Put your hands on me, Jack.

把你的手放在我身上，傑克

I'm the king of the world.

我是世界之王。

I will stop filming this right now.

我現在就不拍了

I feel like we nailed that.

我覺得我們已經成功了

Hey, welcome to the Recast.

嘿，歡迎來到重鑄。

I'm Micah Fox and I'm Karen Fan.

我是Micah Fox，我是Karen Fan.

And today we're going to recast the Love Story classic Titanic.

而今天我們要重鑄愛情故事的經典之作《泰坦尼克號》。

So original cast of the movie Leo, Right?

所以電影《獅子座》的原班人馬，對吧？

Let's have a moment of silence for how hot he thinks is classic Leo, too.

讓我們也為他認為是經典的獅子座的性感默哀一下吧。

And like, kind of like he was like this hot Leo And then, like what's eating Gilbert Grape Leo, too.

就像，有點像他是這樣的熱獅子座 然後，像什麼吃 吉爾伯特葡萄獅子座，太。

So you could, like, go back and forth between, like, Special Leo and, like, really special Leo.

所以，你可以，喜歡，來回之間， 喜歡，特殊的獅子座和，喜歡，真正特殊的獅子座。

I was a Romeo and Juliet Leo, which is bringing the right.

我是一個羅密歐與朱麗葉的獅子座，這是帶來的權利。

So he was a hot babe and then, and Kate Winslet.

所以，他是一個性感的寶貝，然後，和凱特-溫斯萊特。

She was gorgeous over his hand, on the car door, on the card or the steamy car door.

她在他的手上，在車門上，在卡上，還是在蒸汽車門上，都是華麗的。

That's the only part of the movie I really remember.

這是我唯一記得的電影部分。

I thought sex was always gonna be like that.

我以為性愛總是這樣的。

Let's get into it.

我們開始吧

I'm ready.

我已經準備好了

Let's recast this bitch.

讓我們重鑄這個婊子。

Here's who I got for Jack.

這是我給傑克找的人

We can't have Leo anymore because he survived the Titanic and ended up on a yacht full of younger women.

我們不能再有獅子座了，因為他從泰坦尼克號上倖存下來，最後上了一艘滿是年輕女人的遊艇。

This is a controversial take, but I really feel like Gilbert Godfrey.

這是一個有爭議的觀點，但我真的覺得自己像吉爾伯特-戈弗雷。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

E King And I would watch.

E王我就會看。

I don't wanna know what poor woman you're casting opposite Gilbert Godfrey.

我不想知道你讓哪個可憐的女人和Gilbert Godfrey演對手戲。

Then he's gonna have to kiss and make love with your out of your mind.

那他就得和你親親熱熱的做愛，把你弄瘋了。

I guess I love you Would watch 100%.

我想我愛你 會看100％。

You would watch every step of the way that I watched those, like dog abuse videos.

你會看我看那些的每一步，比如虐狗視頻。

Like Like I can't look away, But I'm not having fun.

就像我無法移開視線，但我並不開心。

E put your hands on me like I'll pay me like your French e Good.

把你的手放在我身上，就像我會付給我錢一樣，就像你的法語一樣好。

Okay, e cast the hot young guy Got to You should cast the hot like the hottest youngest, hottest guy right now.

好吧，E投熱的年輕小夥得 你應該投熱的像最熱的年輕，最熱的傢伙現在。

Oh, God, Shawn Mendez.

哦，上帝，肖恩-門德斯。

Oh, why?

哦，為什麼？

Who's ruining every Taylor Swift?

誰在毀掉每一個泰勒-斯威夫特？

So he's not ruining my wet dreams at night, that's for sure.

所以他沒有破壞我晚上的溼夢，這是肯定的。

I love him.

我愛他

You're gonna Shawn Mendez is He's like a hot pop singer, and he's in all my dreams and I love him.

你會肖恩-門德斯是 他就像一個熱的流行歌手， 他在我所有的夢想，我愛他。

I guess I just like an older man.

我想我只是喜歡一個老男人。

Yeah.

是啊。

You think that Gilbert is a very older man?

你覺得吉爾伯特是個很老的人嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

He's like 75.

他就像75歲。

Love that he was around in the actual Titanic was he would he would bring You want So much for calling the knowledge to it.

愛他在實際的泰坦尼克號周圍是他會他會把你想這麼多的知識調用它。

But it has to be a love story.

但它必須是一個愛情故事。

I'm vetoing Gilbert.

我要否決Gilbert

No, I will.

不，我會的。

I will stop filming this right now.

我現在就不拍了

Fine.

好吧

Okay, fine.

好吧，好吧。

Shawn Mendez is Jack Dawson.

肖恩-門德斯是傑克-道森。

You're right, ladies.

你是對的，女士們。

You're welcome.

