This lady doesn't like answering

這位女士不喜歡接電話

all these personal questions.

所有這些個人問題。

[light piano music]

[輕柔的鋼琴曲]

- [Interviewer] All right, so Maya,

- [採訪者]好吧，那麼瑪雅。

you're about to take Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire.

你即將參加《名利場》的普魯斯特問卷調查。

You will be asked 35 questions in rapid succession

你將被快速地連續問35個問題。

in order to reveal your true nature.

為了揭示你的真性情。

Once a question has been read out,

一旦一個問題被宣讀出來。

you have five seconds to answer before we move on.

在我們繼續之前，你有五秒鐘的時間來回答。

Upon completion of all 35 questions,

在完成全部35道題後。

you will have a chance to reflect

你將有機會反思

and even correct your answers.

甚至糾正你的答案。

You ready?

準備好了嗎？

- I mean, no, of course not.

- 我的意思是，不，當然不是。

This is so intense.

這真是太緊張了。

Why Vanity Fair, why?

為什麼是名利場，為什麼？

[light classical music]

[輕古典音樂]

- [Interviewer] What is your idea of perfect happiness?

- [採訪者]你心目中的完美幸福是什麼？

- Contentment.

- 滿意。

- [Interviewer] What is your greatest fear?

- 你最害怕的是什麼？

- Choking to death.

- 窒息而死。

- [Interviewer] What is a trait you most deplore

- [採訪者]你最痛恨的特質是什麼？

in yourself?

在自己身上？

- Self doubt.

- 自我懷疑。

- [Interviewer] What is a trait you most deplore in others?

- [採訪者]你最痛恨別人的什麼特點？

- Selfishness.

- 自私。

- [Interviewer] Which living person do you most admire?

- 採訪者】你最敬佩哪位活人？

- My dad.

- 我爸爸

- [Interviewer] What is your greatest extravagance?

- [採訪者]你最大的奢望是什麼？

- Greatest extravagance?

- 最大的奢望？

I don't know.

我不知道。

A home.

一個家

- [Interviewer] What is your current state of mind?

- [採訪者]你現在的心態是怎樣的？

- What is my current state of mind?

- 我現在的心態是什麼？

I'm okay.

我很好

- [Interviewer] What do you consider

- [採訪者]你認為

to be the most overrated virtue?

是最被高估的美德？

- Come back to me on that one.

- 再來告訴我這個問題。

- [Interviewer] On what occasion do you lie?

- [採訪者]你在什麼情況下會說謊？

- When I'm being interviewed on a camera

- 當我在接受攝影機採訪的時候。

answering questions that feel personal.

回答讓人感覺很有個性的問題。

- [Interviewer] What do you dislike most

- 你最不喜歡的是什麼？

about your appearance?

關於你的外表？

- I want calf muscles.

- 我想要小腿肌肉。

- [Interviewer] Which living person do you most despise?

- [採訪者]你最看不起哪個活人？

- Donald Trump.

- 唐納德-特朗普

- [Interviewer] What is the quality

- [採訪者]品質如何？

that you most like in a man?

你最喜歡的男人是什麼？

- Kindness.

- 善良。

- [Interviewer] What is the quality

- [採訪者]品質如何？

you most like in a woman?

你最喜歡的女人？

- The ability to be there for another, to nurture.

- 能夠為他人著想，培養。

- [Interviewer] Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

- [採訪者]你最喜歡用哪些詞或短語？

- I think we all say "thank you so much" too much.

- 我想我們都說了太多的 "謝謝"。

- [Interviewer] Who or what is the greatest love

- 最大的愛是誰或什麼？

of your life?

你的生活？

- My dad.

- 我爸爸

- [Interviewer] When and where were you happiest?

- [採訪者]你什麼時候、什麼地方最開心？

- Every time I met one of my babies.

- 每次遇到我的寶貝們。

It's a pretty great joy.

這是一個相當大的快樂。

- [Interviewer] Which talent would you most like to have?

- 採訪者】你最想擁有哪種才能？

- To be able to sit down and play any instrument.

- 能夠坐下來演奏任何樂器。

- [Interviewer] If you could change one thing

- [採訪者]如果你能改變一件事的話

about yourself, what would it be?

關於你自己，會是什麼？

[Maya laughs]

[瑪雅笑]

- Oh boy.

- 哦，天啊

I'd like to become a better listener.

我想成為一個更好的傾聽者。

- [Interviewer] What do you consider

- [採訪者]你認為

your greatest achievement?

你最大的成就？

- My kids and Saturday Night Live.

