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  • - Maybe we can compete on some sort of like duo,

  • like work together cooking show.

  • - I would love that,

  • I would just be dragging you down.

  • - Do you know how fast I would get competitive

  • and start screaming at you?

  • (blonde woman laughs)

  • I would get this close to your ear and be like,

  • "You are not gonna (beep) this up for me.

  • Don't (beep) with me."

  • (bells chiming)

  • Hi it's me Trixie Mattel

  • - And I'm Katya.

  • - And we are two Queens who like to watch.

  • And today we have the very distinct all day pleasure

  • of watching The great British Baking Show Holiday.

  • - Baking is cool, do you bake?

  • - I've never turned on my oven.

  • - Sometimes preheat at night, you'll turn it on.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • And that's nice.

  • (dramatic music)

  • Now, spoiler alert, there might be some British people

  • and some baking and some holidays

  • and I don't wanna ruin any of that for you so.

  • - Would you go on the show?

  • - I think you and I are more of a nailed it category,

  • you know what I mean?

  • - I would love to do, but with the knowledge that

  • no matter how hard I tried or prepared,

  • everything I made would come out totally (beep).

  • - Or at the last second, like, no matter what you do

  • they swap your dish for like the display dish,

  • and you're like, "And what?

  • Sorry about it.

  • Good luck."

  • (bells chiming)

  • - [Narrator] As the cast of the hit sit-com

  • "The Derry Girls" have descended on the tent.

  • - We've got the cast of "The Derry Girls"

  • we've got Nicola and Callum.

  • - Callum.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • - I feel like in the UK everybody's name's Callum and Gemma.

  • Literally I have (beep) like 10 guys in the UK

  • I swear to God they're always named Callum.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • I swear to God.

  • Hi, what's your-- let me guess you're Callum.

  • My name's Callum,

  • get in the car.

  • You know,

  • let's just get this going.

  • - This morning I had a feeling

  • something terrible was gonna happen

  • and also that

  • essentially deep down I'm kind of an evil person.

  • - It's called a hangover Claire you'll be grand.

  • - They seem like wild whores,

  • I bet they're a lot of fun.

  • - Yeah the Derry Girls seem like

  • they'd be fun to go out with.

  • - Fun at a party, turned fucking lit.

  • - I'm pretty nervous but at the same time

  • I'm like a savage, come on like,

  • yeah-- - What?

  • - Like at the end he just stopped talking.

  • I'm pretty nervous but at the same time I'm a savage.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • You know what though, hot people do that,

  • hot people, words are so optional.

  • - Judges would like you to make a large sharing trifle.

  • - Trifling, girl, everybody in my life is trifling.

  • - Trif-- no, what is that?

  • - I have no idea.

  • - I guess we'll find out.

  • - I hope they say trifle

  • and one of these girls just starts

  • pouring straight booze into a bowl.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • It's like a wop, right?

  • Like we all just put fruit in it,

  • okay, great.

  • By the way the hair on this show is all different journeys.

  • It looks like everybody's showing up

  • to a different show that day.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • - You have two and a half hours.

  • - On your marks.

  • - Get set. - Get set.

  • - Trifle is one of those classic--

  • - Oh who is that?

  • I've just been informed that

  • the hot judge's name is Paul Hollywood.

  • (Katya sighs)

  • Which means he's done porn.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • - Stop

  • - He's done pornography.

  • She's struggling.

  • - The perfect texture of a trifle--

  • - I love her with that scarf on.

  • - Old woman, fun glasses,

  • is she like the Martha Stewart of the UK?

  • Did she go to prison?

  • Did she do time?

  • - And of course the other key

  • is a good deal of Cherry or Brandy or whatever they like.

  • - Always back to the booze with these people.

  • - Is every activity in the UK just an excuse to drink?

  • - They're not being dehydrated by sunlight,

  • they need something else.

  • - You got one minute!

  • (dramatic music)

  • - It is really hard to bake off, it's really, really hard.

  • - Oh my God, hot tea and celebrities

  • having to do something for themselves for once.

  • - Oh I know.

  • - It could have been a bowl of cereal

  • and they would've been like,

  • "I can't believe this is going on."

  • - [Narrator] The Derry Girls' trifles

  • will now face the judgment of Paul and Pru.

  • - Let's have a look, shall we?

  • - Oh God!

  • (Katya wretches)

  • What are British people doing with food?

  • (Katya wretches)

  • We're gonna take these raw ingredients

  • and we're just gonna (beep) ruin them.

  • - That's literally everything.

