WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY.

我希望你沒事。

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

很高興見到你。

IT HAS BEEN-- IT'S BEEN A ROUGH YEAR.

這是... 這是一個艱難的一年。

HOW ROUGH?

如何粗糙？

WELL, IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, THE BIGGEST STORIES ALL INVOLVE OLD

在過去的24小時裡，最大的故事都涉及到老

MEN CRYING.

男人們在哭泣：

IT'S LIKE BEING AT DENNY'S THE DAY THEY DISCONTINUE THE $6.99

就像在DENNY'S停售6. 99美元的那天一樣。

SUPER SLAM.

超級大滿貫。

THE FIRST WEEPING SEPTUAGENARIAN: PRESIDENT JOE

第一個流淚的休斯敦人：JOE主席。

BIDEN.

BIDEN：

AND IT IS OUR GOOD GRACE THAT HE IS WILLING TO WEEP.

他願意流淚是我們的恩典。

BECAUSE YESTERDAY, THE PRESIDENT

因為昨天，主席... ...

COMMEMORATED THE HEARTBREAKING NUMBER OF AMERICANS WHO HAVE

悼念人數眾多、令人心碎的美國人。

DIED DURING THE PANDEMIC.

死了期間的PANDEMIC。

>> TODAY, WE MARK A TRULY GRIM, HEARTBREAKING MILESTONE,

>> 今天，我們迎來了一個真正嚴峻的，令人心碎的里程碑。

500,071 DEAD.

500,071人死亡。

THAT'S MORE AMERICANS WHO DIED IN ONE YEAR IN THIS PANDEMIC

這是更多的美國人誰在一年內死亡在此氾濫。

THAN IN WORLD WAR I, WORLD WAR II, AND THE VIETNAM WAR

比在第一次世界大戰，第二次世界大戰，和越南戰爭中

COMBINED.

合併：

>> Stephen: THAT IS A HORRIFYING AND TRAGIC NUMBER THAT WAS

>> 斯蒂芬：這是一個可怕的和悲劇性的數字，這是

COMPLETELY AVOIDABLE, THAT WE COULD ALL SEE COMING, AND WAS

完全可以避免的，我們都可以看到即將到來的，是

CLEARLY THE RESULT OF FAILED LEADERSHIP.

顯然是上司失敗的結果。

AFTER ALL, THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN WAY MORE CASUALTIES IN WORLD

畢竟，在世界範圍內，會有更多的性愛事件發生

WAR II IF PATTON'S SPEECH WENT LIKE THIS:

第二次世界大戰，如果彭定康的演講是這樣的：

>> NOW, I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT NO BASTARD EVER WON A WAR

>> 現在，我要你們記住，沒有一個混蛋能打贏一場戰爭。

BY DYING FOR HIS COUNTRY.

為國捐軀。

SO DON'T LET THE NAZIS DOMINATE YOUR LIFE.

所以不要讓納粹統治你的生活。

THEY'LL BE GONE BY THE SPRING.

春天他們就會走了。

NOW, TAKE THE ADVICE OF MY FAVORITE PILLOW SALESMAN, AND

現在，採取我最喜歡的枕頭銷售員的建議，和。

EAT YOUR BLEACH.

吃你的BLEACH。

IT'LL GO THROUGH YOU LIKE CRAP THROUGH A GOOSE.

它會像糞便穿透鵝一樣穿透你。

>> Stephen: IT WAS A DEVASTATING, BUT POWERFUL SPEECH

>> 斯蒂芬：這是一次毀滅性的，但很有力量的演講。

BECAUSE OF BIDEN'S WILLINGNESS TO SHARE IN OUR NATIONAL GRIEF

因為比登願意分擔我們的民族苦難。

BY NAMING HIS PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH UNIMAGINABLE

命名他的個人經歷與難以想象的。

LOSS.

