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  • (upbeat music)

  • - So this is a video to all the ladies.

  • I'm looking for a girlfriend.

  • I just wanted to tell you, I have a six inch penis

  • (laughing)

  • it doesn't really matter though

  • because you're probably not high enough to get it up.

  • I'm bipolar and schizophrenic

  • and I live with my parents.

  • I have no job.

  • My sole motivation in life to get a job is to smoke weed.

  • If you date me and we lived together for quite some time,

  • By the time we're 30 or 50, or 40 or 50,

  • my uncles should die off,

  • we should get like a million dollars.

  • So yeah.

  • Anybody who thinks I'm hot, hit me out.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - What?

  • - Oh, it's Chris.

  • - Hey, welcome to the bachelor mansion.

  • (door squeaks)

  • Kinda sucks.

  • - Yeah?

  • - Nice hair.

  • - Yeah. You too.

  • - Thanks, man.

  • What was the response from people after they saw that video?

  • - Some people were just like, Oh man, you rock, you know?

  • And other people were like, you need to get a job.

  • - Did women reply to the video?

  • - Yeah, there is actually a, this amateur porn star.

  • She's like, 'Hey, you should come visit me.'

  • - Did you go?

  • - Ah, no, I actually had some money to do it

  • and I kinda smoked a bunch of weed.

  • - What would be your ideal woman?

  • - Okay.

  • She's gotta have like black hair, straight black hair,

  • blue to gray eyes.

  • Pale skin, about a C cup.

  • - How much does she weigh?

  • - Anywhere from like 110 to like 135 at the most.

  • - At the most.

  • Okay.

  • - I have known chicks that looked damn sexy at 135.

  • - But not many.

  • - Right.

  • - Is your penis six inches or is it five and three quarters?

  • - A little over six inches. - Over six inches?

  • You undersold it.

  • - Well-

  • - Give the girls a little quarter inch to take home with.

  • - A little surprise, a little surprise.

  • - That's nice, that is nice of you.

  • What was the disorder that you mentioned on there?

  • Bipolar and-

  • - And schizophrenia.

  • - Schizophrenia-

  • - Which is actually-

  • - Is it self diagnosed or are you really?

  • - I'm, I'm very diagnosed.

  • - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

  • What would be your perfect date?

  • - Go to a movie, go to dinner,

  • and then sit around all night and get stoned

  • and have great sex.

  • - Sign me up.

  • (laughing)

  • I've set you up on a few dates,

  • but before that I want my team of Hollywood stylists

  • to come in and give you a full makeover.

  • Oh my Chris, we have our work cut out for us.

  • (upbeat music)

  • That is perfect.

  • Great job ladies.

  • - Are you nervous?

  • - Ah, a little.

  • - Well, we have four dates set up for ya,

  • I hope you can find your girlfriend.

  • You ready to meet them?

  • - Yes.

  • - All right.

  • Let me introduce you to Meghan,

  • Lisa,

  • Katie,

  • Molly.

  • Isn't she graceful? Well I hope you have fun on your dates.

  • Don't get too excited.

  • I'm going to be there to chaperone all of them.

  • - A'ight.

  • (violin playing)

  • - Hey.

  • - Hey, how're you doing?

  • - How are you?

  • He was so creepy.

  • That's a nice shirt.

  • Where did you get it?

  • (violin screeching)

  • (laughing)

  • - Stack like a menu.

  • Wasn't really into her.

  • Ah, what is your cup size?

  • - He was very inappropriate.

  • - I didn't hear a word she said,

  • I was freaking staring at her candle the whole time.

  • (laughing)

  • - Did you guys do a background check on this guy?

  • (guitar strumming)

  • - So how was your day to day?

  • - Oh, it was good, thank you.

  • - Ask her how much money she makes.

  • - How much money to you make?

  • - That's not important, is it?

  • - I think she's good to go.

  • - When you (beep) how many (beep) do you use?

  • - I think I'm on the wrong show.

  • (laughing)

  • - You on Hell date.

  • (accordion playing)

  • Hell date.

  • - You look beautiful.

  • - Oh, thank you.

  • - She is way into me and seemed kinda desperate.

  • Are you a fan of anal sex?

  • (laughing)

  • (whistle blows)

  • - Would I go on a second date with Chris?

  • No.

  • (laughing)

  • - Yeah, I'm definitely attracted to him.

  • He totally has the look I like,

  • little fuzz here, tight, tight ponytail.

  • - Good thing about her is she didn't talk much.

