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  • my first guest.

    我的第一個客人。

  • You've seen around two dope queens.

    你已經看到了兩個吸毒女王。

  • She has a podcast called Couples Therapy.

    她有一個播客叫夫妻治療。

  • Please welcome the very funny I only ec paragon.

    請歡迎非常有趣的我只生態典範。

  • I only thank you for being here.

    我只感謝你在這裡。

  • Thanks for having me, Moses.

    謝謝你邀請我,摩西

  • For looking.

    為了尋找。

  • Well, I've tried for this, you know, this is this is you in a week have been prepping for this.

    好吧,我已經試過了,你知道,這是你在一個星期內一直在準備這個。

  • You look great.

    你看起來很棒

  • Thank you for dressing up.

    謝謝你的打扮。

  • Well, honey, I need a reason I need a reason.

    好吧,親愛的,我需要一個理由,我需要一個理由。

  • They're just closed.

    他們只是關閉。

  • Sitting in the drawer there, sitting in the drawers.

    坐在那裡的抽屜裡,坐在抽屜裡。

  • They haven't been touched.

    他們還沒有被碰過。

  • Have you bought anything like any new clothing item yet?

    你有沒有買過什麼新的服裝用品之類的東西呢?

  • I will tell you something.

    我告訴你一些事情。

  • I bought three pairs of shoes, all heels, because they were on sale.

    因為打折,我買了三雙鞋,都是高跟鞋。

  • And I know I have nowhere to go.

    我知道我無處可去。

  • But I said you cannot past my ideal.

    但我說過你不能超越我的理想。

  • You can't.

    你不能這樣做

  • Yeah, I've done 22 pairs of shoes that issues have not been out yet.

    是啊,我做了22雙鞋,問題還沒有出來。

  • And now I don't want to take him out.

    而現在我不想帶他出去。

  • Too much time has passed or I'm like, I can't.

    太多的時間已經過去了,或者我喜歡,我不能。

  • I've been with me for this whole process.

    整個過程中,我一直陪著我。

  • Yeah, this is this is really weird.

    是啊,這是... ...這真的很奇怪。

  • And please tell me if I'm wrong about this, but I feel like for a lot of comedians.

    如果我說錯了,請告訴我,但我覺得對於很多喜劇演員來說。

  • They really need an audience.

    他們真的需要一個觀眾。

  • But for someone like you, at least the way you perform it was just re watching you two dope queens set.

    但對於你這樣的人來說,至少你的表演方式只是重新看你們兩個笨蛋皇后的表演。

  • And then some of your rants you do online.

    然後你在網上的一些咆哮。

  • It almost feels like you don't need an audio.

    幾乎感覺你不需要音頻。

  • Do your thing you just barrel through like this is my idea.

    做你的事,你就像我的主意一樣桶過。

  • You're either here or not.

    你要麼在這裡,要麼不在。

  • Is that something that you feel or do you still feel like thinking like I needed every 15 seconds?

    那是你的感覺,還是你還覺得我每15秒就需要想一想?

  • I miss an audience.

    我想念一個觀眾。

  • I miss it so much.

    我非常想念它。

  • I do feel like I needed to feel is, though my rant has done anything for anyone but myself.

    我確實覺得我需要感受是,雖然我的咆哮對任何人都有好處,但我自己卻沒有。

  • Do you know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • Like sometimes it's like, Who is that for you self indulgent fool?

    就像有時會說,誰是你這個自我放縱的傻瓜?

  • But if you have laughter, it's like, Wow, I've helped people.

    但如果你有笑聲,就會覺得,哇,我幫助了別人。

  • I've connected right.

    我已經連接好了。

  • I think that's always kind of helped me.

    我想這一直是一種幫助我。

  • I think that you know this idea that because I think part of why I started out being a little conversational and not to structured, I think initially started out out of being afraid I wouldn't get the laugh.

