Todo honestly, you won't find any other host saying this.

多多說實話，你不會找到其他主機說這話的。

Yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊。

Do yourself a favor, right?

幫你自己一個忙，對吧？

Sleep is the greatest gift you could give yourself.

睡眠是你能給自己最大的禮物。

This is a waste of your time.

這是在浪費你的時間。

Senate Minority leader.

參議院少數派領袖。

How great is it saying that Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell yeah, has dropped his demand that the Democrats commit to preserving the filibuster, which will now make it easier for the two parties to share power together.

說參議院少數黨領袖米奇-麥康奈爾耶，已經放棄了要求民主黨承諾保留 "拉布 "的要求，這多好，現在兩黨將更容易共同分享權力。

McConnell compromised when Chuck Schumer offered him an extra two hours a day under the sun lamp in his Terreri.

當查克-舒默向他提出每天在他的泰瑞裡的太陽燈下多呆兩個小時時，麥康奈爾妥協了。

Um, yeah.

嗯，是的。

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的。

That joke flew far better.

這個笑話飛得更遠。

Our UK viewers will know that tonight is Burns Night, which is a Scottish celebration of the life and works of national poet Robert Burns on in honor of the occasion.

我們英國的觀眾都知道，今晚是 "伯恩斯之夜"，這是蘇格蘭為紀念民族詩人羅伯特-伯恩斯的生平和作品而舉行的慶祝活動。

This is true.

這是事實。

Ah, packet of haggis was launched into space.

啊，一包羊雜碎被髮射到了太空。

Don't believe me.

不要相信我。

Have a look for yourself.

自己看看吧。

Look at that.

你看那個。

I'm not sure I follow the thinking here.

我不知道我是否能理解這裡的思路。

I'm sure that, like, how should we celebrate the life of a beloved 18th century poet?

我相信，就像，我們應該如何慶祝一位18世紀受人愛戴的詩人的一生？

Space Haggis took the words right out of my mouth.

空間雜碎直接把我的話說了出來。

Let's dio imagine being in a Scottish Mission Control.

讓我們想象一下在蘇格蘭的任務控制中心。

Okay, we're ready to launch.

好了，我們準備好了，可以開始了。

Right?

對吧？

Here we go.

我們走吧

10 nine.

十九。

Don't look at me like that.

別這樣看著我

You had a fight.

你們吵架了

Backs up 87 I will finish this with fists.

支持87我將用拳頭完成這個任務。

I'll tell you right now.

我現在就告訴你。

65 Yeah, Let's go.

65 是的，我們走吧。

Did you hear about this?

你聽說了嗎？

Doctors are warning people against a new beauty craze started by a tick tock influencer where you smother your lips with cheap over the counter erection cream to make them look bigger.

醫生正在警告人們反對一個新的美容熱潮開始的滴答滴答的影響者，你悶你的嘴脣與廉價的櫃檯勃起霜，使他們看起來更大。

Uh, talk about a stiff upper lip, but this is crazy.

呃，談到一個僵硬的上嘴脣， 但這是瘋狂的。

Who would put cheap over the counter erection cream on their lips?

誰會把廉價的非處方勃起霜放在嘴脣上？

Where would you even get something like that?

你從哪裡能弄到這樣的東西？

And they're saying it doesn't require a prescription on its affordable.

而且他們說它的實惠不需要處方。

And where exactly are they selling them?

他們到底在哪裡賣呢？

Where exactly?

具體在哪裡？

Because I just because I wanted I'd love thio Thio just go down and warn people.

因為我只是因為我想我很喜歡Thio Thio只是下去警告人們。

According to researchers, afternoon naps are linked toe better mental agility.

根據研究人員的研究，下午的午睡與更好的精神敏捷性有關。

Experts say afternoon naps can help us rest our brains and clear out our jumble of daily thoughts.

專家表示，午後小睡可以幫助我們休息大腦，理清日常雜亂的思緒。

I'm not gonna like Reg.

我不會喜歡瑞格。

I feel like you already knew this.

