- Yes.

- 是的，我知道

But we're gonna do it my way

但我們要按我的方式來做

which is whatever way you think is best.

這是你認為最好的任何方式。

I make the rules and the first rule is

規矩是我定的，第一條就是

whatever you say goes.

你說什麼都可以。

(dramatic music)

咍

- Who blew the whistle on me Grace?

- 誰給我吹了哨子，格雷絲？

Who's the rat?

誰是老鼠？

Tell me, tell me, tell me.

告訴我，告訴我，告訴我。

- Telling you would violate my oath

- 告訴你會違反我的誓言

as an administrator of human resources

作為人力資源的管理者

and I would never do that, for less than $20.

而我絕對不會這樣做，不到20美元。

(dramatic music)

咍

- There.

- 好了

Now, who was it?

現在，是誰呢？

- It was me.

- 是我

- Grace, why?

- 格雷斯，為什麼？

- Because you're creating a ton of work for me.

- 因為你為我創造了大量的工作。

You blew the whistle on 23 people yesterday.

你昨天告發了23個人。

- Well, I'm sorry for exposing the truth

- 好吧，我很抱歉揭露了真相

like Edward Snowden.

像愛德華-斯諾登。

- Please, you are nothing like Edward Snowden.

- 拜託，你一點也不像愛德華-斯諾登。

You lack his bravery, his integrity, his raw sexuality.

你缺少他的勇敢，他的正直，他的原始性情。

- God he's so hot.

- 天啊，他好性感。

- God he's so hot.

- 天啊，他好性感。

- I just wanna lick his glasses.

- 我只想舔他的眼鏡。

- All I can do is make him--

- 我所能做的就是讓他...

- I just wanna smother him in the cold rushing night.

- 我只想把他悶在冰冷的衝鋒夜裡。

- Anyway, this company does reprehensible things every day.

- 總之，這家公司每天都在做應受譴責的事情。

If you actually care

如果你真的關心

find a real problem to blow the whistle on.

找一個真正的問題來吹口哨。

- Okay but, what if I don't actually care?

- 好吧，但是，如果我真的不在意呢？

- I don't care if he's in jail.

- 我不在乎他是否在監獄裡。

He's still Hampton Deville's top lawyer.

他仍然是漢普頓德維爾的頂級律師。

John, you wanted to see me.

約翰，你要見我

- Yes, Kate I spent the whole morning

- 是的，凱特，我花了整個上午

putting together something you're going to wanna see.

把你想看的東西放在一起。

These are my wife's seven brothers

這是我妻子的七個兄弟

Randall, Robert, Roger, Ronald, Richard, Ryan, Ray.

Randall, Robert, Roger, Ronald, Richard, Ryan, Ray.

Technically they're illiterate and they're all single

從技術上講，他們都是文盲，而且都是單身的

if you can believe it.

如果你能相信的話

Now, Randall is a little off

現在，蘭德爾有點不對勁

but once you get to know him, it's actually really funny.

但一旦你瞭解他，它實際上真的很有趣。

Like a deer that thinks it's a cat.

就像一隻以為自己是貓的鹿。

- John, why have you done this?

- 約翰，你為什麼要這麼做？

- Kate, my wife knows all about our sexual history.

- 凱特，我妻子知道我們所有的性史。

I told her every lurid detail and she got mad.

我把每一個駭人聽聞的細節都告訴了她，她很生氣。

- We had efficient sex one time at a corporate retreat,

- 我們有一次在公司務虛會上進行了高效的性愛。

it's no big deal.

這沒什麼大不了的。

Also, why is Gary here?

還有，為什麼加里在這裡？

- I asked him to be our chaperone.

- 我請他做我們的陪護。

I could not tell my wife

我不能告訴我妻子

that I was at a meal alone with another woman.

說我和另一個女人單獨吃飯。

- This is not a meal.

- 這不是一頓飯。

- I mean, look,

- 我的意思是，看。

I didn't wanna get into this in front of Gary but

我不想當著加里的面說這個，但是... ...

I'm a little worried that you still have feelings for me.

我有點擔心你對我還有感情。

And I just think it will put everyone's mind

而我只是覺得這會讓大家的思想

at ease if you were in a committed relationship.

如果你是在一個承諾的關係，安心。

And my suggestion is Ryan 'cause he's a great kisser.

我的建議是萊恩，因為他是一個偉大的接吻。

Gary prefers Robert

加里更喜歡羅伯特

but whatever you do, don't pick Randall.

