- It means come live your life with me.

- 意思是和我一起過日子吧。

So what do you say?

那你怎麼說？

- I mean, I..

- 我的意思是，我...

(Rip chuckles)

(Rip笑著說)

I would like some diamonds, actually.

其實我想買一些鑽石。

- So this is the segment of our show

- 所以這就是我們節目的環節

where we play the game "Beth or Rip."

在那裡，我們玩的遊戲 "貝絲或撕裂。"

- This is a variety show, after all.

- 這畢竟是一檔綜藝節目。

- We'll be right back.

- 我們馬上回來。

(rock music)

(搖滾樂)

Gentlemen.

先生們

- Come on!

- 來吧！

(western music)

(西部音樂)

- I'll begin.

- 我開始吧

Who is cleaning the dishes

誰在洗碗？

after dinner each night, Beth or Rip?

每天晚飯後，貝絲還是瑞普？

- I'll sit here in my jeans and I'll watch you do it.

- 我會穿著牛仔褲坐在這裡看你做。

What do you say?

你說什麼？

- Rip. - Rip.

- 撕開。- 撕開。

- A hundred percent.

- 百分之百。

- Who's doing the laundry?

- 誰在洗衣服？

- Rip. - Rip.

- 撕開。- 撕開。

- Can I throw a wildcard in?

- 我可以扔個通配符進去嗎？

I think they're paying someone to do that.

我想他們是花錢請人做的。

- I love that.

- 我喜歡這樣

- I don't think they're gonna be bothered to do that.

- 我不認為他們會被打擾這樣做。

- It's just, really, we have Beth or Rip-

- 這只是，真的，我們有貝絲或Rip-

- Right, but Rip wears the same thing every day.

- 對，但裡普每天都穿同樣的衣服。

So Beth.

所以貝絲。

- Great point.

- 說得好

(chuckles) Rip hasn't done laundry in 10 years.

裡普已經10年沒洗過衣服了。

- So Beth.

- 所以貝絲。

- He is very domesticated.

- 他很有家國情懷。

- But if you want-

- 但如果你想...

- He's got an apron, he's makin' breakfast-

- 他有一條圍裙，他在做早餐...

- So he's gonna do all of her laundry?

- 所以他要幫她洗所有的衣服？

- Yeah, and I think he likes it.

- 是的，我想他喜歡它。

- You're a real Renaissance man, you know that?

- 你是一個真正的文藝復興時期的人，你知道嗎？

- Don't tell anybody, now.

- 不要告訴任何人，現在。

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

- Who is most likely to rip the marriage apart

- 誰最有可能撕碎這段婚姻？

with an inter marital affair, Beth or Rip?

有婚外情的，貝絲還是瑞普？

- If I was a man, I'd buy an apartment complex

- 如果我是男人，我會買一個公寓樓

and I'd fill it up with buxom little bunnies.

我會用豐滿的小兔子把它填滿。

I'd start on the first floor Friday

我星期五從一樓開始

and end up on the roof by Sunday.

並在週日之前結束在屋頂上。

- Would either of them commit that act

- 他們中的任何一個人都會做出這種行為

of profound cruelty? - At this point,

的深刻殘酷？- 在這一點上。

it would be..

這將是

not productive.

沒有成效。

- You're saying that neither of those people

- 你是說這些人都沒有

who have committed profound acts

罄竹難書

of heinous violence- - Disagree. Beth.

我不同意。不同意 - Beth

- You think Beth. (beep)

- 你認為貝絲。(嗶)

- Who stocks the fridge with beer?

- 誰在冰箱裡放啤酒？

- Rip!

- 撕開！

(beer sloshing)

（啤酒嗖嗖）

- Feel better?

- 感覺好點了嗎？

- Not yet.

- 還沒有

- No, see there's this complete role reversal.

- 不，你看這完全是角色的顛倒。

She does it for him.

她是為了他才這麼做的。

It's one of the few things she does for him

這是她為他做的為數不多的事情之一。

that he would do that she, it's her language of love.

他竟然會這麼做，她，這是她的愛的語言。

- I shoulda known it was you.

- 我早該知道是你

- It is. Because remember when they're on the porch

- 是的因為記得當他們在門廊上的時候

and they have that beer together?

他們一起喝啤酒？

That's something that she values.

這是她所看重的。

- Who's cooking Sunday breakfast?

- 誰在做週日早餐？

- Well, apparently- - Rip!

- 嗯，顯然...

- Gator?

- 蓋特？

(Ian laughs)

（伊恩笑）

- I mean, I guess Rip would do that

- 我的意思是，我猜裡普會這樣做的

because he did cook breakfast for them already

因為他已經為他們做了早餐

in one scene when they woke up.

在一個場景中，當他們醒來的時候。

- Language of love.

- 愛的語言。

- Coffee? (beep)

- 咖啡？（嗶嗶聲）

- Who's handling the household budgets?

- 誰在處理家庭預算？

I would obviously say Beth.

