- Interesting name, are you Finnish?

- 有趣的名字，你是芬蘭人嗎？

- No, sir, I'm just getting started (laughs).

- 不，先生，我才剛剛開始（笑）。

♪ You gotta ♪

你得

♪ You gotta ♪

你得

♪ You gotta ♪ ♪ You gotta be fresh ♪

你得 你得是新鮮的

- Garcon (claps) (whistles), where is this guy?

- 加康（拍手）（吹口哨），這傢伙在哪裡？

- Yes, sir?

- 什麼事，先生？

- Sir, I love this kid.

- 先生，我喜歡這個孩子。

First of all, I'd like to see the chef face to face.

首先，我想當面看看廚師。

These are the best Cajun chicken niblets I've ever had.

這是我吃過的最好吃的雞內臟。

- Yeah. - (whistles) Come on.

- 是啊。 來吧。

Also, we're gonna want to get dessert.

還有，我們會想吃甜點。

I'm wondering which wine pairs best

我想知道哪種酒最配

with the Oreo cheesecake?

搭配奧利奧芝士蛋糕？

- I wouldn't know that.

- 我不知道

- You don't know?

- 你不知道嗎？

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Perhaps you should send over the house sommelier.

也許你該派個侍酒師過來。

- Greg is from Nigeria.

- 格雷格來自尼日利亞。

- No, I don't mean Craig.

- 不，我不是說克雷格。

I don't see how this helps us.

我看不出這對我們有什麼幫助。

I just want cheesecake with a good wine.

我只想吃芝士蛋糕配好酒。

- All right, let's skip dessert.

- 好吧，讓我們跳過甜點。

Just get some more drinks, huh?

再拿點酒來，嗯？

- [Blake] Yeah, we got some celebrating to do.

- 是的，我們要慶祝一下。

- Indeed. - So Ders come on,

- 確實如此- 所以德爾斯來了。

tell us what's it like to be on top of the world?

告訴我們，站在世界之巔是什麼感覺？

- Honestly this is great.

- 老實說，這是偉大的。

I feel terrific.

我感覺非常好。

I look great.

我看起來很好。

Wearing a suit to the office.

穿著西裝去辦公室。

No joke.

不是開玩笑。

It makes you better than everyone else there.

這讓你比那裡的其他人都要好。

- To our best friend who will never betray, ever.

- 敬我們最好的朋友，他永遠不會背叛，永遠。

- Let's talk business guys.

- 讓我們來談談生意的傢伙。

Are you guys familiar with vertical integration?

你們對垂直整合熟悉嗎？

You've gotta look at your bottom line.

你得看看你的底線。

There's net and there's net, net.

有網就有網，有網就有網。

Here's the thing, now that I'm in charge.

事情是這樣的，現在我負責。

Get on my coattails.

跟上我的腳步

You can't be messing around at the office.

你不能在辦公室裡胡鬧。

I look at it this way.

我是這樣看的。

Promotion, car, wife.

升職，車，老婆。

We're gonna change things up around the office.

我們要改變一下辦公室裡的事情。

I'm gonna let Alice know who's in charge now.

我要讓愛麗絲知道現在誰是負責人。

Let's keep things the same.

讓我們保持不變。

Oh my God, what is this?

哦，我的上帝，這是什麼？

That's what we call diversify.

這就是我們所說的多元化。

Do you even know karate?

你會空手道嗎？

Get used to this. (burping)

習慣這個。（打嗝）

(yelling)

（大喊）

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

我去一下洗手間

Can a mother fucker get their check please?

能不能讓一個混蛋拿到他們的支票？

Who are you?

你是誰？

- You asked to see me.

- 你要見我

I made your Cajun chicken niblets.

我做了你做的墨西哥雞內臟。

- No, no, no, you made my year.

- 不，不，不，你讓我的一年。

You have a gift and the super dope hat.

你很有天賦，還有那頂超屌的帽子。

This is cool.

這是很酷的。

All right, boys.

好了，孩子們。

Let's go.