但不管你做什麼，不要選擇蘭德爾。

I just don't think you're his type.

我只是不認為你是他喜歡的類型。

- John, how do I put this harshly?

- 約翰，我怎麼說得這麼難聽？

The moment your penis left my body

你的陰莖離開我身體的那一刻

it was as if it had never been there.

就像它從來沒有出現過一樣。

(laughs)

（笑）

- Ouch.

- 疼。

- So why don't we table this discussion forever

- 那我們為什麼不把這個討論永遠擱置呢？

and get back to work?

然後回去工作？

- When I was a child, my mother had a rule,

- 小時候，母親有一個規矩。

only one cookie from the cookie jar per day.

每天只從餅乾罐中取出一塊餅乾。

Thing was I loved cookies.

事情是我喜歡餅乾。

I'd lie, cry, beg and scream until she would relent.

我躺著，哭著，求著，叫著，直到她肯鬆口。

She could never say no.

她永遠無法說不。

When I was 11, her stepbrother crashed his car

我11歲的時候，她的繼兄把車撞壞了

while driving drunk so my mother gave him hers.

醉酒駕駛時，所以我母親把她的給了他。

So she had to walk to work four miles each way.

所以她不得不步行去上班，單程四英里。

One morning, she stopped to admire a beautiful deer

一天早上，她停下來欣賞一隻美麗的鹿。

standing in a field and that's when a midsize sedan

站在田間地頭，這時一輛中型轎車就會出現在眼前

careened onto the sidewalk and crushed her.

撞到了人行道上，把她壓死了。

Turned out the driver of the car

原來是那輛車的司機

was her stepbrother drunk yet again on light beer.

是她的繼兄又喝光了啤酒。

My mother spent months in the hospital recovering

我媽媽在醫院裡呆了好幾個月

unable to work.

無法工作；

Desperate for cash, we sold everything

我們急著用錢，就把所有的東西都賣了

except for this cookie jar.

除了這個餅乾罐

Cookie?

Cookie?

- Sure.

- 當然可以

- Thank you.

- 謝謝你了

- For later. - No, thank you.

- 待會再說吧- 不，謝謝你。

- As an accountant,

- 作為一名會計。

it's my job to keep the lid on the cookie jar,

我的工作就是把蓋子蓋在餅乾罐上

which brings us to the expense report

這就是我們的費用報告

from your recent business trip to Los Angeles.

你最近去洛杉磯出差的時候

What I need for you to answer me is this,

我需要你回答我的是。

How did four Hampton Deville employees

四名漢普頓德維爾員工是如何

in the course of one dinner at

一頓飯下來

Marcus Sombreros Mexican Bar and Grill

Marcus Sombreros墨西哥酒吧和燒烤店

managed to drink 16 margaritas.

我喝了16杯瑪格麗特酒

(laughs)

（笑）

- Hey Paige, I brought in cupcakes for everyone.

- 嘿，佩奇，我帶了小蛋糕給大家。

- Why?

- 為什麼？

- Just to brighten your day.

- 只是為了照亮你的一天。

Listen, I know everyone's feeling a little down

聽著，我知道每個人都覺得有點沮喪

about the desk sensors which you shouldn't

關於辦公桌上的傳感器，你不應該

because there's nothing to worry about.

因為沒有什麼好擔心的。

But hopefully these cupcakes will cheer you up

但希望這些小蛋糕能讓你開心起來。

and remind you that I've always got your back.

並提醒你，我一直在你身後。

- We've always got your back too Matt.

- 我們永遠支持你，馬特。

(laughs)

（笑）

- Well, y'all deserve a chuckle

- 好吧，你們都值得一笑。

and I'm just happy to provide it.

而我只是很樂意提供它。

All right, you know what?

好吧，你知道嗎？

Hit me in the back with a cupcake once shame on me

用小蛋糕打我的後背，讓我感到羞恥。

but hit me in the back with a cupcake twice

但卻在背後用小蛋糕打了我兩次

(shrieks)

（尖叫聲）

okay, you know what?

好吧，你知道嗎？

I am your friend but I am also your superior.

我是你的朋友，但我也是你的上司。

And so the next person that throws a cupcake at me

所以下一個向我扔紙杯蛋糕的人

is gonna get in trouble, big time trouble.

會惹上麻煩，大麻煩。

(dramatic music)

咍

- You big brother mother.