不客氣

Okay, so for Rose are budding beautiful love interest, right?

好吧，那麼對於玫瑰來說，都是萌萌噠的美女情敵吧？

Caitlin's the character.

凱特琳的性格。

I say Timothy shallowing He was in little women.

我說提摩太淺他在小女人。

Oh, he's beautiful, Timothy Gore.

哦，他真漂亮，蒂莫西-戈爾。

But now, here's my thing.

但現在，這是我的事情。

Timothy and Shawn Mendez.

Timothy和Shawn Mendez

That is that super hot.

就是這麼超級火爆。

That is very hot.

這是很熱的。

So should we even hear your choices and go similar way?

那麼，我們是否應該連聽你的選擇都要走類似的路呢？

Got to here.

到了這裡。

Why were you gonna throw to the wolves?

你為什麼要扔到狼群裡去？

Okay, So who who's worthy of your Sean Mindy to recast Rose DeWitt Bukater who cater?

好吧，那麼，誰是誰值得你的肖恩-明迪重鑄羅斯-德維特-布卡特誰迎合？

I was going to recast Rose McGowan.

我本來想讓羅絲-麥高恩重演的。

Oh, sure.

哦，當然

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Right in the same name would be easy for her to member because she was clearly lost her mind.

對在同名會很容易讓她會員，因為她顯然是失去了理智。

She shaved her head so she would be good in the water.

她剃了頭，這樣她在水裡就會很好。

The great streamline in the ocean.

海中的大流線。

It makes sense for her to be a fast swimmer but her.

她的游泳速度快是有道理的，但她的。

And like Mendez, I feel like, you know, with all of her experience with the Me too, You know, she's not gonna take advantage of him.

就像門德斯一樣，我覺得，你知道，以她和 "我也是 "的經驗，你知道，她不會利用他的。

Even though he's younger than her.

雖然他比她年輕。

It will be a very consensual relationship on the great wide ocean.

這將是大洋彼岸的一種非常合意的關係。

Screw consent.

去他媽的同意。

It's a boat.

這是一條船。

It's going down.

它的下降。

And I say I like going down on a boat.

而我說我喜歡坐船下去。

It's Timothy Shamel and Shawn Mendez.

是Timothy Shamel和Shawn Mendez.

E don't feel that passionately about my rose choice.

E對我的玫瑰選擇沒有那麼大的熱情。

So I'll give you Timmy.

所以我給你提米。

Okay, so we have the greatest gay love story of all time.

好吧，所以我們有最偉大的同志愛情故事的所有時間。

So time to move on to an old woman makes sense with the gay cruise, right?

所以，該移情別戀的老女人與同志巡遊是有道理的吧？

You're absolutely right.

你說的很對

So for Old Rose, played by Gloria Stuart who?

那麼對於老玫瑰來說，由格洛麗亞-斯圖亞特扮演的是誰呢？

Everybody knows the best old Rose there.

每個人都知道那裡最好的老羅斯。

Waas oldest Rose in the book you got for Old Rose, The heartbreaker, The one who drops the heart in the ocean.

華斯最老的玫瑰在書中，你得到的老玫瑰，心碎者，在海洋中放下心的人。

I decided to use Hillary Clinton.

我決定用希拉里-克林頓。

Yeah, if anyone's gonna ruin and ending its that bitch, she always does.

是啊，如果有人要毀掉這個結局，那就是那個婊子，她總是這樣。

Like what?

像什麼？

What did you do that you blew?

你做了什麼讓你吹了？

It blew a stink.

它吹得很臭。

You could have You could have had something forever.

你本可以永遠擁有一些東西。

Right?

對吧？

And instead, you just dropped it into the great abyss.

而你卻把它丟進了巨大的深淵。

I liked the idea I chose for Old Rose.

我喜歡我選擇老玫瑰的想法。

And I love calling her old Rose.

而且我喜歡叫她老玫瑰。

Yeah, because she's so old.

是啊，因為她太老了。

She's so old.

她太老了

Um, I went with Kathy Griffin red hair so mean she's because she's not that old just because she has spent so much money toe look, 50 I know her facelifts are older than she.

嗯，我去了凱西-格里芬紅頭髮這麼刻薄她是因為她沒那麼老只是因為她花了那麼多錢趾高氣揚的樣子，50歲我知道她整容比她老。

She's so old so but wouldn't you be like a fiery cause?

她這麼大了，所以，但你不就像一個火熱的事業嗎？

She could still have the red hair just bragging about all the time she got laid?

她還能有一頭紅髮，只是在吹噓自己曾經上過床？

Yeah, And she's a gay icon, so that, like, this is all time together, whether we tried to or not Gay Cruise, Kathy Griffin's headlining reverie.

