I mean, you know, she's here,

我的意思是，你知道，她在這裡。

she's loud and intolerable sometimes

她有時候很吵，很難受

but I've been trying to just treat her like a friend

但我一直想把她當朋友看待

who's trying to protect me.

誰在試圖保護我。

That's great.

那太好了

I'm glad that you're managing in new ways

我很高興你用新的方式來管理。

because you know,

因為你知道。

the inner critic never goes away completely.

內心的批判從未完全消失。

Ugh. I know. (laughs)

呃，我知道。我知道。（笑）

Why?

為什麼？

(laughs) All right, my dear, same time next week?

(笑)好吧，親愛的，下週同一時間？

Yeah. See you then bye.

好的，再見再見。

Time to work on my script

是時候寫我的劇本了

- Working on your shitty screenplay again I see.

- 我看你又在研究你的低劣劇本了。

- Yep. I am.

- 是的，我是。是的，我是。

It's the first step towards a good screenplay so.

這是邁向好劇本的第一步，所以。

- I wouldn't show that to anyone.

- 我不會給任何人看的。

- Oh, I won't.

- 哦，我不會的。

It's just for fun and to study my craft.

只是為了好玩，為了研究我的手藝。

- It sounds like a waste of time,

- 這聽起來像是在浪費時間。

time that could be spent being productive.

可以用來生產的時間。

- Well, if it takes 10,000 hours to get good at something

- 如果要花一萬個小時才能做好一件事的話

then this one hour I'm spending gets me closer to my goal

那我花的這一個小時就能讓我更接近我的目標。

which is undeniably and objectively,

這是不可否認的，也是客觀存在的。

your definition of productive.

你對生產的定義。

- You're being really annoying.

- 你真的很煩人。

- Reframe, I'm persistent.

- 重新定格，我很執著。

- Is this chipper attitude

- 這是氣派的態度嗎？

because you watched Ted Lasso?

因為你看了Ted Lasso?

- Oh my God.

- 哦，我的上帝。

Probably.

也許吧

Oh, what a good show.

哦，多好的節目啊。

I loved it.

我喜歡它

- Oh, I bet.

- 哦，我打賭。

You spent what?

你花了什麼？

Eight hours staring at a screen.

八小時盯著螢幕。

- Eight hours staring at a screen learning lessons

- 八小時盯著螢幕學課

I'm integrating into my screenplay.

我正在融入我的劇本中。

(Cries)

（哭聲）

Hey.

嘿嘿

What's wrong?

怎麼了？

- Why are you doing this?

- 你為什麼要這麼做？

- Doing what?

- 做什麼？

- Don't you understand?

- 你還不明白嗎？

This is my job.

這是我的工作。

You think I like being this,

你以為我喜歡這樣嗎？

this hideous pessimist?

這個可怕的悲觀主義者？

- Reframe, cute realist.

- 折幀，可愛的現實主義者。

- Stop it.

- 別這樣

- I have one job,

- 我有一份工作。

one job.

一份工作。

And you're taking it away from me.

而你卻把它從我這裡拿走了。

- Melissa, I'm sorry.

- 梅麗莎，我很抱歉。

Okay?

好嗎？

But you exist because at one point in the past I needed you

但你的存在是因為在過去的某一時刻我需要你。

and I don't anymore.

而我不再是了。

- I still am a great coping mechanism.

- 我依然是一個偉大的應對機制。

- Look, I appreciate everything you've done for me

- 聽著，我很感激你為我做的一切。

but the old way, it's just not working.

但老辦法，就是行不通。

Okay, I'm not just surviving,

好吧，我不只是生存。

I'm thriving and I need you to adapt and change with me.

我在茁壯成長，我需要你和我一起適應和改變。

- Okay.

- 好吧，我知道了

How?

怎麼說？

- When I'm being creative, right?

- 當我有創意的時候，對吧？

Just, just give me some space to like be

只是，只是給我一些空間，喜歡是

in the flow and try new things and take risks

順勢而為，敢闖敢試

and if it's bad.

如果它是壞的。

- Oh, it's so much worse than bad.

- 哦，這比壞事還壞。

Your writing is terrible.

你的文筆太差了

- Then, that's okay.

- 那就好了

We can work together to make it better after.

我們可以一起努力，讓它變得更好後。

But you know, when you show up

但你知道，當你出現的時候

and you like breathe down my neck

你就像在我脖子上呼吸

when I'm trying to crank out a first draft,

當我想寫出一個初稿的時候。

it's not helpful.

沒用的

- Okay.

- 好吧，我知道了

I can, I can try to do that.

我可以，我可以試著去做。

What else?

還有什麼？

- Well, when I'm looking at my body in the mirror.

- 好吧，當我在鏡子裡看我的身體時，

- Oh, you definitely gained weight.

- 哦，你肯定是胖了。

Your arms are so muscular.

你的手臂肌肉很發達

Your quads are huge.

你的四頭肌真大

I mean, that looks dumpy as hell on short girls,

我是說，矮個子的女孩穿上這身衣服就顯得很矮。

your face is really fat too.

你的臉也很胖

God, no wonder you're single.

