WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

yes, I am wearing my springtime greys, because check your

是的，我穿著我的春天的灰色，因為檢查你的。

calendar -- IF YOU'RE UNFAMILIAR WITH THAT

日曆 -- 如果你對這個不熟悉的話

TERM, IT'S A LIST OF THE MONTHS THAT USED TO MARK THE PASSAGE OF

術語，它是一個列表的月份，用來標記的通行證的

TIME.

時間。

AND TODAY MARKS ONE YEAR SINCE THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION

今天是世界衛生組織成立一週年的日子。

DECLARED COVID-19 A PANDEMIC.

宣佈COVID-19為PANDEMIC。

PRIOR TO THAT, IT WAS ACTUALLY CATEGORIZED AS A LEGUME.

在此之前，它實際上是被歸類為一個樂高。

I THINK WE ALL REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE HEARD THE NEWS,

我想我們都還記得我們聽到新聞時在哪裡。

BECAUSE WE'RE ALL STILL THERE.

因為我們都還在那裡。

OF COURSE, IT'S ALSO THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE FIRST

當然，這也是第一部電影的一週年紀念日。

TIME I LYSOL-ED A BANANA.

時間我LYSOL -ED香蕉。

BUT NOT THE LAST.

但不是最後一個。

NONE OF US IMAGINED THAT THIS WOULD ALL STILL BE GOING ON A

我們都沒有想象到，這一切都還會繼續下去。

YEAR LATER.

一年後。

CASE IN POINT-- I THOUGHT I WAS PESSIMISTIC WHEN I SAID THIS IN

舉個例子--我以為我是悲觀的，當我說這句話的時候，我覺得我是悲觀的。

THE FIRST SHOW WE DID AFTER LEAVING THE THEATER:

我們離開劇院後做的第一場演出。

PEOPLE ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY HAVE HUNKERED DOWN IN THEIR

全國各地的人們都在自己的家裡蹲下了。

HOMES TO RIDE OUT THE CORONAVIRUS.

擺脫冠狀病毒的家園。

THE C.D.C. IS SAYING THIS COULD GO ON FOR THE NEXT EIGHT WEEKS.

C. D. C. 說這一切可能會持續到未來八週。

SO, GET COMFORTABLE.

所以，得到舒適的。

oh, Stephen, now naive you were.

哦，斯蒂芬，現在天真的你。

FIRST, IT WAS GOING TO BE EIGHT WEEKS.

首先，它是要去八週。

THEN EASTER.

然後是復活節。

THEN MEMORIAL DAY.

然後是紀念日。

THEN FOURTH OF JULY.

然後7月4日。

IT'S WORSE THAN WAITING FOR THE CABLE GUY.

這比等有線電視的人還糟糕。

THE C.D.C. SHOULD HAVE JUST ISSUED A STATEMENT, "YOUR

C.D.C.本應直接發表聲明："你的

PANDEMIC WILL END SHORTLY.

PANDEMIC WILL END SHORTLY。

PLEASE BE HOME BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:00 A.M. AND THREE YEARS

請在上午8:00至3年內回家。

FROM NOW."

從現在開始。"

TOMORROW NIGHT, IN HONOR OF OUR YEAR IN CAPTIVITY, WE'RE

明天晚上，為了紀念我們的年度慶典，我們要

PRESENTING "A LATE SHOW'S QUARANNIVERSARY SPECIAL: THE

呈現 "晚間節目四週年特別節目：《我是歌手》"。

YEAR THAT TOOK 100 YEARS BUT WAS ALSO SOMEHOW ONE LONG DAY."

花了100年的時間，但也是某種程度上的一個漫長的一天。"

I'LL BE TAKING A LOOK BACK AT THE PANDEMIC, WITH MY GUEST

我將與我的嘉賓一起回顧潘德米克的歷史。

DR. ANTHONY FAUCI.

Dr. ANTHONY FAUCI.ANTHONY FAUCI博士：

AND THE FAUCETTES.