損失：

IT'S HARD FOOTAGE TO PLAY ON A COMEDY SHOW LIKE THIS, BUT IT'S

在這樣的喜劇節目上播放很難，但它是。

NUTRITIOUS TO THE SOUL TO SEE A PRESIDENT FINALLY FACING OUR

看到一個總統終於面對我們的靈魂，這對靈魂是有營養的。

EMOTIONAL REALITY.

情感現實。

AND IT'S REFRESHING.

而且它是令人振奮的。

BECAUSE THE PREVIOUS GUY'S EMOTIONAL RANGE RAN THE GAMUT

因為前一個傢伙的情感範圍超過了GAMUT。

FROM ANGRY TO HANGRY.

從生氣到生氣。

TO PUT THE MONUMENTAL LOSS HE WAS ADDRESSING INTO PERSPECTIVE,

把他正在解決的單項損失放到視野中去。

THE U.S. HAS ABOUT 4% OF THE WORLD'S POPULATION AND RECORDED

美國的人口約佔世界人口的4%，並且記錄在案。

25% OF THE COVID CASES AND 20% OF THE FATALITIES.

25%的COVID案例和20%的死亡案例。

IF A RESTAURANT HAD THE HEALTH RECORD THE UNITED STATES DOES,

如果一家餐館有健康記錄，美國就有。

THE LETTER GRADE OUT FRONT WOULD BE "NOT AVAILABLE-- INSPECTOR

前面的字母等級是 "不可用-------------------------檢查員

DEVOURED BY RATS."

被老鼠吃了。"

BUT DESPITE THE HISTORY OF BADNESS, THERE ARE REASONS FOR

但是，儘管有壞事的歷史，但還是有原因的。

HOPE.

希望：

THE VACCINATIONS ARE SPEEDING UP.

疫苗接種的速度加快了。

AND, YESTERDAY, WE LEARNED ANOTHER ONE IS ABOUT TO COME ON

今天，我們又得知另一個人要來了。

THE MARKET, BECAUSE JOHNSON & JOHNSON ANNOUNCED IT CAN

市場，因為JOHNSON & JOHNSON宣佈它可以。

PROVIDE 20 MILLION VACCINE DOSES BY LATE MARCH.

在3月底之前提供2000萬劑疫苗。

THAT IS SUCH GREAT NEWS, I COULD CRY!

這是如此巨大的新聞，我可以哭了！

BUT I KNOW JOHNSON & JOHNSON HAS A STRICT POLICY OF "NO MORE

但我知道JOHNSON & JOHNSON有一個嚴格的政策 "沒有更多的"。

TEARS."

淚。"

OH, AND THERE'S MORE GOOD NEWS: THE SEVEN-DAY AVERAGE NUMBER OF

哦，還有更多的好消息。七天的平均數量為：

CASES IS DOWN 75%, DAILY HOSPITAL ADMISSION RATE DROPPED

病例減少75%，每天的醫院入院率下降。

60%, AND IN THE PAST WEEK, DEATHS HAVE DROPPED NEARLY 39%.

60%，而在過去的一週，死亡人數下降了近39%。

THAT IS WONDERFUL-- IF YOU IGNORE THE FACT THAT THESE

如果你忽略了這些人的事實，那就太美妙了。

NUMBERS ARE COMPARABLE TO LAST SUMMER'S PEAK.

數字與去年夏天的峰值相比。

ALL RIGHT!

好吧！

WE'RE BACK WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE THOUGHT IT COULDN'T GET ANY

我們又回到了我們以為不會再發生的地方

WORSE, BUT WE WERE WRONG!

更糟糕的是，但我們錯了！

WOO-HOO!

嗚呼！

JIMMY, HIT THE FIREWORKS!

JIMMY，打火機！

YEEEEAH.

YEEEEAH。

ICA BOOM!

ICA BOOM！

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE BANKING DOWN MY ENTHUSIASM.

