Yes.

是的，我知道

I was robbed at the Y m c a again.

我又在Y M C A被搶了。

What is it exactly that separates man from animal divorce?

究竟是什麼原因讓人與動物離婚？

Uh, this stuff tools like this blowgun I used to hunt monkeys with the Karoo bow in the Amazon.

呃，這東西工具，比如我在亞馬遜用卡魯弓獵殺猴子的這把吹箭。

My name is Professor June Bauer.

我的名字是June Bauer教授

And this semester I will guide you to the very threshold of your humanity where you will lock eyes with the shrieking blood drench sister raping beast from which we sprang.

而這學期，我將引導你們走向人性的門檻... ...在那裡，你們將與尖叫著的血淋淋的姐妹強姦獸對視，而我們正是從這隻獸身上蹦出來的。

You will also have to make a diary, Mama.

你還得寫日記，媽媽。

Everybody close their faces.

大家都閉上臉。

All right?

好嗎？

He's got a lot of his mind.

他有很多的想法。

Leave him alone.

讓他靜一靜

I've got it.

我知道了

My name is Professor Ian Duncan.

我的名字是伊恩-鄧肯教授。

I would like to wrap for you.

我想為你包裝。

Drop a beat?

掉一拍？

No, no beach.

不，沒有海灘。

Oh, my name is Ian Duncan.

哦，我的名字是伊恩-鄧肯。

And I'm here to say I'm going to rap to the beat in a rapping way.

而我在這裡要說的是，我要用說唱的方式，跟著節奏說唱。

I've got a really big Peters and I drink lots of people.

我有一個非常大的彼得斯，我喝了很多人。

No, no, no.

不，不，不。

You know what, Duncan?

你知道嗎，鄧肯？

What?

什麼？

That's enough.

這就夠了。

You have a problem?

你有問題嗎？

I have a problem.

我有一個問題。

Yes.

是的，我知道

Who is it here?

誰在這裡？

Who has a Dalmatian fetish?

誰有大麥町癖好？

Okay, okay.

好吧，好吧。

Well, that is a its over simplification, and you are suspended Come on.

好吧，這是它的過度簡化， 你被暫停，來吧。

You're not a teacher anymore.

你已經不是老師了。

What's this?

這是什麼？

A little of quarters.

一點點的硬幣。

Why?

為什麼？

Questions?

有問題嗎？

Death.

死亡。

So called is a thing that makes men weep.

所謂是讓人流淚的事情。

And yet the third of life is spent in sleep helping your textbooks to page 37.

然而生命的三分之一是在睡眠中度過的，幫你的課本翻到37頁。

Now close them and throw them away.

現在把它們合上，然後扔掉。

Throw it away.

扔掉它。

Throw it away.

扔掉它。

Those of you who are new Motto of this class.

你們這些人是本班的新座右銘。

Carpe diem.

Carpe diem.

Seize the day.

抓住今天。

No tests, no papers.

沒有考試，沒有試卷。

You want in a live in the moment.

你想在一個活在當下。

Check part.

檢查部分。

I'm Professor Slaughter.

我是斯洛特教授。

Welcome aboard the S s nose candy.

歡迎加入S公司的鼻子糖。

Recently purchased through government auction.

最近通過政府拍賣購買。

Oh, that's nice.

哦，那很好。

It's not nice.

這不是很好。

It's your only weapon against the raging sea.

這是你對抗洶湧大海的唯一武器。

You don't know how to use her.

你不知道如何使用她。

You're dead.

你已經死了

Together you will work.

你們會一起努力。

Is one crew you'll succeed or fail?

一個劇組你會成功還是失敗？

Is one crew.

是一個團隊。

You'll consider this parking lot, the ocean.

你會認為這個停車場，海洋。

Whatever you drop, you lose.

無論你掉了什麼，你都會失去。

Mishandled the sales capsize that died.

處理不當的銷售翻船，死了。

Oh, no, just a little Miss.

哦，不，只是一個小小姐。

Nice.

很好啊

Have a name surely.

有一個名字肯定。

Bennett.

班尼特

Well, now you're Captain Shirley Bennett.

好吧，現在你是雪莉-班尼特上尉了。

Oh, man.

哦，夥計。

You will follow her every order.

你要聽從她的每一個命令。

Oh, every once in a while, a student will come up to me and asked.

呵呵，每隔一段時間，就會有學生來問我。

Send your Chang.

送你的張。

Why do you teach Spanish?

你為什麼要教西班牙語？

They say it just like that.