和FAUCETTES。

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE COMMEMORATING THE PANDEMIC

我不是唯一一個紀念PANDEMIC的人。

ANNIVERSARY.

週年紀念。

TONIGHT, PRESIDENT BIDEN TRIED TO STEAL MY THUNDER BY GIVING

今天晚上，比登總統試圖通過提供

HIS FIRST PRIME-TIME ADDRESS SINCE TAKING OFFICE.

他上任後的第一個主要時間地址。

NOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SPEECH YET, BECAUSE WE TAPED THIS

現在，我還沒看到演講，因為我們錄下了這段話。

BEFORE NOW.

在現在之前。

BUT APPARENTLY THE BIG BOMBSHELL IS THAT THE PRESIDENT WANTS ALL

但顯然，最大的爆炸性新聞是，總統要讓所有的人都有機會得到他的幫助。

ADULT AMERICANS TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR THE VACCINE NO LATER THAN

成年美國人最遲將有資格接種疫苗。

MAY 1.

5月1日：

I JUST WANT TO SAY-- AND I MEAN THIS IN THE MOST HOPEFUL WAY

我只想說... ... 我的意思是，在最有希望的方式。

POSSIBLE-- MAY DAY!

可能的--五月天！

MAY DAY!

五月天！

MAY DAY!

五月天！

BIDEN IS LOOKING BEYOND MAY BECAUSE HE'S ALSO EXPECTED TO

BIDEN正在尋找超越五月，因為他也被期望

SAY, "TOGETHER, WE CAN ALL CELEBRATE A MORE NORMAL FOURTH

說："團結起來，我們都可以慶祝一個更正常的第四節。

OF JULY WITH FAMILIES AND FRIENDS."

"與家人和朋友一起度過的七月"。

YES!

是！

FINALLY, WE CAN ONCE AGAIN GATHER ON THE FOURTH OF JULY TO

終於，我們又可以在7月4日聚集在一起了

SAFELY BLOW OUR FINGERS OFF!

安全地把我們的手指炸掉！

IT REMINDS ME OF THAT FAMOUS SCENE IN INDEPENDENCE DAY.

這讓我想起了《獨立日》中那段著名的場景。

>> WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT!

>> 我們不會安靜地入夜！

WE WILL NOT VANISH WITHOUT A FIGHT!

我們不會不戰而屈人之兵!

WE'RE GOING TO LIVE ON!

我們要活下去！

WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE!

我們要去生存！

TODAY... WE GET A HAIRCUT!

今天...我們去理髮！

>> Stephen: TO GIVE OUT ALL OF THESE SHOTS, BIDEN IS EXPECTED

>> 斯蒂芬：把這些鏡頭全部發出來，比登是有望的。

TO ANNOUNCE THAT DENTISTS AND VETERINARIANS WILL BE ABLE TO

宣佈牙科醫生和獸醫將能夠

ADMINISTER THE VACCINE NOW.

現在就管理疫苗。

THAT'S RIGHT, VETERINARIANS.

對了，獸醫。

THEY'LL HAVE THE PFIZER, THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON, THE MODERNA,

他們會有全氟機、約翰遜和約翰遜、現代機。

AND THE ALPO-ZENECA.

和ALPO-ZENECA。

THE WHITE HOUSE SAID THE SPEECH WOULD BE ROUGHLY 18 MINUTES.

白宮說，演講時間大概是18分鐘。

THAT'S PRETTY PRECISE FOR A "ROUGHLY."

對於一個 "粗糙 "的人來說，這是非常精確的。

WHY NOT JUST SAY "20 MINUTES?" AMERICANS CAN HANDLE AN EXTRA

為什麼不直接說 "20分鐘"？美國人可以處理一個額外的。

TWO MINUTES.

兩分鐘。

WE'RE IN FRONT OF THE TV ANYWAY.

我們是在電視前的任何方式。

WE LIVE THERE NOW.

