Hey, guys, Welcome to stir crazy The last talk show green lit before the end of days My guest today is a comedy icon Ah, bed wetter And now Ah, podcaster It's the one and only Sarah Silverman.

嘿，夥計們，歡迎來到 "瘋狂的攪拌 "節目 在末日之前，我今天的嘉賓是一個喜劇偶像 啊，尿床的人，現在啊，播客，這是一個唯一的莎拉-西爾弗曼。

Hi, everybody.

嗨，大家好。

E wanna look at you But I know I should look in the hole that don't talk about holes right off the set.

我想看看你，但我知道我應該看看洞裡的東西，不要一開始就談洞。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

At the beginning, how dare you?

一開始，你怎麼敢？

I checked out your pizza the other day where you you went nude for the sake of voting.

我查過你前幾天的披薩，你... ...你為了投票而去裸體。

I shot that before I saw everybody else's.

我在看到別人的照片之前就拍了。

And I thought we were all doing this.

我以為我們都在做這個。

I didn't know.

我不知道。

We're just going shoulders up.

我們只是肩並肩地走。

You feel embarrassing?

你覺得尷尬嗎？

Do you feel exploited?

你覺得自己被剝削了嗎？

I don't care.

我不在乎。

What don't give a shit were the Silverman's a nudist family growing up?

什麼狗屁西爾弗曼家是裸體主義家庭長大的嗎？

Was there a lot of free?

是不是有很多免費的？

Just like where?

就像在哪裡？

What you want?

你想要什麼？

All good?

都好嗎？

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的。

No, we weren't a nudist family.

不，我們不是一個裸體主義家庭。

My dad was a retailer, for Christ sakes.

我爸爸是個零售商，看在上帝的份上。

He had a discount of women's clothing store.

他有一個女裝店的折扣。

Crazy Sophie's factory outlet.

瘋狂蘇菲的工廠直銷。

One thing that I've enjoyed is that in this crazy time you've come out as a Bosch head.

有一件事我很喜歡，那就是在這個瘋狂的時代，你以一個博世頭的身份出現。

You have admitted to becoming obsessed with the coolest, the coolest show on TV Bosch.

你已經承認自己迷上了電視上最酷最酷的節目Bosch。

What you have to say for yourself.

你要為自己說什麼。

How did this happen?

怎麼會這樣？

What do you love about Bosch?

您喜歡博世的什麼？

Well, you know first, it was just that we were laughing in a writer's room.

嗯，你知道首先，這只是我們在作家的房間裡笑。

All of our dad's loved Bosch were like Dad's Love Bosch.

我們爸爸的愛博世都像爸爸的愛博世。

And I do understand why it's It's definitely dad porn.

我也明白為什麼它是... ...它絕對是爸爸的色情片。

It's like a guy pushing 60 years.

這就像一個人推60歲。

A hotheaded detective doesn't play by the rules.

一個頭腦發熱的偵探不按規矩辦事。

I've got good news for you, Sarah.

我有一個好消息要告訴你，莎拉。

We hear it's sort of crazy.

我們聽說這有點瘋狂。

Not only like to entertain, we like to make dreams come true.

不僅喜歡娛樂，我們還喜歡讓夢想成真。

I've got a special message just for you.

我有一個特別的消息，只為你。

Are you ready?

你準備好了嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

No, it always starts out seemingly harmless.

不，它總是一開始看似無害。

Just sitting on the couch watching a cop show with Dad.

只是坐在沙發上和爸爸一起看警匪片。

Then one episode turns into three into five.

然後一集變成三集變成五集。

And before you know it, you binged all 10.

在你意識到之前，你把10個都打了。

It was all fun and games on Bosch was a dad show.

博世上的遊戲都是爸爸的節目。

Now, Sarah, it breaks my heart.

現在，莎拉，它打破了我的心臟。

But you're a Bosch head.

但你是博世的頭。

Now.

現在就去

I feel in some way responsible.

我覺得自己有一定的責任。

But I told you from the get go binge responsibly your little bullheaded and you didn't listen.

但我從一開始就告訴你，要負責任地狂歡，你的小牛頭，你卻不聽。

And this is where we are.

這就是我們的位置。

God, Woman.

上帝，女人。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

First of all, I just looked in my little square and I'm so red My face hurts from smiling.

首先，我剛剛看了一下我的小廣場，我的臉都紅了，笑得臉都疼了。

I can't believe it.

我真不敢相信

I think you might have a role in an upcoming episode of Bosch if you play your cards with I'm like my armpits are squirting.

我想你可能會在即將播出的 "Bosch "裡扮演一個角色 如果你能用 "我的腋窩在噴水 "來表現的話。

That's the goal of the show.

這就是節目的目標。

So mission accomplished.

所以任務完成了。

Excellent.

優秀的。

How about some provocative?

