And, uh, he's just he's the reason I do.

而且，呃，他只是... ...他是我做的原因。

Stand up and doing his show was just like it was a little scary, cause it's like after this, what is there to live for?

站起來，做他的節目，就像它是一個有點可怕的，因為它就像在這之後，有什麼生活？

You know, like, when do you have these dreams?

你知道，比如，你什麼時候做這些夢？

I have a little bit of that with Conan, you know, it's only gotten better, and I've become, like friends with him.

我和柯南有一點關係，你知道的，只會越來越好，我已經和他成為了，像朋友一樣。

But, um, there are these moments where you get to meet the people that you've always wanted to meet, and then you're like, Okay, well, I don't really have any more goals in life.

但是，嗯，有這些時刻，你得到滿足的人 你一直想滿足， 然後你就像，好吧，好吧，我真的沒有 任何更多的生活目標。

It was like Conan Dave Matthews.

就像柯南戴夫-馬修斯一樣。

And I guess Jennifer Aniston is still have to meet her.

我想詹妮弗-安妮斯頓還是要見見她。

And then I can think I could die.

然後我可以認為我可以死。

A lot of work goes into a short late night state upset.

短暫的深夜狀態不安，要付出很多努力。

Join me, J.

加入我，J。

P.

P.

Buck.

巴克。

As I spotlight the comedians who came up with some of my favorite coin sets things is the set up.

當我聚焦那些想出一些我最喜歡的錢幣套路的喜劇演員的時候，事情就是套路。

Please welcome the very funny Nikki Glaser.

請歡迎非常有趣的Nikki Glaser。

You have a great Addison impression, which is just, uh, us.

你對艾迪生的印象很好，這只是，呃，我們。

Oh, okay.

哦，好吧。

Yeah, Yeah, I dio Oh, God, JP Oh, yeah, like it's just you just have to act like you're watching a squirrel almost get hit by a car.

是啊，是啊，我dio哦，天啊，JP哦，是啊，就像你只要裝作你在看一隻松鼠差點被車撞了。

That's just I always go into Anderson whenever I'm like, Oh, no, no, no.

這只是我總是去安德森 每當我想，哦，不，不，不。

Oh, God.

哦，天啊

Oh, like that's always money that before I go to for that E found a couple of photos, also of you backstage before the show.

哦，像那總是錢，之前我去為那E發現了一對夫婦的照片，也是你的後臺表演前。

I'm just here, so I want I want to show Let me know.

我只是在這裡，所以我想我想顯示 讓我知道。

This brings any sort of sense memory.

這帶來了任何一種意義上的記憶。

Oh my gosh, yes!

哦，我的天，是的！

Oh, this is the best because there's always whenever I do it, even whether I'm doing panel or when I did stand up, these guys, that whole open the curtains for you are so nice.

哦，這是最好的，因為總是有 每當我這樣做，即使我做面板或 當我做了站起來，這些傢伙，那整個打開窗簾 為你這麼好。

Everyone backstage and everyone at Conan is just so kind and friendly.

柯南的每一個後臺和每一個人都是那麼的善良和友好。

And I always just feel like God, I wanna work.

我總覺得天啊，我想工作。

It's just fun.

這只是好玩。

It's a fun day for me, and everyone's always excited.

對我來說，今天是個有趣的日子，大家總是很興奮。

I'm there.

我在那裡。

It just it always feels like my birthday when I'm there.

只是我在那裡的時候，總感覺像我的生日。

So I just remember talking to these two guys and feeling and just having some chit chat that eat that really calm my nerves.

所以，我只記得和這兩個傢伙哈拉，感覺和只是有一些哈拉，吃，真的平靜我的神經。

But, um, right now in this moment, I'm I don't think obviously, I'm nervous.

但是，嗯，現在在這一刻，我... ...我不認為明顯，我很緊張。

Look at me.

看著我

I'm, like, gripping that very hard.

我一樣，抓著那個非常難。

And my outfit is like, I remember getting fitted for this, And I was at the time I was doing an MTV show where they dressed me like a Barbie doll.

我的衣服是這樣的，我記得得到 適合這個，我是在當時我在做一個MTV節目 他們把我打扮得像一個芭比娃娃。

So this was still kind of in that realm of dressing like I was gonna be on MTV very soon, and yeah, but I was, like, very.