我們現在住在那裡。

BUT I SUPPOSE IT'S EASY TO BE THAT PRECISE WHEN YOU KNOW THE

但我想，如果你知道這一點，就很容易做到那麼精確。

PRESIDENT IS ACTUALLY GOING TO READ THE SCRIPT AND NOT GO ON

主席實際上是要閱讀經文而不繼續發言。

TANGENTS ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO USE A LOW-FLO TOILET ON A SEX

關於在性生活中使用低流量水龍頭有多難的問題。

BOAT.

船：

AIDES SAID THAT THE SPEECH WOULD PAY TRIBUTE TO THE SACRIFICES

艾德斯說，演講將向聖人致敬。

AMERICANS HAVE MADE DURING THE PANDEMIC, WHILE PREVIEWING A

美國人在 "潘多拉 "事件中所做出的努力，同時也是在審查一項 "新的 "計劃。

COMING RETURN TO SOME SENSE OF NORMALCY.

即將恢復正常的感覺。

SOUNDS NICE, BUT WHAT THE HELL CONSTITUTES NORMALCY?

聽起來不錯，但什麼是地獄構成正常？

EVEN BEFORE COVID, THERE WAS SYSTEMIC RACISM, GLOBAL WARMING,

即使在科維德之前，有系統的種族主義，全球變暖。

HALF OF US HEARD "YANNI," HALF OF US HEARD "LAUREL"!

一半的人聽到 "YANNI"，一半的人聽到 "LAUREL"！

THIS WORLD IS CHAOS!

這個世界是混亂的！

OUR NEW PRESIDENT IS DOING ALL HE CAN TO GET VACCINES INTO AS

我們的新主席正在盡其所能地把疫苗送進醫院。

MANY ARMS AS POSSIBLE.

儘可能多的武器。

AND HE'S GETTING HELP FROM HIS PREDECESSORS WITH THIS NEW

他得到了他的前夫的幫助與這個新的。

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.

公共服務公告：

>> RIGHT NOW, THE COVID-19 VACCINES ARE AVAILABLE TO

>> 現在，COVID-19 疫苗可用於

MILLIONS OF AMERICANS.

數以百萬計的美國人。

AND SOON, THEY WILL BE AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE.

很快，他們將提供給大家。

>> THIS VACCINE MEANS HOPE.

>> 這種疫苗意味著希望。

IT WILL PROTECT YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE FROM THIS DANGEROUS AND

它將保護你和你所愛的人免受危險和危險的影響。

DEADLY DISEASE.

致命的疾病。

>> I WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO MOVE

>> 我想回去工作，我想能動起來。

AROUND.

圍繞著。

>> TO VISIT WITH MICHELLE'S MOM.

>> 和米歇爾的媽媽一起去看望她。

TO HUG HER, SEE HER ON HER BIRTHDAY.

擁抱她，看到她的生日。

>> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IS GOING TO

>> 你知道我最期待的是什麼嗎？

OPENING DAY IN TEXAS RANGERS STADIUM WITH A FULL STADIUM.

開幕式當天，德州遊騎兵體育場內座無虛席。

>> Stephen: THAT'S REALLY LOVELY.

>> 史蒂芬：那真是太可愛了。

I THINK IT'S GREAT THE FORMER PRESIDENTS CAN COME

我覺得前幾任總統能來真是太好了

OUT AND DO THAT AD, BUT KIND OF AN INTERESTING CHOICE FOR "W."

出去做那個廣告，但有點有趣的選擇為 "W"。

"YOU LOSERS.

"你們這些失敗者，

WHO CARES ABOUT WORK OR HUGGING YOUR MOTHER?

誰會在乎工作或抱著你的母親？

I WANT TO GO TO THE BALLGAME, SO I CAN GET A COMPLIMENTARY

我想去看球賽，這樣我就可以得到一個簡單的。

CHILD-SIZE COWBOY HAT FILLED WITH ICE CREAM AND HOT FUDGE.

兒童大小的牛仔帽，裡面裝滿了冰淇淋和熱軟糖。

FIRST, YOU EAT THE ICE CREAM OUT OF THE COWBOY HAT AND YOU GET TO

首先，你要把牛仔帽裡的冰淇淋吃了，然後你就可以走了

TAKE THE COWBOY HAT HOME.