我不是唯一的一個銀行我的愛好。

APPARENTLY, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION ITSELF HAS

顯然，比登行政當局本身已經

REFUSED TO PUBLICLY CELEBRATE THE PROGRESS WE'RE MAKING

拒絕公開慶祝我們正在取得的進展。

BECAUSE THEY FEAR "IT WILL PROMPT PANDEMIC-WEARY

因為他們害怕 "會引發氾濫成災"。

AMERICANS TO RELAX TOO SOON."

美國人要放鬆太早。"

( AS BIDEN ) "DON'T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN,

"不要讓你的衛兵倒下

JACK!

傑克！

OL' CORONA COULD JUST BE PLAYIN' POSSUM!

OL' CORONA可能只是在玩POSSUM！

OKAY?

好嗎？

THE BOTTOM OF THE TRASH CAN, YOU THINK IT'S A DEAD RAT, THEN IT

在垃圾桶的底部，你認為它是一隻死老鼠，然後它。

JUMPS UP AND GRABS YOU BY THE EARS.

撲上去抓住你的耳朵。

THEY GOT OPPOSABLE THUMBS!

他們得到了OPPOSABLE拇指！

START BURROWING IN YOUR EYE SOCKET!

開始在你的眼袋裡挖錢吧!

ANYWAY, STOP, DROP, AND ROLL-- DON'T DO DRUGS.

無論如何，停止，下降，並滾 - 不要做毒品。

( LAUGHTER ) READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

閱讀是基礎。

ONLY DOPES DO DOPE."

只有吸毒者才會吸毒。"

LAUGH ONE OF THOSE IS APPLICABLE.

笑其中一個是適用的。

THE POINT IS, I KNOW IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR, BUT WE CAN'T LET

重點是，我知道已經過了一年了，但我們不能放任不管

UP NOW.

現在就起來。

AND SOMEBODY OUGHT TO TELL THAT TO NEW YORK GOVERNOR AND MAN

有人要把這話告訴紐約州的州長和市民。

JUST DARING YOU TO PULL HIS FINGER, ANDREW CUOMO.

只是怕你拉他的手指，安德魯・庫莫。

BECAUSE, YESTERDAY, THE GOVERNOR ANNOUNCED THAT, FOR THE FIRST

因為，昨天，州長宣佈，這是第一次

TIME IN NEARLY A YEAR, MOVIE THEATERS IN NEW YORK CITY WILL

在近一年的時間裡，紐約市的電影院將會

BE PERMITTED TO OPEN.

獲准開業。

IT'S ALL PART OF CUOMO'S NEW COVID RESPONSE PLAN, "OPERATION:

這都是CUOMO新的COVID反應計劃 "行動 "的一部分。

PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE NURSING HOME THING."

請不要再談什麼養老院的事了。"

( AS CUOMO ) "I WAS A MEME!

（作為CUOMO）"我是一個MEME！

REMEMBER?

記得嗎？

DO I HAVE A NIPPLE RING OR DON'T I?

我到底有沒有乳環？

WHERE ARE MY CUOMOSEXUALS AT?" NOW, I AM NOT A PUBLIC HEALTH

我的CUOMOSEXUALS在哪裡？"現在，我不是一個公共衛生

EXPERT, NOR DO I RUN A MOVIE THEATER, BUT THIS SOUNDS

專家，我也不經營電影院，但這聽起來。

QUESTIONABLE TO ME.

對我來說是有疑問的。

THE WHOLE REASON CASES ARE GOING DOWN IS THAT WE'RE NOT DOING

案件減少的主要原因是我們沒有做什麼

THINGS LIKE GOING TO THE MOVIES.

像去電影院的事情。

BUT IT'S HARDLY WORTH IT JUST TO BE COMPLETELY CONFUSED BY

但這是非常值得的，只是為了完全迷惑於。

"TENET" ON THE BIG SCREEN!

"TENET "在大屏幕上！

OF COURSE, THE GOVERNOR PROMISES THERE WILL BE PRECAUTIONS.

