Hi.

嗨，我的天

Thank you so much.

非常感謝你。

No, it was interesting.

不，這很有趣。

I I love hearing about the moms in the rap audience, right?

我我喜歡聽說唱觀眾中的媽媽們的故事，對嗎？

Quietly.

悄悄地。

Something we could relate.

一些我們能感受到的東西。

Thio.

Thio.

I feel like a mom And at any rap show.

我覺得自己像個媽媽，在任何說唱節目中，

Yeah, right.

是的，沒錯。

I always feel like a mom nowadays.

現在的我總覺得自己像個媽媽。

I have my my mom.

我有我的媽媽。

Are we started?

我們開始了嗎？

Are we interviewing?

我們要面試嗎？

Yeah, just like my next guest, you know, are from opponents.

是啊，就像我的下一個客人，你知道，都是對手的。

You've got some great sets on there.

你已經得到了一些偉大的設置在那裡。

Also from solar opposite.

也是從太陽對面。

On who?

在誰身上？

Lou.

盧。

Mary Mack.

Mary Mack.

Thank you for being here.

謝謝你來這裡。

I'm always this.

我總是這樣。

Thanks for having me.

謝謝你邀請我。

It's nice to be here.

能來這裡真好

I'm in.

我加入了

Uh, Minneapolis This summer I was mostly staying in a camper up in the northern Wisconsin and the rial woods, and I did not.

呃，明尼阿波利斯 今年夏天，我主要是住在一個露營者在威斯康星州北部和rial樹林，我沒有。

I showered in a lake, and that was that was every day I write running water in my gratitude journal.

我在湖裡洗澡，就是這樣每天我都在感恩日記裡寫流水。

That's great, because yeah, it's not so much scouring in the lake as just soaking in filthier water.

那太好了，因為是啊，在湖裡不是搜刮，而是泡在更髒的水裡。

What way?

什麼方式？

Lived in a camper for the 1st 10 years of my life, we were in a Yeah.

住在露營車的第一個10年我的生活，我們是在一個是的。

Wow.

哇哦

We could probably swap tips way could swap tips.

我們也許可以交換技巧的方式可以交換技巧。

Where do you empty the septic tank?

你在哪裡清空化糞池？

Are you going with the blue one?

你要用藍色的那個嗎？

Do you want a compostable system?

你想要一個可堆肥系統嗎？

Because those things never work.

因為那些東西從來就沒有用過。

I know.

我知道，我知道

I've gone through all that.

我已經經歷了這一切。

You know what I dio I keep I had I had to google the instructions.

你知道我dio我保持我有我不得不穀歌的說明。

I don't know if I should look at the camera at you, but I had to Google.

我不知道我是否應該看著你的相機，但我不得不穀歌。

You want to look at the corner of your room?

你想看看你房間的角落嗎？

If you look at the back corner of your room, you're my life.

如果你看著你房間的后角，你就是我的生命。

Could be Yeah.

可能是的

If you could completely turn yourself.

如果你能完全把自己。

It's just more engaging my audience google the instructions on this European sandy party that came with my camper.

這只是更吸引我的觀眾谷歌說明我的露營車附帶的這個歐洲沙地黨。

That was very complicated.

那是非常複雜的。

And I can't Ah, lot of people talk about the walk of shame.

而我不能啊，很多人都在談論恥辱之行。

Um, my walk of shame is when I, like, walk into ah wayside rest to empty my camper My portable camper toilet Because everyone knows what that iss They make him blue.

我的恥辱之行是當我走進路邊的休息區去清空我的露營車 我的便攜式露營車馬桶，因為大家都知道那是什麼 他們讓他變藍。

So everyone's like, Oh, there's all your feces That's your box of feces on There's no beige years Those blue your You're sandy Potty was blue.

每個人都會說，哦，這是你的糞便，這是你的糞便箱，沒有米色的歲月，這些藍色的你的沙子，你的廁所是藍色的。

I saw a guy get in a fight with someone of the camp grabbed while he was holding his septic tank.

我看到一個人在抱著他的化糞池的時候，和營裡的人搶著打架。

He just emptied it.

他只是清空了它。

And it's like, Well, you you lose whatever you're saying.

它就像，好吧，你... ...你失去了你所說的一切。

Oh, yeah?

哦，是嗎？

How about you put some respect on my name?

你能不能尊重一下我的名字？

I mean, it's like, you're you have a box?

我的意思是，這就像，你... ...你有一個盒子？

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah, You're you just you could It's a lot.

是啊，你，你只是你可以 這是一個很大的。

It's a really exclamation point on.

這真是一個感嘆號上。

Whatever you're saying is when you release your own human excrement out off receptacle.

不管你說的是什麼，就是當你把自己的人類排洩物從容器中釋放出來。

Okay, In case you didn't want to talk about, I brought a list of possible topics.

