"The Tonight Show," everybody.

"今夜秀"，各位。

Thank you so much for watching. Thanks for being here.

謝謝你這麼多的觀看。謝謝你來這裡。

Well, guys, everyone is still talking about

好了，夥計們，大家還在談論

Oprah's special with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

奧普拉與哈里王子和梅根-馬克爾的特輯。

And today, Buckingham Palace

而今天，白金漢宮

finally responded with a statement.

終於在聲明中做出了迴應。

Listen to this.

聽聽這個。

-"The whole family is saddened to learn

-"全家人都很悲痛地得知。

the full extent of how challenging the last few years

過去幾年的挑戰有多大？

have been for Harry and Meghan.

一直為哈里和梅根。

The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning.

所提出的問題，特別是種族問題，令人擔憂。

While some recollections may vary,

雖然有些回憶可能有所不同。

they are taken very seriously and will be addressed

認真對待，並將予以處理

by the family privately."

由家庭私下裡"。

-Just to be clear, the news anchor didn't see

-我想說的是，新聞主播沒有看到...

the note up top that said, "Read through gritted teeth."

上面的紙條上寫著 "咬牙讀完"。

For those who aren't fluent in "palace-speak,"

對於那些不懂 "宮廷語 "的人來說。

they're basically saying, "We're sorry you feel this way."

他們基本上是說， "我們很抱歉你有這樣的感覺。"

The statement would have sounded more sincere

這句話聽起來會更有誠意

if they didn't end it with, "So...we good?

如果他們不以 "那麼......我們好嗎？"作為結尾的話。

Okay. Alright, we're going to split, so we're good.

好吧 好吧，我們分頭行動，所以我們很好好吧，我們要分開，所以我們很好。

It's cool."

這很酷。"

Meanwhile, CBS is begging Oprah to do another two-hour special

同時，CBS正在求奧普拉再做一個兩小時的特別節目。

on Harry and Meghan's response to the response.

於哈里和梅根的迴應。

So that's interesting.

所以這很有趣。

Yeah, if Buckingham Palace is just learning

是啊，如果白金漢宮只是在學習的話

the full extent of Harry and Meghan's feelings now,

哈里和梅根的感情的全部內容了。

wait until they find out what's

等到他們發現

been going on with Prince Andrew.

一直在和安德魯王子交往。

And in "making the story all about you" news,

而在 "把故事變成你的全部 "的新聞中。

Piers Morgan, who faced backlash over harsh comments

皮爾斯-摩根，他因嚴厲的評論而面臨反擊。

about Harry and Meghan,

關於哈里和梅根。

will depart his show, "Good Morning Britain."

將離開他的節目，"早安英國"。

I think it was time.

我想是時候了。

Take a look at how his last day went.

看看他最後一天是怎麼過的。

-You don't like Meghan Markle.

你不喜歡梅根-馬克爾。

You've made it so clear a number of times on this program.

你在這個節目中已經說得很清楚了。

A number of times. You continue to trash her.

多次。你繼續砸她。

-Okay, I'm done with this. -No, no, no.

-好吧，我不幹了。-不，不，不

-Sorry. No. -Oh, do you know what??

對不起 - 不 - 哦，你知道嗎？不 哦，你知道嗎？

-Sorry. You can track her maybe, not my --

-抱歉，你可以跟蹤她，但不能跟蹤我的...你可以跟蹤她，也許，不是我的...

-No, no, no. -See you later.

-不，不，不 再見。

-I'm being -- -Sorry, can't do this.

-對不起，我不能這樣做。

-This is absolutely diabolical behavior.

-這絕對是邪惡的行為。

-That's real? -Yep.

-那是真的嗎？-是的

Piers quit while the rest of the anchors were like,

皮爾斯不幹了，而其他主播卻像。

"No, wait, stop."

"不，等等，停下。"

I like how the desk is so big

我喜歡這個桌子這麼大

that his walkout took like 15 seconds.