當然，總督保證會有預防措施。

FOR INSTANCE, THE THEATERS WILL ONLY BE PERMITTED TO OPERATE AT

暫時，劇院只允許在以下時間段內營業

25% OF THEIR MAXIMUM CAPACITY, WITH NO MORE THAN 50 PEOPLE PER

其最大能力的25%，每個人不超過50人。

SCREENING.

篩選：

SO, IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE NEW LIAM NEESON MOVIE "MARKSMAN,"

所以，如果你想看利亞姆-尼森的新電影 "MARKSMAN "的話

YOU SHOULD BE SAFE.

你應該是安全的。

BRING 49 FRIENDS.

帶上49個朋友。

( LAUGHTER ) ARE YOU A BIG FAN?

你是一個大風扇？

ARE YOU A BIG MAN.

你是個大人物嗎？

ARE YOU LOOKED FORWARD TO SEEING "MARKSMAN"?

你期待看到 "MARKSMAN "嗎？

YOU'RE AFRAID LIAM IS GOING TO BE MAD ABOUT THE JOKE.

你害怕利亞姆會因為這個笑話而生氣。

LIAM AND I ARE FRIENDS.

利亞姆和我是朋友。

YOU CAN'T TELL FROM THAT JOKE, BUT WE'RE FRIENDS!

你不能從這個笑話中看出，但我們是朋友！

HE DOESN'T WRITE THEM.

他不寫這些。

( LAUGHTER ) HEHE HAS A CERTAIN SET OF SKILLS

他有一套特定的技能。

THEY DO NOT INVOLVE WRITING MOVIES.

他們不涉及寫電影。

( LAUGHTER ) IN ADDITION, MASKS WILL BE

此外，面具也將是。

MANDATORY, AND THEATERS WILL BE REQUIRED TO HAVE ENHANCED AIR

強制要求，劇院將被要求有更好的空氣質量

FILTRATION SYSTEMS.

過濾系統：

AND YOU'D BETTER HOPE THESE PRECAUTIONS WORK, BECAUSE TESTS

而且你最好希望這些預防措施有效，因為測試中

FOR THE CORONAVIRUS WILL NOT BE REQUIRED.

對於冠狀病毒將不需要。

IT EXPLAINS THE UPDATE TO THEIR LITTLE SONG:

它解釋了更新到他們的小歌。

♪ LET'S ALL GO TO THE HOSPITAL

讓我們一起去醫院。

♪ AND HAVE THE DOC SWAB OUR SPITTLE

並讓醫生擦拭我們的口水。

♪ LET'S ALL GO TO THE HOSPITAL

讓我們一起去醫院。

♪ BECAUSE WE WATCHED "THE CROODS" ♪

因為我們看了 "CROODS"

>> Stephen: DESPITE THE ENHANCED RISK, THE GOVERNOR MADE IT CLEAR

>> 斯蒂芬：儘管風險加大，但總督還是說得很清楚。

THAT MOVIE THEATER EMPLOYEES ARE NOT YET ELIGIBLE FOR THE

電影院的員工還沒有資格參加電影院的工作。

COVID-19 VACCINE.

COVID-19 疫苗。

SO, THEY'RE GOING TO WANT TO USE A LOT OF PURELL.

所以，他們會想使用大量的PURELL。

OR THE POPCORN TOPPING.

或者爆米花澆頭。

THAT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES.

這將最終殺死它所接觸的一切。

THIS STORY UNDERLINES THE FUNDAMENTAL INEQUITY IN

這個故事說明了《公約》中的基本不平等現象。

DISTRIBUTING VACCINES IN THIS COUNTRY.

在本國分發疫苗；

FOR INSTANCE, ACCORDING TO THE C.D.C., BLACK PEOPLE AND LATINOS

迄今為止，根據中央直屬機關的規定，黑人和拉美裔人

ARE THREE TIMES MORE LIKELY TO BE HOSPITALIZED AND TWICE AS

住院的可能性比一般人高出三倍，而且是一般人的兩倍。

LIKELY TO DIE FROM THE VIRUS, BUT BLACK AND LATINO AMERICANS

黑人和拉丁美洲人很可能會死於病毒，但黑人和拉丁美洲人也可能會死於病毒。

ARE BEING VACCINATED AT LOWER RATES.