我覺得你已經知道了。

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的。

You're a king of a nap, aren't you?

你是個午睡大王吧？

Yeah, I can I can nap anytime.

是啊，我可以我可以隨時打盹。

Anyplace?

任何地方？

Yeah, I think we're the same like that.

是啊，我想我們是一樣的喜歡。

I could sleep in a wheelbarrow.

我可以睡在手推車裡

Yes.

是的，我知道

Are you a Napa, Hagar?

你是納帕人嗎，海格？

I wish I was.

我希望我是。

Don't fall asleep.

別睡著了

Really?

真的嗎？

Even at what time do you go to sleep?

甚至在什麼時候睡覺？

At midnight.

在午夜時分。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

G m A What time do you?

G m A 你什麼時候？

What time do you hit the sack?

你什麼時候打麻袋？

When is it lights out?

什麼時候熄燈？

Somewhere between 12 and two.

介於12和2之間

Really?

真的嗎？

Unless you're single, nothing good happens between midnight and four.

除非你是單身，否則午夜和四點之間沒有什麼好事發生。

No one's ever drawn money out from an ATM.

從來沒有人從自動取款機裡取過錢。

3 a.m. for a good reason.

凌晨3點是有原因的。

Yeah, that's fair.

是的，這很公平。

That's true.

這倒是真的。

No, Pete, no.

不，皮特，不

You disagree?

你不同意？

Elikann c was Be going.

Elikann C是去。

Be honest, Pete, on a scale of 1 to 10.

說實話，皮特，在1到10分的範圍內。

How drunk are you right now?

你現在有多醉？

Three.

三號

Solid three.

堅固的三。

But that's regular.

但這是正規的。

That's regular.

這是正規的。

Here's some more news on the co vid front.

這裡有一些更多的消息在聯合視頻方面。

Over one million residents of Beijing have been getting tested for coronavirus in a new way that is reportedly farm or accurate, which is wonderful.

北京有100多萬居民接受了冠狀病毒的檢測，據說這種新的方式是農場或準確的，這很奇妙。

But here's the thing.

但事情是這樣的

The new test is administered by anal swab.

新的測試是通過肛門拭子進行的。

So this is what they meant when they said the pandemic was finally starting to turn around I will say that it's gonna really complicate those drive through testing sites, isn't it?

所以這就是他們說的大流行終於開始轉折的意思我想說的是，這真的會讓那些開車經過的測試點變得複雜，不是嗎？

That's uh huh.

那是嗯哼。

I am here for the vaccine.

我是來打疫苗的。

Yeah.

是啊。

Oh, really?

哦，真的嗎？

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Just came in.

剛來的。

Yeah.

是啊。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

Mhm.

嗯

It's, um or co vid news for you.

這是給你的，嗯，或者說是視頻新聞。

You know, Earlier this week, Dr Fauci recommended wearing two masks.

你知道，本週早些時候，Fauci醫生建議戴兩個口罩。

Well, now some researchers are saying it's even more effective for people to wear three mosques.

好了，現在有研究人員說，人們穿三清真更有效。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

Because four would be ridiculous.

因為四個人就太可笑了。

Three month.

三個月

How fogged up do they want Dave's glasses to get?

他們想讓戴夫的眼鏡變得多霧？

Yeah, but here's the thing.

是的，但事情是這樣的

I'll say it now.

我現在就說。

If this does go upto four masks, I will be the next person to go viral with a grocery store meltdown.

如果這真的去到四個面具，我會是下一個人去病毒與雜貨店崩潰。

I will not wait for I wear to find three, not four.

我不會等我穿找到三個，而不是四個。

Where's the manager?

經理在哪裡？

When we were doing this show in prime time, once I wanted the show to be on at nine.

當我們在黃金時間做這個節目時，有一次我想讓節目在九點播出。

On, my idea was for a trailer was just to send you to Germany, walking around with a camera, saying to people, Do you know what time the late, late show prime time specials on and they go?

