字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 Marie: Hey it's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. I got a question for you: have you ever struggled to create change in your life? Maybe around a birthday, you've said, "this year is going to be different, it really is," but then it becomes a sad repeat of the past. If you've ever struggled to create meaningful change in your life, my guest today is here to help. Todd Herman is the founder of the Peak Athlete, a peak performance coaching and researching company working with hundreds of pro and Olympic athletes on the inner psychology of winning. Todd also consults with leading executives and business owners on leadership, sales and communication. His corporate leadership programs are used by over 17 organizations globally and three governments reaching over 250,000 people. In 2010, he was awarded the World's Greatest Salesperson and the Con International Advertising Festival and has been featured on the Today Show, the Australian Today Show, Sky Business, the New York Times and other media. Todd Herman, thank you for being on MarieTV. Todd: I'm so happy to be here. Marie: I think you're amazing and you and I have been friends for years. One of the coolest things that you taught me, and this was a few years back, was on the biology of change. It's this concept and these ideas that really have stuck with me, so I am so excited to have you share that with everybody here today. Lets get right into it. What's happening on a cellular level when we try and create some kind of change? A new habit, learn a new skill, anything like that. Todd: There's a chemical cocktail of changes happening inside of us and it's working from the inside out. Anytime we're trying to break an old habit, embark on a new skill or try to improve ourselves, generally there is a biological process that's going on inside of us and most people would tap into it as an emotional part of what's going on. It's this part that trips people up; it's this misunderstanding of what's happening that prevents people from actually continuing on with the change. There's some great research that was done and last year, the Nobel Prize in Chemistry was awarded to two researchers on this very subject. What's interesting to note about the cells, what's important to know, is that they are constantly receiving information and they're constantly replicating themselves. It's important to know this because this is actually what's happening when we're going through our process of change. When we actually start on a process of embarking on a new skill or changing a bad habit or something like that, we're actually sending some positive "juju" through our body. Positive emotion that comes in the form of hormones; dopamine and serotonin would be the two main ones. But if our cells are used to being constantly bombarded with cortisol, because they're receivers of information, they're used to getting cortisol, just like hungry little hippos; they just wanting to be fed anything and if you're constantly feeding them cortisol, they'll accept it. They're going to get more of it and they're going to send information up saying, "give me some more cortisol and stress." If you're wondering why you're always stressed out, it's not that you're a bad person and you're supposed to be living that way; it's just what your cells are used to. When we stick with change, the replication of the cells that happens, if we're constantly giving them dopamine and endorphins, they're going to want more dopamine and endorphins when they replicated because the cells replicate based on the last information that happens to them. Marie: Tracking here, so we start to create a new habit; for example, we're starting to exercise. Before our butts were on the couches, we're all stressed out all the time and all of a sudden we said "alright, I'm going to start working out." You start sending these new hormones, the dopamine and serotonin and your cells start getting bombarded with some new hormones and they're shaking and they're replicating then they want to start going in a new direction. Todd: They're vibrating away because they're not used to getting this information so they need to vibrate to accept it because they need to change the receptor sites to allow in this new information. It's this vibration that trips people up. This is the cause of what we would call self-sabotage and resistance many times in people because they interpret this as "this doesn't really feel good or doesn't feel right to me," and that's their own story that they're attaching to the cellular change that's happening. You got to remember that those cells automatically always want the good stuff right away because they're still elements of the need for cortisol. You are going to still get some stress going on in your body, but overtime if we just stick with it, that's why the greatest breakthroughs always happen when you are wanting to quit almost, and then around the next corner is this massive change that happens for us. It's this knowing part, when I've shared this with clients and even when we talked about it for the first time, that people relax into it because now it explains so much of why sometimes we've quit and when we've been doing something that was really positive but just knowing that this is how we work, people can relax into the change more. It's like now you know what to expect. I'm not going to be positive forever because day one exercise is easy, day two is easy too, day three a little bit of resistance kicking in because maybe we're a little bit achy, day four maybe we don't want to go to the gym and day five we just end up quitting on ourselves. The change was happening if we would have just stuck with it, then when our