把牛仔帽帶回家。

THEN I'LL PUT MY LITTLE COWBOY HAT ON A BOBBLE-HEAD THAT WILL

然後我就把我的小牛仔帽戴在波波頭上，這樣就可以了。

ACT AS A SCARECROW TO FRIGHTEN OFF MICE WHO TRY TO EAT THE

作為一個SCARECROW嚇唬關閉辦公室誰試圖吃的。

REMAINING HOT FUDGE FROM MY COWBOY HAT.

我的牛仔帽裡還剩下的熱糊糊。

IF I'M AMONG THE FIRST 15,000 IN THE STADIUM, I'LL ALSO GET A

如果我是第一批進場的一萬五千人中的一個，我也會得到一個。

MINIATURE SOUVENIR LOUISVILLE SLUGGER THAT I CAN BOP THE MICE

微型SOUVENIR路易斯維爾吸盤，我可以拍打老鼠。

ON THE HEADS WITH.

在頭與：

IT'S A W.M.D.: WEAPON OF MOUSE DESTRUCTION."

這是一個W. M. D:"老鼠的破壞性武器"

BOP BOP!

BOP BOP！

BOP BOP! I'VE WORKED ON THAT IMPRESSION FOR YEARS.

BOP BOP！ 我已經工作了多年的印象。

BUT THERE'S SOMEONE WE'RE NOT MISSING FROM THIS P.S.A.

但是，有一個人，我們不會錯過從這個P. S. A.

BECAUSE THE AD FEATURES GEORGE W. BUSH, BARACK OBAMA, BILL

因為這則廣告的主角是喬治-W-布什、巴拉克-奧巴馬、比爾。

CLINTON, EVEN JIMMY CARTER.

克林頓，甚至吉米・卡特。

BUT THERE'S NO SIGN OF THE LAST GUY.

但沒有最後一個人的蹤跡。

MAYBE HIS INVITE GOT LOST IN THE MAIL.

也許是他的邀請函丟了吧

BECAUSE HE DESTROYED THE POSTAL SERVICE.

因為他破壞了郵政服務。

OL' 45 WAS LEFT OUT OF THE POTUS P.S.A. PARTY, BUT HE DID PUT OUT

OL'45被排除在總統的P.S.A.派對之外，但他確實推出了。

HIS OWN STATEMENT ABOUT THE VACCINE.

他自己的聲明對疫苗。

"I HOPE THAT EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHEN THEY'RE GETTING THE

"我希望大家都能記住，當他們得到的時候

COVID-19-- OFTEN REFERRED TO AS THE CHINA VIRUS-- VACCINE, THAT

COVID-19 -- 通常被稱為中國病毒 -- 疫苗，該

IF I WASN'T PRESIDENT, YOU WOULDN'T BE GETTING THAT

如果我不是總統，你就不會得到這些東西了

BEAUTIFUL SHOT FOR FIVE YEARS, AT BEST, AND PROBABLY WOULDN'T

最多五年的漂亮鏡頭，而且可能不會

BE GETTING IT AT ALL.

是得到它的所有。

I HOPE EVERYONE REMEMBERS!" FIRST OF ALL, UNBELIEVABLY SAD.

我希望大家都能記住！"首先，令人難以置信的悲傷。

SECOND, ALSO PATHETIC.

第二，也是病態的。

THIRD, HOW DID WE EVEN FIND OUT ABOUT THIS?

第三，我們怎麼會發現這個？

HE CAN'T TWEET THIS STUFF!

他不能推特這個東西！

DID HE JUST PRINT IT OUT AND STAPLE IT TO TELEPHONE POLES

他是不是把它打印出來然後貼在電話杆上？

AROUND PALM BEACH?

在棕櫚灘周圍？

HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE JUST RELEASED "EX-PREZ WILL TAKE

他還不如剛剛發佈的 "EX-PREZ將採取"。

CREDIT... AND TEACH YOU GUITAR!" WE BANNED HIM FROM TWITTER.