- 你這個大哥媽媽。

(dramatic music)

咍

- Since someone's done the paper straw

- 既然有人做了紙吸管

why don't we do a plastic straw?

我們為什麼不做一個塑膠吸管？

- I was just thinking that.

- 我只是在想

Yeah, great idea Kev.

是啊，好主意，凱文。

- John that doesn't make any sense.

- 約翰，這沒有任何意義。

Plastic straws are the problem.

塑膠吸管就是問題所在。

- Problem yeah, you know I was just thinking that.

- 問題是啊，你知道我只是在想。

But piggybacking off Kev's idea about plastic straws

但是，從Kev關於塑膠吸管的想法中，我們可以得到一個新的啟發

what about does wooden straws make sense?

那木質吸管有意義嗎？

- People feel guilty about their cars in the environment.

- 人們對自己的汽車在環境中感到內疚。

What if we did Lyft but with, I don't know, horses.

如果我們做Lyft，但我不知道，馬。

- Horses, yap.

- 馬，亞普。

I was just thinking that.

我只是在想

Great idea both of us, mostly me.

我們倆的主意都不錯，主要是我。

(gentle music)

（溫柔的音樂）

- Also have you noticed that

- 另外，你有沒有注意到

Jake's been ending conversations by saying peace now?

Jake現在一直用說和平來結束對話?

Where did that come from?

哪裡來的？

- As long as it means he's leaving the room,

- 只要這意味著他要離開房間。

I'm fine with whatever he says.

他說什麼我都沒意見。

- You know it's funny I was just thinking that.

- 你知道這很有趣，我只是在想。

- You know that's hilarious because I was just thinking

- 你知道這很好笑，因為我剛才在想...

that you were just thinking that.

你只是在想，

(laughs)

（笑）

- Hi Tammy. - Hi Tammy.

- 嗨，塔米- 嗨，塔米

- Hey Matt, hey Jake.

- 嘿，馬特，嘿，傑克。

- The writers of the note have shit for brains.

- 寫紙條的人腦子裡都是屎。

They act like they're tough, but have no game.

他們表現得好像很強硬，但沒有遊戲。

They wouldn't know what to do with good coffee

他們不知道該怎麼處理好咖啡了

if it bit them in the ass.

如果它咬他們的屁股。

- I guess I should get back to the grind, peace.

- 我想我該回去工作了，平安。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- There's something we need to discuss with you

- 有件事我們要和你商量一下。

but you have to swear on the Bible

但你必須對著聖經發誓

that this stays between us.

這是我們之間的事

This has the New Testament for Matt

這有新約為馬特

and the prequel for Jake.

和傑克的前傳。

- John forget the goddamn Bible.

- 約翰... ...忘了那本該死的聖經

- Yes, sir.

- 是的，先生。

- We are making a play against Christian.

- 我們要對克里斯蒂安下手。

And if you side with us

如果你站在我們這邊

you will have more money and power than you ever dreamed of.

你將擁有比你夢想中更多的金錢和權力。

- Congrats sluts, your days of doing grunt work

- 祝賀你的蕩婦們，你們的日子就這樣過下去了

are finally over.

終於結束了。

- From this moment forward

- 從這一刻開始

you are no longer junior executives in training.

你們不再是培訓中的初級管理人員了。

- You're now senior executives.

- 你們現在是高級主管了。

- In theory.

- 理論上來說。

All you have to do is walk out that door.

你要做的就是走出那扇門。

- Actually, we decided we like where we're at.

- 事實上，我們決定喜歡我們現在的處境。

- You guys just seem really stressed out all the time.

- 你們似乎一直都很緊張。

- With very little power comes very little responsibility.

- 權力很小，責任也很小。

- We're Buddhist now.

- 我們現在是佛教徒了。

- Well sucks to be you then.

- 那你可真夠倒黴的

You're gonna have more money and power

你會有更多的錢和權力

whether you like it or not.

不管你喜歡與否。

- And the bigger office. - We like this office.

- 還有更大的辦公室- 我們喜歡這個辦公室。

- How do you like it now, huh?

- 你現在覺得怎麼樣，嗯？

- Hey.

- 嘿嘿

- How about now, huh?

- 現在怎麼樣，嗯？

- How about now?

- 現在呢？

- We are taking Christian down.

- 我們要把克里斯蒂安拿下

- And so are you, more money you sluts, what more?

- 你也一樣，多賺點錢，你們這些騷貨，還要什麼？

(dramatic music)

咍

Ouch, Ouch!

疼，疼！