cells are used to all this dopamine and serotonin that's coming at it, they're going to be wanting more of that which means that the activities that you're going to be choosing are going to lead you to be sending that information back down; the activities, the action you take on a daily basis. Marie: It's almost like we have to stick through it to get through that transition period so that our cells have built those new receptors, want the dopamine, want the good stuff and then they become hungry hippos for the good stuff; it's like give me that juice. Todd: And you're only going to be doing the things that give them the juice, which is usually these new activities and new habits that you've done in your life. Marie: What we're doing is misinterpreting some really good stuff that's happening inside of our body especially when we're around that stage with resistance. I think resistance is such an interesting topic so let's dive a little bit deeper into that resistance. Todd: After all the work that I've done with professional athletes, amateur athletes, Olympic athletes and executives as well, there's basically two categories of people that I've classed people in; there's OWW brainers and WOW brainers. The difference between the two is this: OOW brain people, when they're faced with a challenge, some sort of obstacle, when they're going through a process of change will automatically start the dialogue or the story that they tell themselves. They feel this vibration that's going on and then what they attach to it is "I'm not really feeling this, this isn't right for me, why should I bother anyway, I've always been like this," things like that is all wrapped around that type of story. When you're telling yourself that, of course you're going to end up quitting on it. There's basically three categories of story that we wrap around it; there is this feeling of being stuck, this feeling of being bored and then this need to feel safe, retracting into ourselves so it's like a comfort zone. People are stuck, they're bored and they're safe. If you notice that's what happening in your life, you've fallen into this path of this OWW brain. Marie: The OWW brain too is like "ow, that hurts, I want to step away, this isn't feeling right, this isn't feeling good, let me go retreat to my old habits." If we can, before we go onto the WOW brain, I've seen this so much in the programs that I teach because I see the two different people and the folks that have the OWW brain the moment that they're trying a new framework in marketing or they're trying to be more organized or trying to stick to a schedule, they're like "I'm just not built like this, this doesn't work for me," and that's amazing because I'll see this whole other track of people that respond to the same information in a different way and it's just extraordinary. Todd: It's not like we're just one thing; it's segmented parts of our life. For me, it could be the idea of me giving up chocolate cake; that's OWW to me. Another word that's wrapped around it is pain; it's a pain part of our brain and OWW is about pain. The dialogue that happens and continues on with that is "maybe my friends will leave me as well if I continue on this." Here's the reality: if you're going to build a business for yourself and you're going to become more successful, you're going to lose friends. You will. I did; you probably did as well. You don't hang around with the same people anymore. Marie: Lets talk about the WOW brain. Todd: WOW brain people, when they're going through this resistance, is they're seeing things as more pleasurable and it's "this is feeling really good, I can't wait to see what happens out of this, I wonder what opportunities are going to unfold for me because of this, there's so many things that I'm learning and growing and I never would have expected this." It's all about this sense of WOW. Three other categories that they revolve around is growth, confidence is another and the other one is adventure. People that are going through the OWW brain, they're dealing with feeling stuck, bored and feeling the need for safety; growth, confidence and adventure for people that are in the WOW brain. When you move those circles together, if growth, confidence and adventure were all circles and we moved them together, where growth and confidence overlap, then we get momentum when we're growing and we feel good about our growth and we're moving on things. Momentum is the exact opposite of feeling stuck. Then when we have confidence and adventure coming together, now we have excitement in our life as well. Excitement is the exact opposite of feeling bored. Then we have growth and adventure, which is all about transformation. When we go on an adventure and we grow from it, we transform and we're not safe. And in the center of it all is leadership. When you take a look at your own brand, and I'm not doing this because I'm on MarieTV and give you a bunch of affirmations, it has all those things going on and if people just wrapped their lives more around this idea of just growing, getting more confidence from our growth and learning to look at life with more of an adventurous spirit, then change isn't so daunting. Plus with this new knowledge of this chemical cocktail that's going to go is going to go on all the time anyway and I'm tired of feeding those hungry hippos nothing but cortisol and stress. Marie: Right. I love this. This is so fun. Every time I hear you talk about this, I really just get excited. We've got the framework, we're starting to know this, we've got the OWW brain and the WOW brain and we all have a little bit of both in our lives, so let's go on. If we find ourselves in the position of being in OWW associating some kind of pain pulling back when we know