他們就這樣說。

Why do you teach Spanish?

你為什麼要教西班牙語？

Why you?

為什麼是你？

Why not, man?

為什麼不呢，夥計？

Why not photography?

為什麼不是攝影？

Why not martial arts?

為什麼不是國術？

I mean, surely it must be in my nature to instruct you in something that's ancient and secret, like oh, building a wall that you can see from outer space.

我的意思是，肯定是我的天性，指導你做一些古老而又祕密的事情，就像哦，建造一堵你能從外太空看到的牆。

Well, I'll tell you why I teach Spanish.

好吧，我來告訴你為什麼我教西班牙語。

It is none of your business, okay?

這不關你的事，好嗎？

I don't wanna have any conversations about what a mysterious, inscrutable man I am.

我不想跟你談什麼我是個神祕莫測的人。

E o I am a Spanish genius and Espanol.

我是一個西班牙天才和西班牙人。

My nickname is El Tigre Chino because my knowledge will bite her face off.

我的綽號是El Tigre Chino 因為我的知識會把她的臉咬掉。

So don't question send your chance or you'll get bit you bit.

所以不要質疑送你的機會，否則你會被咬你的位。

Yeah, I bet one man's lies another man's truth.

是啊，我打賭一個人的謊言就是另一個人的真相。

You could you say, Jeff, I'm sorry.

你可以... ...你可以說，傑夫，我很抱歉。

And who are you?

你又是誰？

I'm Professor Professor soon.

我是教授教授很快。

Wow.

哇哦

You really had me going there for a second, Professor.

你真的讓我有一秒鐘的時間去那裡，教授。

I thought it was going insane precisely on actual conspiracy to round out your education in conspiracies and theories thereof.

我想這正是在實際的陰謀上發瘋，以完善你在陰謀和理論上的教育。

Your riel name is Professor professors.

你的名字叫教授教授

My family name was Professor Berg, but we changed it when we were fleeing from the Nazis.

我的姓氏是伯格教授，但我們在逃離納粹時改了名字。

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉

You probably never heard of me since I primarily teach night school.

你可能從來沒有聽說過我，因為我主要是教夜校。

My faculty.

我的教員。

I'd all right.

我很好。

I guess I've never stuck around late enough to meet you.

我想我從來沒有停留在足夠晚的時間去見你。

Night school professors.

夜校教授。

TV's gotten crazy.

電視變得瘋狂了。

Good, you know.

很好，你知道的。

Well, I have to take this.

好吧，我必須接受這個。

Thank you for indulging Nadine.

謝謝你對納丁的縱容。

Jeff, Read chapters 10 through 12 of Douglas and see you next week.

傑夫，讀讀道格拉斯的第十章到第十二章，下週見。

That is if I still exist.

如果我還存在的話

Yeah.

是啊。

See you, Professor.

再見，教授

Don't be shy.

不要害羞。

Come on up.

上來吧

Have a sip.

喝一口吧

The Yogi of India.

印度的瑜伽師。

Swear by its restorative powers.

誓以其恢復能力。

Okay, more by your own for me Now for your tribe's assignment.

好了，多給我一些你自己的東西，現在是你們部落的任務。

Hello, my precious blueberries.

你好，我珍貴的藍莓。

Oh, all right.

哦，好吧。

Let's spin those wheels and play with some clay.

讓我們轉動這些輪子，玩一些粘土。

Now, there's one and only one rule in this class.

現在，這個班級有一個也是唯一一個規則。

I will tolerate no reenacting whether it's ironic or sincere of the Patrick Swayze Demi Moore pottery scene in Ghost.

我不會容忍重演《鬼》中帕特里克-斯威茲-黛米-摩爾的陶器戲，不管是諷刺還是真誠。

Ever since that movie was released in 1990 I have seen every conceivable variation of what I call ghosting.

自從1990年那部電影上映以來，我看到了各種可以想象的變化，我稱之為鬼魂。

This could be guy on girl, girl on guy, the hilarious guy on guy.

這可能是男對女，女對男，男對男的熱鬧。

So since it never stopped, I had to adopt a zero ghost tolerance policy.

所以，既然它一直沒有停止，我只好採取零鬼容忍政策。

If you so much as home three notes from that righteous brothers song.

如果你有那麼多的家三個音符，從那首正義的兄弟。

With God as my witness, I will come at you with everything I've got.

以上帝為證，我會用我的一切來對付你。

Okay, let's have a great time.