所以，這仍然是一種在該領域的打扮 就像我是要去 很快在MTV，是的，但我是一樣，非常，

At this point, I'm probably going over my jokes.

這時，我可能要把我的笑話說出來了。

I'm looking down.

我在往下看。

So I'm thinking about my jokes, thinking about the order, making sure I get it.

所以，我在想我的笑話，想好順序，確保我明白。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

And while also trying toe have a conversation with these two sweet gentlemen, this is backstage Still backstage Just before you walk out there.

同時也想和這兩位可愛的先生們聊一聊，這是後臺，還是後臺，就在你走出去之前。

Yeah, I have a moment with whoever is backstage and be like, I like your shoes.

是啊，我有一個時刻與誰是後臺 並像，我喜歡你的鞋子。

Like I like to have some kind of moment that grounds me and makes me feel like myself because I want to go out there and talk the same way that I talk, you know, backstage.

就像我喜歡有某種時刻，讓我覺得自己的基礎上，讓我覺得自己，因為我想去那裡，並談論同樣的方式，我說，你知道，後臺。

So I like to just be like, Oh, my God.

所以，我喜歡只是喜歡， 哦，我的上帝。

Wait.

等一下

What is that like?

那是什麼樣子？

Just have some sort of interaction So I think I'm always dying to, like, pose for a picture and be like you got it.

只是有一些互動 所以我想我總是很想，喜歡， 姿勢的照片，並像你得到它。

Like, just get me out of my head for a second so that I do this every time at your show.

就像，只是讓我離開我的頭 一秒鐘，所以我做這個 每次在你的節目。

Please welcome the very funny Nikki Glaser.

請歡迎非常有趣的Nikki Glaser。

Hello?

喂？

E to me too.

我也是。

I flew here a couple days ago from New York City.

幾天前我從紐約飛到這裡。

Whenever I fly, my mom always get so nervous.

每當我坐飛機的時候，我媽總是很緊張。

She's like what you call me when you land.

她就像你落地時對我的稱呼。

So I know you got in safely.

所以我知道你安全到達了。

I'm like how, But I don't call you and you just watch the news later.

我是喜歡怎麼，但我不給你打電話，你只是看新聞後。

E I love this joke more than you e will admit.

我比你更喜歡這個笑話，你不會承認。

Yeah, I will openly admit that this was me pushing you to do this joke.

是啊，我公開承認，這是我逼你開的玩笑。

I love this joke, JP But I know I knew this joke and I knew that it never gets what it deserves.

我喜歡這個笑話，JP但我知道我知道這個笑話，我知道它永遠不會得到它應得的東西。

And it makes me so mad even watching it out.

而且看出來了，我也很生氣。

First of all, I'm nervous as hell.

首先，我緊張得要死。

I'm holding the mic.

我拿著麥克風。

Weird.

很奇怪

I always hold my mic way too high.

我總是拿著我的麥克風太高了。

I'm nervous.

我很緊張。

So that wasn't helping the joke.

所以這對玩笑沒有幫助。

But this joke never does well.

但這個笑話從來沒有好的效果。

And this is one of the jokes that I'm gonna bring back and work on because this deserves more than it got, and it always doesn't get as much as it deserves.

這是一個笑話，我要帶回來，並在工作 因為這值得更多的比它得到了， 它總是不得到一樣多，因為它應得的。

So you're not wrong, and I'm so glad you believed in it.

所以你沒有錯，我很高興你相信它。

Your first joke never gets what it should because they're hearing your voice.

你的第一個笑話從來沒有得到它應該的，因為他們聽到了你的聲音。

They're getting used to you and the fact, even though you did say hello, nice to be here.

他們已經習慣了你和你的事實，雖然你說了你好，但很高興來到這裡。

You did just start cold.

你確實是剛開始冷。

Having another sacrificial lamb ahead of this joke would have helped the secret to stand up.

在這個笑話前面再來一個犧牲的羔羊，就能幫助這個祕密站起來。

It's not really being funny.

這不是真正的搞笑。

It's making the audience comfortable and know that you've you've got this and you've they can sit back and relax.

這是讓觀眾舒服，知道你已經你已經得到了這個，你已經他們可以坐下來放鬆。

Watching someone who's nervous, whether or not they're hilarious, is your bomb.

