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自動翻譯
  • You know what?

    你知道嗎?

  • It was like the perfect storm.

    這就像一場完美的風暴。

  • I answered the call.

    我接了電話。

  • I played around, I had fun.

    我玩了一圈,我很開心。

  • I didn't take life too serious.

    我沒有把生活看得太重。

  • And it turned into this really fun joke that touches

    它變成了這個非常有趣的笑話,觸及到了

  • with a lot of people

    人多勢眾

  • because everyone's gotten a wrong number.

    因為每個人都得到了一個錯誤的數字。

  • And so I'm yes, I'm always flattered.

    所以我是的,我總是受寵若驚。

  • Do I think I'm the greatest community in the world?

    我覺得我是世界上最偉大的社會嗎?

  • Hell no, but do I love that it's a really solid joke

    地獄沒有,但我喜歡它是一個非常可靠的笑話。

  • and could be one of the greatest jokes ever told?

    而且可能是有史以來最偉大的笑話之一?

  • Yeah, bro.

    是啊,兄弟。

  • (upbeat music)

    (歡快的音樂)

  • [Buck] A lot of work goes into a short,

    一個短片要做很多工作

  • late night stand up set.

    深夜站立套。

  • Join me, JP Buck as I spotlight the comedians who came

    和我一起,JP Buck,我將聚焦那些來過的喜劇演員。

  • up with some of my favorite Conan sets.

    了一些我最喜歡的柯南套裝。

  • This is The Setup.

    這就是設置。

  • [Conan] Please welcome back to the show.

    請歡迎回到節目中來。

  • The very funny Jay Larson.

    非常有趣的傑伊-拉森。

  • (upbeat music)

    (歡快的音樂)

  • You know, I've worked with late-night bookers

    你知道,我和深夜訂票的人合作過。

  • on Craig Ferguson and on Carson Daily.

    在克雷格-弗格森和《卡森日報》上。

  • And the whole thing has always been

    而整個事情一直是

  • it has to be quick jokes

    必須是快速的笑話

  • in case someone tunes in and they see the set.

    以防有人調入,他們看到集。

  • You could never do a long story.

    你永遠做不了長篇小說。

  • Do you remember how long we tried to get this set

    你還記得我們花了多長時間才弄到這套房子嗎?

  • to a time that worked

    運作的時代

  • you were going to take a chance and we couldn't do it?

    你要冒險,我們卻做不到?

  • And then finally you were like, "Let's do it."

    最後你說:"我們開始吧。"

  • And every comedian comes to me all the time and they're

    每個喜劇演員都會來找我,他們是

  • like, "One of the greatest sets of all time on late night."

    像,"最偉大的套路之一 有史以來在深夜。"

  • And I'm like, "I know" and doing a story,

    我想,"我知道",做一個故事。

  • remember we tried it the second time it didn't go as well.

    記得我們試過第二次,它沒有去那麼好。

  • For an audience that's in the room,

    對於在座的觀眾來說。

  • if they don't get on board right away

    如果他們不馬上加入進來

  • you're not going to get them later.

    你不會得到他們以後。

  • And I hadn't even thought of that.

    而我甚至沒有想到這一點。

  • Never once did that cross my mind, you know

    我從來沒有想過這個問題,你知道嗎?

  • the first time it crossed my mind, Kumail said to me,

    第一次想到這個問題的時候,庫邁爾對我說。

  • he goes, "Man, that Conan said", and I'm like,

    他說,"夥計,柯南說",我想,

  • "Oh thanks man."

    "哦,謝謝老兄。"

  • He goes, "Did you, what would you have done

    他走了,"你,你會做什麼?

  • if two minutes in they hadn't like got on board?"

    如果兩分鐘後他們還沒有上船?"

  • And I was like, "Dude, I never even thought of it."

    我當時想,"哥們,我從來沒有想過這個問題。"

  • Like I just never thought of it

    就像我從沒想過一樣

  • because I love that story so much that like

    因為我太喜歡這個故事了

  • I'm not saying it's never not worked,

    我不是說它從來就沒有用過。

  • but like it's never not worked.

    但就像它從來沒有不工作。

  • When you sent it to me,

    當你寄給我的時候

  • it was timing out at about six and a half minutes.

    在六分半鐘的時候,它就開始計時了。

  • Maybe longer at that early stage.

    也許在那個早期階段會更長。

  • I mean, every late nights that I did

    我的意思是,每一個深夜,我做

  • before this one was like 4:20, 4:30.

    在這之前,這個是像4: 20,4: 30。

  • And for your audience, like

    而對於你的觀眾來說,比如

  • you gotta be exactly... We're on TV.

