>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, BACK BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

>> 嘿，大家好，回到 "晚間秀"。

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

讓我們向JON BATISTE先生問好。JON BATISTE。

HELLO, JON.

你好，喬恩。

>> Jon: HELLO.

>> 喬恩。HELLO.

>> Stephen: YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.

>> 史蒂芬：你把話從我嘴裡說出來了。

I GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU.

我有個問題要問你。

I HAVE LOST TRACK BECAUSE EASTER BEING A MOVABLE FEAST, WHEN IS

我已經失去了軌道，因為復活節是一個移動的節日，什麼時候？

MARDI GRAS?

MARDI GRAS?

ARE WE CLOSE TO MARDI GRAS?

我們離狂歡節還遠嗎？

WHEN IS IT ROLLING AROUND?

何時滾滾而來？

>> Jon: YEAH, WE'RE TWO WEEKS AWAY, TWO WEEKS AWAY, GIVE OR

>> 喬恩：是的，我們是兩個星期的時間，兩個星期的時間，給或。

TAKE A FEW DAYS.

需要幾天時間。

AND, YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO CELEBRATE THIS

而且，你知道，我們不會是能夠慶祝這個。

YEAR.

年。

>> Stephen: IS THERE GOING TO BE ANYTHING.

>> 史蒂芬：會有什麼事嗎。

IS THERE GOING TO BE LIKE-- ANYTHING?

會不會有什麼... ... 什麼事？

>> Jon: THERE'S NOTHING.

>> 喬恩。什麼都沒有。

EVERYTHING IS ONLINE.

所有的東西都在網上。

MARDI GRAS ONLINE ( LAUGHS ).

MARDI GRAS ONLINE（笑）：

>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT A LITTLE MARDI GRAS MUSIC TO BRING US

>> 史蒂芬: 來點狂歡節的音樂怎麼樣？

INTO THE NEXT ACT.

進入下一幕。

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE,

JON BATISTE,

EVERYBODY.

每個人。

THANK YOU, JON.

謝謝你，喬恩。

>> Stephen: HE IS AN EMMY AWARD-WINNING ACTOR, COMEDIAN,

>> 史蒂芬：他是一個獲得艾美獎的演員，喜劇演員。

AND NINE-TIME HOST OF THE ACADEMY AWARDS.

和九次主持學院獎。

HE NOW STARS IN THE FILM "STANDING UP, FALLING DOWN."

他現在出演電影 "站起來，倒下去"。

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO A LATE SHOW, BILLY CRYSTAL!

歡迎回到晚間節目，BILLY CRYSTAL!

HELLO, BILLY!

你好，比利！

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

很高興見到你。

>> GOOD TO SEE YOU, STEPHEN.

>> 很高興見到你，史蒂芬。

IT'S BEEN SO LONG.

好久不見了

>> Stephen: IT REALLY HAS, THE LAST TIME WE TALKED, I THINK

>> 史蒂芬：確實如此，上次我們談話的時候，我想。

THERE WAS AN AUDIENCE.

有一個聽眾。

>> OH, MAN, I MISS THAT SO MUCH.

>> 哦，夥計，我太想念了。

YOU HAVE THE GREATEST AUDIENCES IN MY FAVORITE THEATER.

你們在我最喜歡的劇院裡有最棒的聽眾。

THERE TWO GREAT STUDIOS, YOU, OF COURSE, AND 8-"H."

有兩個偉大的工作室，你，當然，和8 - "H"。

I HAVE WARM FEELINGS FOR THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER BECAUSE THAT'S

我對艾德-蘇利文劇院很有好感，因為那是... ...

WHERE I MADE MY NETWORK TELEVISION DEBUT ON THE "HOWARD

我在哪裡在 "HOWARD "的網絡電視上首次亮相？

COSELL" VARIETY SHOW.

COSELL "變身秀。

>> Stephen: I REMEMBER THAT, SURE!

>> 史蒂芬：我記住了，當然!

>> I'M SORRY YOU DO.

>> 很抱歉你這樣做。

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> I LOVE YOUR THEATER, BECAUSE HERE'S A PICTURE, STEPHEN, OF

>> 我喜歡你的劇院，因為這是一張照片，斯蒂芬，對

THE MARQUEE FROM 1975.

1975年的《大棚》。

I'M GOING TO HOLD IT UP.

我要舉起它。

>> Stephen: WOW!

>> 史蒂芬：WOW!

HOWARD COSELL.

HOWARD COSELL.