挑釁一下怎麼樣？

Would you rather questions You ready?

你想問的問題，你準備好了嗎？

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Would you rather run out of toilet paper or we'd toilet paper?

你是願意用完衛生紙還是願意我們用衛生紙？

Because paper towels.

因為紙巾。

I prefer the rough stuff.

我更喜歡粗糙的東西。

Anyway, to be honest, would you rather wet your bed every night for the rest of your life or never stopped sweating those air?

總之，說實話，你是寧願每晚尿床一輩子，還是永遠不停止出汗那些空氣？

Both awful.

都很可怕。

That's the idea.

這就是我的想法。

Yeah, right.

是的，沒錯。

Wow.

哇哦

Oh, I have wetting.

哦，我有溼潤。

The bed is like a sensation that's so tied toe.

床就像一種感覺，是那麼的束手束腳。

But sweating is You can't kill if you're sweating.

但出汗是你出汗就不能殺人。

I have to go with bedwetting.

我得說是尿床。

Oh, just wear a diaper.

哦，只是穿尿布。

Yeah, it until I was about 12.5.

是的，直到我12. 5歲的時候。

Return to childhood.

回到童年。

Would you rather have nipples for ears or ears for nipples?

你願意用乳頭當耳朵還是用耳朵當乳頭？

I'm gonna have to go ears for nipples.

我得把耳朵換成乳頭。

Your nipples are gonna be here.

你的乳頭會在這裡。

I don't want nipples here.

我不希望乳頭在這裡。

All you want.

你想要的一切。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

So you want the ears right here?

所以你想把耳朵放在這裡？

Yeah.

是啊。

I mean, I don't want things the choice.

我的意思是，我不希望事情的選擇。

No, I'm sending a doctor over right now.

不，我現在就派醫生過來。

He should be over very soon.

他應該很快就會結束。

Was making it happen?

是讓它發生？

Would you rather have the body of the rock with your face or the face of the rock with your body?

你是願意石頭的身體與你的臉，還是石頭的臉與你的身體？

I'm taking this too seriously.

我太認真了

No, it's perfect.

不，這是完美的。

The rock space rock space.

崒，巖巖空間的。

Silverman bod.

Silverman的身體。

Uh huh.

嗯哼。

I have nothing to say.

我無話可說。

I don't know what he's pretty.

我不知道他有什麼好看的。

Yeah.

是啊。

No, he's gorgeous.

不，他的華麗。

Gorge.

峽谷。

Yeah.

是啊。

Don't get me started.

不要讓我開始。

You are always on the cutting edge.

你總是走在最前沿。

You're joining the podcast world.

你要加入播客世界了

You e the last person to have a podcast.

你是最後一個有播客的人。

What's the goal?

目標是什麼？

What's the format?

格式是什麼？

How loose is it?

有多松？

It's so loose.

它是如此的鬆散。

You know, like you know how you go into the therapist and you're like, I don't have anything to talk about.

你知道，就像你知道你是如何進入治療師 和你一樣，我沒有什麼可談的。

And then the next thing you know, you're like, we've got to wrap it up and you're like, Ugo, just go and go and go.

然後接下來的事情你知道，你就像，我們得把它包起來，你就像，烏戈，只是去，去，去。

And it's loose and messy and people leave voicemails.

而且鬆鬆垮垮，亂七八糟，還有人留語音留言。

I really like it.

我真的很喜歡它。

It's just like a lot of weird messages from people that kick off a lot of a lot of talking.

就像很多人發來的奇怪資訊，掀起了很多很多的話題。

Can I give you a little bit of call in boot camp?

我可以在新兵營給你打一點電話嗎？

Can I run some absurd questions by you?

你能給我出一些荒唐的問題嗎？

See how you'd respond?

看你怎麼回答？

Hana says she wants three boobs.

小花說她要三個胸。

She's found a plastic surgeon in Uruguay who will do it, but she's scared of flying during a pandemic.

她在烏拉圭找到了一位願意做整形手術的醫生，但她害怕在流行病期間坐飛機。

Is it worth it?

值得嗎？

Should she go for it?

她應該去嗎？

I think you should probably be wary of a A surgery by a surgeon that is willing to give you three boobs more than, ah, well air circulated airplane wearing a mask and taking the precautions.

我想你可能要警惕一個願意給你三個胸以上的外科醫生做A手術，啊，空氣循環良好的飛機戴上口罩，做好預防措施。

I think she may be weighing the wrong risks, but that makes you live your dream.

我想她可能權衡了錯誤的風險，但這讓你活出了自己的夢想。

That's sweet.

那是甜蜜的。

I'm a really good sex ter if I do say so myself.

如果我自己說的話，我是一個非常好的性愛者。

But I'm worried that all my pics are going to end up on a Chinese porn site.

但我擔心我所有的照片都會出現在中國的色情網站上。

What do I dio?

