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  • Let me ask you this when you were an intern,

    我問你,當你還是個實習生的時候。

  • and you, I know that you were very young

    而你,我知道你當時還很年輕

  • when you intern for us,

    當你為我們實習時。

  • you were like 19 years old.

    你就像19歲。

  • I think I was 19.

    我想我當時19歲。

  • I was Yeah.

    我是啊。

  • You at the time,

    當時的你。

  • must have been interested in comedy.

    一定是對喜劇感興趣。

  • Sometimes, it's hard for interns because there's they're

    有時候,這對實習生來說是很難的,因為他們有...

  • told you got to be professional,

    告訴你,你得是專業的。

  • you can't approach right famous people were you given

    你不能接近正確的名人,你被賦予了

  • that whole spiel.

    這整個spiel。

  • They gave me the

    他們給我的

  • whole speech at the beginning.

    在開始時,整個演講。

  • Don't talk to famous people don't talk

    不要和名人說話不要和名人說話。

  • to the guests.

    給客人。

  • But then Jonathan Katz came on the show one time

    但後來有一次Jonathan Katz上了節目。

  • and he was from, from Dr. Katz, professional therapists,

    和他從,從卡茨博士,專業治療師。

  • Hilarious, hilarious comedian,

    搞笑,搞笑的喜劇演員。

  • one of them one of the great TV series

    其中之一

  • of comedy nerds like me,

    像我這樣的喜劇書呆子。

  • and he lived in worked in Boston,

    而他在波士頓生活工作。

  • and my brother Joe,

    和我的弟弟喬。

  • who had interned on your show as well,

    他也曾在你的節目中實習過。

  • was living in Boston was an

    當時住在波士頓的是一個

  • aspiring comedy writer.

    有抱負的喜劇作家。

  • And so I was,

    於是我就。

  • I was like,

    我很喜歡。

  • I'm going to introduce Jonathan Kartz

    我將介紹喬納森-卡茨

  • to my brother Joe.

    給我弟弟喬。

  • So I, I completely cross the line.

    所以我,我完全越界了。

  • And I just follow, I got out of the control room,

    而我只是跟著,我走出了控制室。

  • I spot him after he walks offstage,

    他走下臺後,我發現了他。

  • and I follow Jonathan Katz.

    我關注喬納森・卡茨。

  • And I'm like,

    而我就像。

  • I'm gonna talk to Jonathan Katz.

    我去找喬納森・卡茨談談。

  • He makes a right turn into the bathroom,

    他右轉進入衛生間。

  • and I had that fork in the road moment

    我有那個岔路口的時刻。

  • where you go,

    你去哪裡。

  • should I follow a celebrity comedian

    我是否應該跟隨一個明星喜劇演員

  • into a public restroom?

    進入公共廁所?

  • And the answer,

    而答案是:

  • Conan is yes,

    柯南是的。

  • I went.

    我去了

  • I waited until he was washing his hands.

    我等到他洗手的時候。

  • And then I said, Jonathan,

    然後我說,喬納森。

  • I'm Mike Birbiglia.

    我是Mike Birbiglia.

  • I work on the show.

    我在節目中工作。

  • I didn't say I was an intern.

    我可沒說我是實習生。

  • But I was wearing a nice shirt.

    但我穿著一件漂亮的襯衫。

  • And I and I looked 50 when I was 20.

    而我和我20歲的時候,看起來有50歲。

  • So I had a high, high hairline.

    所以我的髮際線很高很高。

  • my hairline was this since I was 13, basically.

    我的髮際線是這樣的 因為我是13,基本上。

  • And you could have been a producer for all he knew

    而你可能是他所知道的製作人。

  • I couldn't produce right.

    我不能產生正確的。

  • I go, my brother Joe is aspiring copywriter in Boston.

    我去,我的弟弟喬是波士頓有志於文案的人。

  • Can I put him in touch with you?

    我可以讓他和你聯繫嗎?

  • He goes, Oh, yeah,

    他說,哦,是的。

  • he's soft spoken guy.

    他是一個溫柔的傢伙。

  • He goes, Oh, yeah, absolutely.

    他說,哦,是的,絕對的。

  • He goes, let me just write my number down.

    他去,讓我把我的號碼寫下來。

  • Do you have anything that I could write it in?

    你有什麼東西可以讓我寫進去嗎?

  • And I was just like, Oh, well,

    我只是想,哦,好吧。

  • these paper towels.

    這些紙巾。

  • I think I could,

    我想我可以。

  • we could write it down.

    我們可以把它寫下來。

  • And so then I,

    所以後來我。

  • we I took out a paper towel.