- 我的孩子和週六夜現場。

- [Interviewer] If you were to die and come back

- [採訪者]如果你死而復生的話

as a person or a thing, what would it be?

作為一個人或一件事，會是什麼？

- My instinct is to say Beyonce,

- 我的直覺是說碧昂絲。

'cause I wanna be able to perform like that,

"因為我想能像那樣表演。

but I don't know her personally

但我不認識她

and she should be allowed to be herself.

而她應該被允許做自己。

No one should come back as her,

沒有人應該以她的身份回來。

but boy, it looks like a lot of fun.

但男孩，它看起來像一個很大的樂趣。

- [Interviewer] Where would you most like to live?

- [採訪者]你最想住在哪裡？

- Hawaii.

- 夏威夷

- [Interviewer] What is your most treasured possession?

- [採訪者]你最珍視的財產是什麼？

- Prince's belly chain.

- 太子的肚皮鏈。

- [Interviewer] What do you regard

- [採訪者]你認為

as the lowest depth of misery?

作為最低的苦難深度？

- Having no hope.

- 沒有希望。

- [Interviewer] What is your favorite occupation?

- 你最喜歡的職業是什麼？

- I like what I do.

- 我喜歡我的工作。

I like performing.

我喜歡錶演。

I don't like all the other stuff,

我不喜歡所有其他的東西。

but I like the performing part.

但我喜歡錶演的部分。

I don't like, I don't like being on camera,

我不喜歡，我不喜歡上鏡。

but I like performing.

但我喜歡錶演。

- [Interviewer] What is your most marked characteristic?

- [採訪者]你最顯著的特點是什麼？

- Like physically, other than my moles or what?

- 比如身體上，除了我的痣還是什麼？

Like my personality?

喜歡我的個性嗎？

- [Interviewer] What do you most value in your friends?

- 採訪者】你最看重朋友的什麼？

Sorry.

對不起，我不知道

- Oh, that was my answer?

- 哦，這就是我的答案？

That was my answer, okay.

這是我的回答，好吧。

- [Interviewer] What do you most value in your friends?

- 採訪者】你最看重朋友的什麼？

- Feeling seen and laughing.

- 感覺被看到了，笑了。

- [Interviewer] Who are your favorite writers?

- [採訪者]你最喜歡的作家是誰？

- I would say Anne Lamott.

- 我會說安妮-拉莫特。

- [Interviewer] Who is your hero of fiction?

- [採訪者]誰是你小說中的英雄？

- Book hero?

- 書中英雄？

Well I do love Rosie from Anne Lamott's book "Rosie",

我很喜歡安妮-拉莫特的《羅西》一書中的羅西。

but I kinda love her mom more.

但我更喜歡她的媽媽。

- [Interviewer] Which historical figure

- 哪個歷史人物

do you most identify with?

你最認同的是什麼？

- There ain't nobody like this.

- 沒有人像這樣。

Maybe I'd go May West, but that's not right.

也許我會去梅西，但這是不對的。

I wish it were Madeline Kahn.

我希望是瑪德琳-卡恩

- [Interviewer] Who are your heroes in real life?

- [採訪者]你在現實生活中的英雄是誰？

- My nanny, who became more of my wife.

- 我的保姆，她更像是我的妻子。

The word nanny sounds really archaic and lame

保姆這個詞聽起來真的很老套，也很蹩腳

and doesn't provide what I've experienced,

並沒有提供我所經歷的。

which is creating your own family

這是在創建自己的家庭

in a time where we don't live in villages anymore

在我們已經不再住在村子裡的時候

and the best thing you can give a child

而你能給孩子最好的東西

is a sense of community.

是一種社會意識。

- [Interviewer] What are your favorite names?

- [採訪者]你最喜歡的名字是什麼？

- My kids' names are my favorite names.

- 我孩子的名字是我最喜歡的名字。

I love my mom's name, Minnie,

我喜歡我媽媽的名字，米妮。

and I love that she was named after her grandmother, Minnie.

我喜歡她的名字是以她奶奶的名字命名的，米妮。

- [Interviewer] What is it that you most dislike?

- [採訪者]你最不喜歡的是什麼？

- There's a lot I dislike,

- 我有很多不喜歡的地方。

I'm just gonna be honest with you about that one.

我只是要跟你說實話那一個。

My answer to that is rudeness.

我的回答是無禮。

I see no point in it.

我看不出有什麼意義。

Unless someone is taking advantage of me,

除非有人佔我便宜。

that's when I pounce.

這時候我就會撲上去。

- [Interviewer] What is your greatest regret?