信貸...並教你吉他！"我們禁止他在微博上。

CAN WE BAN HIM FROM PAPER?

我們能禁止他做報紙嗎？

IS THAT POSSIBLE?

那是可能的嗎？

ONE CHINESE ENTREPRENEUR IS DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO MAKE

一位中國企業家正在盡其所能使中國的經濟發展更上一層樓。

SURE THE WORLD NEVER FORGETS OUR FORMER PRESIDENT.

確保世界永遠不會忘記我們的前總統。

BECAUSE HE'S SELLING A STATUE OF HIM POSED LIKE THE BUDDHA.

因為他賣的是他的雕像，擺成了菩薩的樣子。

NOW, YOU MIGHT SAY HE'S NOTHING LIKE BUDDHA, BUT AFTER FOUR

現在，你可能會說他不像佛陀，但在四次之後，他就會說："我是一個很好的人。

YEARS, HE DID CONVINCE ME THAT LIFE IS SUFFERING.

幾年來，他讓我相信生活是苦難的。

THE STATUE DEPICTS THE FORMER PRESIDENT, HANDS FOLDED IN HIS

雕像描繪的是前總統雙手合十的樣子。

LAP, THUMBS POINTING OUTWARDS, A POSE FROM BUDDHIST ART THAT

膝，拇指向外指，佛教藝術中的一個姿勢。

SIGNIFIES MEDITATION AND CONTEMPLATION.

意味著冥想和暗示。

WHILE IN REAL LIFE, IT'S A POSE THAT SIGNIFIES, HE'S GOT HIS

雖然在現實生活中，這是一個姿勢，標誌著，他有他的。

HANDS NEAR HIS CROTCH, GET OUT OF THERE!

手靠近他的胸口，離開那裡！

ONE THING THE SCULPTOR DID GET RIGHT IS THE ATTIRE.

雕塑家做對的一件事就是衣服。

OUR FORMER PRESIDENT IS FAMOUS FOR HOW GOOD HE LOOKS IN A ROBE.

我們的前總統因為他穿上羅布衫的樣子而聞名。

TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN SIGNED HIS COVID RELIEF BILL THAT GIVES

今天，比登總統簽署了他的《公民身份證減免法案》，給

MILLIONS OF AMERICANS $1,400 CHECKS, AND ACCORDING TO WHITE

數百萬的美國人1400美元的支票，而根據白人的說法。

HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY JEN PSAKI, PEOPLE COULD START SEEING THAT

眾議院新聞發言人JEN PSAKI,人們可以開始看到。

SWEET CASH VERY SOON.

甜蜜的現金很快。

>> SINCE THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT-- THE DEPARTMENT OF

>> 財政部以來----財政司

TREASURY, AND THE I.R.S. ARE WORKING HARD TO GET RELIEF

財政部和國稅局都在努力尋求救濟

PAYMENTS OUT THE DOOR AS FAST AS POSSIBLE TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE,

儘可能快地向美國人民支付款項。

PEOPLE CAN EXPECT TO START SEEING DIRECT DEPOSITS HIT THEIR

人們可以期待開始看到直接存款進入他們的賬戶。

BANK ACCOUNTS AS EARLY AS THIS WEEKEND.

銀行賬戶最早在本週末。

>> STEPHEN: SO, AMERICANS, DON'T WORRY.

>> 所以，美國人，不要擔心。

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE YOUR BAIL MONEY IN TIME FOR ST. PATRICK'S

你會在聖帕特里克節前拿到保釋金的PATRICK'S

DAY.

天。

THE PLAN IS WILDLY POPULAR, SUPPORTED BY 75% OF AMERICANS.

該計劃非常受歡迎，得到75%的美國人支持。

NOTHING IS POPULAR WITH 75% OF AMERICANS, OTHER THAN MELTED

除了融化的東西，沒有什麼是75%的美國人喜歡的。

CHEESE, TOM HANKS, AND MELTED CHEESE ON TOM HANKS.