    我想,你知道這個想法,因為我想我為什麼開始是一個小對話,而不是結構化,我想最初開始是出於害怕我不會得到笑聲。

  • You know how, like, you know how sometimes in a comics, you know, they have that cadence because they know that laugh is supposed to come here, and I could never be sure.

    你知道如何,喜歡,你知道如何有時 在漫畫,你知道,他們有節奏 因為他們知道,笑是應該來這裡, 我永遠無法確定。

  • So I sort of never really gave myself those pauses or that sense of this is the one spot you're all supposed to crack up at.

    所以,我算是從來沒有給自己那些停頓,或者說這是你們都應該破解的一個點的感覺。

  • I know exactly what you're saying, because when you because as a comedian, you're watching that pause, and you you feel when it doesn't go well and someone's like And that was the whole watermelon.

    我完全知道你在說什麼,因為當你... ...因為作為一個喜劇演員,你在看那個停頓,你... ...你覺得當它不順利,有人像... ...那是整個西瓜。

  • So anyway, But you guys don't like that just Oh, the whole watermelon.

    所以無論如何,但你們不喜歡,只是哦,整個西瓜。

  • You know, you say it again, hoping you can kind of set it up and the extent to which you know, sometimes you might want that laugh to propel you forward.

    你知道,你再說一遍,希望你能把它設定好,你知道,有時候你可能會希望那笑聲能推動你前進。

  • And if you're not like I'm a propelled myself, is there any colloquialisms that you have a pet peeve with?

    如果你不像我自己是個推進者,有沒有什麼俗語是你最討厭的?

  • Like my just, for example, is just like, what else?

    比如說我的剛,就是喜歡,還有什麼呢?

  • What do you guys want to talk about?

    你們想聊什麼?

  • What do you mean?

    什麼意思?

  • What do you want to talk about?

    你想談什麼?

  • What do you want to talk about?

    你想談什麼?

  • Your the one that the lights on you?

    你是那個開燈的人嗎?

  • You know what?

    你知道嗎?

  • I've never liked, even though, like I wouldn't think about.

    我從來沒有喜歡過,即使,喜歡我也不會去想。

  • Only because you've asked.

    只是因為你問了。

  • I realized E never like for some reason, I'll leave you with this.

    我意識到E從不喜歡的原因,我就不說了。

  • There's something like about like, I'll leave you with this.

    有什麼東西像關於喜歡,我將離開你這個。

  • It was like when you get the light and you know you're about to wrap up, it's There's I don't know what it iss I don't know what it is about the phrase I'll leave you with this.

    就像當你得到光明,你知道你要收尾的時候,就會有我不知道這句話是什麼,我不知道這句話是什麼,我會把這個留給你。

  • That feels a little too.

    這感覺有點太。

  • Thank you, sir.

    謝謝你,先生。

  • Well, all right, master.

    好吧,好吧,主人。

  • Yeah, I think it's a way of It's a way of letting the hosts know that I know the light has happened, and this is gonna be longer than 30 seconds, right?

    是的,我認為這是一種方式,這是一種方式,讓主持人知道,我知道光已經發生了,這是要去長於30秒,對不對?

  • Right.

    好吧,我知道了

  • What?

    什麼?

  • That means I am gonna run the light, so I'll leave you with this.

    這意味著我要去跑路了,所以我把這個留給你。

  • So growing up, it wasn't always easy.

    所以,成長的過程,並不總是輕鬆的。

  • Full one man show there.

    完全是一個人在那裡表演。

  • So you've had the podcast to really keep you a busy but complicated things.

    所以你的播客真的讓你忙得不可開交,但複雜的事情。

  • You do it with your husband s.

    你和你丈夫的做。

  • So it is like a work relationship.

    所以,這就像是一種工作關係。

  • Has that been beneficial for you guys?

    這對你們有好處嗎?

  • Or have you noticed that, like, just couple fights kind of bleed into what would essentially be a work fight?

    或者你有沒有注意到,就像,只是情侶打架那種出血 到什麼將基本上是一個工作戰鬥?

