Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Thanks for being here.

謝謝你來這裡。

You've got a You got a big movie out going very well for you.

你有一個你有一個大的電影了 對你來說非常好。

And you.

還有你

Congratulations.

恭喜你啊

You have a new baby.

你有一個新的嬰兒。

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

New baby girl Month old.

新生女嬰月齡。

Right now?

現在？

Yeah.

是啊。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

Thank you.

謝謝你了

On it's amazing, because I have Ah, 21 month old girl is well, And when you have had her and you think you're gonna love this, this is the only child you're gonna love.

這是驚人的，因為我有啊，21個月大的女孩是好的，當你有她，你認為你會愛這個，這是唯一的孩子，你會愛。

And the fact that you're having another one.

而事實上，你有另一個。

Uh, you know, you don't think you'll be a love it as much because you think you know, But they say you adjust and it's amazing how you love your kids equally and, uh, it's not true.

呃，你知道，你不認為你會成為一個愛它一樣多，因為你認為你知道，但他們說，你調整，它是驚人的，你如何愛你的孩子平等，呃，這不是真的。

I don't care for the second one is, uh I wanna feel it.

我不關心第二個是，呃，我想感受一下。

I want to feel the love.

我想感受愛。

I just don't I don't know what it's just I can't fake it anymore either.

我就是不我不知道是什麼，只是我也裝不下去了。

I don't know what todo don't feel bad.

我不知道該做什麼，別難過。

Now we're gonna have another baby.

現在我們又要生一個孩子了

So this one has someone to play with.

所以，這個人有人玩了。

I'm not great.

我不是很好。

Insensitive to it.

對它不敏感。

Very good.

非常好

You're taking care of it.

你在處理它。

Absolutely.

絕對的

Now you're finding it.

現在你找到了。

Is it easier with the second child is the first time you have a kid.

有了二胎是第一次生孩子，會不會容易一些。

You go through so much the second time.

你第二次經歷了這麼多。

Is it any is very Yeah, it's very intense.

它是任何是非常 是的，這是非常激烈的。

The first child, because you're so worried about them.

第一個孩子，因為你很擔心他們。

I remember being in the hospital with the first child in the nurse would come in and say we're going to take the baby to measure her and do this stuff me.

我記得在醫院生第一個孩子的時候，護士會進來說，我們要帶著孩子去給她量尺寸，做這個東西我。

And I say, You know what?

我說，你知道嗎？

You're not going.

你不會去。

I'm gonna go with you wherever you go because your kid in the second when you kind of slack off a little bit I mean, the nurse is coming, you know?

無論你去哪裡我都會陪著你 因為你的孩子在第二輪的時候 你有點鬆懈了 我是說，護士就要來了，你知道嗎？

Okay, literally.

好吧，從字面上看。

A janitor stopped by and was like, I'm gonna take the kid.

一個看門人停了下來，就說，我要帶孩子走了。

I'm like, Sure, go ahead.

我想，當然，去吧。

Just we interrupt.

只是我們打斷一下。

Bring her back when you're done.

完事後把她帶回來

That'll be fine.

這將是罰款。

Problem at all.

一點問題都沒有。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Now, how is your wife dealing with two kids?

現在，你的妻子是如何處理兩個孩子？

Uh, it's it's It's much harder.

呃，這是它的這是更難。

It is.

它是。

It is a little crazy because, uh, she's starting to make rules with the two kids that they're gonna be crawling around the house and stuff.

這是一個有點瘋狂的，因為，呃，她開始制定規則 與兩個孩子，他們會是爬行周圍的房子和東西。

And she, uh, she made a rule of this kind of annoyed me to No, no shoes in the house.

而她，呃，她做了這樣的規則 惹惱了我，沒有，沒有鞋在家裡。

I've heard of people that do that.

我聽說有人這樣做。

No shoes anywhere.

沒有鞋子的地方。

You take them off before you come in, and it's so annoying because she makes me and force the rule to two people should look at the movers there.