我做了什麼？

First of all, so your texts are on a Chinese porn site.

首先，所以你的文字是在中國的色情網站上。

I think it's OK to let your freak flag fly as long as you're okay with it.

我覺得只要你沒意見，讓你的怪胎旗幟飄揚就可以了。

and, you know, for, like, porn and stuff.

而且，你知道，像，色情和東西，

I would just, like, put a little piece of tape over your camera, whole camera.

我只是，喜歡，把一小塊膠帶 在你的相機，整個相機。

A whole lot of whole talk today holds the secret word on this episode of Third Crazy.

今天整整說了很多整話，在這期的《第三瘋》中就有了密語。

When you hear the word hole, take a drink.

當你聽到洞這個字的時候，喝一口。

Look at that.

你看那個。

A such a face.

一張這樣的臉。

All right, I've got one last challenge for you if you'll indulge me.

好吧，我有一個最後的挑戰給你 如果你願意放縱我。

Okay?

好嗎？

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

We call this very excited about Titus.

我們稱之為非常興奮的提多。

Well, over a really exciting e new to put that up top to get you in a good mood way.

好了，過了一個非常激動人心的e新，把它放在上面，讓你有一個好心情的方式。

Call this way exactly.

準確地叫這種方式。

No, no, no.

不，不，不。

How about a game of who am I?

來玩個 "我是誰 "的遊戲怎麼樣？

E?

E?

Oh, my God, She's a comedian.

哦，我的上帝，她是一個喜劇演員。

She was hilarious.

她很搞笑。

Chelsea Handler.

Chelsea Handler.

He's, um he was created by Coca Cola, and he celebrated on Christmas, and kids think he comes on chimney.

他是，嗯，他是由可口可樂創造的， 他在聖誕節慶祝，和孩子們認為他來的煙囪。

Santa Claus?

聖誕老人？

Yeah, e didn't know that movie with his name in it with Billy Bob Thornton.

是的，我不知道那部有他名字的電影，裡面有比利-鮑伯-桑頓。

Dark version of bad, Bad Santa.

黑暗版的壞壞聖誕老人。

Yeah.

是啊。

Oh, he's the patriarch of his burgers.

哦，他是他漢堡的元老。

Animated show The Burger King.

動畫節目《漢堡王》。

Mark Wahlberg.

馬克-沃爾伯格。

What?

什麼？

My God.

我的天啊

Star of the animated Siri's His name.

動畫Siri的明星他的名字。

Burgers.

漢堡包。

Oh, Bob Bob Bob's burgers.

哦，鮑勃鮑勃的漢堡。

Yeah, what's his last name in it?

是啊，他在裡面姓什麼？

Right.

好吧，我知道了

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Belcher.

Belcher

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

This is a a superhero who's hot and he's got a hammer.

這是一個超級英雄，他很性感，他有一個錘子。

Thor.

雷神

Yeah, I've never heard of this, but this is, you know, that same person who's overweight.

是啊，我從來沒有聽說過這一點， 但這是，你知道， 同樣的人誰的超重。

Fat, fat Thor?

胖子，胖子雷神？

Yeah, we're learning.

是的，我們正在學習。

He watched on water.

他在水面上看著。

He made, like, bread and fish out of, like, nothing.

他用什麼東西做了，比如，麵包和魚。

He's magic.

他有魔力

He turned water into wine.

他把水變成了酒。

Jesus, Jesus is magic.

耶穌，耶穌是神奇的。

Mm.

嗯。

Sarah, congratulations on the Sarah Silverman podcast and congratulations.

莎拉，恭喜你的莎拉-西爾弗曼播客，恭喜你。

Now it's out.

現在它出來了。

As of right now, you know where it should go.

就目前而言，你知道它應該去哪裡。

Not in your eyes, but in your ear.

不是看在眼裡，而是聽在耳裡。

Holes your holes.

洞你的洞。

Let me be your companion.

讓我做你的同伴吧。

Don't you want this voice as your companion?

難道你不想讓這個聲音成為你的同伴嗎？

I'm gonna try to talk more like this.

我會試著多說一些這樣的話。

Little less nasal sound.

少了一點鼻音。

Boschee.

Boschee。

You sound positively Boschee right now.

你現在的聲音聽起來很像Boschee。

Bosch man.

博世人

Yeah, Sweet Moscow prostitute with a heart of gold.

是啊，可愛的莫斯科妓女，有一顆金子般的心。

Is that true?

是真的嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

I need to watch this show you murdered and nobody cared.

我需要看這個節目，你謀殺，沒有人關心。

You did for the prostitute.

你是為了那個妓女

And the killer was a nen form unt.

而凶手是一個念形態的unt。

They made him more important than her life.

他們讓他比她的生命更重要。

No.

不知道

Good to see you, Sarah.

很高興見到你，莎拉。