  • Well, here's the thing.

    好吧,事情是這樣的

  • I think if you are living with your partner in the panda me, you're probably struggling with distance, wanting some of it.

    我想,如果你和你的伴侶生活在熊貓我的身邊,你可能正在為距離而苦惱,想要一些。

  • Okay, getting a break.

    好吧,得到一個突破。

  • Okay, Moses, I've always said before pandemic, I said, the key to relationship.

    好吧,摩西,我一直說,在流行之前,我說,關係的關鍵。

  • You gotta miss a bitch.

    你會錯過一個婊子。

  • Okay, You gotta have some time Where you ain't seeing that person's face.

    好吧,你必須有一些時間 你是不是看到那個人的臉。

  • Moses, if you want love toe work.

    摩西,如果你想要愛的腳趾工作。

  • And so here we are in the pan.

    於是,我們就在這鍋裡。

  • Demi.

    Demi.

  • It's an apartment, honey, it's an apartment.

    這是一個公寓,親愛的,這是一個公寓。

  • You know, I will sneeze in the living room.

    你知道,我會在客廳裡打噴嚏。

  • He'll say, Bless you from the office and I don't like it.

    他會說,在辦公室裡祝福你,我不喜歡這樣。

  • I don't like that is no privacy.

    我不喜歡,是沒有隱私。

  • No, I'm also quarantine with my partner, and it's a one bedroom.

    不,我和我的伴侶也在隔離,而且是一房間。

  • I mean, it's shutters is book covers the bedroom.

    我的意思是,它的百葉窗是書覆蓋的臥室。

  • There's there's nothing e here, like mouth sounds in the next room E here, someone's mouth working e No, it's too much.

    這裡什麼都沒有,就像隔壁房間裡的口音一樣 這裡,有人的嘴在工作 不,這太過分了。

  • And so then when?

    那麼然後什麼時候?

  • Like so then we go to do the pod, and I find that the hardest thing is just having something to talk about.

    就像這樣,然後我們就去做播客,我發現最難的事情就是有話可說。

  • You know, like I know some people have started podcast in the pandemic, and I'm like, there's literally less to say than ever.

    你知道,就像我知道有些人已經開始播客 在流行病,我想,有字面上比以往任何時候都少說。

  • Yeah, you know, like I'm like, What's the new episode?

    是啊,你知道,就像我一樣,什麼是新的情節?

  • What we do, we walk to the couch.

    我們要做的,就是走到沙發上。

  • I don't have anything to bring to this podcast.

    我沒有什麼可以帶給這個播客的。

  • Moses.

    摩西

  • Yeah, What does feel like even the small shows I've been doing in backyards does feel like everyone's talking about the same thing because everyone is home.

    是啊,感覺到的是,即使是我在後院做的小節目,也會感覺到大家都在談論同樣的事情,因為大家都在家。

  • Everyone has the same stir crazy and in the same news cycle.

    每個人都有同樣的瘋狂的攪拌,在同一個新聞週期。

  • So it's really hard to be like I accidentally bumped into this person on the bus.

    所以真的很難做到像我在公車上不小心撞到這個人一樣。

  • There's no personal takes anymore, right?

    現在已經沒有個人的需求了吧?

  • I find I've been going to the past if that makes sense, like just like thinking about stuff where I'm like Oh, yeah, that childhood memory might make for a funny story or that phone call with my aunt could be something.

    我發現我已經去了過去,如果這是有道理的,就像只是喜歡思考的東西,我想,哦,是的,童年的記憶可能會使一個有趣的故事或電話與我的阿姨可能是什麼。

  • You know, I need stuff that I would have never brought up before, But I'm like, honey, I'm digging.

    你知道,我需要的東西,我以前從來沒有提出來, 但我想,親愛的,我挖。

  • I'm just kick up family drama for material, you know, just remember that that that faked a heart attack that really, really get into it just to generate material, because it is a point where, yes, it is hard to have a new experience that is original and then to the turnaround of material.