奶酪，TOM HANKS，和融化的奶酪在TOM HANKS。

AND THE ENORMOUS POPULARITY OF THIS BILL IS A PROBLEM FOR THE

而這項條例草案的極大受歡迎程度，對香港的經濟發展是個問題。

G.O.P., BECAUSE IT RECEIVED ZERO REPUBLICAN SUPPORT.

G.O.P.，因為它得到了零共和黨的支持。

IT'S THE WORST POLITICAL DECISION SINCE THE WHIGS OPPOSED

這是自WHIGS反對以來最糟糕的政治決定。

THE ICE CREAM AND ORGASMS ACT OF 1824.

《1824年冰淇淋和有機物法》；

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, ALSO ICE CREAM.

我叫，你叫，也是冰淇淋。

BUT JUST BECAUSE YOU FIGHT LIKE HELL TO STOP SOMETHING, DOESN'T

但是，僅僅因為你像地獄一樣的戰鬥，以阻止一些事情，並沒有

MEAN YOU CAN'T TAKE CREDIT FOR IT.

意思是你不能為它取信於人。

JUST ASK MISSISSIPPI SENATOR AND MAN REMEMBERING WHERE HE LEFT

問問密西西比州的參議員和男子，回憶他離開的地方。

HIS TEETH, ROGER WICKER.

他的牙齒，羅格-威克。

HOURS AFTER THE BILL HE OPPOSED PASSED, WICKER TWEETED,

在他反對的法案通過後幾小時，WICKER發了一條微博。

"INDEPENDENT RESTAURANT OPERATORS HAVE WON $28.6 BILLION

"獨立餐飲業經營者贏得286億美元的獎金

WORTH OF TARGETED RELIEF.

價值的目標救濟金。

THIS FUNDING WILL ENSURE SMALL BUSINESSES CAN SURVIVE THE

這筆資金將確保小企業能夠度過這段時期。

PANDEMIC BY HELPING TO ADAPT THEIR OPERATIONS AND KEEP THEIR

PANDEMIC通過幫助適應他們的業務並保持他們的業務。

EMPLOYEES ON THE PAYROLL."

僱員在工資單上。"

WHEN REPORTERS CALLED HIM ON HIS CRAP, WICKER FIRED BACK, "ONE

當記者指責他胡說八道時，WICKER回擊說："有一個。

GOOD PROVISION IN A $1.9 TRILLION BILL DOESN'T MEAN I

190億美元的好規定並不意味著我就能做到

HAVE TO VOTE FOR THE WHOLE THING."

必須為整個事情投票。"

COUNTERPOINT-- YEAH, IT DOES.

反擊... ... 是的，它是。

YOU CAN'T HAVE THE PART OF THE BILL YOU LIKE UNLESS YOU VOTE

除非你投票，否則你不能得到你喜歡的那部分法案。

FOR THE REST OF IT.

對於其餘的。

THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T HEAR THIS AT A WEDDING:

這就是為什麼你不聽這個在婚禮上。

"DO YOU PROMISE TO TAKE THIS WOMAN AS YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED

"你保證會娶這個女人為你的合法妻子嗎?

WIFE?

妻子？

FOR RICHER OR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, TILL

無論貧富，無論病痛，無論健康，直到。

DEATH DO YOU PART?" "UH, I'LL TAKE 'RICHER' AND

死亡讓你們分開？""呃，我將採取'更豐富'和。

'HEALTH,' PLEASE."

'健康'，請。"

FINALLY, IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS, THERE'S A HOT NEW CLIP FROM A

最後，在國際新聞中，有一個熱的新剪輯從一個。

SPORTS BROADCAST ON ESPN COLOMBIA.

體育廣播在ESPN哥倫比亞。

MY FAVORITE OF ALL THE SPORTS CHANNELS I DON'T WATCH.

我最喜歡的所有體育頻道，我不看。

NOW, BEFORE YOU SEE THIS, I NEED TO PREPARE YOU BY INTRODUCING

現在，在你看到這個之前，我需要為你做準備，介紹一下。

OUR BELOVED SEGMENT: "KEEP IN MIND: EVERYONE'S FINE!"