好吧，萬一你不想談，我帶來了一份可能的話題清單。

Self learning.

自我學習。

Moses.

摩西

I'm not for it.

我不贊成。

I'm the kind of person is like, just put your head down and shut up and do your work.

我是那種喜歡，只要把頭低下，閉嘴，做你的工作。

But you know what the pandemic has done for people?

但你知道這場大疫對人們的影響嗎？

Too much self realization.

太多的自我實現。

E.

E.

I learned about myself that the greatest sense of accomplishment I can ever feel is when I'm almost done with a bar of soap.

我瞭解了自己，我最大的成就感就是當我快做完一塊肥皂的時候。

Wow.

哇哦

Yeah.

是啊。

You can see what you have accomplished your like Oh, all that showering is paying off.

你可以看到你的成就你的喜歡哦，所有的淋浴是回報。

And and it's like, Why do I get so excited?

而且它就像，為什麼我這麼興奮？

It's not like you can cross it off the list.

這不是你能把它從清單上劃掉的。

Moses, you can't be like, done showering.

摩西，你不能這樣，洗完澡了。

Um, but I get so excited because I never I've been on the road for 18 years like I never get to finish a bar assault.

嗯，但我得到這麼興奮，因為我從來沒有我已經在路上18年像我從來沒有完成酒吧攻擊。

But thanks to Donald Trump and this great pandemic of ours, I look at how good I'm doing.

但多虧了唐納德-特朗普和我們的這場大瘟疫，我看我做得多好。

Look how thin these are.

你看這些多薄。

Are you brought it?

你帶來了嗎？

Brought it.

帶來了。

Never see him that.

從未見他這樣。

Then, in 18 years, I've never finished a bar of soap in because I'm always gone.

然後，在18年裡，我從來沒有完成過一塊肥皂，因為我總是離開。

And look at how good I'm doing.

看看我做得多好。

Like, look at how e and no hair on him.

就像，看他身上如何e和沒有頭髮。

Look at this.

看看這個

No hair, thank e.

沒有頭髮，謝謝e。

Think you need to rebrand?

你覺得你需要重塑品牌嗎？

And you did sell thin soap for people that need accomplishments in their life.

而你確實是為那些需要在生活中取得成就的人賣薄皁。

Yeah, like the training wheel of soap.

是啊，就像肥皂的訓練輪。

Absolutely.

絕對的

You get that thing, you get that accomplishment.

你得到了那個東西，你就得到了那個成就。

You're welcome, America.

不客氣，美國。

If we're lucky, we'll have at least six more months of pandemic so I can finish these soaps.

如果我們幸運的話，我們至少還有半年的時間來完成這些肥皂。

Yeah.

是啊。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Moses, Do you have a superpower?

摩西，你有超能力嗎？

No, I have no superpower.

不，我沒有超能力。

Well, I do.

好吧，我做的。

What is it?

什麼事？

Is your boss, Conan O'Brien.

是你的老闆，柯南・奧布萊恩。

Since you're working for team Coco.

既然你是為可可團隊工作的。

Yeah.

是啊。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

So guess what.

所以你猜怎麼著？

When I wake up in the morning, I don't even have to do anything in my hair.

當我早上醒來時，我甚至不用做任何事情在我的頭髮。

I took.

我把。

I got it on my phone.

我在手機上買的。

My hair is as good as Conan O'Brien's.

我的頭髮和柯南-奧布萊恩的一樣好。

As soon as I get up, you see that?

我一起床，你就看到了？

That's my hair.

這是我的頭髮。

In the morning, it looks, Look at that height, That perfect swoop.

早上，看起來，看那高度，那完美的俯衝。

What's the secret for waking up with good hair?

有什麼祕訣可以讓你一覺醒來就擁有一頭好頭髮？

Sleep hard, sleep hard, have stress dreams, sleep hard, nightmares.

睡不好，睡不好，有壓力的夢，睡不好，做噩夢。

The sweat and anxiety Will x fully follicle?

汗水和焦慮x會完全卵泡化嗎？

Oh, sure, sweat, anxiety, dog hair.

哦，當然，汗水，焦慮，狗毛。

You want it all in there, and then it helps.

你想把所有的東西都放進去，然後就會有幫助。

It gives it a little extra lift before we move on.

在我們繼續前進之前，它給了它一點額外的提升。

The last business idea.

最後的商業理念。

You didn't ask for this, but the superpower for the hair.

你沒有問這個，但對頭髮的超能力。

You have a salon that's just nothing but twin beds.

你有一個沙龍，除了雙人床，什麼都沒有。

People lay in the salon and then they wake up with great hair.

人們躺在美容院裡，然後他們醒來的時候就有了好頭髮。

That is a good idea.