是啊，她是一個同志偶像， 所以，像，這是所有的時間在一起， 無論我們試圖或沒有同志克魯斯， 凱西格里芬的頭條遐想。

All right, so I think we go Cathy instead of Hill.

好吧，所以我想我們用凱西代替希爾

That's so tough.

這真是太難了。

Because Hillary, she's such a disappointment.

因為希拉里，她太讓人失望了。

Garbage on camera, though.

鏡頭下的垃圾，但。

Like she's not gonna sell that scene.

就像她不會賣掉那場戲。

No, you're right.

不，你是對的。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

You're right.

你是對的

Okay, alright.

好吧，好吧。

I give it your right.

我給你的權利。

Kathy Griffin.

凱西-格里芬

Kathy, You're welcome.

凱西，不客氣

I'm getting you work.

我給你找工作。

She needs it.

她需要它。

She's always complaining.

她總是在抱怨。

You're right.

你是對的

Now we gotta recast Cal Hockley, the Billy Zane character.

現在我們要重新塑造Cal Hockley, Billy Zane的角色.

The eyebrows of the film.

片中的眉毛。

Okay, so I think I have the perfect recast for this.

好吧，我想我有一個完美的重鑄。

I'm gonna give it to you because you're losing already.

我要把它給你，因為你已經輸了。

Whatever it is, it's not over till it's over.

不管是什麼事情，在結束之前都不會結束。

Well, I've got Martin Shkreli's Martin Carelli AIDS pill guides.

我有馬丁-史克雷利的馬丁-卡雷利艾滋病藥片指南。

Pill guy.

吃藥的傢伙。

He's such a villain.

他真是個小人。

He is, like, truly the biggest villain we have in a bit.

他是一樣，真正的最大的反派我們有一點。

But I think his intentions initially weren't that bad.

但我覺得他最初的意圖並不壞。

I think he was like, I'm gonna drive the price up and then it'll go down For all the aid you're being such a Rose's mom right now, fine again, like these people don't have a lot of experience on camera other than testifying in front of Congress or whatever.

我想他是想，我要把價格抬高，然後就會降下來 對於所有的援助，你現在是這樣一個羅斯的媽媽，再次罰款，就像這些人沒有很多的經驗，在相機上，除了在國會面前作證或什麼的。

Okay, Hollywood doesn't use actors anymore.

好吧，好萊塢不用演員了。

It's all about their social media following he's an influencer 8 $750 a pill that is a Cal Hockley move.

這都是關於他們的社交媒體追隨者他是一個有影響力的人8 750美元一粒這是卡爾-霍克利的舉動。

You started with Gilbert Godfried ended with AIDS Pill Guy.

你從吉爾伯特-戈弗裡德開始，以艾滋病藥丸男結束。

I'm just like your brain is nuts.

我就像你的大腦一樣，是個瘋子。

Who do you got?

你有誰？

Mario Lopez.

Mario Lopez.

Hey, later, I was sort of going with like a Latino theme.

嘿，後來，我是有點像拉丁主題。

When I started, I was like Shawn Mendez and I will get like Mario was like the older version she's going for the demos.

當我開始的時候，我就像肖恩-門德斯和我會得到像馬里奧是像舊版她的演示文稿。

Yeah.

是啊。

Trying to be a casting director.

想做一個選角導演。

Demo Pull.

演示拉。

Just casting politicians and AIDS pill guy.

只是鑄造政客和艾滋病藥丸的傢伙。

Listen, the news has become our new entertainment.

聽著，新聞已經成為我們的新娛樂。

Fine.

好吧

You can have.

你可以有。

Yes, that's the type in Martin scarily looking really his name.

是的，這就是馬丁的類型嚇看真的他的名字。

Take up the whole call sheet Shkreli.

佔用了整個通話單史克雷利。

He'll do it too.

他也會這樣做的。

Okay, so coming soon to a theater near nobody, we have Jack being played by Karen's Shawn Mendez Mendez, uh, going face to face with the gorgeous Timothy Shallow Ming as Rose Old Rose.

好了，馬上就要到無人的劇院了，我們有傑克被凱倫的肖恩-門德斯-門德斯飾演的，呃，要和華麗的蒂莫西-淺明飾演的玫瑰老玫瑰面對面。

We have Kathy Graphic Griffin and then, um, Cal Hockley, the Belizean character played by Martin Shkreli.

我們有Kathy Graphic Griffin，然後，嗯，Cal Hockley，由Martin Shkreli扮演的貝裡斯角色。

It's guy a k a spill guy.

這是傢伙一個K一個洩漏的傢伙。

That's what we'll actually say in the credit.

這就是我們在信用中實際會說的。

I love it.

我喜歡它。

Let's watch that I would watch it.

讓我們看，我會看的。

I mean, 40 hours of it.

我的意思是，40個小時。

Three hours.

三小時