我顯然會說貝絲。

- Beth, yeah. - That's like, the super-

- 貝絲，是的。- 這就像，超級

- The money mind.

- 錢的心思。

- The stock will drop below 10,

- 該股將跌破10。

SEC will suspend trading,

證監會將暫停交易。

and every creditor you have will file on you.

你的每一個債權人都會對你進行起訴。

Your company will be chapter 11 by Friday.

你的公司在週五前就會成為第11章。

(dramatic music) (beep)

（戲劇性的音樂） （嗶嗶聲）

- Who's changing the bedsheets?

- 誰在換床單？

- Either of them might not care a whole lot.

- 他們中的任何一個人可能都不會很在意。

- Are you sick?

- 你病了嗎？

- Do I look sick?

- 我看起來有病嗎？

- You're in bed at noon.

- 你中午就在床上了。

- Rip. He's that still as his duty.

- 撕。他是，仍然是他的職責。

She does very specific languages.

她做的是非常特殊的語言。

- How long do you think he's gonna do that for her?

- 你覺得他還會為她做多久？

- For the rest of his life.

- 在他的餘生中。

- Rip is pretty fastidiously clean.

- 撕扯是相當快的乾淨的。

Have you ever seen his shirt untucked?

你見過他的襯衫沒穿嗎？

- No, 'cause he doesn't take it off.

- 不，因為他不脫。

- Exactly. It's always tucked in like the hotel bed sheets.

- 就是這樣。它總是像酒店的床單一樣被塞在裡面。

(fists slamming)

（拳頭猛擊）

(metal clanking)

（金屬叮噹聲）

- Yeah, we're not even sure if it's not stapled or glued.

- 是啊，我們甚至不確定它是不是沒有訂書釘或膠水。

- It's like that elastic paint or whatever

- 就像那種彈性塗料什麼的

that they paint on the models.

他們在模型上畫的。

- Oh yeah, like the body paint?

- 哦，是的，像車身油漆？

It's body paint. - Yeah, it's body paint.

這是車身油漆。- 是的，這是車身油漆。

- Just draw on the seams and- - Yeah.

- 就在接縫處畫畫，然後...

- The Western, the little buttons.

- 西方人，小鈕釦。

- And then when he has to like,

- 然後當他要喜歡。

have a scene with his shirt off,

有一個場景與他的襯衫關閉。

they just contour over the body paint.

他們只是在車身油漆上勾勒出輪廓。

- Yeah, that's another layer of body paint.

- 是啊，這又是一層車身漆。

- We've never actually seen Rip-

- 我們從來沒有真正見過Rip-

- They spackle him?

- 他們給他上了藥？

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

- You know like, in old apartments

- 你知道像，在舊公寓

where they've clearly just painted over the paint

在那裡，他們顯然是剛剛塗過的油漆

over and over again? - Yeah, that's what they do

一遍又一遍？- 是的，他們就是這樣做的

when he has to take his shirt off.

當他要脫衣服的時候。

- Are you trying to say that he looks like an old apartment?

- 你是想說他看起來像個老公寓嗎？

- With his contour.

- 隨著他的輪廓。

That's what he said.

他是這麼說的。

I said contour.

我說輪廓。

- I'm gonna kill you with my bare fuckin' hands, Jimmy.

- 我要親手殺了你，吉米

(beep) - Who does the food shopping?

誰來買菜？

- Rip.

- 撕開。

If he's gonna cook it. - Rip, I think.

如果他要去煮它。- 瑞普，我想。

You don't see Beth eat a whole lot.

你沒有看到貝絲吃了很多。

I feel like she's always skipping dinner.

我覺得她總是不吃晚飯。

- I don't think she's made it through a whole meal

- 我想她還沒吃過一頓飯呢。

since she was 11.

從她11歲開始

- She's always storming away-

- 她總是暴走

- She's using her utensils to stab people with.

- 她用她的器具去刺人。

- Oh!

- 哦！

- (laughs) Exactly.

- (笑)正是如此。

- I think she does.

- 我想她是的

I think she's the surgical.

我想她是手術的。

She gathers all the information,

她收集了所有的資訊。

puts it down, and then he is left

把它放下，然後他被留在

to manipulate it and use it.

來操縱它和使用它。

But it's up to her.

但這取決於她。

She does the programming.

她負責編程。

- I have a plan for everything.

- 我對一切都有計劃。

- But like, the shopping list is like, vodka and ice cream.

- 但是，購物清單就像，伏特加和冰淇淋。

- Two scoops of ice cream.

- 兩勺冰激凌。

Three shots of vodka.

三杯伏特加

(hand clapping) - I think I'm right on all,

我覺得我說的都對。

I think I've successfully answered these correctly.

我想我已經成功地正確回答了這些問題。

Yeah, I win.

是的，我贏了。

- Clearly.

- 很明顯

Without any debate.

沒有任何辯論。

He just wins. (rock music)

他只是贏了。（搖滾音樂）