Name: 花了一百年的時間，卻也是漫長的一天 (The Year That Took 100 Years But Was Also Somehow Also One Long Day)
Uploaded: 2021-03-13T18:16:30.000Z
Duration: 9 min 4 s

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

BUT, FOLKS, THIS ISN'T JUST ANY OLD "A LATE SHOW."

但是，夥計們，這不是普通的 "晚間秀"。

TODAY, MARCH 12, MARKS THE ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE

今天，3月12日，是 "中國夢 "的一週年紀念日。

LAST SHOW WE DID IN THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER BEFORE WE

我們在艾德-蘇利文劇院的最後一場演出，然後我們就去了。

STARTED BROADCASTING OUT OF A DISCARDED ALTOID TIN.

從一個廢棄的鋁箔罐裡開始廣播。

AT LEAST IT WOULD MARK THE ANNIVERSARY IF I STILL FOLLOWED

如果我還能跟上的話，至少也是週年紀念了。

WE ALL NOW LIVE IN THE PERPETUAL MONTH OF "SWEATS-TEMBER."

我們現在都生活在 "汗水 -TEMBER "的惡性月份。

TONIGHT, WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT THIS YEAR THAT WE, TOGETHER,

今晚，我們將採取在這一年，我們，一起。

BECAUSE THIS IS "A LATE SHOW'S QUARANNIVERSARY SPECIAL:

因為這是 "晚間秀的四週年特別節目"。

THE YEAR THAT TOOK 100 YEARS BUT WAS ALSO SOMEHOW ONE LONG DAY."

"花了100年的時間，卻也是漫長的一天。"

>> Stephen: SO MUCH HAS CHANGED IN THE PAST YEAR.

>> Stephen: 過去一年發生了很多變化。

LAST FEBRUARY, IF SOMEONE SAID "ZOOM ME," YOU WOULD HAVE SAID,

去年2月，如果有人說 "ZOOM我"，你一定會說：

I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE WE'RE IN A VERY CROWDED BAR!

我聽不到你的聲音，因為我們在一個非常擁擠的酒吧！

HAY, CAN I HAVE A SIP OUT OF YOUR BEER USING MY BARE FACE?"

"嘿，我可以用我的白臉喝一口你的啤酒嗎？"

THIS TIME LAST YEAR, WE SUDDENLY ALL FOUND OURSELVES IN LOCKDOWN,

去年這個時候，我們突然發現自己被鎖住了。

WHICH ALLOWED US TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH OUR FAMILIES--

這讓我們能夠與我們的家人共度美好時光 --

BECAUSE SHORTLY AFTER THIS TIME LAST YEAR, SCHOOLS CLOSED ACROSS

因為去年這個時候後不久，各地的學校就關閉了。

IT STARTED AS KIND OF A "SNOW DAY," THEN BECAME A "SNOW

一開始是 "雪天"，後來變成了 "雪地"。

MONTH," AND FINALLY A "SNO WAY I'M GOING TO MAKE IT UNLESS

一個月"，最後 "我不可能做到，除非

AS WE LEARNED MORE ABOUT THE DISEASE, IT GOT A LITTLE

隨著我們對這種疾病的瞭解越來越多，它也變得越來越多。

FOR EXAMPLE, WE FOUND OUT "YOU CAN BE INFECTED WITH THE VIRUS,

例如，我們發現 "你可以感染病毒。

HAVE NO SYMPTOMS, AND STILL BE CONTAGIOUS."

沒有任何症狀，還能讓人覺得不舒服。"

THAT'S RIGHT: JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE IT, DOESN'T MEAN COVID

這是正確的。只是因為你沒有看到它，並不意味著COVID。

IT'S LIKE TERMITE DAMAGE, OR THE LAST FIVE NICOLAS CAGE MOVIES.

這就像TERMITE DAMAGE，或最後五部NICOLAS CAGE電影。

SO IN APRIL, THE C.D.C. BEGAN RECOMMENDING THAT "PEOPLE WEAR

所以在4月，中紀委開始建議 "人們穿上"。

CLOTH OR FABRIC FACE COVERINGS WHEN ENTERING PUBLIC SPACES,"

進入公共場所時的布面或織物面罩，"

WHICH REPLACED THE WHITE HOUSE'S RECOMMENDATIONS FOR FENDING OFF

其中取代了白宮關於抵禦氣候變化的建議。

COVID: MASSIVE DOSES OF PRESCRIPTION-STRENGTH BEAN.

COVID：大劑量的PRESCRIPTION-STRENGTH BEAN。

BECAUSE IT'S AMERICA, IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE MASK WEARING

因為這裡是美國，戴面具的時間並不長。

APPARENTLY, SPREADING AEROSOLIZED VIRUS IS A CHERISHED

顯然，傳播空氣溶化病毒是一個令人欣喜的。

WHO CAN FORGET PATRICK HENRY'S FAMOUS CRY, "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR

誰能忘記帕特里克-亨利的那句著名的吶喊："給我自由，否則我就不幹了"？

OR SLIP ME SOME TONGUE AND GIVE ME BOTH!"

或者給我來點湯藥，然後給我兩樣！"

AND THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE YEAR, WE COULD ALWAYS LOOK TO ONE

在這一年裡，我們可以一直看著一個人。

MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AS A BEACON OF SCIENCE AND SANITY: OUR GUEST

醫務人員是科學和理性的使者：我們的嘉賓。

TONIGHT, EPIDEMIOLOGIST AND MAN EXPLAINING HOW BACK RUBS CAN

今晚，傳染病學家和男子將解釋脊柱後凸的原因。

BOOST THE IMMUNE SYSTEM, DR. ANTHONY FAUCI.

