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Epic Rap Battles Of History
Cleopatra
VS
Marilyn Monroe
Who's rap flows the dopest?
Marilyn Monroe's is
Overthrow pharaohs who oppose me like Moses
You could never kick my a**
so kiss my clitoris
This ugly hag and KassemG got matching noses!
You better hold more than your skirt, Miss Please
I'm the Queen of the Nile,
So just bow down to me.
Plus you've got so much experience down on your knees
Married a writer, but I don't even think you can read
You'll sleep with any ugly dude, who says he likes it hot
Even Joe DiMaggio
took a swing in your batters box
I'm a descendant of the Gods,
don't anger me trick.
You'll lose this battle like your bout with barbituates!
I had some ugly boys but you're forgettin' the others
Marlon Brando and the Kennedys,
while you f**ked your own brothers!
You think you're so chic up in your fancy palace,
Gettin' lo' on Marc Anthony,
tossing Caesar's salad!
You wear too much eyeliner for anyone to adore you.
You might as well be working the door at Sephora
I got an a** that won't quit!
You had an asp that got bit!
On The T*t
Somebody wrap this b*tch back up in a carpet!
You still got no children after your third marriage
You lost so many babies we should call you Miss Carraige
You've got an hourglass figure,
but THAT'S ABOUT IT!
A candle in the wind, that can't act for sh*t!
Translate this into hieroglyphs
Your sandy v***** has a 7-year-itch!
My best friends are diamonds,
You can't beat me
quit trippin'
Step off and walk your a** home like an Egyptian!
Captions by Superskarm22.