by now know what it is and why it counts. Love is the excited feeling we get in the

到現在已經知道它是什麼，為什麼它很重要。愛情是我們在興奮的感覺。

presence of someone of unusual accomplishment and talent – great intelligence or beauty

奇人異士

for the most part – whom we hope will reciprocate our interest and whom we badly want to touch,

在大多數情況下，我們希望他們會對我們的興趣作出迴應，我們非常想接觸他們。

caress and one day share our lives with.

撫摸，有朝一日與我們共度一生。

This definition sounds so plausible and enjoys such powerful cultural endorsement, we are

這個定義聽起來很有道理，而且享有如此強大的文化背書，我們是

apt to miss another vision of love altogether, this one focused not so much on the appreciation

容易完全錯過另一種愛情觀，這種愛情觀並不注重欣賞

of strength as on a tolerance of, and kindness towards, what is weak and misshapen.

力量，因為對弱小和畸形的東西的容忍和仁慈。

According to this vision, we display love when, on the way home, we come across an itinerant

根據這個設想，當我們在回家的路上，遇到一個流動人口時，我們就會表現出愛心。

drunk – weather-beaten and dishevelled, beer addled and ranting – and do not, for

喝醉了--飽經風霜，蓬頭垢面，啤酒上癮，胡言亂語--而不要，因為。

once, turn away and instead make the momentous internal step (with all the eventual outward

一次，轉身而去，轉而邁出內心的重要一步（與所有最終向外的）。

actions that might follow) of considering them as a version of ourselves, prey to the

可能隨之而來的行動），將他們視為我們自己的一個版本，成為我們的獵物。

same passions and distempers, visited by the same longings, upset by similar losses and

同樣的激情和苦惱，同樣的渴望，同樣的失落，同樣的不安。

worthy of their own share of compassion and tolerance.

值得他們自己的那份同情和寬容。

We show love too when we see a well dressed person shouting grandly and imperiously at

當我們看到一個衣冠楚楚的人氣宇軒昂地對著我們大喊大叫的時候，我們也會表現出愛意。

an airport, filled with self-righteousness, apparently bloated on their own self-regard,

一個機場，充滿了自以為是，顯然是對自己的自尊心膨脹了。

and do not dismiss them immediately as insane or entitled, but instead, take the trouble

不要立即把他們當作瘋子或有權的人，而是要花心思......。

to see the frightened vulnerable self beneath the bluster, when we grow curious as to the

虛張聲勢之下，看到受驚嚇的脆弱的自我，當我們開始好奇的時候。

sickness of the soul that might be operating just below the surface and are able to wonder

靈魂的病痛，可能只是在表面之下運作，並能夠想知道。

what has hurt them – and why they might be so scared.

是什麼傷害了他們--以及他們為什麼會如此害怕。

We show love when we see a small child throwing themselves on the floor in the aisles of a

當我們看到一個小孩子在過道里扔在地上的時候，我們就會表現出愛心。

supermarket, shouting that they want 'it' again and again, and do not focus only on

超市，一次又一次地喊著他們要 "它"，而不是隻關注於

how inconvenient it is to steer our trolley around them and how piercing and maddening

我們的手推車在他們身邊是多麼的不方便，多麼的刺眼，多麼的令人發狂

their screams are, but also feel how much we understand their frustration – and would

他們的尖叫聲，但也感覺到我們是多麼理解他們的挫折--並且會。

want to tell them that their pain is in its general form ours too and that we would also

想告訴他們，他們的痛苦也是我們的痛苦，而且我們也會

like to rest against a kindly adult's chest and hear 'I know, I know' until the pain

喜歡靠在一個善良的成年人的胸膛上，聽到'我知道，我知道'，直到痛苦為止。

ebbs.

ebbs。

However many songs celebrate the act, it is no particular feat to love someone who is

不管有多少歌頌的行為，愛一個人並不是特別的壯舉。

on their best behaviour, who looks beautiful and moves with grace through the world. What

在他們最好的行為，誰看起來美麗和優雅的移動世界。什麼？

really cries out for our attention is the love of what is crooked and gnarled, damaged

真正呼喚我們關注的是對那些歪歪扭扭的、受損的東西的愛。

and self-disgusted. In this definition, love is the effort required to imagine oneself

和自我厭惡。在這個定義中，愛是想象自己所需要的努力。

more accurately into the life of another human who has not made it in way easy to admire

更準確地進入另一個人的生活，誰也沒有使它在容易佩服的方式。

or even like them.

甚至喜歡他們。

In the Western tradition, it was the man from Nazareth who gave us the most memorable demonstrations

在西方傳統中，是那個來自拿撒勒的人給了我們最難忘的示範。

of this sort of love, who made it seem glamorous to love differently from the Romans and the

這種愛情，誰讓它看起來很有魅力，愛的方式不同於羅馬人和。

Greeks, to love the prostitute, the prisoner and the sinner, to show love to a wretch,

希臘人，要愛妓女、囚犯和罪人，要向一個可憐蟲表達愛意。

a catastrophe and an enemy. To extrapolate from the approach, a truly Christian dating

災難和敵人。從這個方法來推斷，真正的基督教約會

app would not merely highlight the beautiful and the dazzling, it wouldn't allow us to

應用程序將不僅僅是突出美麗和耀眼的，它不會允許我們

swipe away every slightly displeasing person at a stroke but would instead stop us arbitrarily

一竿子打死所有不順眼的人，反而會讓我們任意阻止。

at photographs of hugely challenging figures – malodorous lepers, shocking reprobates

在巨大的挑戰人物的照片 - 惡臭的麻風病人，令人震驚的叛逆者。

– and would command, with all the authority of divine intonation, 'Love! Here where

- 並以神聖的語調命令道："愛！在這裡...

it would feel so natural and so easy to hate, your duty is to love…'

"恨是那麼的自然，那麼的容易，你的責任是愛...

It's a measure of how we far forgotten everything to do with this sort of love, how committed

這是一個衡量我們如何遠遠地忘記了一切與這種愛有關的東西，如何承諾。

we are to love-as-admiration, that such a command would sound so peculiar and so laughable.

我們要把愛當做讚美，這樣的命令聽起來是那麼的奇特，那麼的可笑。

Yet we might say that nothing is more important than this love, that this is the love that

然而我們可以說，沒有什麼比這種愛更重要，這就是愛。

rescues nations from intolerance, that pauses wars, that halts recriminations, that calms

把各國從不容忍中解救出來，使戰爭停止，使仇恨停止，使平靜下來。

furies and that allows civilisation to continue. True love

憤怒，讓文明得以延續。真愛

involves precisely not giving someone what is their due, but giving them what they need

恰恰是不以其人之道還治其人之身，還治其人之所需。

in order to survive.

為了生存。