正在以較低的速度接種疫苗。

SO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING

所以加州政府決定採取一些行動

ABOUT THAT.

關於這一點。

THAT'S NICE.

這是很好的。

THEY CREATED A PROGRAM WHERE MEMBERS OF UNDER-SERVED

他們設立了一個計劃，讓服務不足的人的成員在這個計劃中得到幫助。

COMMUNITIES WOULD BE THE ONLY ONES ALLOWED TO MAKE CERTAIN

只有社區才能獲准作出決定。

VACCINATION APPOINTMENTS USING SPECIAL ACCESS CODES PROVIDED TO

使用提供的特殊訪問代碼進行的疫苗接種預約。

COMMUNITY ORGANIZATIONS.

社區組織：

AND IF YOU USE THE CODE "UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT,

如果你使用代碼 "UP，UP，DOWN，DOWN，LEFT，RIGHT，LEFT"。

RIGHT, B., A., START," YOU GET A VACCINE APPOINTMENT AND THE

右邊，B.，A.，開始，"你得到了一個疫苗預約，並在。

FEATHER THAT MAKES YOU FLY.

讓你飛翔的教具。

THIS IS AN EQUITABLE SYSTEM PROMOTING FAIRNESS, SO

這是一個促進公平的系統，所以......。

NATURALLY, LOS ANGELES' WEALTHY ARE NABBING THE SECRET VACCINE

自然而然，洛杉磯的富豪們都在搶奪祕密疫苗。

APPOINTMENT CODES FROM MINORITY COMMUNITIES.

少數民族社區的任用守則：

IT'S ALL CHRONICLED IN THE NEW SERIES, "THE REAL ASS WIPES OF

這一切都在新的系列中被記錄下來，"真正的屁股擦拭"。

BEVERLY HILLS."

貝利山莊。"

ONTO THE NEXT CRYING OLD MAN, ATTORNEY GENERAL NOMINEE, AND

下一個哭泣的老人，總檢察長提名人，以及。

MAN DESCRIBING HIS INVISIBLE RABBIT FRIEND, MERRICK GARLAND,

男人描述他那看不見的兔子朋友，梅里克・加蘭德。

WHO VOWS TO TARGET WHITE SUPREMACISTS AS ATTORNEY

誰發誓要以律師身份打擊白人至上主義者？

GENERAL.

一般情況：

AND FOR A CHANGE, IT'S NOT TO GIVE THEM MEDALS OF FREEDOM.

改變一下，這不是給他們的自由勳章。

GARLAND ALREADY HAS A LIFETIME APPOINTMENT AS A FEDERAL JUDGE,

加蘭德已經有了終身的聯邦法官的任命。

BUT HE'S GIVING THAT UP TO BE ATTORNEY GENERAL, AND YESTERDAY,

但他放棄了做總檢察長的機會，而且今天。

HE TEARFULLY EXPLAINED WHY.

他淚流滿面地解釋了原因。

>> I COME FROM A FAMILY WHERE MY GRANDPARENTS FLED ANTI-SEMITISM

>> 我來自一個家庭，我的祖父母在那裡開了反猶太主義的玩笑。

AND PERSECUTION.

酷刑和懲罰：

THE COUNTRY TOOK US IN-- AND PROTECTED US.

國家接納了我們... 並保護了我們。

AND I FEEL AN OBLIGATION TO THE COUNTRY TO PAY BACK, AND THIS IS

我覺得有義務對國家還錢，這是

THE HIGHEST, BEST USE OF MY OWN SET OF SKILLS TO PAY BACK.

最高，最好的利用我自己的技能集來償還。

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT WE'VE COME TO IN THIS COUNTRY: THE

>> 這就是我們在這個國家的情況：

GRANDSON OF PEOPLE WHO FLED GENOCIDE IS PROMISING TO SAVE

逃離滅絕種族罪的人的孫子承諾要救人

OUR COUNTRY FROM WHITE SUPREMACISTS.