這是個好主意。

You know what?

你知道嗎？

What if you did a little helper and you were like, I'll do their hair while they're sleeping?

如果你做了一個小幫手，你就像，我會做他們的頭髮，而他們睡覺？

Well, isn't that a time saver and a multi billion dollar idea?

那不是省時省力，又有幾十億的想法嗎？

I think only you could get away with that business.

我想只有你能擺脫這種生意。

I think that the smaller you are and the quieter you are at night since you're sleeping, Um, the better the more success you'll have.

我認為，你的體型越小，晚上睡覺的時候越安靜，嗯，越好，你就越能成功。

And if you know a little bit about hair or if you have a battery operated curling iron, not very big.

而如果你對頭髮有一點了解，或者你有一個電池驅動的捲髮棒，不是很大。

Big help.

大的幫助。

You don't know where their outlets are.

你不知道他們的網點在哪裡。

Moses.

摩西

You don't know if they got an outlet behind the bed.

你不知道他們在床後是否有插座。

What if they only have a USB charger?

如果他們只有一個USB充電器呢？

And you weren't prepared for that with your curling iron to do list for Conan?

而你沒有準備好你的捲髮棒來做柯南的清單？

If you go, let him know.

如果你去，讓他知道。

And if you could let Ruthie and JP who also work there No.

如果你能讓同樣在那裡工作的Ruthie和JP... ...不要。

The last time I was on Cornyn, they blew up my CD album.

上次我上科寧的時候，他們把我的CD專輯給炸了。

My last video.

我最後一個視頻。

I have a different city album out out, but this one, they blew it up.

我有一個不同的城市專輯出來，但這個，他們炸了。

And then what happened was Conan and and he signed it very nice to them.

然後發生的事情是柯南和和他簽了很好的他們。

But then I started and some plastic in a in a closet in Los Angeles when I was out there, and this is the kind of air quality in L.

但後來我開始在洛杉磯的一個衣櫃裡放一些塑膠，當我在那裡的時候，這就是洛杉磯的空氣質量。

A.

A.

You guys I just ate.

你們我剛剛吃。

It's just the acid up of either the plastic or the air.

這只是塑膠或空氣的酸漲。

Just shoot it away like this is not supposed to be there, and they did a nice job, took a lot of time to sign it.

就這樣拍走了，就像這是不應該有的，他們做的很好，花了很多時間去籤。

And now it's just looks like hell and I I really would like it if if they could find it in their busy schedules, if I could send them this and that could recreate it.

現在它只是看起來像地獄和我我真的很喜歡它，如果如果他們能找到它在他們繁忙的日程安排，如果我可以送他們這個和那個可以重新創建它。

Maybe what?

也許什麼？

Try to be as authentic as they were the first time?

儘量做到像他們第一次那樣真實？

Because I would like to put on my wall.

因為我想把它貼在我的牆上。

But you want the same message on there?

但你想在那裡得到同樣的資訊？

The same heartfelt message, but a radio.

同樣的心聲，卻是一臺收音機。

I will pay the postage.

我將支付郵費。

Hey, I apologize if my conversation is a little too mundane.

嘿，我很抱歉，如果我的談話有點太平凡。

I'm enjoying this.

我很喜歡這個。

It's the small things in life that you gotta think about Moses, like in this time of impending doom and, um, wretchedness and it just putrid ity.

這是生活中的小事，你得想想摩西， 就像在這個即將到來的末日和，嗯，悲慘的時候，它只是putrid它。

You have to just focus on what you can control the small things, right?

你只需要專注於你能控制的小事，對嗎？

Like like who the fuck is using metal spatulas on my Teflon pants?

就像誰他媽的在我的特氟龍褲子上用金屬鏟子？

Whoa, who's Who's doing it?

哇，誰是誰做的？

Is it drags.

是它拖。

My husband's the only one that lives here.

我丈夫是唯一一個住在這裡的人。

Get that, miss Take.

拿到了，Take小姐

This was a huge mistake.

這是一個巨大的錯誤。

You better You better not be using that on a nonstick pan.

你最好不要在不粘鍋上用這個。

I cook everything on a paper plate over the stove.

我把所有的東西都放在爐子上的紙盤上煮。

I have a very bad life and I have a can of beans like Dennis the Menace.

我的生活很糟糕，我有一罐豆子，就像威脅的丹尼斯。

But this is the worst purchase I made in quarantine.

但這是我在檢疫中最糟糕的一次購買。

Hands down.

手下來。

This is ruined my life.

這毀了我的生活。

I got cut on this to this idea should not exist.

我被切上了這個到這個想法不應該存在。

I think this we need to rail against these.

我覺得這個我們需要對這些進行抨擊。

Well, these are good for is picking up that last little bit of soap.

