of them are really superficial and don't really get you to where you need to go. What has

worked for me when increasing self-esteem is therapy and it's been a specific type of

therapy called internal family systems that looks at the self and then looks at all of

the parts of self, the parts meaning the ways that we act and react to certain situations

that really push our buttons. And it creates a distinction between self energy and anger

or jealousy or frustration or upset. And it allows us to view the people who are triggering

those emotions in us in a very objective way. It brings the focus back to ourselves and

says: OK, this person is reflecting something in me, how could I heal it. It takes all the

responsibility off other people and it puts it back to self. For me, raising my self-esteem

is all about creating that distinction between what is self-energy and what are all of my

crazy parts that are acting out on a daily basis when I go into survival mode. There

is nothing wrong with grieving, there is nothing wrong with being depressed, there is nothing

wrong with being jealous or angry or happy or sad. Those are a range of emotions that

we all experience on a daily basis. When you have a high self-esteem you don't give yourself

permission to indulge in those negative emotional states because they leave you really stuck.

When you have a higher self-esteem you are able to say: You know what, yes, there is

something really bad that happened, yes I do feel really sad about this. But you don't

put your self-worth into the relationship or into the circumstances. Your self-worth

stays with you and you use everything that is going on in your life as an opportunity

to move forward.