看一個人緊張的時候，不管他是否熱鬧，都是你的炸彈。

So you could be very unfunny and just look comfortable and people will laugh.

所以你可以很不幽默，只要看著舒服，大家就會笑。

That's just like a trick.

這就像一個把戲。

But this joke I'm nervous.

但這個玩笑我很緊張。

It requires too much of a leap in logic, and it's too much for the first show, but I don't regret it.

這需要太多邏輯上的跳躍，對於第一部劇來說，它太多，但我不後悔。

I'm glad we got it out of the way, and I'm excited to bring it back.

我很高興我們把它弄出來了，我很高興能把它帶回來。

Another option for an opener that you had just like you were recently.

另一個選擇，你有一個開局者，就像你最近。

You're a bad driver.

你是個壞司機。

And you were You were out.

而你... ...你被淘汰了

You had hit a deer, dear old man, and I hope he's OK.

你撞到了一頭鹿，親愛的老人家，我希望他沒事。

I left a note.

我留了一張紙條。

Yeah, that that joke, actually, Anthony doesn't like had a the is pretty much the same joke that he later put in a special.

是啊，那個笑話，其實，安東尼不喜歡有一個是差不多的笑話，他後來把在一個特殊。

And so I wasn't ever able to do that again.

於是，我就再也不能這樣做了。

But that joke, that joke would have been perfect.

但那個笑話，那個笑話就很完美了。

I mean, my my favorite opener, the one that always works and that I use all the time is I just I'm Nicky.

我的意思是，我最喜歡的開場白， 一個總是工作，我用所有的時間 是我只是我是尼基。

I just turned.

我剛剛轉身。

I just turned 27 in June of 2000 and eight or whatever.

2000年6月我剛滿27歲，8歲還是什麼。

You know, like what That one always gets them to just the shortest amount of time between you saying starting your first joke and the laugh is the best opener a a roommate.

你知道，像什麼 這一個總是讓他們只是最短的時間 你說開始你的第一個笑話 和笑是最好的開場白一個室友。

New York.

紐約：

She's not there much anymore because she just got a boyfriend or she's, like, super missing, but gonna hope for the best on that one.

她不在那裡了，因為她只是有一個男朋友 或者她的一樣，超級失蹤， 但會希望最好的那一個。

Her parents keep calling.

她的父母一直在打電話。

They're like, Have you seen her?

他們說，你見過她嗎？

I'm, like, check craigslist.

我，喜歡，檢查craigslist。

That's where I found her.

我就是在那裡找到她的。

So, trying to help, I'd put up missing posters but she told me not to use her printer without asking.

於是，想幫忙，我把丟失的海報貼上去，但她不問清楚就告訴我不要用她的打印機。

So my hands were tied.

所以我的手被綁住了。

You know, just like hers.

你知道，就像她的。

Mm.

嗯。

She's okay.

她很好。

Oh, man, if I'm gonna be honest, I was watching a lot of Amy Schumer around this time.

哦，夥計，如果我要去 說實話，我是看了很多 艾米舒默左右這個時候。

And like I am, just it's so hard for me.

而像我這樣的，只是對我來說太難了。

I've had to stop watching people I really like, because I will just sound like them.

我不得不停止觀察我真正喜歡的人，因為我將只是聽起來像他們。

And Amy was We were hanging out a lot at this time and like that was a total Amy Delivery.

而艾米是我們掛出了很多在這個時候，像這是一個總的艾米交付。

She's one of my favorite comedians of all time, so it makes sense.

她是我最喜歡的喜劇演員之一，所以很有意義。

But I just watched it and I go, Oh, like you haven't found like, obviously, I've found my style and the tone of the jokes, but I just go.

但我只是看了，我走了，哦，就像你還沒有找到喜歡的，很明顯，我已經找到了我的風格和笑話的語氣，但我只是去。

She like Schumer a lot.

她很喜歡舒默

It has been watching a lot of hers, and I was always, like, really dark with my jokes, like things girls missing and tied up somewhere.

一直在看她的很多東西，我總是，喜歡，真的很黑暗的笑話，就像東西女孩失蹤，綁在某處。

I would change it a lot, though, like now, like my hands were tied like hers probably are like I wouldn't say like hers are, I would have said like hers probably are.