    我只是踢起家庭劇的材料,你知道,只記得,那個假裝心臟病發作,真的,真的進入它只是為了產生材料,因為它是一個點,是的,很難有一個新的經驗,是原創的,然後到材料的轉折。

  • Have you done any any outside?

    你在外面做過什麼嗎?

  • No, I haven't been e.

    不,我還沒有被E。

  • I haven't been out.

    我還沒出去過

  • How's it been?

    最近怎麼樣?

  • It's been awful.

    它是可怕的。

  • Everything that would have been a hell gig last year that you'd be like, Absolutely not.

    去年的一切都會是地獄般的演出,你會說,絕對不會。

  • I'd rather eat a gun is now like, Hey, thank you so much for having me on that show.

    我寧願吃槍現在是這樣的,嘿,謝謝你這麼多的有我在那個節目。

  • Would love to come back in two weeks.

    很想兩週後再來。

  • So every like outdoor performing for cars performing for clap machines, the worst case scenario is just a small taste of what it used to be.

    所以,每像戶外表演為汽車表演為拍手機,最壞的情況也不過是以前的小味道。

  • So then, that makes it the best show on the material.

    那麼,這也就成了材料上最好的節目。

  • More to your question is like the material needs to turn over even faster now, right?

    你的問題更多的是像現在的材料需要更快的翻身吧?

  • Because so much has happened.

    因為發生了太多的事情。

  • If you do something about game stop people like, Wow, she's dusty E.

    如果你做一些關於遊戲停止的人喜歡,哇,她的灰塵E。

  • That was like two hours ago.

    那是兩小時前的事了

  • That happened, right?

    發生了,對嗎?

  • Right.

    好吧,我知道了

  • Did you buy any stock?

    你有沒有買股票?

  • Uh, no.

    呃,沒有。

  • I don't know anything about it.

    我什麼都不知道。

  • And I also aware that it's not interesting to say I don't know anything about this.

    而且我也意識到,說我什麼都不知道,是沒有意思的。

  • It's like the guys like sports, sports, sports like, Yeah, I just I perspective it.

    這就像男人喜歡運動,運動,運動一樣,是的,我只是我透視它。

  • I don't get it.

    我不明白

  • I tried to learn about it early.

    我試著早早地瞭解它。

  • Inquire because especially cause I was like, You know what?

    詢問,因為特別是因為我當時想,你知道嗎?

  • If we all about to die, I need some bunker money.

    如果我們都快死了,我需要一些掩體錢。

  • And I felt like these old white men, they got bunker money and I said, I'm a learn.

    而我感覺這些老白叟,他們拿到了碉堡錢,我說,我是個學問。

  • I'm a learned.

    我是個有學問的人。

  • And then you girl bought some moderna stock and sold it immediately before it became before it became money.

    然後你這個女孩買了一些modernna股票,在它變成之前立即賣掉,然後再變成錢。

  • So I don't know what I'm doing.

    所以我不知道自己在做什麼。

  • Moses.

    摩西

  • What I'm telling you is, I don't know what I'm doing after, you know, before I bought it, when it was maybe when it was low, baby.

    我告訴你的是,我不知道我在做什麼後,你知道,在我買它之前,當它是也許當它是低,寶貝。

  • Oh, and no, no profit.

    哦,還有,沒有,沒有利潤。

  • Because I didn't understand that you're supposed to hold on to these things for a long time.

    因為我不明白,你應該把這些東西拿著很久。

  • I didn't know until you said that you didn't know that you should hold on to it.

    直到你說你不知道你應該堅持下去。

  • And I was like, Well, it's not moving.

    我當時想,好吧,它不動了。

  • No one seems to be It's not moving.

    似乎沒有人在動。

  • So I guess I'll just give this back.

    所以我想我還是把這個還給你吧。

  • And I thought you almost just, like, traded it.

    我想你幾乎只是,喜歡,交易它。

  • Do you know?

    你知道嗎?