ROY CLARK, CHITA RIVERA, SENATOR KENNEDY, AND BILL CRYSTAL?

ROY CLARK, CHITA RIVERA, SENATOR KENNEDY, 和BILL CRYSTAL?

WHO IS "BILL CRYSTAL"?

誰是 "比爾-克萊斯塔爾"？

>> THEY RAN OUT OF "Y"s, SO I WAS BILL FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

>> 他們沒有 "Y "了，所以我就當了一回 "BILL"。

AND HOWARD COSELL WAS THE HOST.

而HOWARD COSELL是主持人。

>> Stephen: WHAT A LINEUP!

>> 史蒂芬：什麼陣容！？

MY GOD.

我的天啊

>> THERE WAS MORE.

>> 還有更多。

THERE WAS SHAMU THE KILLER WHALE WHO CAME LIVE FROM SAN DIEGO.

有一個沙姆... ...從聖地亞哥來的殺人鯨。

I REMEMBER COMING INTO REHEARSAL, I WAS SO NERVOUS, AND

我記得進入排練， 我是如此緊張，和。

HOWARD WAS SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW TALKING TO ONE OF THE

霍華德坐在前排和其中一個人說話。

PRODUCERS, WHO WAS ALAN KING, ACTUALLY.

PRODUCERS，WHO WAS ALAN KING，ACTUALLY。

>> Stephen: WOW.

>> 史蒂芬：WOW。

>> AND HE'S YELLING AT HIM, "HOW CAN I INTERVIEW A WHALE!

>> 他對他大喊："我怎麼能採訪一隻白鯨！

IT'S TOUGH ENOUGH TO TALK TO SONNY LISTON.

跟SONNY LISTON說話太難了。

I HAVE TO TALK TO A WHALE!

我得跟一隻鯨魚說話！

>> Stephen: HOW ARE YOU HANDLING THE COVID, THE

>> 史蒂芬: 你如何處理科維德的問題？

PANDEMIC?

PANDEMIC?

IT'S A STRANGE TIME.

這是一個奇怪的時代。

ARE YOU OKAY?

你沒事吧？

>> I'M FINE, I'M FINE.

>> 我很好，我很好。

IT'S BEEN A YEAR I HAVE NOT LEFT THIS SEAT, SO, BASICALLY, IT'S

我已經一年沒有離開這個座位了，所以，基本上，它是。

BEEN IN THIS ROOM, STAYING SAFE.

一直在這個房間，保持安全。

THE OTHER DAY, I WAS VERY HAPPY TO GET MY FIRST DOSE OF THE

前幾天，我很高興地得到了我的第一個劑量的 "小白兔"。

MODERNA VACCINE.

MODERNA VACCINE。

>> Stephen: OH, WOW, I'M JEALOUS.

>> 史蒂芬：哦，哇，我很嫉妒。

>> WELL, DON'T BE, I'M OLDER THAN YOU.

>> 好了，別這樣，我比你老。

( LAUGHS ) AND IT WAS AT DODGER STADIUM

（笑），它是在DODGER體育場

WHERE WE GOT IT.

我們在哪裡得到它。

IT WAS DEBRA BIRX BOBBLEHEAD NIGHT.

這是DEBRA BIRX的搖頭夜。

THAT WAS FUN.

這很有趣。

I GOT THE INJECTION AND A SCARF, A FREE SCARF.

我得到了注射劑和圍巾，一個免費的圍巾。

>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.

>> 史蒂芬：這很好。

>> AT LEAST THAT WAS GOOD BECAUSE IT WAS THE FIRST STEP TO

>> 至少這是好的，因為這是我邁向成功的第一步。

HUGGING MY KIDS AND MY GRANDCHILDREN AGAIN.

再次擁抱我的孩子和我的孫子。

AND I DO HAVE A PREEXISTING UNDERLYING CONDITION, WHICH IS

而我確實有一個預先存在的潛在條件，這是...

TERROR.

恐怖。

SO THAT WAS GOOD THAT I GOT THAT.

所以，這是很好的，我得到了。

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU-- HAVE YOU KEPT YOURSELF BUSY?

>> 史蒂芬：你--你有沒有讓自己忙起來？

DO YOU HAVE INDOOR HOBBIES THAT YOU CAN ENGAGE IN?

你有可以從事的室內愛好嗎？

>> OH, YEAH, YEAH, NO, I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF WORK.

>> 哦，是的，是的，不，我已經做了很多工作。

PLUS I THINK I'M THE WORLD RECORD HOLDER FOR SAYING THE

另外，我想我是世界紀錄的保持者，因為說的是...