我們的國家從白人至上主義者那裡。

AND THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE HARD TO FIND.

而且它們也不難找到。

JOSH HAWLEY IS SITTING RIGHT ACROSS THE ROOM FROM HIM.

我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說。

SPEAKING OF MOBS OF ANGRY IDIOTS, THIS WEEK IS THE

說到憤怒的白痴，本週是憤怒的白痴，本週是憤怒的白痴。

CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL ACTION CONFERENCE, OR CPAC.

公民政治行動會議，或CPAC。

IT'S A WHO'S WHO OF "WHO NEEDS THAT MANY GUNS IN THEIR REC

這是一個 "誰需要這麼多槍在他們的錄音室 "的名人錄。

ROOM?" OF COURSE, WITH ALL THE CRISES

房間？"當然，隨著所有的危機。

FACING OUR NATION, CONSERVATIVES ARE FOCUSING ON THE MOST

面對我們的國家，保護主義者們正在關注最重要的問題。

PRESSING ISSUE OF ALL: FASCISTS BEING KICKED OFF OF TWITTER.

壓迫性問題的所有。FASCISTS被踢出TWITTER。

THIS YEAR'S THEME IS "AMERICA UNCANCELED."

今年的主題是 "美國無敵"。

I DIDN'T KNOW AMERICA WAS CANCELED!

我不知道美國被取消了！

ALTHOUGH, I'M NOT SURPRISED.

雖然，我並不驚訝。

THE LAST SEASON WAS PRETTY UNBELIEVABLE.

上一季是非常不可思議的。

A PANDEMIC AND NAZIS?

磐石和納粹？

OKAY, PICK ONE.

好吧，選一個。

WE'VE JUMPED THE SHARK.

我們已經跳過了鯊魚。

OOOH, NAZI SHARKS.

哦，納粹鯊魚。

STILL, BETTER THAN LAST YEAR'S CPAC THEME: "GIVING THE FLAG THE

但比去年的CPAC主題更好："給旗幟以顏色"。

CLAP."

CLAP。"

ACCORDING-- REALLY, REALLY?

據 - 真的，真的嗎？

YOU THINK I'M AFRAID OF OFFENDING THE FLAG?

你以為我怕冒犯國旗嗎？

IS THAT-- OKAY.

是... ... 好吧。

ACCORDING TO CPAC-- I JUST HAVE TO CHECK.

根據CPAC -- 我只是要檢查。

WHEN YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME AND WALK AWAY I HAVE TO MAKE

當你背對著我離開時，我必須要做的是

SURE THERE'S A REASON FOR YOU REMOVING YOURSELF FROM THE ROOM.

你把自己從房間裡趕出來肯定是有原因的。

ACCORDING TO CPAC, IT'S TIME TO STAND UP FOR AMERICANS WHOSE

根據CPAC的說法，現在是時候為美國人站出來了，因為他們的生活方式。

VIEWS HAVE GOTTEN THEM "CANCELED."

觀點已經讓他們 "取消 "了。

WHICH IS WHY THEY KICKED THINGS OFF BY CANCELING AN APPEARANCE

這就是為什麼他們取消了一次露面就把事情拉開了。

FROM ONE OF THEIR PANELISTS FOR A HISTORY OF MAKING ANTI-SEMITIC

他們的一個小組成員對反猶太主義歷史的發言。

CLAIMS.

索賠：

GOOD-- CONSERVATIVES DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH ANYONE

LIKE THAT.

像這樣。

IT COULD SULLY THE GOOD NAME OF THE MOB WITH ALUMINUM BATS WHO

這可能是用鋁製球拍的 MOB 的好名字。

TRIED TO MURDER MIKE PENCE.