  • I mean, like, I pretty much just like I was like, OK, I gave you this.

    我的意思是,像,我幾乎只是喜歡我很喜歡, OK,我給你這個。

  • Now give me that money back, and it's like That's not what just happened.

    現在把錢還給我,就像剛才發生的事情不是這樣的。

  • Girl, you just sold stocks.

    姑娘,你剛賣了股票。

  • I just thought I was getting my money back at the height at the height of their success.

    我只是覺得我在他們成功的高峰期拿回我的錢。

  • Yeah, I was getting a refund.

    是的,我得到了一個退款。

  • I have enough to worry about with social Media and try to post to, like, Then worry about my Robin Hood at.

    我有足夠的擔心與社交媒體,並嘗試發佈到,喜歡,然後擔心我的羅賓漢在。

  • I feel like you've kept on track because these things is you could easily find distractions that would take you away from the larger goal.

    我覺得你已經保持在軌道上,因為這些事情是你很容易找到分心,會讓你遠離更大的目標。

  • E think you wanna be a performer?

    你以為你想當演員嗎?

  • You wanna be a writer?

    你想成為一個作家?

  • A performer.

    一個表演者。

  • And I think the podcast is allowing you to do that.

    而我認為播客就是讓你這樣做。

  • You're still get it in your voice out there.

    你還是要用你的聲音去表達。

  • Your girls doing instagram videos.

    你的女孩做instagram視頻。

  • I just need to know that someone seeing me, Yeah.

    我只需要知道有人看到我,是的。

  • Accurate.

    準確。

  • Incredibly accurate.

    不可思議的準確。

  • Your trader Joe's rat went pretty well online.

    你的商人Joe的老鼠在網上很順利。

  • I connected with that.

    我與之相通。

  • Did you connect with that content?

    你和這些內容有聯繫嗎?

  • Do you go to T J?

    你去T J嗎?

  • Yeah, well, we go very rarely.

    是啊,我們很少去。

  • We have been immune compromised person with us moms.

    我們一直是免疫力受損的人與我們媽媽。

  • Oh, it is.

    哦,它是。

  • I go in a full gray hazmat suit gas mask.

    我穿著全套灰色防毒服防毒面具去。

  • So I get people like taking photos of me liberal cook.

    所以,我得到的人喜歡拍我自由派廚師的照片。

  • Uh, but exactly.

    呃,但確切地說。

  • You said you have people should look it up.

    你說你有的人應該查一下。

  • I mean, you have a whole game plan to go in there.

    我的意思是,你有一個完整的遊戲計劃去那裡。

  • Yeah, I think it got me as you were talking about how people were smelling fruit.

    是啊,我想你說到人們如何聞到水果的味道時,我就明白了。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Like they're taking off their masks to get this good.

    就像他們摘下面具才會有這麼好的效果。

  • E mean lemon.

    E是指檸檬。

  • Like Moses.

    像摩西一樣

  • It's a panda.

    這是一隻熊貓。

  • Demi in and out.

    黛米進進出出。

  • You ain't kindergarten.

    你又不是幼兒園。

  • You ain't kindergarten.

    你又不是幼兒園。

  • They up in here trying to get the right pissed.

    他們在這裡試圖讓權利生氣。

  • It's like Henny, this is survival.

    就像亨尼,這就是生存。

  • Also, it's Trader Joe's.

    還有,這是Trader Joe的。

  • You're no culinary expert.

    你又不是烹飪專家

  • Okay?

    好嗎?

  • We're all in T.

    我們都在T。

  • J because the price is right.

    J因為價格合適。

  • So if you could just back up on that whole thing because I will tell you the last time I went because I go to Trader Joe's now every 6 to 8 weeks, you know, uh, me and my betrothed, we each take a cart, honey.

    所以如果你能把整個事情倒回去的話... ...因為我會告訴你我最後一次去... ...因為我現在每6到8個星期去一次Trader Joe's超市,你知道,呃,我和我的未婚妻,我們每個人都坐一車,親愛的。

  • So you got two carts piled high by the end, but I went in.