  • - That's horrible.

  • That looks so gross.

  • - Oh God, they're gonna hate it.

  • - I think that tastes amazing.

  • - Oh really?

  • - Yeah,

  • it does. - Thank you.

  • - That literally looks like sour cream

  • and like green chilies or something.

  • - It looks like a (indistinct).

  • - I mean, I think it is a bit of a mess.

  • - Wait until you try it

  • you're gonna like it king

  • you're gonna liquor all over.

  • - Irish liquor all over

  • - Jesus.

  • She's talking to him like I would be.

  • And when you finish that spoon,

  • you're gonna lick this spoon until I'm cross-eyed bitch.

  • - You're gonna lick this (beep) clean.

  • - I do think it's delicious.

  • - They hate her for it.

  • - Just the right amount-- - They're all shocked.

  • - And the textures are spot on.

  • - Thank you so much.

  • - They're pissed.

  • - I'm livid.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • - Absolutely fuming,

  • I'm Absolutely (beep) fuming.

  • - Cool.

  • - See, that looks good.

  • - Don't you think?

  • It's like a cake with pudding on it.

  • - I hope it's not too stiff.

  • - Oua.

  • - Oua. - Oua, what is oua?

  • Does he know words?

  • How does he do acting?

  • It looks beautiful.

  • (mumbles)

  • It looks lovely, I love the layers,

  • (Trixie mumbles)

  • - Thank you, thanks guys.

  • - What an adorable, beautiful little man.

  • - Did a great job.

  • (Trixie and Katya clap)

  • (bells chiming gently)

  • - I like this show, this is very chill, chill energies.

  • - Yeah, good vibes only.

  • - This is a little more like everybody can bake.

  • If this was American

  • it would be like only one of you

  • will be leaving with your life.

  • You know. (Katya laughs)

  • - Seriously.

  • - Today we have to make a blood sausage

  • using blood from your daughter.

  • - And they just slit her throat right on TV.

  • - And you scramble to the ground to catch the blood.

  • - To catch the blood.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • - Yeah, you trying to scoop it into a glass.

  • (bells chime)

  • - They're making salmon and beetroot bleenies

  • which are like pancakes with--

  • - [Narrator] Into the technical blind.

  • - Hello bakers it's time for your

  • technical challenge-- - I love him.

  • - He has the best older goth fashion.

  • - 100%, by the way there's nothing kind of sexier

  • than like an older goth guy

  • who still likes to put on a little,

  • you know what I mean?

  • (Katya laughs)

  • I'm gonna be 19 wearing (indistinct), but guess what

  • I'm a goth bitch.

  • Like I hope he wears like a little boot with a heel,

  • you know what I mean?

  • - Yeah, I think he does.

  • - I hope so.

  • - Pru, any words of advice?

  • - Do as you're told.

  • - And you won't die.

  • - Why have you chosen bleenies?

  • - This is just such a nice dish for New Year,

  • cream cheese, beetroot and horseradish.

  • (Katya wretches)

  • - Is this crazy?

  • 'Cause this looks crazy.

  • - This is crazy.

  • - Today we're making ritz crackers

  • with toothpaste and bubblegum.

  • (beep) me up, literally Michael Myers choked me out

  • and stick his (beep) knife up my ass.

  • (Katya laughs)

  • I don't wanna live,

  • I don't wanna make it through.

  • How did she die?

  • Paul Hollywood dicked her down

  • before her eyeballs popped up out of her skull,

  • she's dead now.

  • She died doing what she loved.

  • (bells chime)

  • - Now all the contestants are rushing to finish the show

  • their nasty bleenies to the judges.

  • - Please bring your bleenies

  • and place them behind your photograph on the table.

  • - Holy (beep), I'm a vegetarian,

  • I wouldn't even been able to taste the food.

  • They would be tasting this

  • and I would just be like,

  • (Katya laughs)

  • panicked.

  • 'Cause I know they're gonna hate it,

  • I'd be leaving.

  • - Who's this?

  • They are both under browned

  • and yet slightly over cooked.

  • - Well done.

  • - Everything you've done is completely incorrect.

  • (Katya and Trixie clap)

  • Which means that--

  • (contestants clap)

  • - It's so delightful.

  • - It is very joyous.

  • And so like, no, you were great,

  • no, you were great.

  • If these were drag queens,

  • somebody would have hit someone already.

  • - I know.

  • - You'd have a girl lighting a cigarette on the open flame

  • someone drying weed in the oven,

  • someone just doing some stretches with headphones in

  • in the back.