試圖謀殺邁克-彭斯。

THE CANCELED MAN IN QUESTION IS A RAPPER NAMED YOUNG PHARAOH,

問題中被取消的人是一個叫楊-法拉奧的強姦犯。

WHO WAS PULLED FROM THE LINEUP AFTER JOURNALISTS POINTED OUT

在記者指出後，誰被從隊伍中拉出來？

HIS RECORD OF PUBLICLY REJECTING THE EXISTENCE OF

他公開反對存在的記錄是：

JUDAISM OUTRIGHT.

JUDAISM OUTRIGHT。

OKAY, PRETTY BOLD STANCE TO REJECT THE EXISTENCE OF THE

好吧，漂亮大膽的姿態，拒絕存在的。

WORLD'S OLDEST MONOTHEISTIC RELIGION.

世界上最古老的單神教宗教。

THEY'VE BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILE, AND THEY WRITE IT ALL DOWN!

他們已經在這裡呆了一段時間了，而且他們把這一切都寫下來了！

IT'S KIND OF THEIR THING.

這是一種他們的事情。

YOU KNOW WHO COULD TELL YOUNG PHARAOH THAT JUDAISM EXISTS?

你知道誰能告訴年輕的法老，猶太教存在嗎？

OLD PHARAOH!

老法拉奧！

THERE'S A PRETTY FAMOUS OLD BOOK ABOUT IT!

有一本很有名的老書就是關於它的！

THERE'S EVEN A NEW BOOK ABOUT IT!

甚至還有一本關於它的新書！

CPAC APPARENTLY HADN'T KNOWN ABOUT YOUNG PHARAOH'S HISTORY OF

CPAC顯然不知道年輕的法老的歷史。

ANTI-SEMITISM, AND CALLED HIS VIEWS "REPREHENSIBLE," SAYING

反猶太主義，並稱他的觀點是 "可預見的"，說：

THEY HAVE "NO HOME WITH THEIR CONFERENCE."

他們沒有 "家與他們的會議。"

YES, CONSERVATIVES WOULD NEVER DOUBT THE EXISTENCE OF JEWISH

是的，保守派不會懷疑猶太人的存在。

PEOPLE.

人。

OTHERWISE, WHO'S OPERATING THE SPACE LASER?

否則，誰在操作空間激光器？

SPEAKING OF SPACE, IT'S TIME FOR "SPACE NEWS: MARS EDITION."

說到太空，是時候 "太空新聞：火星版。"

IT'S BEEN A BIG WEEK FOR SPACE.

本週對太空來說是重要的一週。

ON THURSDAY, NASA SUCCESSFULLY LANDED THE PERSEVERANCE ROVER ON

週四，美國宇航局成功地將 "永恆號 "降落在了地球上。

MARS.

火星：

AND YESTERDAY, THEY DROPPED THE HOT FOOTAGE.

而今天，他們丟掉了熱鏡頭。

LOOK AT THAT I HAD-DEF!

看看我有 -def!

MAN THE FIRST INTERPLANETARY LANDING IN FULL COLOR!

人類首次跨行星登陸全綵!

THE RED AND WHITE PARACHUTE, JUST LIKE THE APOLLO MISSIONS--

紅白傘，就像APOLLO任務一樣。

BUT IT'S MARS!

但它是火星！

THIS IS SO EXCITING!

這是如此激動人心！

IT'S LIKE I'M THERE!

就像我在那裡！

I CAN ALMOST TASTE MATT DAMON'S POOP POTATOES!

我幾乎可以嚐到馬特-戴蒙的便便洋芋！

AND HERE'S ANOTHER AMAZING SHOT OF THE JET-POWERED SKYCRANE

這是另一張噴氣式天空飛機的精彩照片。

LOWERING THE ROVER DOWN TO THE SURFACE.

把路虎降到地面上。

THAT'S AMAZING!

太神奇了！

AND YOU KNOW THAT SKYCRANE'S GOING TO HAVE A HELL OF A TIME

你知道天空飛機會有一段很好的時間。

PICKING THAT ROVER BACK UP.