    我們我拿出一張紙巾。

  • He wrote down his number,

    他寫下了自己的號碼。

  • put him in touch with Joe

    讓他和喬聯繫

  • and Joe worked for him for several days.

    和喬為他工作了幾天。

  • And yeah, so I overstepped and actually,

    是的,所以我越俎代庖,其實。

  • if I, don't know if this is inappropriate.

    如果我,不知道這是否不合適。

  • I know this is your talk show.

    我知道這是你的脫口秀

  • I don't know if this is the time

    我不知道現在是否是時機

  • or the place.

    或地方。

  • But I was.

    但我是。

  • My brother Joe is trying

    我弟弟阿祖正在努力

  • to figure out his life right now.

    來了解他現在的生活。

  • He was an intern for you.

    他是你的實習生。

  • 20 years ago,

    20年前

  • and I was wondering if you would take a meeting with him.

    我想知道你是否願意和他見面。

  • If I could give him your number.

    如果我能給他你的號碼

  • Oh, it's on the line to ask me

    哦,它的線上問我

  • on the air.

    在廣播中。

  • It's

    這是...

  • No, wait.

    不,等等。

  • Joe's here now.

    喬現在在這裡。

  • No,

    不知道

  • That's my brother. Joe.

    那是我弟弟喬

  • This is inappropriate.

    這是不合適的。

  • It's one thing for you and I to talk

    你我之間的談話是一回事。

  • off the air.

    停播。

  • And for me to give you my number

    讓我給你我的電話號碼

  • to have Joe appear on the show

    讓Joe出現在節目中

  • is way over the line.

    是過線的方式。

  • Joe, it's over the line.

    喬,這太過分了

  • This is wrong.

    這是不對的。

  • I'll show myself out.

    我自己出去看看。

  • No, no, Joe, please stay.

    不,不,喬,請留下。

  • How are you? Joe?

    你好嗎?喬?

  • Where are you?

    你在哪裡?

  • Am well, I'm in Rhode Island.

    好吧,我在羅德島。

  • so my home.

    所以我的家。

  • You both are in Rhode Island.

    你們都在羅德島

  • Yes.

    是的,我知道

  • Okay.

    好吧,我知道了

  • We're and this is near Providence?

    我們和這是在普羅維登斯附近?

  • Yes.

    是的,我知道

  • Right outside of Providence.

    就在普羅維登斯的外面。

  • Okay.

    好吧,我知道了

  • big snowstorm coming down.

    大暴風雪來了。

  • It's coming down right now.

    現在就下來了。

  • Okay.

    好吧,我知道了

  • Let me tell you my Rhode Island story.

    讓我來告訴你我在羅德島的故事。

  • Okay, now that you're here, and yes,

    好吧,既然你來了,是的。

  • I'll do anything I can for you.

    我會為你做任何事情。

  • But I'll say to you,

    但我要對你說。

  • that is this though, Joe.

    就是這樣,雖然,喬。

  • I will help you

    我幫你

  • in any way I can.

    盡我所能

  • Your brother has four cameras.

    你弟弟有四個攝像頭

  • I have one.

    我有一個。

  • I think you're talking

    我想你說的是

  • to the wrong guy.

    給錯誤的人。

  • You ready for my Rhode Island story,

    你準備好聽我的羅德島故事了嗎?

  • Please.

    求你了

  • My grandfather had a little cottage down

    我的祖父有一個小平房下來。

  • in Rhode Island.

    在羅德島州。

  • We didn't have a summer place when I

    我們沒有一個夏天的地方,當我。

  • was growing up.

    在成長過程中。

  • So we would go and we visit my grandfather

    所以我們會去看望我的祖父

  • in the town.

    在該鎮。

  • There's a fancy

    有一個花哨的

  • town nearby called Watch Hill,

    附近的鎮子叫看山。

  • there was this big mansion

    大宅門

  • on a hill.

    在山上。

  • So many, many years later,

    這麼多年,很多年後。

  • I'm walking through that town.

    我正走過那個小鎮。

  • And I buy there's a nice painting of

    我買了一幅很好的畫作

  • that mansion on a hill

    山莊

  • that looks out at the sea

    眺望大海

  • and Rhode Island.

    和羅得島。

  • I buy it. And I'm like, this is cool.

    我買了它。我想,這是酷。

  • This reminds me of my youth.

    這讓我想起了我的青春。

  • My grandfather hanging out with my brothers

    我爺爺和我的兄弟們一起玩

  • and sisters going to the State Beach.

    和姐妹們去州灘。

  • This is really cool.

    這真的很酷。

  • And I put it up

    我把它掛起來

  • on my wall.