好吧，讓我們盡情享受吧。

When we stop stopping our lives, can we begin to start starting them?

當我們停止了我們的生活，我們是否可以開始開始生活？

Mrs.

太太

Edison here, for example, would rather write about what happens to other people, then live.

比如這裡的愛迪生，寧可寫別人的遭遇，也要活下去。

What is happening to her?

她到底怎麼了？

I thought there might be a quiz.

我想可能有一個測驗。

Here's a quiz for you.

這裡有一個小測驗給你。

Why did the pretty young girl die alone?

那個年輕漂亮的女孩為什麼會孤獨地死去？

Surrounded by sweater wearing cats who are trained to use human toilets?

周圍都是穿著毛衣的貓咪，它們被訓練成使用人類的廁所？

Get up on your desk.

站到你的桌子上。

Come on.

來吧。

Stand on your desk.

站在你的辦公桌上。

Up on your desk.

在你的桌子上。

She made Uh huh.

她做了嗯哼。

Everyone stand on your desks up!

大家都站在桌子上！

Come on!

來吧！

Rise!

起來！

Rise!

起來！

Rise Above the programming!

崛起於編程之上!

All your luggage, you were told.

有人告訴你，你所有的行李。

Don't stand on your desk.

不要站在你的辦公桌上。

Well, why not?

嗯，為什麼不呢？

Oh, come on.

哦，來吧。

She's okay.

她很好。

Go to the nurse.

去找護士。

Seize the day.

抓住今天。

Is this place This Anne is night school, Every student, every teacher, Every class figments lots of hot air from the lips of the ghost in the shadow of a unicorn stream.

這裡是安是夜校，每一個學生，每一個老師，每一個班級都在麒麟流的陰影下，從鬼的嘴脣裡找出很多熱氣。

I made it up.

我編的

Night school doesn't exist.

夜校並不存在。

I used to be a student here at Greendale like you, Jeff.

我以前和你一樣也是綠谷的學生 傑夫

Then one day I invented a fake course to get a free credit.

然後有一天，我發明了一個假的課程，以獲得免費的學分。

To keep up the lie, I had to create a fake teacher who needed other fake classes that needed to be filled with other fake students and so on and so on.

為了維持這個謊言，我不得不製造一個假老師，而這個老師需要其他的假班級，需要其他的假學生，等等等等。

And so on exchange.

等交換。

Sra, did you just miss pronounced etcetera?

斯拉，你剛才是不是念錯了等等？

My Latin classes fake Jeff, like all my classes like my life.

我的拉丁語課是假的，傑夫，就像我所有的課一樣，就像我的生活一樣。

Aren't you listening?

你沒在聽嗎？

Yeah, I am.

是的，我是。

And a very familiar feeling is starting to come over me.

而一種很熟悉的感覺開始在我身上出現。

I feel like someone is trying to teach me something.

我覺得有人想教我什麼。

Jeff, the only thing that's ever been learned in this room is regret Would that this desk were a time desk so that I could correct my past mistakes way.

傑夫，在這間屋子裡唯一學到的就是後悔 希望這張桌子是一張時光桌，這樣我就可以改正我過去的錯誤了。

It's hilarious.

太搞笑了

Guy on guy.

人對人。

One rule.

一個規則：

I asked you to follow one walk.

我讓你跟著一個走。

I had it made before he died.

我在他死前做的

It's not in bad taste out, winger.

這不是在惡作劇出來，溫格。

Fine, that's fine.

好吧，這很好。

That's fine.

這很好。

Whoa.

哇。

Congratulations.

恭喜你啊

You failed a class so easy that people passing in the hallway contact credit.

你好不容易掛了一門課，在走廊上經過的人都會聯繫學分。

Oh, my love, my darling e.

哦，我的愛，我親愛的E。

So I'm going to use this to attack you, and you use respect to defend yourself.

所以我要用這個來攻擊你，你用尊重來保護自己。

I respect you.

我尊重你

That's why you feel passing out.

所以你才會覺得暈倒。

Women are funny.

女人很有趣。

Your wife must have a sense of humor.

你老婆一定很有幽默感。

She's seen you naked.

她看過你的裸體。

Uh, I don't like you.

呃，我不喜歡你。

Come back.

回來吧

Do I call you or do I just commit a crime?

我是給你打電話，還是直接犯罪？

Probably Committing a crime would get me to you.

也許犯罪會讓我找到你。

Quick.

迅速。

This is me and my most invited.

這是我和我最邀請。

Thank you and good night.

謝謝你，晚安。