    所以你最後有兩車堆積如山,但我進去了。

  • I have asthma, and I was allowed to go during senior hours, honey.

    我有哮喘病,我被允許在高三時間去,親愛的。

  • So I was there.

    所以我在那裡。

  • It opens at eight.

    八點開門

  • I was there at 8.

    我8點就到了

  • 15.

    15.

  • Ooh, that was beautiful.

    哦,那是美麗的。

  • That was beautiful.

    那是美麗的。

  • I'm telling you, it was just us and like 11 old people.

    我告訴你,只有我們和11個老人。

  • But this is what I'll tell you again at 8:15 a.m. Already out of cornflakes.

    但這是我早上8點15分再告訴你的,已經沒有玉米片了。

  • Come on, come up.

    來吧,上來吧。

  • Come on.

    來吧。

  • Already out.

    已經出來了。

  • Who's buying the corn flakes?

    誰在買玉米片?

  • The seniors.

    前輩們。

  • It's the lawn food they get.

    這是他們得到的草食。

  • You're getting looks from the other seniors because you look young and healthy.

    你被其他前輩看中是因為你看起來年輕健康。

  • Well, as soon as as soon as we walked up, it was funny cause I called in advance, you know, because that's like my one of my nightmares, this idea of like being turned away or being in front of people and then being like, get outta here.

    好吧,只要我們一走上去, 這很有趣,因為我提前打電話,你知道, 因為這就像我的一個我的噩夢, 這個想法就像被拒絕 或在人們面前,然後像,離開這裡。

  • Loser e.

    輸家e。

  • So I called in advance and it was literally like some guy named Mikey.

    所以我提前打了電話,簡直就像某個叫Mikey的人。

  • And I explained he was like, He's like, Yeah, you can come And I was like, Are you sure?

    我向他解釋說,他說,你可以來,我說,你確定嗎?

  • What did I say?

    我說什麼了?

  • If someone and he goes, say, I said you could come so literally walk up before I even get in there.

    如果有人和他說,我說你可以來,所以真的在我還沒進去之前就走了。

  • The bouncer at the door was like, This is senior hours and I was like Mikey said, I could come.

    門口的保鏢就說,現在是高三時間,我就像Mikey說的,我可以來。

  • I have asked my and I need you.

    我已經要求我的,我需要你。

  • She was like, Okay.

    她說,好吧。

  • Okay, go ahead.

    好吧,去吧。

  • You have a guy.

    你有一個人。

  • You have a Trader Joe's guy.

    你有一個商人喬的傢伙。

  • Now, Mike, you got to say his name on one of our lives.

    現在,邁克,你得在我們的生活中說出他的名字。

  • Become used to make a club.

    變得習慣於做一個俱樂部。

  • I know this guy.

    我認識這個人

  • Now you have a trader.

    現在你有了一個交易員。

  • Joe's guy helps you get cornflakes because it's easy on your stomach.

    喬的人幫你拿玉米片,因為它對你的胃很容易。

  • E wish we had more time to talk.

    我希望我們有更多的時間來談。

  • We have a couple war guests, but this was honestly very enjoyable to talk to you.

    我們有幾位戰友,但說實話,這個跟你聊得很開心。

  • It was so wonderful just to see another human being gorgeous.

    只見另一個人美滋滋的,真是太好了。

  • The podcast is called Couples Therapy.

    這個播客叫夫妻治療。

  • I highly recommend it.

    我強烈推薦它。

  • I was just listening to it just in preparation for this and then really, thoroughly enjoyed the show.

    我就是為了準備這個節目才聽的,然後真的非常喜歡這個節目。

  • I'm so glad I'm so glad.

    我很高興,我很高興。

  • And then there's grants online, so I owe me a paradise.

    還有網上的資助,所以我欠我一個天堂。

  • Thanks, guys.

    謝謝,夥計們。

my first guest.

我的第一個客人。

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