你在進來之前把它們摘下來，它是如此的煩人，因為她讓我和強行規則兩個人應該看那裡的搬家公司。

Can you ask them to take their shoes off?

你能讓他們把鞋脫了嗎？

These guys?

這些人？

A big guys and they're moving stuff.

一個大塊頭，他們在搬東西。

And you know what?

你知道嗎？

You make a rule.

你制定一個規則。

You should enforce the damn thing.

你應該執行這個該死的東西。

I don't wanna do it.

我不想這樣做。

Sure.

當然可以

So I got it.

所以我得到了它。

Yeah.

是啊。

Job.

工作。

Yeah.

是啊。

So now I gotta go up to the guy I Look, I know you're moving a £700 refrigerator upstairs, but I'm gonna need you to take the rock ports off just to make it a little difficulty.

我知道你要把700英鎊的冰箱搬到樓上去 但我需要你把石頭口拆掉，讓它變得更難。

I'm gonna need you to do it in socks.

我需要你穿著襪子去做。

If you would.

如果你願意：

They had one more level to that.

他們還有一個層次。

I'm gonna throw raisins at you while you're doing it just to piss you off, just to see if it works.

我要在你做的時候朝你扔葡萄乾，只是為了激怒你，看看是否有效。

Yeah, eh.

是啊，嗯。

So what do you wear in the in the house?

那麼你在屋裡穿什麼呢？

You were socks, then we'll see.

你是襪子，那我們就拭目以待吧。

This is the thing.

這就是問題所在。

You have a choice in my house?

在我家你有選擇的餘地嗎？

Uh, nothing.

呃，沒什麼。

You have a choice.

你可以選擇。

You can wear socks, or you can.

你可以穿襪子，也可以。

She has, like, I don't know if you see, like in hospitals where they slipped those, like, booties over easy, the booties over your shoes.

她有一樣，我不知道你是否看到， 像在醫院裡，他們在那裡滑倒那些一樣， 靴子容易，在你的鞋子的靴子。

Like they surgeons where exactly?

就像他們的外科醫生到底在哪裡？

They're over the shoes.

他們是在鞋上。

And I wear them.

而且我還戴著它們。

And I hate that because they curl up in the front and I always forget that I have mom when I leave the house, and then I'm always afraid of I'm gonna get in a fight with some guy and it looks like the fat, lucky charms guy.

我討厭這樣，因為他們蜷縮在前面，我總是忘記我有媽媽，當我離開家，然後我總是害怕我會得到在與一些人打架，它看起來像胖，幸運的魅力的傢伙。

He's trying to kick someone's ass.

他想踢別人的屁股。

Not timid.

不是膽小。

Really?

真的嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Now with the kids or you Are you are you watching their programming with them?

現在與孩子們或你 你是你看他們的節目與他們？

Because that's what I with my kids.

因為我和我的孩子就是這樣的。

I gotta watch what they wanna watch.

我得看他們想看的東西。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Do you watch the Sesame Street and all that?

你看芝麻街什麼的嗎？

You have to.

你必須這樣做

It's great because it's like a baby sitter, you know?

這很好，因為它就像一個保姆，你知道嗎？

I mean, I love it, and the problem is you have to watch it with the kids.

我的意思是，我喜歡它，問題是你必須和孩子們一起看。

So you're locked into it and they repeat a lot, and that really pisses me off because just waiting for new episodes of Sesame Street to command.

所以你被鎖定了，他們重複了很多，這真的讓我很生氣，因為只是在等新的芝麻街的劇集來指揮。

Like The Sopranos.

就像《黑道家族》一樣

You're like, Come on, turn it over.

你想，來吧，把它翻過來。

Do something, then you see one.

做一些事情，然後你看到一個。

You excited?

你興奮嗎？

You think it's gonna be a new one.

你覺得會是一個新的。

And you like no near and far again.

而你又喜歡不近不遠。

That's what it is, E This time, near and far was great.

就是這樣，E這次，遠近都很好。

The first test.

第一個測試。

I loved it the first time, but it's like, Come on, keep me going.

我喜歡它的第一次， 但它的樣子，來吧，讓我繼續。

I got it down.