嗯，這些都是很好的是拿起那最後一點肥皂。

Yeah, right.

是的，沒錯。

Well, you know what else?

那麼，你知道還有什麼？

That's good for drywall.

這對幹牆有好處。

You could mud with that.

你可以用它來做泥巴。

You can live with that.

你可以忍受的。

So yes, a drywall myself, a new pan.

所以，是的，我自己的一個幹舷，一個新盤。

Is there a quarantine purchase you made that you regret or are absolutely love?

你是否有一次檢疫購買的東西讓你後悔或者是絕愛？

I don't know.

我不知道。

I can't remember all the purchases.

我不記得所有的購買。

I've been doing a lot of Facebook marketplace, mostly for companionship, like I don't need Oh, you just want to get to know someone via like I don't even want an oscillating fan.

我一直在做很多的Facebook市場，主要是為了結伴而來，就像我不需要哦，你只是想通過像我連搖扇都不想認識的人。

I did buy an oscillating fan.

我確實買了一個振盪風扇。

I even bought a ceiling fan.

我甚至買了一個吊扇。

I didn't need it.

我不需要它。

I just was like, I need to meet somebody.

我只是想，我需要見一個人。

I need to see a person.

我需要見一個人。

So, like the driveway exchange is the most.

所以，像車道交換是最。

Um, it's the most human connection I've had is is like, Okay, I like I'm like, Okay, I'll Venmo you, Or I could bring cash, but you don't have to stand within 60 to me, But could you please just bring it outside and say hello and e I met so many nice people.

這是我見過的最有人情味的事了 就像，好吧，我喜歡我喜歡，好吧，我給你Venmo，或者我可以帶現金，但你不必站在60米之內給我，但你能不能把它帶到外面去，說你好，我遇到了這麼多好人。

I 100% know what you mean.

我100%知道你的意思。

It's very embarrassing.

這是非常尷尬的。

And I did not expect to admit this, but I just My desk broke, so I had to get one off of Craigslist.

我沒想到會承認這一點，但我只是... ...我的辦公桌壞了，所以我不得不從Craigslist上買一個。

This like a new desk Quick for this and Ah, yeah, is this woman She came outside and gave me this desk and we were talking for a little bit.

這就像一個新的辦公桌，快速的這個和啊，是這個女人，她來到外面，給我這個辦公桌，我們聊了一會兒。

And I had, like, like, nerves like it was like a first date, right?

我有一樣，喜歡，喜歡，神經 就像它像一個第一次約會，對不對？

It's scary.

太可怕了

Thio.

Thio.

See, real people in Facebook is so much different than Craigslist, where it's like, No, I don't want any contact.

你看，真正的人在Facebook是如此多的不同 比Craigslist，在那裡，它像，不，我不希望任何接觸。

Here's cash and I wanna look atyou.

這是現金，我想看看你。

Facebook marketplace.

Facebook市場。

You have the whole profile of someone and they're queuing on theories.

你有一個人的全部資料，他們在理論上排隊。

You really can hit it off quick.

你真的能很快打成一片。

Sure you can.

當然，你可以。

You can really hit it off.

你們真的可以一拍即合。

Quick or not, I bought these and I learned a lot about Q.

不管快不快，我買了這些東西，我學到了很多關於Q的知識。

Great.

厲害

Well, um I got a problem.

嗯，嗯，我有一個問題。

Moses.

摩西

Yeah, I just added to my work load.

是啊，我只是增加了我的工作負擔。

Oh, no.

哦，不

See, one's gotta go.

你看，一個人的總得去。

They can't both be in there.

他們不可能同時在那裡。

I can't shower this much.

我不能洗澡這麼多。

I can't now.

我現在不能。

It's not down now.

現在還沒下來。

It's not too soaps.

這不是太皁。

It's three soaps I gotta use up.

我有三塊肥皂要用完了

I'm not wonder Woman.

我不是神奇的女人。

Your life has has taken a real depth.

你的生活已經有了真正的深度。

He started on a high.

他開始高歌猛進。

We're very proud of this.

我們對此非常自豪。

And then this broke.

然後這個就壞了。

Yeah, I'm just getting word that Okay, Yeah, that Conan is no longer sending the new album cover.

是啊，我剛剛得到消息，好吧，是啊，柯南不再寄新專輯封面了。

He's very upset about the this so Oh, yeah, yeah, he does want to invest in the sleep pair of business, though.

他對這個很不爽，所以哦，是的，是的，他確實想投資睡眠對的生意，不過。

Oh, yeah, Sleep here.

哦，對了，睡在這裡。

That would be a great brand ambassador.

這將是一個很好的品牌大使。

Sleep here.

在這裡睡覺。

That's where it's that that's the only reason I'm here pitching.

這就是我在這裡投球的唯一原因。

We don't need a shark tank.