不過我會改很多，就像現在，就像我的手被綁住了，就像她的可能是一樣，我不會說像她的是，我會說像她的可能是。

That was hit harder because I don't know where she is on Ben.

這話說得比較重，因為我不知道她在本。

I probably would have kept going with it like it's funny to see now how I would approach these, but this is This is fun.

我可能會一直這樣下去，就像現在看我如何接近這些，但這是這是有趣的。

I'm actually looking at this like she's a different part.

其實我看這個就像她是一個不同的角色。

She's not me.

她不是我

It's making it easier for me to watch.

這讓我更容易看。

E had to move out when my mom thought my vibrator.

E不得不搬出去，當我的媽媽認為我的振動器。

I had the same reaction I did when she found cigarettes in my purse when I was 16, I was like, Mom, it's not mine.

我16歲的時候，當她在我的錢包裡發現香菸時，我也有同樣的反應，我說，媽媽，這不是我的。

I'm holding on to it for a friend.

我替朋友保管著。

She had the same reaction to the because she made me use it until I got sick.

她也有同樣的反應，因為她讓我用它，直到我生病。

So I think I learned my lesson.

所以我想我吸取了教訓。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

It makes me so mad that that got an applause, right?

這讓我很生氣，得到了掌聲，對嗎？

Because I did not write that tag.

因為那個標籤不是我寫的。

I did write the first part because it was all true of me saying, I'm keeping it for a friend.

我確實寫了第一部分，因為這都是我說的真話，我給朋友留著呢。

And that's also what I used to say when she found pot.

這也是她發現大麻時我常說的話。

The joke of she made me use it until I got sick.

她讓我用它的笑話，直到我生病。

Waas written actually by my friend Harris Wittels, who has now passed.

其實是我的朋友哈里斯-威特斯寫的，他現在已經去世了。

So it's actually like a beautiful thing that this lives he like for me lives on and this joke and every time I ever, like, tell this joke on stage.

所以這其實是一件很美好的事情，這個生活，他喜歡我的生活，這個笑話，每次我曾經，喜歡，在舞臺上講這個笑話。

Sometimes it's just remember in the middle of my show, Um, I always think of him, but it is nothing more infuriating than when someone gives you a line and then it like it's the first applause you're like, I can't even take credit for that.

有時候，它只是記得在我的節目中間，嗯，我總是想著他，但它是沒有什麼更令人氣憤的比當有人給你的線，然後它像它的第一個掌聲，你喜歡，我什至不能採取的信用。

But that was that was a Harris Wittels.

但那是... ...那是哈里斯-維特斯。

It is so good That makes me so happy.

它是如此的好，讓我很高興。

I never knew that a lot of people that could have read that for you.

我從來不知道，很多人，可以為你讀。

That makes me the happiest that no, right.

這讓我最高興的是，不，對。

I love it so much he lives on with that disgusting joke.

我太喜歡他帶著那個噁心的笑話活下去了。

It was one of the comics who never, I never got to have on the show that I really feel disappointed that I never happened.

這是一個漫畫誰從來沒有，我從來沒有得到有在節目中，我真的覺得失望，我從來沒有發生。

And the fact just to hear that he did get that tag.

而事實上，只要聽到他確實得到了那個標籤。

He got a tag, a great tag that got an applause break.

他得到了一個標籤，一個偉大的標籤，得到了掌聲的休息。

I mean, he was such a great writer and comic.

我的意思是，他是這樣一個偉大的作家和漫畫家。

That's why he was so beloved by so many people.

所以他才會受到那麼多人的喜愛。

Yeah, exactly.

是的，沒錯。

He was so original and so cutting and so funny and had that ability to be adorable while saying something heinous.

他是那麼的新穎，那麼的切中要害，那麼的有趣，還有那種一邊說著令人髮指的話，一邊又很可愛的能力。

You were shielding your eyes and putting your head down for most of that.

你在大部分時間裡都在護著眼睛，把頭低下。

But I don't know if you noticed that you did look over to Conan.

但不知道你有沒有注意到，你確實看向了柯南。

That's what I like was like, Okay, I got this.

這就是我喜歡的是像，好吧，我得到這個。

And that is crazy that I didn't just That's a closer joke.