WORD "UNMUTE."

WORD "UNMUTE."

I'VE BEEN DOING IT CONSTANTLY BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF RELATIVE

我一直都在做，因為我有很多親戚朋友

BHOZ TRY TO ZOOM.

BHOZ嘗試縮放。

SO IT'S BEEN A LOT OF SEEING MY RELATIVES LOOKING AT ME ON A

所以，它是一個很多看到我的親戚看著我在一個。

ZOOM GOING...

ZOOM GOING...

( NO AUDIO ) UNMUTE!

（沒有聲音）UNMUTE！

UNCLE-- UNCLE CHUCK, UNMUTE!

UNCLE -- UNCLE CHUCK，UNMUTE！

SO THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING.

所以這就是我一直在做的事情。

I DO "THE NEW YORK TIMES" CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

我做 "紐約時報 "填字遊戲。

I'M AT A RECORD PACE FOR MYSELF.

我為自己創下了紀錄的速度。

I DO IT IN A WEEK NOW.

我現在一週內就做。

BUT JUST THE DOWN WORDS.

但只是下字。

I JUST DO THE DOWN WORDS.

我只是做了下來的字。

>> Stephen: OH, INTERESTING, INTERESTING.

>> 史蒂芬：哦，有趣，有趣。

I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU ABOUT "THE NEW YORK TIMES" CROSSWORD

我有個問題要問你，關於《紐約時報》的交叉字。

PUZZLE.

PUZZLE：

I HAVE NOT HAD THE STORIED CAREER YOU HAVE, BUT I'VE BEEN

我沒有你那樣的傳奇生涯，但我有過。

DOING THIS FOR A WHILE.

做這個一段時間。

I STILL GET SUCH A THRILL IF SOMEBODY SAYS, "HEY, YOU WERE IN

如果有人說："嘿，你在這裡，我仍然感到非常興奮。

THE CROSSWORD."

十字架"。

>> I WAS IN IT A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.

>> 幾周前我也在裡面。

>> Stephen: IT'S A STRANGE THRILL.

>> 史蒂芬：這是一種奇怪的刺激。

>> IT'S VERY ODD, BECAUSE YOU ALMOST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DEAD.

>> 這很奇怪，因為你幾乎覺得自己已經死了。

( LAUGHING ) SO I FIND THAT I WORK OUT AS

所以我發現，我工作了作為

MUCH AS I CAN PHYSICALLY.

我可以身體力行。

I WAS A GOOD ATHLETE, AND I KEEP AT IT.

我是個好運動員，我一直在努力。

I PLAY A LOT OF BASKETBALL, ONE ON ME, JUST ALONE.

我打了很多籃球，我一個人，就一個人。

BECAUSE HERE'S-- WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS A PRETTY GOOD

因為在我上高中的時候，我是個很好的...

PLAYER.

玩家：

HERE'S A CARD THAT THE N.B.A.

這是一張N. B. A. 的卡片

MADE FOR ME-- THAT'S MY HIGH SCHOOL YEAR BOOK PHOTOGRAPH.

為我而生--這是我高中一年的書本照片。

AND YOU SEE I HAVE A LITTLE SCAB ON MY KNEE?

你看我膝蓋上有個小疤痕？

>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.

>> 史蒂芬：YEAH，YEAH。

>> THAT'S NOT FROM PLAYING.

>> 這不是從玩。

I TRIPPED IN THE LOCKER ROOM.

我闖進了鎖房。

BUT I KEPT IT IT FOR WHEN WE TOOK THE PICTURES SO IT LOOKED

但我把它留著，等我們拍照片的時候用，這樣看起來就好了。

LIKE I PLAYED A LOT.

就像我玩了很多。

>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF THE GAME, OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE A

>> 史蒂芬: 說到遊戲，顯然你是一個......。

CLIPPERS FAN.

CLIPPERS範。

>> YEAH, I'M A CLIPPERS FAN.

>> 是的，我是一個剪貼畫愛好者。

AND THAT'S WHO I AM WHEN I PLAY.

而這就是我玩的時候的樣子。

I PLAY ALL ALONE AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WERE A KID-- BECAUSE I

我一個人玩，你知道，當你還是個孩子的時候... ... 因為我...

KNOW YOU'RE A GYM RAT, TOO.

知道你也是個健身房的老鼠。

>> Stephen: SURE, SURE.

>> Stephen: SURE, SURE.

