TOPICAL 24 KARAT NEWS GOLD INTO TWO PERFECTLY MATCHED HEART

主題24K金新聞金成兩顆完美匹配的心。

SHAPES, CRAFTING A CUSTOM HINGE AND A CLASP TO JOIN THEM, AND

形狀，製作一個定製的鉸鏈和一個連接它們的夾子，以及。

CAREFULLY CUTTING AND INSERTING THE MOST CURRENT DAGUERROTYPES

精心剪裁和插入最新的DAGUERROTYPES。

IN IT TO CREATE THE VICTORIAN-ERA SWEETHEART LOCKET

創造VICTORIAN-ERA甜美心形鎖。

OF STORIES THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

的故事，這是我的獨白。

BUT SOMETIMES I SNAP AWAKE IN A COLD SWEAT, REALIZING I'VE

但有時我在冷汗中驚醒，意識到自己已經...

FORGOTTEN VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING, RUMMAGE THROUGH THE

忘記的情人節要來了，RUMMAGE THROUGH!

PANTRY FOR A BOX OF NOODLES I BOUGHT TO STOCK UP FOR HURRICANE

我買了一盒麵條，為颶風做儲備。

SANDY, HASTILY TRIM THEM INTO SHAPE WITH SOME RUSTY GARDEN

SANDY，趕緊把它們修剪好，用一些生鏽的園子修剪好

SHEARS, AND STRING 'EM ONTO THE BLOOD STAINED SHOELACE FROM A

剪子，然後把它們串在血跡斑斑的鞋帶上。

BOOT I SALVAGED ON THE HIGHWAY TO CREATE FOR YOU THE ACCURS-ED

我在高速公路上打撈的靴子，為你創造了準確的ED。

MACARONI NECKLACE OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

MACARONI NECKLACE的新聞，這是我的部門。

>> QUARANTINEWHILE!

>> QUARANTINEWHILE!

>> STEPHEN: QUARANTINE-WHILE, UTAH THEME PARK "EVERMORE PARK"

>> STEPHEN: QUARANTINE-WHILE, UTAH主題公園 "EVERMORE PARK"

IS SUING TAYLOR SWIFT OVER HER 'EVERMORE' ALBUM TITLE.

是起訴TAYLOR SWIFT在她的 "EVERMORE "專輯標題。

WHEREAS "I" AM SUING TAYLOR SWIFT OVER HER 'EVERMORE' ALBUM

鑑於 "我 "正就她的 "EVERMORE "專輯起訴泰勒-斯威夫特。

MAKING ME FEEL TOO MANY FEELINGS.

讓我感覺到太多的感覺。

THIS PANDEMIC IS EMOTIONAL ENOUGH WITHOUT A STIRRING

這幅畫有足夠的情感，卻沒有激昂的情緒。

MUSICAL TRIBUTE TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER MARJORIE, TAY-TAY!

獻給你的祖母MARJORIE的音樂，TAY -TAY！

DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME!

你不要背對著我!

THOUGH I GOTTA SAY, THE LAWSUIT I EXPECTED AGAINST TAYLOR WOULD

雖然我得說，我期望對泰勒的訴訟會...

BE FROM SWIFT BRAND SAUSAGES.

是來自SWIFT品牌的醬料。

AND NOT JUST FOR TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT, HER SONG "I DON'T

不僅僅是商標侵權，她的歌曲 "I DON'T "也是一個很好的例子。

WANNA LIVE FOREVER" IS A CLEAR AND DEFAMATORY REFERENCE TO

"WANNA LIVE FOREVER "是一個明確的、誹謗性的指稱。

SWIFT CHEEZY BRATS.

SWIFT芝士烤餅。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, A MAN IN CHICAGO HAD A STROKE OF GOOD

夸父--在芝加哥的一個男人有一個好的開始。

LUCK WHEN THE $22,000 FLUTE HE LOST ON THE TRAIN TURNED UP IN A

當他在火車上遺失的22000美元的笛子被發現時，他是幸運的。

PAWN SHOP.

PAWN SHOP.

"OH. GOOD.

"哦。好的。

THE FLUTE'S BACK."

笛子回來了。"

SAID THE FLUTE OWNER'S ROOMMATE.

笛子主人的室友說。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IF YOU THOUGHT WORKING FOR AMAZON ALREADY

QUARANTINE--如果你覺得為亞馬遜工作已經很不錯了

SUCKED, FOR SOME TIME NOW AMAZON WAREHOUSES NATIONWIDE HAVE HAD A

吮吸，一段時間以來，AMAZON WAREHOUSES全國範圍內有一個。

10-HOUR GRAVEYARD SHIFT, "THAT RUNS FROM 1:20 A.M. TO 11:50

10小時墓園班，"從凌晨1:20到11:50"。

A.M.," KNOWN AS THE "MEGACYCLE."

稱為 "MEGACYCLE"。

OKAY, LET'S JUST AGREE JEFF BEZOS HAS GONE FULL

好吧，讓我們同意傑夫-貝佐斯已經走完了。

SUPERVILLAIN.

服務員：

(AS CREEPY VILLAIN) "THE CARBON BASED WORKERS ARE

(如CREEPY VILLAIN) "以碳為基礎的工人都是。

STILL ALIVE?

還活著？

HAVE WE TRIED... THE MEGACYCLE?" QUARANTINE-WHILE, "A 90-YEAR-OLD

我們有沒有嘗試過...超大世紀？"QUARANTINE -WHILE，"一個90歲的老人，

AT&T USER PAID FOR A "WALL STREET JOURNAL" AD TO TELL THE

AT&T用戶花錢買了一個 "華爾街日報 "的廣告，以告訴人們："我是一個很好的人。

C.E.O. OF AT&T THAT HIS INTERNET SUCKS."

AT&T的CEO說他的互聯網很爛"

DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE HAS TO BE FOR

您知道您的客戶服務有多糟糕嗎？

SOMEONE TO PAY FOR AN AD IN THE JOURNAL?

有人要為報紙上的廣告付錢嗎？

THAT'S LIKE FILING A COMPLAINT AGAINST YOUR BANK VIA SKYWRITER.

這就像通過天空寫手對你的銀行提出申訴一樣。

YES.

是的。

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH QUEEN LATIFAH.

我們很快就會回到拉蒂法女王身邊。

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