    在我的牆上。

  • Lo and behold about five years after I do that,

    看吧,大約在我做了五年之後。

  • Taylor Swift buys that mansion,

    泰勒-斯威夫特買下了那棟豪宅。

  • completely re does it

    完全重來

  • and it becomes Taylor Swift's like Graceland.

    併成為泰勒斯威夫特的像Graceland。

  • Literally, there's like musical notes

    從字面上看,有像音符

  • on the gate.

    門上。

  • it's this big thing.

    這是一個大事情。

  • People hang around out front to try

    人們在前面徘徊,以嘗試

  • and see Taylor Swift.

    並看到泰勒-斯威夫特。

  • I have that painting.

    我有那幅畫。

  • And I put it

    我把它

  • in our guest room here at my house

    在我家的客房裡

  • in Los Angeles.

    在洛杉磯。

  • So these people come to stay with me

    所以這些人都來和我一起住

  • and I'm showing in the guest room

    我在客房裡展示

  • and they say what's that a painting of

    他們說,那是什麼畫的

  • and I went,

    我就去了。

  • that's my painting

    那是我的畫

  • of Taylor Swift's

    泰勒-斯威夫特的

  • and everyone's like,

    和每個人的喜歡。

  • You're a fucking freak.

    你是一個他媽的怪胎。

  • You're a creep.

    你是個變態。

  • You're a creep.

    你是個變態。

  • And I didn't explain that.

    我也沒有解釋。

  • I had it long.

    我有它長。

  • It's like,

    這就像。

  • I had a painting made

    我有一幅畫

  • of her home.

    她家的。

  • And I'm gonna marry her someday

    我總有一天會娶她的

  • because I love taking

    因為我喜歡拿

  • swift and now the Mr. Swift.

    Swift和現在的Swift先生。

  • That's my story.

    這就是我的故事。

  • I just want you

    我只是想讓你

  • to appreciate my Rhode Island roots.

    欣賞我在羅德島的根。

  • Joe had one story that I thought was really funny

    喬有一個故事,我覺得非常有趣。

  • about being an intern.

    關於做實習生。

  • I go, Do you have a memory of being

    我走了,你有一個記憶,被

  • on the show?

    在節目中?

  • Yeah, Joe You were an intern for us?

    是的,喬,你是我們的實習生?

  • What do you remember?

    你記得什麼?

  • I was and one of the the honors

    我是和榮譽之一

  • of being the intern was that he would

    作為實習生的是,他將

  • once a week it will be your job to order

    每週一次,你的工作是訂購。

  • and dinner for Conan ,Andy Richter

    和柯南,安迪-裡希特的晚餐。

  • and the writers throw their, write their initials.

    和作家們扔他們的,寫他們的首字母。

  • Joe you know this is Conan.

    喬,你知道這是柯南

  • Right?

    對吧?

  • I know that.

    我知道這一點。

  • It's been a long time since Joe,

    很久沒有喬。

  • A, work for me

    A,為我工作

  • or B, watch the show.

    或B,看戲。

  • So he right now thinks he thinks he's talking

    所以他現在認為他認為他在說話

  • to a very pleasant middle aged Irish woman.

    對一個非常愉快的愛爾蘭中年婦女。

  • So the question was when I was

    所以問題是當我

  • ordering the dinner, because I'm,

    點餐,因為我。

  • I'm 20 years old at the time,

    當時我20歲。

  • and you're stressful working television

    和你的壓力工作的電視

  • for the first time like that.

    第一次這樣。

  • And it's, the question was,

    而它的,問題是。

  • can I put Conan CEO initials

    我可以把柯南CEO的首字母寫在上面嗎?

  • on his dinner?

    在他的晚餐上?

  • Or would someone trying to kill him?

    還是會有人想殺他?

  • Perhaps?

    也許吧?

  • Guess what, guess what?

    猜猜看,猜猜看?

  • There were people out

    有人在外面

  • to kill me then.

    要殺我的話。

  • And actually, they weren't on the same network as me.

    而實際上,他們和我不在同一個網絡上。

  • So

    所以

  • one of them was one of them was Jay Leno.

    其中一個是其中一個是傑-雷諾。

  • I know which;

    我知道是哪個

  • one it is with that?

    一個它是與該?

  • What's funny, Conan eating?

    有什麼好笑的,柯南吃東西?

  • Wait, can I just borrow it for a second?

    等等,我可以借一下嗎?

  • There you go.

    這就對了

  • Take care of that little now

    照顧好現在這個小

Let me ask you this when you were an intern,

我問你,當你還是個實習生的時候。

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