激發免疫系統，博士。ANTHONY FAUCI.

FAUCI WAS SO POPULAR THAT, BACK IN APRIL, HE BECAME A WRITE-IN

FAUCI是如此受歡迎，以至於4月時，他成為了一個寫進的人。

NOMINEE FOR PEOPLE'S "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE."

被提名為《人民》雜誌 "最性感的男人"

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT A MAN BEGGING YOU TO STAY SIX FEET

一個男人求你停留在六英尺以外的地方，是有道理的。

SHOCKINGLY, THE WINNER TURNED OUT TO BE MICHAEL B. JORDAN,

令人震驚的是，獲勝者竟然是邁克爾-B-喬丹。

WHO, WHILE NOT AN EPIDEMIOLOGIST, HAS BEEN

誰，雖然不是流行病學家，但卻一直在做

PUBLISHED IN THE "NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MAMA LIKE!"

刊載於 "新英格蘭媽媽喜歡的期刊！"

我很高興能和FAUCI博士談談。FAUCI。

WE TRIED TO GET HIM ON THE SHOW ALL LAST YEAR, BUT HE WASN'T

我們去年一直想讓他上節目，但他不上。

THEN AROUND JANUARY 20 HIS SCHEDULE STARTED FREEING UP FOR

大約在1月20日，他的日程表開始自由起來，為的是

BUT BEFORE WE GET TO THE GOOD DOCTOR, I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU

但在我們談及這位好醫生之前，我想告訴你

A LITTLE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE DURING THIS QUARANTINE.

YOU SEE, FOR ME, AND PERHAPS FOR SOME OF YOU, THE PAST 12 MONTHS

你看，對我來說，也許對你們中的一些人來說，過去12個月裡

IT WAS, AS DICKENS WROTE, THE BEST OF TIMES AND THE WORST OF

正如狄更斯所寫，這是最好的時代，也是最壞的時代。

INCIDENTALLY, I'VE BEEN IN QUARANTINE FOR A YEAR, AND

碰巧的是，我已經在昆明呆了一年了，而且...

THAT'S AS MUCH OF THE BOOK THAT I'VE READ.

YOU SEE, IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES BECAUSE WE SAW THE TOLL

你看，這是最糟糕的時代，因為我們看到了收費標準。

THAT THIS PANDEMIC HAD ALL ACROSS AMERICA, WITH PEOPLE

這場大恐慌在全美範圍內發生，與人們一起。

LOSING THEIR LOVED ONES AND THEIR JOBS, AND HAVING TO ADAPT

失去親人和工作，不得不適應。

AND, OF COURSE, THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION REALLY SHANKED

當然，上屆政府還真把我給打了。

IT'S IRONIC THAT THEY DISCOURAGED MASKS, BECAUSE THEY

諷刺的是，他們不鼓勵戴面具，因為他們... ...

SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO SHOW THEIR FACES IN PUBLIC.

應該羞於在公共場合展示自己的臉。

BUT THE PAST YEAR WAS ALSO THE BEST OF TIMES, BECAUSE WHERE OUR

但過去的一年也是最美好的時光，因為我們在哪裡？

LEADERS FAILED, WE SAW AMERICANS STEPPING UP, HELPING EACH OTHER

領導人失敗了，我們看到美國人站出來，互相幫助。

OUT, WORKING TO GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.

AND EVEN THOUGH THIS VIRUS GROUND A LOT OF THINGS TO A

即使這種病毒地基的很多東西，以一個

SCREECHING HALT, IT WAS INSPIRING TO SEE AMERICANS FIGHT

尖叫聲中，看到美國人的戰鬥是令人鼓舞的。

TO MAKE SURE WE STILL MADE PROGRESS, WHETHER IT BE TAKING

確保我們仍然取得了進展，無論它是採取了

TO THE STREETS TO DEMAND AN END TO SYSTEMIC RACISM OR TAKING TO

要求結束系統性的種族主義，或訴諸街頭。

AND LIKE A LOT OF YOU, I HAD BIG PLANS WHEN THE QUARANTINE

和你們很多人一樣，我也有很大的計劃，當崑崙山的時候。

I TOLD MYSELF I WAS GOING TO GET IN SHAPE.

我告訴自己，我要去得到的形狀。

BUT THERE WERE POSITIVE THINGS, TOO, LIKE A FEW MONTHS INTO THE

但也有一些積極的事情，也有，比如幾個月的時間。

QUARANTINE WHEN I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE

QUARANTINE當我終於弄清楚如何製作

I HAD BEEN TRYING FOR MONTHS, BUT I COULDN'T MAKE IT WORK.

我已經試了幾個月了，但我不能讓它工作。

AND THEN, AND THIS IS TRUE, A STRANGER SENT ME A 150-YEAR-OLD

然後，這是真的，一個陌生人給我發了一個150歲的。

IT ARRIVED IN THE MAIL, FROM SOMEBODY I DID NOT KNOW, AND

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花了一百年的時間，卻也是漫長的一天 (The Year That Took 100 Years But Was Also Somehow Also One Long Day)

pandemic

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quarantine