  • (laughing)

  • - Dude, I think I'm dying.

  • For real.

  • You guys are meant for each other.

  • - Okay Chris, you had four dates.

  • Three of them were painfully awkward to be honest

  • but the world wants to know,

  • have you found your new girlfriend?

  • - Yes I have.

  • - Can I eliminate myself?

  • - Ladies, something you might be interested to know

  • when you're 30 or 50-

  • - Or 40 or 50, my uncle should die off.

  • We should get like a million dollars.

  • - He will be receiving $1 million.

  • - When a man has money, it definitely changes things.

  • - Take it away, Chris.

  • - I'm super attracted to him.

  • - Black hair, straight black hair,

  • blue to gray eyes, pale skin.

  • Molly.

  • You can go home.

  • It had been like banging my ugly sister.

  • This is where the decision became very tough.

  • But I think I'm going to go

  • with the one that I've seen mostly naked.

  • Holly.

  • - I think it's Lisa.

  • - Whatever, the blonde.

  • - Oh, you guys are going to have such creepy kids.

  • Get out of here.

  • Take her to Poundtown.

  • (clapping)

  • - In case you were wondering how they're doing.

  • I don't want to alarm anybody, but she is dead.

  • There are currently no suspects

  • but Chris is definitely a person of interest.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - This is the Armani Kiss.

  • (low pitch hum)

  • - She uses his weiner as a tiny little tuning fork.

  • That's the warning sign and lets their kids know daddy's

  • about to bury his rainbow roll into mommy's yellow tail.

  • (laughing)

  • It's how I greet my staff every morning.

  • Lets them know I still care

  • without crossing any lines.

  • - Morning guys.

  • - Morning Daniel.

  • (low pitch hum)

  • - (indistinct)

  • There's no harmonic quife.

  • Some people just don't know how to behave in the workplace.

  • (upbeat music)

  • (jaz music)

  • - Joanna is just going to relax her lips.

  • And she's just going to receive my kiss.

  • (laughing)

  • And she's feeling all of my energy that we talked

  • about in the touch exercise

  • and the sensation of the softness of my lips against hers.

  • How was that?

  • - Beautiful.

  • - You can use your lips to kiss.

  • You can use one lip to kiss.

  • You can use your tongue to kiss

  • and you can do all of this just on the outer lips.

  • Before we even go inside.

  • - One of the other things that you can do

  • when you're kissing is using your breath

  • and so there's a blowing that can happen

  • and you can actually even nibble too.

  • (laughing)

  • - And that's how it's done.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Thank you guys for being here.

  • How about a little sugar?

  • Okay. I need you guys to get off.

  • My legs are falling asleep, okay?

  • - All right.

  • - Okay. Thank you.

  • - What is date camp?

  • - Date camp sorta like band camp for adults.

  • Single adults.

  • - Just meaning, not married?

  • - Not in a relationship.

  • - Not in a relationship.

  • So people show up completely alone

  • and you just pair them up with somebody?

  • - They get to pair themselves.

  • - How do you make the move to make the first kiss?

  • Because there's nothing more embarrassing

  • than going in and the other person does not want to receive.

  • - So if I move towards her a little bit, is she moving back?

  • Is she staying there?

  • Or is she coming to meet me a little bit?

  • - But if she's going back,

  • maybe she wants you to lie on top of her?

  • - Not likely for a first kiss.

  • - Okay. - If I want you to come in,

  • I'm at a minimum going to stay right where I'm at.

  • - So basically if you don't run away, I'm-

  • green light.

  • - If I move back even a fraction,

  • and this is the first kiss, stop.

  • - So much to remember.

  • - It's tough to be a man, isn't it?

  • - Well, it is.

  • There's so much pressure.

  • All you have to do is not move back.

  • - Well we could do the same thing.

  • Let's say she wants to kiss me.

  • - So she, so she-

  • - Although I'm never gonna make the first kiss-

  • - So she moves in a little.

  • I can, I can-

  • - Oh, that's, that's a mistake.

  • You should.

  • It's very, very empowering to be a whore.

  • (laughing)

  • Is there such thing as too much tongue?

  • - I enjoy tongue, and it can be too much.

  • It's not about shoving it in.

  • - Sure.

  • Now in your original video,

  • you guys kept your eyes open every time you were making out.

  • Now, to me, that is just creepy.

  • - This is where it goes from just sex

  • to like your whole body experience.

  • - Ah, do you guys work with gay couples?

  • - I work with gay and lesbian couples

  • and it's not my personal