    你得完全...我們在電視上。

  • This isn't like at a club where they're like

    這不像是在俱樂部,他們就像...

  • "let's go" and they're flashing the light.

    "我們走吧",他們在閃燈。

  • It's like, you got to get off.

    這就像,你得下車。

  • If you go long, we're going to have to cut

    如果你做長線,我們將不得不削減。

  • something out and they're going to watch this

    東西出來,他們要看這個。

  • set finish and it's not going to make any sense.

    定完成,就不會有任何意義。

  • Yeah or you're going to have to ask Conan

    是啊,不然你就得去問柯南了。

  • to cut from his monologue and plots.

    以從他的獨白和情節中切。

  • (upbeat music)

    (歡快的音樂)

  • I have a question.

    我有個問題

  • Your cell phone rings and you don't recognize the number.

    你的手機響了,但你不認識這個號碼。

  • What do you do?

    你是做什麼的?

  • [Man] Ignore it.

    [男人]忽略它。

  • Ignore it.

    忽略它。

  • Don't answer it.

    不要回答它。

  • Not me.

    不是我

  • I like life.

    我喜歡生活

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • The other day.

    前幾天。

  • My cell phone rang 917.

    我的手機響了917。

  • That's in New York number.

    這是在紐約的號碼。

  • I didn't know it who it was.

    我不知道它是誰。

  • I messed up my words there.

    我把我的話說得亂七八糟。

  • You can tell I'm a little nervous.

    你可以看出我有點緊張。

  • I say, all right, nine one seven.

    我說,好吧,九一七。

  • I'm basically I'm saying, I didn't know who it was.

    我基本上我是說,我不知道是誰。

  • So right then and there, like I'm like ,

    所以,就在那時,就像我一樣。

  • "Just get past it," just cause if you know JP

    "就這樣過去吧",因為如果你認識JP的話

  • as a booker and as a standup, you can stand

    作為一個預訂者和一個站立者,你可以站在。

  • in the back of the room, watch a comic, do a joke, you know.

    在後面的房間,看相聲,做一個笑話,你知道。

  • And you can see the tiniest miss

    你可以看到最微小的失誤

  • just the tiniest little word

    一字之差

  • that no one in the room will notice

    泯然眾人矣

  • but you will see the laugh at the end of that joke.

    但你會看到這個笑話最後的笑點。

  • Not hit as hard.

    打得沒那麼重。

  • This is the story.

    這就是故事。

  • So I can recover.

    所以我可以恢復。

  • But that was like, I was a little nervous, you know?

    但那就像,我是一個有點緊張,你知道嗎?

  • I picked it up anyway, hit talk.

    我還是接了過來,打了個電話。

  • I said, "Hello", guy in line goes,

    我說:"你好",排隊的人走了。

  • "Hey Bruce, what's going on?"

    "嘿,布魯斯,這是怎麼回事?"

  • My name's Jay, not Bruce.

    我叫傑,不是布魯斯

  • So I said, nothing much, man.

    所以我說,沒什麼,夥計。

  • What's going on with you?

    你怎麼了?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • And he said, "I'll tell you what's going on.

    他說:"我告訴你是怎麼回事。

  • I just got an email about the budget it's supposed to

    我剛剛收到一封關於預算的郵件,它應該是。

  • be 15,000.

    是15,000。

  • Now it's 10,000.

    現在是一萬。

  • And I'd like to know what's up."

    而且我想知道是怎麼回事。"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • I got excited in my chest.

    我胸中激動不已。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • I grabbed the steering wheel.

    我抓住了方向盤。

  • I was like, okay, focus, your name is Bruce.

    我當時想,好吧,重點,你的名字是布魯斯。

  • There's a budget, it was 15,000.

    有預算,是15000元。

  • Now it's 10,000.

    現在是一萬。

  • No, one's happy about it.

    不,有一個人很高興。

  • That's all we know.

    這就是我們所知道的一切。

  • That's all we know.

    這就是我們所知道的一切。

  • When I go, "My name's Jay, not Bruce", is like

    當我走的時候,"我叫傑伊,不叫布魯斯",就像。

  • the audience is a little bit like, "All right

    觀眾有點像,"好吧。

  • what's going to happen."

    會發生什麼。"

  • Like what's, I can feel it.

    像什麼的,我能感覺到。

  • And I always know where they are.

    而我總是知道他們在哪裡。

  • And that's what I love

    這也是我喜歡的原因

  • about stand up is you're like, "Just hold, I got you."