天啊，難怪你是單身。

I mean, if you don't have thigh gap

我的意思是，如果你沒有大腿的差距，

who the fuck are you?

你他媽的是誰？

But that's our morning routine.

但這就是我們的晨練程序。

- It's not my favorite way to start the day.

- 這不是我最喜歡的開始一天的方式。

- What do you want me to say?

- 你想讓我說什麼？

That your body is fine?

你的身體很好？

That you've been fed unrealistic beauty standards

你被灌輸了不切實際的美麗標準。

and morphed images that have skewed what you view as healthy

和變形的影像，已經歪曲了你認為健康的東西

and beautiful.

和美麗。

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

Yeah, that would be really nice to hear in morning.

是啊，這將是非常好的 聽到在早晨。

- Okay. I, I guess I can do that.

- 好吧，我，我想我可以做到這一點。

- Thank you.

- 謝謝你了

I really appreciate it.

我真的很感激。

I do.

我是這麼想的

- Can I still call you stupid?

- 我還能說你傻嗎？

- I would like it if you did not.

- 如果你不這樣做，我會喜歡它。

- Does Becky, still get to call you fat?

- 貝琪，還能叫你胖子嗎？

- Hey, you fat bitch.

- 嘿，你這個胖婊子。

Just a reminder that your worth is in your fuck ability

只是提醒你，你的價值在於你的性交能力。

and you are a hideous troll, babe.

你是一個可怕的巨魔，寶貝。

- Actually, I have to have the same talk with Becky.

- 其實，我也要和Becky談談。

You guys have a lot of overlap

你們有很多重疊的地方

but don't tell her this,

但不要告訴她這個。

I'm going to evict her.

我要把她趕走。

I mean, body dysmorphia didn't serve me then,

我的意思是，身體變形症沒有服務於我，然後。

doesn't serve me now, but it just,

現在不為我所用，但它只是。

it gave me such a sense of control, I don't know.

它給了我這樣一種控制感，我不知道。

- Becky's leaving?

- 貝琪要走了？

I just, I feel like everything's changing.

我只是，我覺得一切都在改變。

- Yeah. Things are changing, but change is good.

- 是啊，事情在變化，但變化是好事。事情正在改變，但改變是好事。

You know, being called a dumb, stupid bitch, okay

你知道，被人叫成一個愚蠢的，愚蠢的婊子，好嗎？

it's just not what I need to hear anymore.

它只是沒有什麼 我需要聽到了。

It's also, it's it's a little redundant.

這也是，這也是有點多餘的。

- Yeah, I guess it is.

- 是的，我想是的。

What if I called you a dumb, ugly bitch instead?

如果我罵你是個又蠢又醜的婊子呢？

- No, I'm okay.

- 不，我很好。

- Are you sure?

- 你確定嗎？

That always used to make you work harder?

以前總是讓你更加努力？

You're so motivated by worthlessness.

你的動機是無價值的。

- I was, but I'm changing that

- 我曾經是，但我正在改變

and I would love it if my inner critic could change with me.

如果我內心的評論家能和我一起改變，我會很高興。

(girl screams)

（女孩尖叫聲）

Oh my God.

哦，我的上帝。

Who is supposed to be watching my inner child?

誰應該看著我的內心的孩子？

- I think Becky was.

- 我想貝琪是。

- Oh my God.

- 哦，我的上帝。

You left a child with Becky?

你把孩子留給了貝琪？

I'm going to be so damaged.

我將會受到很大的傷害。

Becky.

貝琪

I'm Anna Akana and thank you to the Patreons

我是安娜-阿卡納，感謝各位贊助人的支持。

who supported this video

誰支持這個視頻

and thank you to Audible for sponsoring today's episode.

並感謝Audible贊助今天的節目。

You can visit audible.com/anna

您可以訪問audible.com/anna

or text A-N-N-A to 500-500 with a 30 day free trial,

或發短信A-N-N-A到500-500，免費試用30天。

you can get one audio book credit every month

您可以每月獲得一個有聲讀物積分

good for any title in the entire premium selection

適用於所有溢價選擇中的任何標題

of bestsellers, new releases, regardless of price,

的暢銷書、新書，無論價格。

to keep forever.

要永遠保存。

You also get full access to the plus catalog

您還可以完全訪問plus目錄

and can listen to thousands of included titles.

並可收聽上千種收錄的標題。

I just listened to Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

我剛剛聽了布蘭妮-布朗的《大冒險》。

and it was very heartwarming.

並且非常溫馨。

You know, I think Brene has so many amazing insights

你知道，我認為布倫有這麼多驚人的洞察力。

about vulnerability and courage

脆弱和勇氣

and how we can show up and be more authentically

以及我們如何才能更真實地出現在我們面前

and bravely ourselves.

並勇敢地自己。

She is my favorite shame researcher, for sure.

她是我最喜歡的恥辱研究者，當然。

You can listen to Daring Greatly and more

您可以收聽《大刀闊斧》和更多的內容。

by going to audible.com/anna or texting A-N-N-A to 500- 500.

通過訪問audible.com/anna或發短信A-N-N-A到500- 500。

Bye.

掰掰