我把它記下來了。

Now I understand.

現在我明白了。

It s Do you know, this is a weird thing.

你知道嗎，這是一個奇怪的事情。

And I we wanted to surprise you a little bit with this, which is today.

而我... ...我們想給你一點驚喜，就是今天。

I'm coming to work walking down the west side and I ran into a woman.

我上班的時候走在西邊，碰到一個女人。

She stopped me and she said, You have Kevin James on your show tonight and I said, Yeah, I do.

她攔住我說，你今晚有凱文-詹姆斯的節目，我說，是的，我有。

And she said, This is This is crazy.

她說，這是 這是瘋狂的。

I miss fifth grade teacher, and yeah, she said I'm his fifth grade teacher.

我很想念五年級的老師，是啊，她說我是他的五年級老師。

Yeah, and so we thought it might be kind of cool if you could talk to her.

是啊，所以我們認為這可能是一種很酷 如果你能和她談談。

Mrs.

太太

Ms Grande.

格蘭德女士。

Yeah, that's her.

對，就是她

Yeah, I ran into on the street, and so we rigged it up.

是的，我在街上碰到了，所以我們把它裝了起來。

And you can't be here in person, but she's on the phone and I think be cool if they talked to me.

你不能親自來這裡，但她在電話裡，我想如果他們跟我說話，會很酷。

Oh, she's right here on the line.

哦，她就在這條線上。

Hello?

喂？

Hey.

嘿嘿

Hi.

嗨，我的天

Yes, this is Conan O'Brien.

是的，這是柯南-奧布萊恩。

You brand me today, and I'm sitting right here with Kevin James.

你今天給我打上了烙印，而我正和凱文-詹姆斯坐在這裡。

Would you like to speak to him?

你想和他說話嗎？

You said you would do this.

你說過你會這麼做的

And you did it.

而你做到了。

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

是啊，是啊，是啊，這是正確的。

Here.

給你

Here's Kevin James.

這是凱文-詹姆斯。

Ugo.

烏戈.

Cranberry.

小紅莓。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

Oh, Keo.

哦，基奧

No, It's the King of King of Queens.

不，是王中王的王中王。

Delightful that I was telling Cone and you were always a wonderful mathematician.

欣喜的是，我在告訴康恩，你一直是個出色的數學家。

Yes.

是的，我知道

You were calling the master magician.

你在叫魔術大師。

E show Kevin What?

E秀凱文什麼？

Six times?

六次？

6.

6.

36.

36.

You got it, honey.

你得到了它，親愛的。

E way Got 100 rabbits.

E路有100只兔子。

Okay, six of them get sick.

好吧，他們六個人生病。

Hey, how maney we got left?

嘿，我們還剩多少錢？

Uh, it's 94 Rabbit's.

呃，是94號兔子的。

Yeah, countin hey.

是啊，算起來，嘿。

Always would have diarrhea.

總是會拉肚子。

You know you did, Kevin.

你知道你做了，凱文。

What you got that?

你得到了什麼？

Die a man.

死一個人。

You know, we tell me you gotta change.

你知道，我們告訴我，你必須改變。

May take me.

可以帶我去。

Change me, member.

換我吧，成員。

Yeah, I remember changing you great is late for that.

是啊，我記得改變你大是晚了。

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊，是啊。

Oh, Chuck in Laramie looks terrific.

哦，拉萊米的查克看起來很不錯。

Thank you very much.

非常感謝你。

Oh, Yeah.

哦，是的。

Math skills are good and that, aren't they?

數學功底好，還有那個，不是嗎？

Yes, they're very I do a little math in there.

是的，他們很我在那裡做了一個小小的計算。

Yeah.

是啊。

You're gonna have to count all the money you make.

你得把你賺的錢都數一遍。

You're rich.

你很有錢

Hey.

嘿嘿

Yeah.

是啊。

Take a little break.

休息一下吧

Forward Kevin James will be right back.

前鋒凱文-詹姆斯會馬上回來。

Stick around.

呆在這裡。