- [採訪者]你最大的遺憾是什麼？

- Not buying an apartment in New York.

- 不買紐約的公寓。

- [Interviewer] How would you like to die?

- [採訪者]你想怎麼死？

- I don't want to.

- 我不想這樣

- [Interviewer] What is your motto?

- 你的座右銘是什麼？

- Do people have mottos?

- 人們有座右銘嗎？

I feel like if I had a motto, I'd be happier.

我覺得如果我有一個座右銘，我會更快樂。

I think the day that I have a motto

我想有一天，我有一個座右銘。

is the day that I've made it as a human being.

是我做人的日子。

- [Interviewer] All right, that completes

- [採訪者]好的，這就完成了。

the Proust Questionnaire.

普魯斯特問卷調查。

- Oh thank God, that was awful.

- 哦，謝天謝地，那是可怕的。

- [Interviewer] What made that so awful?

- [採訪者]是什麼原因讓它如此可怕？

- I don't like having to share privacy publicly.

- 我不喜歡公開分享隱私。

Every once and a while, I think it's okay,

偶爾，我覺得還不錯。

but I guess I've realized that I like it on my own terms.

但我想我已經意識到，我喜歡它在我自己的條件。

- [Interviewer] Well, having said that,

- [採訪者]好吧，說到這裡，

do you mind if I dig in on a couple of these?

你介意我挖在一對夫婦的這些？

- It's too late, we've already done it.

- 太晚了，我們已經做到了。

Go for it.

去吧

- [Interviewer] When I asked,

- [採訪者]當我問：

"What do you consider to be the most overrated virtue",

"你認為最被高估的美德是什麼"。

you said,

你說的。

- Come back to me on that one.

- 再來告訴我這個問題。

- [Interviewer] I'm coming back to you.

- [採訪者]我回到你身邊。

What do you think is the most overrated virtue?

你認為最被高估的美德是什麼？

Or why do you find that question difficult to answer?

或者你為什麼覺得這個問題很難回答？

- I guess I find it difficult to answer

- 我想我很難回答

'cause it's sort of picking at

"因為它的排序挑在

people's maybe well-intentioned ideas,

人的也許是善意的想法。

but maybe not all virtues are well-intentioned.

但也許不是所有的美德都是善意的。

Maybe that's, maybe I'm coming at it from the wrong angle.

也許是，也許是我的角度不對。

I'm drawing a blank, it's weird.

我腦子裡一片空白，很奇怪。

Am I not a virtuous person?

我不是一個有德行的人嗎？

Is that what's wrong with me?

這就是我的問題所在嗎？

- [Interviewer] You said your greatest fear is,

- 你說你最害怕的是：

- Choking to death.

- 窒息而死。

- [Interviewer] Why is that?

- [採訪者]為什麼會這樣？

- I don't know, which terrifies me beyond repair.

- 我不知道，這讓我害怕得無以復加。

My guess is it simply makes me think I'm going to die

我猜想這只是讓我覺得自己會死而已

if I can't breathe.

如果我不能呼吸，

I think that's a fair assessment.

我認為這是一個公平的評價。

And I like being alive, and I like being able to breathe.

我喜歡活著，我喜歡能夠呼吸。

- [Interviewer] You said that the trait

- [採訪者]你說的特質是...

you most deplore in yourself is,

你最痛惜的是自己。

- Self doubt.

- 自我懷疑。

- [Interviewer] When you do you experience self doubt?

- [採訪者]當你遇到自我懷疑的時候？

- I think sometimes we hard-wire ourselves early on

- 我覺得有時候我們很早就給自己下了硬性命令

to not be so kind to ourselves,

不要對自己這麼好。

and I don't think I'm alone in that.

我不認為我是一個人在那。

So sometimes it's just a matter of looking at things

所以，有時候看問題就是看問題的角度

as though I were looking at someone I love

彷彿在看我愛的人

outside of myself.

在我自己之外。

That really helps.

這真的很有幫助。

- [Interviewer] You said you lie,

- [採訪者]你說你說謊。

- When I'm being interviewed on a camera

- 當我在接受攝影機採訪的時候。

answering questions that feel personal.

回答感覺是個人的問題。

- [Interviewer] Did you lie on any of these questions?

- [採訪者]你在這些問題上有沒有說謊？

- Sure.

- 當然可以

I mean, I think that sometimes in these situations,

我的意思是，我認為，有時在這些情況下，

my instinct over the years has been to make it more funny

多年來，我的直覺是讓它更有趣

than serious because I don't wanna seem like a sad sack,

因為我不想讓人覺得我是個悲哀的人。

and I'm also protecting myself.

