We're here in New York City.

我們現在在紐約市。

It's a big nor'easter in 2021.

2021年是個大北風。

And if you can see, the streets are basically empty.

而如果你能看到，街道上基本沒有人。

I mean, the city is kind of shut down right now.

我的意思是，這個城市現在是一種關閉的權利。

But we are going to do a brand-new show for you guys

但我們要為你們做一個全新的節目。

because we're here.

因為我們在這裡。

But if this were pre-pandemic times,

但如果這是流行病前的時代。

we would have to do the show with no audience anyway.

我們將不得不做反正沒有觀眾的節目。

So with that in mind,

所以，有鑑於此。

this might be the first normal show we've done in 10 months.

這可能是我們10個月來的第一次正常演出。

So let's do it! Welcome to "The Tonight Show"!

那就開始吧！歡迎來到 "今夜秀"！

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-From Rockefeller Center in the heart of New York City,

-來自紐約市中心的洛克菲勒中心。

it's "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon."

這是 "吉米-法倫主演的今夜秀"。

Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests --

今晚，加入吉米和他的嘉賓 --

Musical guest Remi Wolf,

音樂嘉賓雷米-沃爾夫。

and featuring the legendary Roots crew.

並有傳奇的Roots團隊參與。

And now here he is, Jimmy Fallon.

現在他來了，吉米-法倫。

♪♪

♪♪

-Thank you very much! Hello! Welcome! Thank you!

-謝謝你！你好！歡迎光臨！謝謝你！

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you very much, everybody.

非常感謝大家。

♪♪

♪♪

Hello, welcome, welcome,

你好，歡迎，歡迎。

welcome to "The Tonight Show," everybody.

歡迎來到 "今夜秀"，大家。

Thank you so much for being here.

非常感謝你能來這裡。

Thank you for watching at home. I appreciate it.

謝謝你在家觀看。我很感激。

Well, guys, the first nor'easter of 2021 began yesterday

好了，夥計們，2021年的第一個北極星昨天開始了。

and continued all day today,

並在今天持續了一整天。

just blasting the Northeast with snow.

就在東北地區下起了大雪。

Here in New York, a state of emergency was declared.

紐約這裡，宣佈進入緊急狀態。

I'm not really sure that was necessary.

我不確定有這個必要。

Since last March, our resting status

自去年3月以來，我們的休息狀態

has pretty much been state of emergency, but --

已經相當多的緊急狀態，但 -

That's right, New York City got nearly 2 feet of snow.

沒錯，紐約市下了將近兩英尺的雪。

All day, New Yorkers were frantically shoveling

整天，紐約人都在瘋狂地剷土。

until they remembered there's nowhere to go.

直到他們想起無處可去。

But what a crazy storm it's been so far --

但到目前為止，這是一場多麼瘋狂的風暴... ...

freezing temperatures, high winds, multiple feet of snow.

凍結的溫度，大風，多英尺的雪。

Today, even the anti-maskers were like, "Okay, give me one.

今天，連反面的人都說："好吧，給我一個。

Just -- Here --"

只是 -- 這裡 --"

The weather is so bad, tomorrow, Punxsutawney Phil

天氣這麼差，明天，Punxsutawney的Phil

is gonna pop out of his little groundhog Airbnb and be like,

是要去彈出 他的小土撥鼠Airbnb和像，

"What do you think I'm predicting?

"你以為我在預測什麼？

Go bother Sam Champion with this crap."

去麻煩薩姆-冠軍，用這種垃圾。"

Seriously, the weather was so brutal,

說真的，天氣太殘酷了。

even Joe Biden spent the day at Mar-A-Lago.

連喬-拜登都在Mar -A -Lago度過了一天。

[ Laughter, groaning ]

[笑聲，呻吟]

That's right. The East Coast is being rocked

沒錯，東海岸正在被震動。 That's right.東海岸正在被震撼

by a blizzard right now.

由暴風雪現在。

In New York, it is so cold --

在紐約，它是如此的寒冷 -

-How cold is it?

-現在有多冷？

-It's so cold, I saw a subway rat

-太冷了，我看到了一隻地鐵老鼠。

wearing a pair of Bernie mittens.

戴著一雙伯尼的手套。

It is so cold.

好冷啊

-How cold is it?

-現在有多冷？

-It's so cold, Pfizer and Moderna

-太冷了，輝瑞公司和摩德納公司。

are storing their vaccines outside on Fifth Avenue.

正在第五大道的外面存放疫苗。

I mean, it is cold.

我的意思是，它是冷的。

-How cold is it?

-現在有多冷？

-It's so cold, the New Year's Eve ball went back up.

-太冷了，年夜球又漲了。

It is so cold.

好冷啊

-No, Jimmy, stop.

-不，吉米，停下

-What is it, Roots?

-怎麼了，根？

-When we say, "How cold is it?" we mean it literally.

-當我們說 "現在有多冷 "時，我們是指字面意思。

We actually want to know how cold it is.

其實我們想知道它有多冷。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Oh, it's like 35 degrees.

-哦，好像是35度。

-Thank you.