他的出局花了像15秒。

[ British accent ] "Sorry. Sorry about that.

[英國口音] "對不起。對不起。

Nope, sorry. Can't do it. I just -- Sorry.

不，對不起。不能這樣做。 我只是...我只是... 對不起。

I just -- Wait.

我只是...

Wait a moment till I catch my breath.

等一下，直到我喘口氣。

Alright, sorry. Here we go.

好吧，對不起。在這裡，我們去。

Absolutely. No, can't do it."

絕對是這樣的。不，不能這樣做。"

[ Normal voice ] That's right -- after months of criticizing

是的 -- 經過幾個月的責備之後

Meghan Markle for making an emotional exit,

梅根-馬克爾因為做出了情緒化的退出。

Piers stormed off stage in an emotional exit.

皮爾斯情緒激動地衝下臺去。

That's right -- Piers is leaving,

沒錯... 皮爾斯要走了 That's right... Piers is leaving,

and he asked to be taken in by Tyler Perry

他要求被泰勒-佩裡收留了。

and given full security.

並給予充分保障。

That's right -- everybody's still talking about

這是正確的... ... 每個人都還在談論。

the Harry and Meghan special, but in the U.K.,

哈里和梅根的特殊，但在英國。

people were shocked by something else during the interview.

人們在採訪過程中被其他的東西震驚了。

Watch this.

看這個。

-Viewers in Britain apparently shocked at the amount of

-英國的觀眾顯然對這一數量感到震驚。

drug commercials on American TV.

美國電視上的藥品廣告。

In England, it's illegal to advertise prescription drugs.

在英國，為處方藥做廣告是違法的。

-One British viewer posting, "Help.

-一位英國觀眾發帖說："幫。

Why are all American ads about medicines?"

為什麼美國的廣告都是關於藥品的？"

-And another wrote, "I can't understand why

-另一個人寫道："我不明白，為什麼？

American TV ads are like, 'Ask your doctor for...'

美國的電視廣告就像 "問你的醫生......

Why would you be the one to tell a doctor

你為什麼要告訴醫生？

what medicine to give you?"

給你吃什麼藥？"

-When they heard, Americans were like,

-當他們聽到時，美國人就像。

"Oh, if you have a problem with that,

"哦，如果你有意見的話。

ask your doctor about Adoravan."

問你的醫生關於阿多拉萬的事。"

In our defense, half our commercials are

在我們的防守，我們的廣告有一半是

for fast food and soda, so it makes sense

快餐和蘇打水，所以這是有道理的。

the other half are for medicine.

另一半是用於醫藥。

Americans are so used to these commercials,

美國人已經習慣了這些廣告。

we use the list of drug side effects

我們用藥物副作用列表

as a white-noise machine at night.

作為夜間的白噪音機器。

It's like, "May cause abdominal cramps, enflamed retinas,

就像 "可能會引起腹部絞痛、視網膜發炎。

nosebleeds, soreness of..."

流鼻血，疼痛的..."

[ Snoring ]

[打鼾]

Meanwhile, every member of the royal family is like,

同時，每一個王室成員都像。

"Actually, that Xanax sounds pretty good right now."

"其實，那個Xanax現在聽起來很不錯。"

But Buckingham Palace isn't the only place

但白金漢宮並不是唯一的地方。

dealing with a major scandal.

處理重大丑聞。

Listen to what's going on at The White House right now.

聽聽現在白宮發生了什麼。

-President Biden's two German shepherds are back in Delaware.

-拜登總統的兩隻德國牧羊犬回到了特拉華州。

Sources tell CNN the dogs were removed from The White House

消息人士告訴CNN，這些狗被從白宮帶走了

yesterday after a biting incident involving

昨日發生了一起咬人事件，涉及

a member of the security team.

安全小組的成員；

-Okay.

-好吧

Now, these are the types of Washington scandals I've missed.

現在，這些都是我錯過的華盛頓醜聞的類型。

There you go.

這就對了

Dog.

犬。

Apparently, Major was jumping, barking, and charging at people.

