？

-Heidi Cruz's neighbors's group chat that she's not on.

海蒂-克魯茲的鄰居的群聊，她不在。

That. Invite me. I'm there.

那個邀請我。我在那裡。

-This past year has been tough for a lot of people.

-過去的一年對很多人來說都是艱難的一年。

And I just want to say one thing I love about your show

我只想說一件事，我喜歡你的節目。

is that you're continuously finding ways to give and donate.

是你在不斷地尋找奉獻和捐贈的方式。

And you donate in interesting ways to food banks.

你還用有趣的方式給食物銀行捐款。

-I think what we were really doing is kind of

-我認為我們真正做的是一種...

money-laundering HBO's production budget

洗黑錢

to food banks over the last year.

去年向食物銀行提供的資金。

So it felt like we were just -- each week,

所以感覺上我們只是... 每個星期。

we were trying to come up with different ways

我們想盡辦法

to kind of force a donation to a food bank.

以此來強制向食物銀行捐款。

"No, sell us this painting.

"不，把這幅畫賣給我們。

We'll give you -- Name your sewage plant after me.

我們會給你... 以我的名字命名你的汙水處理廠。

Give it to a food bank." -That was the best.

把它給食物銀行。"-那是最好的。

The sewage plant was the best.

汙水廠是最好的。

So, wait. So, you just go like this.

所以，等待。所以，你就這樣去。

"We're just making a show.

"我們只是在做一場秀。

We needed a budget for that,

我們需要一個預算。

and the money will go to the food bank."

而這些錢將捐給食物銀行。"

-Yeah, that's right.

-是的，這是正確的。

"You've given us this money, HBO, for a reason.

"你給我們這筆錢，HBO，是有原因的。

We're gonna use it for something else now."

我們現在要用它來做別的事情。"

Is that the definition of fraud?

這就是欺詐的定義嗎？

Seems to be, but let's just assume that charity

好像是的，但我們就假設慈善事業

has happened and not an actual crime.

已經發生，而不是真正的犯罪。

-That's a better way to put it.

-這是一個更好的方式來表達它。

John, we love everything you're doing.

約翰，我們喜歡你所做的一切。

We always -- I personally, I love every single time

我們總是... ... 我個人，我喜歡每一個單一的時間。

you come on, and thank you for being so funny

你來吧，並感謝你這麼好笑

and for doing those shows and just getting us through

併為做這些節目，只是讓我們通過。

the trickiest political times and making us all laugh.

最棘手的政治時期，讓我們都笑了。

Really, it doesn't fall on deaf ears.

真的，不入耳。

-I appreciate it, mate. Thanks. -John Oliver, everybody.

-我很感激，夥計謝謝 -約翰-奧利弗，各位約翰-奧利弗，大家好

"Last Week Tonight with John Oliver"

"上週今晚與約翰-奧利弗"

airs Sundays at 11:00 p.m. on HBO.

每週日晚上11點在HBO播出。