-謝謝你

[ Applause ]

[掌聲]

-But the snowstorm isn't bad news for everyone.

-但暴風雪對每個人來說都不是壞消息。

Take a look at how one of the pandas at the National Zoo

看看國家動物園裡的一隻大熊貓是怎樣的。

was handling it.

正在處理它。

Yeah, that panda either loves the snow or is incredibly drunk.

是啊，那隻熊貓要麼喜歡雪，要麼就是醉得不省人事。

30 seconds after this video,

30秒後，這個視頻。

the panda threw up bamboo for five straight minutes.

熊貓連續5分鐘吐竹。

They don't show that.

他們沒有顯示。

Meanwhile, here in New York,

同時，在紐約這裡，

kids got some pretty mixed news about schools this morning.

孩子們得到了一些相當複雜的消息 關於學校今天上午。

Listen to this.

聽聽這個。

-New York City schools are closed.

-紐約市的學校已經關閉。

However, students are required to learn remotely today.

但是，今天要求學生遠程學習。

-Yeah, in the split-second between hearing "schools closed"

-是的，在聽到 "學校關閉 "的一瞬間

and "remote learning,"

和 "遠程學習"，

every teacher finished a bottle of wine.

每個老師都喝完了一瓶酒。

Yeah.

是啊。

Come on. They made them go to school on a snow day?

別這樣嘛他們讓他們在雪天去上學？

Seriously, those Zoom rooms must've looked like

說真的，那些Zoom房間看起來一定像

a pissed-off "Brady Bunch" opening.

一個生氣的 "布雷迪幫 "開場。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Well, guys, today in Washington, President Biden

夥計們 今天在華盛頓 拜登總統...

met with 10 Republican senators about their COVID relief plan.

與10名共和黨參議員會面，討論他們的COVID救濟計劃。

They want about $600 billion in aid,

他們希望得到大約6000億美元的援助。

while Democrats want $1.9 trillion.

而民主黨則要1.9萬億美元。

Yeah, the meeting got heated.

是啊，會議變得很激烈。

According to the transcript, Biden shouted 12 "come on, mans"

根據筆錄，拜登喊了12聲 "來吧，夥計們"

and 19 "gimme a breaks."

和19 "給我一個休息。"

Well, this isn't good. The impeachment trial is next week,

這可不好彈劾案的審判是在下週。

and Trump's legal team doesn't seem ready. Watch this.

而特朗普的法律團隊似乎還沒有準備好。看好了

-With just days to go until his second impeachment trial,

-距離他的第二次彈劾審判只有幾天時間了。

all five of the impeachment lawyers

五位彈劾律師

expected to represent former president Donald Trump

預計將代表前總統唐納德-特朗普

have quit, splitting over a disagreement in strategy.

紛紛退出，因戰略上的分歧而分道揚鑣。

-Trump was furious.

-特朗普很生氣。

Not that they quit -- that he couldn't fire them on Twitter.

不是說他們不幹了--他不能在推特上開除他們。

Yeah, Trump and his lawyers disagreed on strategy.

是啊，特朗普和他的律師在策略上有分歧。

Apparently, Trump got upset when they wanted to have one.

顯然，當他們想擁有一個時，特朗普很不高興。

But there's good news for Trump,

但對特朗普來說，有一個好消息。

because after he lost five lawyers,

因為他失去了五個律師之後。

he was able to replace them with two new ones.

他能夠用兩個新的來代替它們。

Can we hear a little bit about them?

我們能不能聽一聽他們的故事？

-Donald Trump has picked two new attorneys,

唐納德-特朗普已經挑選了兩名新律師。

David Schoen and Bruce Castor.

David Schoen和Bruce Castor。

-David Schoen was consulting with Jeffrey Epstein

David Schoen是傑弗裡-愛潑斯坦的顧問。

before his death.

在他去世前。

Bruce Castor, most notably, deciding not to go ahead

布魯斯-卡斯特，最主要的是，決定不走了。

with the prosecution against Bill Cosby in 2005.

與2005年對比爾-科斯比的起訴。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-What? Was the guy who defended Saddam Hussein not available?

-什麼？為薩達姆-侯賽因辯護的人不在嗎？

I mean --

我是說...

[ Laughter, applause ]

[笑聲，掌聲]

Even Rudy Giuliani thought, "You're going with these guys?"

連魯迪-朱利安尼都覺得，"你要和這些人一起去？"

Listen to this. If you're still traveling during the pandemic,

聽聽這個。如果你還在大流行期間旅行。

maybe this will give you something else to think about.

也許這能給你一些其他的思考。

-According to a safety reporting system run by NASA,

-根據美國航天局的安全報告系統。

the rise of in-flight errors during commercial flights

商業飛行中的機上失誤增多的問題

is being blamed on pilots being rusty because of the pandemic.

是被歸咎於飛行員因為流行病而生疏。

-Don't worry. It's just like riding a bike

-別擔心別擔心，就像騎自行車一樣

30,000 feet above the ground.

離地面3萬英尺。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

It's not good when you hear a pilot walk into the cockpit

當你聽到一個飛行員走進駕駛艙時，就會覺得不妙了

and go, "Oh, boy."

