Because you have this direct connection

因為這是一個可以直接接觸的方式

And some people are just inherently cruel

有些人真的是非常殘酷

Some people write very harsh things to famous people

有些人會寫給名人一些很刻薄的評論

without even thinking about the fact that they are people

卻沒想到這些名人也是有感情的「人」

So tonight I want to give you a chance to think about it

所以今晚我希望給你們一個反思的機會

When you don’t see you send the nasty tweet

你們不會看到你們所寫的惡毒tweet（Twitter訊息）

Is that…it can actually cause pain

但其實這些訊息都會造成傷害

Over the last few months, we’ve been asking some of our celebrity guests to read some actual tweets directly at them

在過去幾個月，我們邀請好幾位名人來賓親自唸出這些針對他們的tweets評論

and here they are for your amusement

相信這段內容會帶給你們歡樂的娛樂效果

And hopefully reflections

同時希望帶給你們一些反思

If Mike Piazza’s hair caught fire and someone put it out with a cast iron skillet, you’d have Danny McBride.

如果Mike Piazza的頭髮著火了，而有人使用鑄鐵鍋去滅火，你就會看到Danny McBride了

There’s a new show where James Van Der Beek plays James Van Der Beek

在某個新節目中James Van Der Beek的角色就是扮演他自己

guys get your backpacks n boots this is apocalypse I’m sure of it…

噢不各位快帶著你的背包和靴子，我確定這是啟示錄的開端啊

I would rather chop my arm off and f*** myself with my detached limb than watch “Katie Perry the movie”

我寧願把自己的手臂剁下來並用我的斷肢自慰，也不願去看Katie Perry的自傳電影

What the f*** is wrong with the world

這世界是怎麼了？？！！！

I'll pay you see that

我願意花錢請你看

Zooey Deschanel is overrated

Zooey Deschanel的評價真是被高估了

I think I am underrated

我覺得我是被低估了

Did you know that if you skinned Larry King and ironed out his leather,

你們知道如果將從Larry King身上剝下來的皮燙平

you could make enough coats to give 1 to every poor child in the America?

做成的外套數量足夠供給美國每個窮苦孩童一人一件嗎？

F*** David Spade

去你的David Spade

This is guy who gets right to it

呵他說對了

I liked Kristen Stewart more when she was a boy

Kristen Stewart是男生時我更喜歡她

Matt Leblanc looks so old. #whathappened

Matt Leblanc看起來超老，發生甚麼事了

If you climbed inside Snooki’s vagina it would probably be like the f*** pacific ocean

如果你爬進Snooki的陰道，那裏看起來應該像是一片太平洋吧

Ever since @matisyahu shaved, he looks like old, fat Justin Bieber

自從Matisyahu刮鬍子後，他看起來就像又老又胖的Justin Bieber

Thanks

…謝了

Dear God, give us 2pac back and we’ll give you Justin Bieber

神啊，請把2pac（饒舌歌手）還給我們，我們會拿Justin Bieber來交換的

Nothing bothers me. Nobody says about me.

沒有任何讓我煩躁的事… 沒有人給我評論啊啊啊