而我也在保護自己。

I'm sensitive, man.

我很敏感，夥計。

I'm sensitive, so I try to protect the things

我是個敏感的人，所以我想保護那些東西

that I know I'm not gonna be able to handle,

我知道我無法處理。

but I'm also fiercely protective of my loved ones,

但我也激烈地保護著我的親人。

and so I try to keep this about work, and it's confusing

所以我試著讓這一切與工作有關，它是混亂的。

'cause we live in a time when people wanna know

因為我們生活在一個人們想知道的時代。

what you smell like and I could've easily done this

你聞起來像什麼，我可以很容易地做到這一點。

in the center of my home with people buzzing around me,

在我家的中心，周圍的人都在圍著我嗡嗡叫。

and some people are into that.

而有些人卻喜歡這樣。

I'm not into that, so I guess, yeah.

我不喜歡這樣，所以我想，是的。

I'm a granny like that.

我就是這樣的一個老奶奶。

- [Interviewer] Why do you think people say

- [採訪者]你認為為什麼人們會說

"thank you" too much, which I happen to agree with you on?

"謝謝 "太多，我正好同意你的觀點?

- Well it's not that they say "thank you" too much,

- 嗯，不是他們說 "謝謝 "太多。

I was being more specific to the phrase "thank you so much".

我是把 "非常感謝 "這句話說得比較具體。

We all say "thank you so much" too much.

我們都說了太多的 "謝謝"。

Which can sometimes sound incredibly insincere,

這有時聽起來非常不真誠。

especially when it's said dead faced with vocal fry.

尤其是當它被說的死不瞑目的時候，聲嘶力竭的炒。

"Thank you so much".

"太謝謝你了"。

That does not sound sincere to me,

我覺得這話聽起來並不真誠。

and that one gets me every time.

而那一個讓我每次。

I say "thank you so much" all the time too,

我也一直在說 "太謝謝你了"。

but I try to mean it.

但我試著去表達它的意思。

I wish, sometimes I try to find variety in it,

我希望，有時候我也會試著在裡面找找品種。

but I notice there is a very lazy way

但我注意到有一個非常懶惰的方法。

of showing appreciation, which is like,

的表示感謝，這就像。

"Oh, you don't really mean that

"哦，你不會真的是這個意思吧？

"but you know you're supposed to be nice

"但你知道你應該是好的

"so you're saying it to sound like you're a nice person,

"所以你說這話是為了讓人覺得你是個好人。"。

"but you're not."

"但你不是。"

- [Interviewer] You said that you consider,

- [採訪者]你說你認為：

- My kids and Saturday Night Live.

- 我的孩子和週六夜現場。

- [Interviewer] To be your greatest achievements.

- [採訪者]是你最大的成就。

Why is that?

為什麼會這樣？

- It was always a dream of mine to have kids,

- 生孩子一直是我的夢想。

and I think probably in the back of my mind,

我想可能在我的腦海裡。

to be part of a big family, and I can't believe

成為一個大家庭的一員，我不能相信。

that I was able to have that in my life,

我能夠在我的生活中擁有這些。

and that when I think back to all the hard things

而當我回想所有的困難事情時

about being pregnant or delivering a child,

懷孕或分娩；

I can't believe I did it.

我不敢相信我做了。

And I guess the same goes for Saturday Night Live,

我想《週六夜現場》也是如此。

because it was also a childhood dream.

因為這也是兒時的夢想。

I feel really proud of myself that I showed up for that,

我為自己能出現在這裡感到非常自豪。

and again, knowing what I know now about working there

再一次，我知道我現在對那裡的工作的瞭解

and how all-encompassing it was, I can't believe I did it.

以及它是多麼的包羅萬象，我不敢相信我做到了。

It was, I always joke with my girlfriends from there

是的，我經常和我的朋友們開玩笑，從那裡來的

that we're from a comedy army.

我們來自一個喜劇軍隊。

We really went through everything together,

我們真的一起經歷了一切。

and it was so physical and so emotional

它是如此的身體和如此的情感

and really hard work, so I think now that I'm tired,

和真的很辛苦，所以我覺得現在我累了。

it looks much harder from afar.

遠看難多了。

- [Interviewer] Did you say

- [採訪者]你有沒有說

your most treasured possession was,

你最寶貴的財產是：

- Prince's belly chain.

- 太子的肚皮鏈。

Yes.

是的，我知道

- [Interviewer] And if so, is there a story behind that?