在，我的想法是一個預告片只是送你到德國，走來走去的相機，對人們說，你知道什麼時候晚，晚秀黃金時段的特別節目，他們去？

Nine.

九

Good one.

好一個。

There are German people here though you could just talk to a German person.

這裡有德國人，不過你可以直接和德國人交談。

How maney Germans were walking here.

有多少德國人在這裡走動。

Nine.

九

This'll is fun.

這將是有趣的。

The 24 hour roadside chain Waffle House is once again taking reservations for Valentine's Day.

24小時路邊連鎖的華夫餅屋再次接受情人節的預訂。

This year, it's the one day of the year where they make reservations and to make it extra romantic, they even dim the lights.

今年，每年的這一天，他們都會進行預約，為了讓這一天更加浪漫，他們甚至還調暗了燈光。

Here's how done I am with the pandemic I read this story was like, That sounds nice.

這就是我對大流行病的看法，我讀到這個故事的時候就想，這聽起來不錯。

You just know the couples they're doing this are either immediately getting divorced or never getting divorced.

你只知道他們這樣做的夫妻要麼馬上離婚，要麼永遠不離婚。

There is no in between.

沒有中間環節。

There's no one in between.

中間沒有人。

No one's in the middle ground there.

沒有人在中間地帶。

No.

不知道

One cc.

1毫升。

If your husband came home and said I booked us a table for two at the Waffle House for Valentine's, what would you dio?

如果你丈夫回家說我在華夫餅屋訂了一張雙人桌過情人節 你會怎麼做？

I would be so excited.

我會很興奮的。

I've never been to a Waffle House.

我從來沒有去過華夫餅屋。

What am I missing?

我錯過了什麼？

What sort of various concoctions of my missing?

什麼樣的各種炮製的我的失蹤？

It's amazing.

太神奇了

Is it why hash browns smothered and covered waffles?

是為什麼哈士奇悶悶不樂，蓋著華夫餅？

Who is that like Yeah, everybody, you're so in the dark.

那是誰啊，各位，你們都被矇在鼓裡了。

It's the only time I've ever known that you're here.

這是我唯一一次知道你在這裡。

Step into the light for Waffle House okay.

步入華夫餅屋的光好嗎。

Smothered, covered double double the brown on the hash browns that you want him nice and crispy waffles all the way.

悶，蓋上雙倍的棕色在哈希布朗上，你要他好脆的華夫餅一路。

Grits.

糝。

Double bacon on.

雙份培根上。

Then.

那麼

If you're drunk, you just keep going.

如果你喝醉了，你就繼續走。

But that's the That's the baseline.

但這是基線。

That's a baseline.

這是一條基線。

Wow.

哇哦

Never.

從來沒有。

Bean.

嵛。

I'll give it a shot.

我會給它一個機會。

It's great.

這是偉大的。

Waffle House isn't the only place doing stuff for Valentine's.

華夫餅屋並不是唯一在情人節搞活動的地方。

Dunkin Donuts are actually just give it cleaning three.

鄧肯甜甜圈其實就是給它清洗三下。

Does it?

是嗎？

You're going to cuts of awful hard E.

你要去切割可怕的硬E。

How could you cut the powerful highest nine house?

你怎麼能砍掉強大的最高九宮呢？

Everyone change something on their appearance.

每個人都會在外表上改變一些東西。

Just fascinated what everyone's favorite food is.

只是迷戀大家最喜歡的食物是什麼。

All right, we'll pick it up.

好吧，我們會把它撿起來。

Dunkin Donuts has unveiled its new menu about Mom.

Dunkin Donuts推出了關於媽媽的新菜單。

Yeah.

是啊。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Thank you.

謝謝你了

No.

不知道

All right.

好吧，我知道了

All right.

好吧，我知道了

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Ready to pick it up clean?

準備把它撿乾淨嗎？

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

On Dunkin Donuts has unveiled its new menu for Valentine's Day, which includes the pink velvet macchiato.

On Dunkin Donuts公佈了情人節的新菜單，其中包括粉色天鵝絨瑪奇朵。