並去，"哦，男孩。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

"There's buttons on the ceilings, too?" [ Babbles ]

"天花板上也有按鈕？"[胡言亂語]

Some business news. I saw that this month,

一些商業新聞。我看到這個月。

Dunkin' Donuts is offering free coffee every Monday.

Dunkin' Donuts每週一提供免費咖啡。

Well, in honor of that, we'd like to give a little shout-out

好吧，為了表示敬意，我們想給一個小的讚美聲

to their most loyal customer in history.

獻給他們歷史上最忠誠的客戶。

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ Yeah ♪

-是啊

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-That's my dude.

-那是我的兄弟

I read about a woman in Minnesota

我讀到明尼蘇達州的一個女人

who wanted to show her daughter her wedding dress

她想給女兒看婚紗

but had an interesting surprise. Check this out.

卻有一個有趣的驚喜。看看這個。

-A Minnesota woman is on a quest to find her wedding gown.

-一個明尼蘇達州的女人正在尋找她的婚紗。

Wendy Taylor pulled out the box

溫迪-泰勒拿出了盒子

she paid to have professionally packaged 14 years ago,

她14年前就花錢請人專業包裝了。

but she was was shocked to find

但她卻震驚地發現

her gown had been swapped with someone else's.

她的袍子已經和別人的換了。

-Yeah. Then she opened the frozen wedding cake

-是的然後她打開了冷凍婚禮蛋糕

in the freezer and discovered it was a burrito.

在冰箱裡，發現這是一個捲餅。

The woman was like, "This can't be my wedding dress

那女人說："這不可能是我的婚紗

because it doesn't fit me at all."

因為它根本就不適合我。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

And finally, I heard about a man in Idaho

最後，我聽說愛達荷州的一個男人

who just won the lottery for the sixth time.

誰剛剛贏得了彩票的第六次。

Yeah, this last jackpot was $250,000.

是啊，最後這個大獎是25萬美金。

And with the money, he plans to buy Idaho.

而他計劃用這筆錢買下愛達荷州。

Guys, I am so psyched that Bryan Cranston is here tonight.

夥計們，我太激動了，布萊恩・克蘭斯頓今晚在這裡。

We love Bryan Cranston.

我們愛布萊恩-克蘭斯頓。

We were actually texting over the weekend,

其實我們週末還在發短信。

and it turns out that we're both obsessed with fancy soaps.

事實證明，我們都迷戀 花哨的肥皂。

Yeah, here, check this out.

是啊，在這裡，檢查了這一點。

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ Fancy soaps in a fancy dish ♪

# 花哨的肥皂在花哨的盤子裡 # # Fancy soaps in a fancy dish #

♪ One's a seashell, one's a fish ♪

一個是貝殼，一個是魚

♪ One soap's purple, one soap's teal ♪

一塊肥皂的紫色，一塊肥皂的茶色

♪ One soap's made with dry oatmeal ♪

有一種肥皂是用幹燕麥做的?

-♪ Lavender, lemongrass, lily, lilac ♪

-薰衣草，香茅，百合，丁香?

♪ This one comes in a drawstring sack ♪

這一個來在一個拉繩袋

♪ Tiny soaps, vanilla and plum ♪

小小的肥皂，香草和李子

-♪ Put them out when company comes ♪

# 公司來了就把它們放出去 #

-♪ Soaps were made to make you cleaner ♪

-肥皂是為了讓你更清潔

-♪ This one's citrus, that's verbena ♪

-這個是柑橘，那個是馬鞭草？

-♪ Heart-shaped soaps for a love that's true ♪

*心形香皂為真愛而生 *

-♪ Crystal soap you can see right through ♪

-? 水晶皁你可以看到正確的通過?

♪ Dish, terrine, platter, tray ♪

碟子、盤子、盤子、盤子?

♪ Fancy soaps go on display ♪

花式香皂去展示

-♪ Pine tree soap to put in your pocket ♪

# 松樹香皂放在你的口袋裡 # # Pine tree soap to put in your pocket #

-♪ Goat milk soap from the farmer's market ♪

# 農貿市場的羊奶皁 # # Goat milk soap from the farmer's market #

-♪ Tea time soap with chamomile ♪

-茶時間香皂與洋甘菊？

-♪ Shea butter soap for a softer feel ♪

-? 乳木果油香皂，手感更柔軟?

-♪ Fruity soaps smell like fruit snacks ♪

-水果香皂聞起來像水果零食的味道

-♪ Lava soap that's entirely black ♪

-? 熔岩肥皂，完全是黑色的?

-♪ When a friend stops by whether ready or not ♪

-當一個朋友停下來 不管準備好了還是沒有

♪ No liquid soap for a two-pump shot ♪

沒有液體肥皂的兩個泵拍攝？

♪ Not potpourri nor candlesticks ♪

不是大鍋飯也不是燭臺?

♪ Just fancy soaps in a fancy dish ♪

只是看中的肥皂 在一個花哨的菜

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-My thanks to Bryan Cranston!

我感謝布萊恩-克蘭斯頓！