    關於站立是你喜歡, "只要保持,我給你。"

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • And like right here at this moment

    就像此時此刻

  • everyone swarms in when you grab the steering wheel.

    當你抓住方向盤的時候,所有人都蜂擁而至。

  • So I just repeated back to him what he said

    所以我就把他說的話複述給他聽。

  • to me and I go, "10,000 is supposed to be 15,000."

    對我來說,我走了, "10,000應該是15,000。"

  • He goes, "Yeah, I know.

    他說:"是的,我知道。

  • Well, I just got an email and now it's 10."

    嗯,我剛剛收到一封郵件,現在是10。"

  • I go, "Listen, man.

    我說:"聽著,夥計。

  • I don't know what to tell you.

    我不知道該怎麼跟你說。

  • I've been on the road all day.

    我整天都在路上。

  • You know, I haven't even seen it."

    你知道的,我還沒看過呢。"

  • And he goes, "Did you send this out?"

    他說:"這是你送出去的嗎?"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Give him some attitude you're Bruce.

    給他一些態度,你是布魯斯。

  • I didn't like it.

    我不喜歡它。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • That's like my favorite thing in the whole joke.

    這就像我最喜歡的事情 在整個笑話。

  • It's like I didn't even like the way he talks to Bruce.

    就像我根本不喜歡他和布魯斯說話的方式。

  • Like I'm stepping up for Bruce.

    就像我在替布魯斯出頭一樣。

  • I said, "Listen, man, the budget was 15,000.

    我說:"聽著,夥計,預算是15000。

  • We had a couple extra expenditures.

    我們有幾筆額外的支出。

  • It went up to 16,2 I reworked it

    漲到16,2了,我又重新做了一遍。

  • got it down to 14,7 I had 300 to play with.

    把它降到了14,7,我有300個玩。

  • So I called it 15 and I sent it out."

    所以我叫它15號,我就發了。"

  • And he goes, "Yeah, well now it's 10 man."

    然後他說,"是啊,現在是10個人了。"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • And I was like, "Oh my God, that worked,

    我當時想,"哦,我的上帝,這工作。

  • that worked phase one, complete phase one complete."

    奏效的第一階段,完成第一階段的完整。"

  • like now I'm in the door.

    就像現在我在門裡。

  • I have a 401k.

    我有一個401k。

  • I was at the Christmas party, okay?

    我是在聖誕派對上,好嗎?

  • That's one of my favorite lines.

    這是我最喜歡的一句話。

  • Which one?

    哪一個?

  • I've been at the Christmas party.

    我一直在聖誕派對上。

  • That's a Sickler, that's Sickler.

    那是一個Sickler,那是Sickler。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Standup is such an individual thing.

    斯坦德是這樣一個個體的東西。

  • It's you alone.

    是你一個人。

  • But in comedy clubs, when you get off stage

    但在喜劇俱樂部裡,當你下臺的時候

  • it's hanging out with other comics and you're getting ideas.

    它的掛出與其他漫畫,你得到的想法。

  • And that was one of them.

    而這就是其中之一。

  • It used to be like,

    以前是這樣的。

  • "I had a 401k", 'cause this didn't happen in the call.

    "我有一個401K",因為這並沒有發生在電話中。

  • This is everything afterwards.

    這是後的一切。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • I think in the longer version I go

    我想在較長的版本中,我去

  • like, "I was at the Christmas party", like,

    像,"我是在聖誕派對",喜歡。

  • "Yeah I got a little tipsy and stole a toy for Todd."

    "是啊,我有點醉了,給託德偷了個玩具。"

  • You know, something like along those lines

    你知道,類似這樣的事情

  • that just was like, it doesn't matter.

    這只是喜歡,它並不重要。

  • But it's fun, yeah.

    但它的樂趣,是的。

  • So he goes, "Did Larry, okay, this?"

    所以他說:"拉里,好嗎,這個?"

  • I go, "Listen, man, I took the budget to Larry.

    我說:"聽著,夥計,我把預算拿給拉里了。

  • Larry said it looked fine, but I knew it was my ass

    拉里說它看起來很好,但我知道這是我的屁股。

  • on the line.

    在線上。

  • So I ran it by Jennifer, just in case just to double check.

    所以我讓Jennifer幫我查了一下,以防萬一,只是想再確認一下。

  • Jennifer said it looked good.

    詹妮弗說看起來不錯。

  • I sent it out."

    我把它送出去了。"

  • He goes, "Yeah, well now it's 10 man."

    他說,"是啊,現在是10個人了。"

  • And I realized this guy has no idea what's going

    我意識到這傢伙根本不知道發生了什麼事情

  • on over there.