我們親愛的部門。"請記住，EVERYONE'S FINE！"

>> I'M OKAY!

>> 我沒事！

>> STEPHEN: HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED: ON TUESDAY NIGHT, AN

>> 發生了什麼事？週二晚上...

ENTIRE WALL CAME CRASHING DOWN ON JOURNALIST CARLOS ORDUZ

記者卡洛斯-奧杜茲被整堵牆撞倒。

DURING THE SOCCER SHOW "ESPN-FC RADIO."

在足球節目 "ESPN -FC RADIO"。

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU THE FOOTAGE NOW, AND KEEP IN MIND,

我現在要給你看錄像，記住：

EVERYONE'S FINE!

大家都很好！

SO HERE'S THE SHOW.

所以這裡的表演。

JUST SOME REGULAR SOCCER REPORTING, ORDUZ IS ON THE LEFT

只是一些常規的足球報道，奧杜茲在左邊。

THERE, AND, OH MY GOD!

在那裡，而且，我的上帝！

"WALL!" AGAIN, ORDUZ IS FINE.

"牆！" "WALL!" AGAIN, ORDUZ IS FINE.再一次，奧杜茲沒事了 AGAIN, ORDUZ IS FINE.

AND ON THE UPSIDE: HE CAN NOW ENTER ANY ROOM HE WANTS JUST BY

而另一方面，他現在可以進入任何他想進入的房間，只需通過

SLIDING UNDERNEATH THE DOOR.

在門下滑行。

THE BEST PART IS WHAT HAPPENS AFTER ORDUZ GETS HIT.

最精彩的部分是ORDUZ被擊中後發生的事情。

CHECK OUT HOW THE HOST OF THE SHOW REACTS:

看看節目主持人是如何反應的。

( SPEAKING SPANISH ) >> STEPHEN: THAT IS

那是什麼?

PROFESSIONALISM, FOLKS.

專業精神，夥計們。

SOMETHING THAT ALL OF US IN THE INDUSTRY CAN ASPIRE TO.

是我們所有行業人士都渴望的事情。

MARK, CHRIS, IF THE CEILING CAME AND CRUSHED EITHER ONE OF YOU, I

MARK, CHRIS, 如果天花板塌下來砸到你們中的任何一個，我...

WOULDN'T BLINK.

不會眨眼。

LET'S DIG INTO THIS STORY.

讓我們深入瞭解這個故事。

FOR MORE, WE TURN TO MY WRITER FELIPE TORRES MEDINA, WHO IS

更多內容，我們請來了我的作者Felipe TORRES MEDINA，他是...。

ACTUALLY FROM COLOMBIA.

實際上來自哥倫比亞。

HI, FELIPE!

嗨，FELIPE！

>> HI, STEVE!

>> 嗨，史蒂夫！

>> STEPHEN: OKAY, SO, THAT REACTION WAS AMAZING.

>> 好吧，那麼，這個反應太神奇了。

DOES THIS KIND OF THING HAPPEN A LOT IN COLOMBIAN SPORTS

這種事情在哥倫比亞體育界經常發生嗎？

REPORTING?

報告？

>> NO, STEVE.

>> 不，史蒂夫。

BUT ORDUZ-- THE GUY WHO GOT HIT BY THE WALL-- HE KEPT HIS COOL.

但是，奧杜茲... ... 誰打了牆的傢伙 - 他保持冷靜。

HE DIDN'T EVEN CURSE.

他甚至沒有詛咒。

SEE, NORMALLY, WHEN A COLOMBIAN STUBS THEIR TOE OR SOMETHING,

你看，通常情況下，當一個哥倫比亞人踩到自己的腳趾或什麼東西時，

THE REACTION IS "HIJUEPUTA!" WHICH BASICALLY MEANS "SON OF A

反應是 "HIJUEPUTA！"基本上是指 "兒子的"。

WHORE!" BUT ORDUZ SAID, "HIJUEMADRE,"

妓女！"但奧杜茲說，"HIJUEMADRE，"

WHICH MEANS SON OF A MOTHER!

這意味著母親的兒子！