the change that we want to make is really in our best interest, it's something that's really good for us and something ultimately we want. What are some practical steps that we can take to support ourselves to move into more of that WOW position? Todd: There are five prescriptions that I give people. One is you have to have a vision that's clear and very specific. People have heard that before. It's not that its something new and shiny object type of thing. I'm not talking about this grand vision off into the future but if it's a very small change that we're trying to make or if we're trying to break a habit, what does that look like, specifically what am I trying to change about myself or what's the new skill? If we take a look at growth and confidence and adventure, what's a vision that I have about my growth that I can be growing in my business and what does that look like for me and very tangible it has to be. Marie: I can give you an example that can help illustrate this. I just did this 14 day detox with Josh and it wasn't necessarily like I had this ultra clear vision of what it would look like, but it was a specific thing. These 14 days, it was concrete, I understood there was a plan, there was a place I was going to get to and I knew the kind of things I was going to eliminate on my path, so it made it so easy rather than this big grand vision of being the perfect healthy person forever. It was specific, it was concrete and it gave us something to work from. Todd: You used the keyword "path"; the path is everything. You saw the path. There was no guessing and uncertainty. Uncertainty is the enemy to the OWW brainer. If there is uncertainty, you're going to get resistance and self-sabotage in your life then. Just be specific and clear about what it is that you're trying to go after. The second thing is to set trigger goals for yourself. Trigger goals are about the little micro changes that we need to be set up for ourselves in order to maybe accomplish the bigger goal. If I'm trying to start a new exercise regimen, a trigger goal is if I pull the thread on that goal of going to the gym, what's one of the first actions I would even ever have to take in order to get to the gym? It would be four times this week, I'm going to get dressed up in my Lululemon gear in my home because probability says that I'm more than like going to take the next step which is maybe walk out the door. Trigger goals would be five times this week, I'm going to get dressed up and it's the complete opposite about what most people hear about goal setting. I want to find what is the behavioral action step that you can take because I know that if I get you to walking down that path, the likelihood of you getting to the gym is just that much more likely. The next goal on top of that would be to open up the door five times this week with the mission of going to the gym. We're not even at the gym yet and those are things we do when we accomplish it. There is a little dopamine dump that we get because we did achieve the thing that we set up that we were going to do. Marie: It's almost building on small wins. I can think about it in terms of productivity. I know for me one of the biggest habits that I developed that serves me so much, and I always recommend it, end of day and take out my notebook, setup for the next day. Huge, simple trigger goal impacts my level of accomplishment, how I feel about myself, how rested I can be when I go to bed, just doing that one simple tiny action that cascades into incredible results in every part of my life. Todd: What's funny about that goal you set for yourself is when I take a look at one of the hallmarks of a WOW brainer, people who do achieve quite a bit, that's one of their things that they. They are fantastic at planning out their tomorrow, today. Marie: I love it; it gets me high. I get so excited. Todd: Think about it. For me, it's like this sense of excitement expectancy now because I'm taking control of my day, not control in that I'm going to force things to happen but there's an internal power that we get from that. Marie: Absolutely. Also, a sense that we know that we can't control so much of what happens so to go in at least with a plan of "okay, this is what's really important for me, so no matter what else happens, I got this to go in there with. It may not always work out but at least coming in prepared." Todd: Number three would be to set improvement goals. Improvement goals are really important and are all about numbers with a date attached to them. The great thing about photo albums is that we can see change in photo albums. When I see myself at 5 or at 15, I can see the visual change that's happening, but when people maybe sign up for one of your programs, if I don't set up an improvement goal for myself, then it's really hard for me to know and get feedback for myself of, is this improving, am I growing from this, so I can get more confidence with my abilities and capabilities. An improvement goal would be, for example, if it's working out again; I will improvement the number of pushups I can do consecutively from 5 to 15 by X date, six weeks from now, four weeks from now, whatever it is. If someone is in a sales type role, I will improve the number of successful calls that I make to prospects from three per day to six per day, by a date. Then I can put that on a plot chart and I can see it go up or I can see it go down, and in the feedback loop we see, "no wonder my sales are dropping because I'm not doing that one little activity." I don't need to beat myself up over it; it's just an improvement goal. Marie: It's that classic phrase; anything measured improves, anything measured and reported improves exponentially. Again I'll go back to this detox I was doing.