    在那邊。

  • He hasn't talked to Larry.

    他還沒有和拉里談過。

  • I know he hasn't talked to Bruce.

    我知道他還沒有和布魯斯談過。

  • He doesn't even recognize my voice.

    他甚至不認識我的聲音。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • I know he didn't talk to Jennifer.

    我知道他沒有和詹妮弗說話。

  • I just made her up.

    我只是編造了她。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • So that's the only thing that's not real.

    所以這才是唯一不真實的東西。

  • [Buck] Okay.

    [巴克]好的

  • Jennifer, I literally made her up and made her up.

    詹妮弗,我真的把她編成了,把她編成了。

  • My guy is so thorough that he didn't just run it by Larry.

    我的人很徹底,他不只是被拉里跑了。

  • He ran over to Jennifer too, just to,

    他也跑到詹妮弗身邊,只是為了。

  • you know see how it went

    你知道嗎?

  • So he goes, "Listen, man, what are we going to do

    所以他說:"聽著,夥計,我們該怎麼辦?

  • about this?"

    關於這個?"

  • And I go, "Listen, I'm on the road right now.

    我走了,"聽著,我現在在路上。

  • I haven't even seen the email.

    我甚至沒有看到郵件。

  • Why don't you give Larry a call, check in with him.

    你為什麼不給拉里打個電話,向他彙報一下。

  • See what he says, call me back."

    看他怎麼說,再給我打電話。"

  • Just praying he will.

    只是祈禱他能做到。

  • Because that returned phone call was going to be amazing.

    因為那個回電會很神奇。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • That's when I thought this whole thing would end.

    我以為這一切都會結束了

  • He would hang up, call the guy

    他會掛斷電話,給那個人打電話

  • call me back and be like, "Who is this dude?"

    給我回電話,說 "這傢伙是誰?"

  • You know, that's when I thought it was going to end.

    你知道嗎,那是我以為要結束的時候。

  • I get home I'm so excited.

    我回到家,我很興奮。

  • I take out my cell phone.

    我拿出手機。

  • I'm like, you know what?

    我想,你知道嗎?

  • I'm going to save that guy's number.

    我要保存那個人的號碼。

  • Give him a call in a couple of days, touch base.

    過兩天給他打個電話,聯繫一下。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • Check in.

    簽到。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • See where we're at you know?

    你知道我們在哪裡嗎?

  • So I save it in my phone under random guy.

    所以我就把它保存在手機裡的隨機傢伙下。

  • It's what he is, he's a random guy.

    他就是這樣的人,他是個隨便的人。

  • Four or five days passed I forget about it.

    四五天過去了,我忘記了這件事。

  • Laying on my couch, watching the ball game, phone rings

    躺在我的沙發上,看球賽,電話響了

  • in the dining room table.

    在餐桌上。

  • I get up watching the game, grab the phone

    我起身看球賽,拿起手機。

  • watching the game, looked down, random guy.

    看比賽的時候,低頭一看,隨便一個人。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • But it's been a couple of days.

    但這幾天。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • So I'm like random guy, who's random guy?

    所以我就像隨機的人,誰是隨機的人?

  • Like who would even have random guy

    喜歡誰甚至會有隨機的傢伙

  • as their name that comes up?

    作為他們的名字,出現?

  • And then I was like, random guy.

    然後我就想,隨機的傢伙。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Like now I'm panicked, you know what I mean?

    就像現在我很恐慌,你知道我的意思嗎?

  • People's lives have been affected.

    人們的生活受到了影響。

  • It's only five grand, but I don't know how big

    五千塊錢而已,不知道有多大了

  • that company is, but I'm addicted to it.

    該公司是,但我對它上癮。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • I started this thing I need to see it through.

    我開始了這件事,我需要看到它通過。

  • This physicality of you going back to the phone,

    你的這種身體素質,回到手機上。

  • like I love this miming.

    就像我喜歡這種模仿。

  • It's 100% literal.

    這是100%的字面意思。

  • I'm so careless with people's worlds

    我太不小心把別人的世界弄得一團糟了。

  • that I just even forgot it was happening.

    我甚至都忘了這是怎麼回事。

  • And now I'm like, "Oh my God, before it was, you know

    現在我想,"哦,我的上帝,以前它是,你知道嗎?

  • just the call before it was a number.

    只是之前的電話是一個號碼。

  • Now it's a name, its personal like this,

    現在它是一個名字,它的個人像這樣。

  • something has happened

    出事了

  • and now I'm going to have to face the music."

    而現在,我將不得不面對音樂。"

  • I don't know who they are, but I