這是瘋了，我不只是 這是一個更接近的笑話。

I mean, first of all, it's so gross you don't drop that a minute.

我的意思是，首先，它是如此的噁心，你不下降，一分鐘。

45 in.

45英寸

But you know, I don't play by the rules, JP, how am I gonna end this?

但你知道，我不按規矩辦事，JP，我怎麼收場？

E The first guy was not special, you know.

E 第一個人並不特別，你知道的。

He was just the first guy to have, like, a really good argument for why we should, you know, because I was like, I don't think I'm ready.

他只是第一個傢伙有一樣， 一個真正的好論據 為什麼我們應該，你知道， 因為我很喜歡，我不認為我已經準備好了。

And he was like, Come on.

他說，來吧。

Thank you guys very much.

非常感謝你們。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

All right.

好吧，我知道了

So a great joke.

所以，一個偉大的笑話。

Delivery.

交付：

Ah, lot of things I would have done differently.

啊，很多事情我都會有不同的做法。

I'm happy with this set.

我對這一套很滿意。

Definitely.

絕對是

Like started the conversation with like, it was a great way to first meet Conan.

就像開始談話一樣，第一次見到柯南，這是一個很好的方式。

Now I want to say, Do you have when Conan came over?

現在我想說，你有柯南什麼時候過來的嗎？

Yes, this Is that e I was like, Okay, so he was so nice.

是的，就是這樣，我當時就想，好吧，他人真好。

I mean, like, you could tell it like it was great, like he was very He knew that I was nervous and he was very encouraging.

我的意思是，像，你可以告訴它 像它是偉大的，就像他是非常 他知道，我很緊張，他是非常鼓勵。

And it was it was great, but it wasn't like the way you know.

它是... ...它是偉大的，但它是不喜歡的方式，你知道的。

And I remember right after that, I was like, You are the reason I do comedy.

我記得在那之後，我就想，你是我做喜劇的原因。

And and I said, I'm and I'm And I'm not just saying that you are the reason to company said girls telling me that I'm the reason they do.

和我說，我和我和我和我不只是說你是公司的原因說女孩告訴我，我是他們的原因。

Comedy is why I do comedy or like girls like you.

喜劇是我做喜劇的原因，還是喜歡你這樣的女孩。

Talking to me is the reason I did.

跟我說話是我的原因。

He said something funny like that.

他說了一些有趣的話

That was just like, God damn me.

這就像，天殺的我。

So hilarious and so nice.

這麼熱鬧，這麼好。

And then he, like, took pictures of me backstage, and I I definitely, like cried.

然後他一樣，拍了照片 我在後臺，我... ...我肯定，喜歡哭了。

And there's one picture where it looks like I'm going to prom with him.

有一張照片看起來像是我要和他去參加舞會。

I'm like, next time, just like like I look like it was just That was the best.

我很喜歡，下一次，就像我看起來像它只是 這是最好的。

And I was done.

而我已經完成了。

Teoh, you know, like that when you when you go Thank you.

Teoh，你知道的，就像你走的時候一樣，謝謝你。

Good night.

晚上好

And you feel good about it.

而且你感覺良好。

It's just like that sense of relief is amazing.

就是那種解脫感很奇妙。

And yeah, And then I went over, and I think Adam Scott was on the show.

是的，然後我走了過去， 我認為亞當・斯科特是在節目中。

He was very nice.

他人很好。

And Andy, of course, is always, like, so cool and yeah, that was that was great.

而安迪，當然，總是一樣，所以很酷，是的，那是那是偉大的。

Look at the two of you chatting it up off.

看你們兩個聊得不亦樂乎。

I am just trying to be in that moment and be so cool and have like, uh, just a connection.

我只是想在那一刻，是如此的酷，有喜歡，呃，只是一個連接。

I mean, that I'm losing my mind in that photo.

我的意思是，那張照片讓我失去了理智。

I remember that so much.

我記得很清楚

And I still don't really, Um I'm not like it's so hard for me to be present when I'm talking to him because it z just he's my faith.

我還是不真的，嗯... ...我不喜歡它是如此困難的，當我跟他說話，因為它Z只是他是我的信仰。

But I remember sitting on that couch and just feeling you have watched so many times and just being like I made it, I did it, I did it.