顯然，少校在跳，在叫，在向人衝鋒。

Wow. You'd think after the last four years,

哇，你會覺得在過去的四年裡，你會覺得在過去的四年裡。

The White House staff would be used to that.

白宮的工作人員會習慣的。

Yep, the biting incident came out of nowhere.

沒錯，咬人事件是突然發生的。

I mean, who knew a 90-pound German attack dog

我是說，誰會知道一隻90磅重的德國攻擊犬？

would present a danger?

會帶來危險？

When Major heard he was going back to Delaware,

當少校聽說他要回特拉華的時候。

he was like, "No, please, a kennel, the pound,

他很喜歡，"不，請，狗窩，狗場。

anything, just not Delaware."

任何東西，只是不特拉華州。"

Yep, Major and Champ have left The White House,

是的 少校和鐵冠已經離開白宮了。

and Sunday night, they're sitting down with Oprah

週日晚上，他們和奧普拉坐在一起。

to discuss where it all went wrong.

來討論哪裡出了問題。

Major really must have messed up,

少校真的要亂了陣腳。

because look at what was spotted

因為你看我們發現了什麼

outside The White House earlier today.

今天早些時候，在白宮外。

This is real. Can we zoom in? Look at that.

這是真實的。我們可以放大嗎？看那個。

Rudy Giuliani was like, "Hey, that's my old bed."

魯迪-朱利安尼就像，"嘿，那是我的老床。"

Then Dr. Fauci was like, "What? That's my old bed."

然後Fauci醫生就說，"什麼？那是我的舊床"

Then Eric and Don Jr. were like, "No, that's our old bed."

然後埃裡克和小唐就說："不，那是我們的舊床。"

Some entertainment news.

一些娛樂新聞。

Yesterday, "Zack Snyder's Justice League"

昨天，"扎克-斯奈德的正義聯盟"

leaked on HBO Max for about an hour

在HBO Max上洩露了一個小時的資訊

and played when people tried to watch "Tom and Jerry."

並在人們想看 "湯姆和傑瑞 "時播放。

They fixed the problem, but if you missed it,

他們修復了這個問題，但如果你錯過了。

we have a special sneak peek of the film.

我們有一個特別的偷拍的電影。

Take a look.

看看吧

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman? ♪

-如果我瘋了，你還會叫我超人嗎？

♪♪

♪♪

-Not what I expected, but...

-跟我想象的不一樣，但是...

This is cool.

這是很酷的。

Over in Japan, they're about to open

在日本，他們就要開張了。

the new Super Nintendo World theme park.

新的超級任天堂世界主題公園。

The park was supposed to open last year,

該公園本應在去年開放。

but construction got delayed

遲遲不開工

when the plumbers kept getting high on mushrooms.

當水管工一直在嗑蘑菇的時候。

It looks amazing.

它看起來很神奇。

They have a real-life Bowser's Castle,

他們有一個現實生活中的鮑瑟城堡。

and every day, Princess Peach escapes

桃子公主每天都在逃亡

and then does a prime-time interview with Oprah.

然後在黃金時間接受奧普拉的採訪。

And, finally, speaking of video games,

最後，說到電子遊戲。

I read that Sony wants to develop a new gaming technology.

我讀到索尼想開發一種新的遊戲技術。

Listen to this.

聽聽這個。

-Sony has reportedly filed a patent to turn food products,

-據報道，索尼已經申請了一項專利，將食品。

like bananas and other household items,

如香蕉和其他生活用品。

into PlayStation controllers.

成PlayStation控制器。

The goal is to use a camera to map out

我們的目標是用攝影機來繪製地圖。

virtual buttons on any object.

任何對象上的虛擬按鈕。

-It's going to be weird when your friend is like,

-這將是奇怪的，當你的朋友是這樣的，

"Yeah, I'll meet up with you after school.

"好啊，放學後我和你見面。

I just got to go home first and play with my banana."

我只是要先回家玩我的香蕉。"