YOU DON'T GET A BODY LIKE THIS WITHOUT DEDICATION.

如果沒有奉獻精神，你不會得到這樣的身體。

>> WHEN I WAS A KID IT WAS ALWAYS THE LAST 10 SECONDS, YOU

>> 當我還是個孩子的時候，它總是最後10秒，你。

KNOW, BEFORE THE CHAMPIONSHIP.

知道，在冠軍賽之前。

10 SECONDS.

10秒。

BUT NOW, YOU KNOW, HEY, MAN, I'M 72.

但現在，你知道，嘿，夥計，我72歲了。

SO MY 10 SECONDS IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

所以我的10秒有點不同。

CRYSTAL'S GOT THE BALL, 10 SECONDS LEFT, HE GOES LEFT, HE

水晶得到了球，左10秒，他向左走，他。

GOES, RIGHT, HE GOES RIGHT-- WAIT A SECOND.

去，右，他去右 - 等一下。

HE'S WANDERING OFF.

他走神了。

NINE SECONDS HE GOES TO HIS LEFT, HE GOES TO HIS RIGHT.

九秒鐘，他往左走，他往右走。

EIGHT SECONDS!

八秒！

HE STOPS TO PEE!

他停止撒尿！

SEVEN, SIX, TWO PLAYERS HAVE HIM TRAPPED IN THE CORONER.

7，6，2個玩家把他關在了殯儀館裡。

THEE LIKES IT THEY'RE KEEPING HIM WORN.

他們喜歡這樣，他們讓他穿上了。

SIX, FIVE-- HE PEES AGAIN.

六，五 -- 他又尿了。

TALK ABOUT A DOUBLE DRIBBLE.

談談雙倍的DRIBBLE。

HE DROPS THE BALL, HE CAN'T STRAIGHTEN UP.

他丟了球，他不能直起腰來。

THE BUZZER GOES OFF.

嗡嗡聲響起。

THAT'S THE BUZZ TORE REMIND HIM TO TAKE HIS PILLS.

這就是BUZZ TORE提醒他把他的藥丸。

HE SHOOT!

他射擊！

HE SCORES!

他得分了！

THEY PICK HIM UP AND CARRY HIM OFF THE FIELD.

他們把他抬起來，然後把他帶離球場。

HE GRABS HIS NECK AND HE'S YELLING WHIPLASH!

他抓住他的脖子，他大叫著 "嗖 "的一聲！

WHIPLASH.

WHIPLASH：

IN!

在！

THAT'S MY 10 ACADEMIES IS.

這是我的10所學院是。

I'M OUT OF BREATH.

我喘不過氣來了

>> Stephen: THIS IS AN AMAZING PHOTO.

>> 斯蒂芬：這是一個了不起的照片。

THIS IS YOU AT THE STAPLES CENTER WITH AN AMAZING, AMAZING

這是你在斯泰普勒斯中心與一個令人驚歎的，令人驚歎的。

GUEST NEXT TO YOU RIGHT HERE.

你旁邊的客人就在這裡。

>> OH, YEAH.

>> 哦，是的。

THAT WAS-- YEAH.

那是... 是的。

THAT WAS SOCIALIST NIGHT AT THE STAPLES CENTER.

那是社會主義之夜，在斯塔普斯中心。

>> Stephen: SURE, EVERYONE, EVERYONE HAS THE BALL

>> 斯蒂芬：當然，每個人，每個人都有球。

( LAUGHS ) THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MEMES

這是我最喜歡的記憶之一。

BECAUSE IT FITS.

因為它適合。

IT SEEMS PERFECTLY NATURAL.

它似乎是完美的自然。

YOU'RE SITTING THE SAME WAY.

你也是這樣坐著。

>> WE'RE SITTING THE SAME WAY, AND HE'S GOT THE MITTENS AND THE

>> 我們坐在同一條路上，而他得到了米騰斯和。

COAT ON, AND IT WAS 90 DEGREES IN THERE.

塗上，它是90度在那裡。

SO IT WAS PERFECT FOR A GUY HIS AGE, TOO.

所以，它是完美的一個傢伙，他的年齡，太。

>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME

>> 我們必須快速休息一下，但是當我們回來的時候。

BACK, I WILL ASK BILLY ABOUT SOME OF HIS COMEDIC AND ACTING

回頭，我會問BILLY關於他的一些喜劇和表演的問題

HEROES.

HEROES：

SPOILER ALERT-- IT'S KARL REINER.

劇透 -- 是卡爾-萊納。