我們走吧

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

必須是新鮮的

- Anders, I got a mission for you, stretch.

- 安德斯，我有個任務給你，伸展一下。

- Ma'am yes ma'am .

- 夫人是的，夫人。

- I'm sending you to the North Rancho

- 我把你送到北蘭喬了

college job fair to recruit some new employees.

大學生招聘會，招聘一些新員工。

- Wow.

- 哇哦

- Grab a couple of people to help you get contact info

- 找幾個人幫你拿聯絡方式吧

on 100 people interested in working here.

對100名有興趣在這裡工作的人。

- You've got it, I will assemble my team right now.

- 知道了，我現在就去召集我的團隊。

- Great.

- 厲害

♪ TelAmeriCorp, TelAmeriCorp, ♪

TelAmeriCorp，TelAmeriCorp，?

♪ Come make phone calls with me. ♪

# Come make phone calls with me. #

- Come on and join the telemerican army.

- 來吧，加入遠程美國軍隊。

Where the front line is the landline.

其中，前線是固定電話。

It's phones.

是手機。

You just make the phone calls all day.

你整天只管打電話。

- Hey army man. - Yeah?

- 嘿，軍隊的人。- 什麼事？

- You take requests?

- 你接受請求？

'Cause I request you take that mic

因為我要求你拿著麥克風

and shove it up your ass. (laughing)

並把它推到你的屁股。（笑）

- Who are you guys, what do you got?

- 你們是誰，有什麼本事？

Oh, U.S Coast Guard.

哦，美國海岸警衛隊

Cool, I get it.

酷，我明白了。

'Cause you guys coast on the backs

"因為你們是在背水一戰

of the people who really guard our country.

的人，真正守護我們的國家。

(laughing)

（笑）

Oh my God, dude.

哦，我的上帝，夥計。

Did one of you guys just fart?

你們有人放屁了嗎？

'Cause it smells like salty dick.

因為它聞起來像鹹雞巴。

(laughing)

（笑）

Woo, I'm downwind.

嗚，我是順風的。

You guys want to see my impression of the Navy?

你們想看看我對海軍的印象嗎？

(beeping)

（嗶嗶聲）

And here's my impression of the U.S. Coast Guard.

這是我對美國海岸警衛隊的印象。

(yelling) - You better watch your mouth.

你最好注意你的嘴。

- Okay, sign up, man.

- 好吧，報名吧，夥計。

Just need your name,

只需要你的名字。

email, phone number and the stool sample.

電子郵件、電話號碼和大便樣本。

Just kidding, I'm not the Coast Guard.

開玩笑，我不是海岸警衛隊。

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

必須是新鮮的

This is Waller,

這是沃勒。

it's almost after dark and he's dressed like that.

天都快黑了，他還穿成那樣。

You're asking for it.

你自找的。

Hey, why don't you losers try an organized sport for once?

嘿，你們這些失敗者為什麼不嘗試一次有組織的運動呢？

Hey, slow down!

嘿，慢點！

This is not the speedway.

這裡不是高速路。

This neighborhood is on lockdown.

這附近的人都被封鎖了。

Honestly.

老實說

Yeah, hello?

是啊，喂？

I want to report a robbery in progress right now.

我現在要報告一起搶劫案。

Who am I?

我是誰？

I'm the God damn neighborhood watch.

我就是那個該死的鄰里守望者

Oh sorry, for legal reasons?

哦，對不起，因為法律原因？

It's Anders Holmvik.

這是安德斯Holmvik。

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

必須是新鮮的

(whistling)

（吹口哨）

- Ladies and gentlemen,

- 女士們，先生們，

please put your hands together for the next

揖讓

president of Rancho Cucamonga.

蘭喬-庫卡蒙加的總裁。

Anders Holmvik!

Anders Holmvik!

(cheering)

（歡呼聲）

- Hello! - One more time.

- 再來一次

- Greetings, my fellow Rancho Cucamongans.

- 問候，我的庫卡蒙加蘭喬同胞。

My name is Anders Torfan Holvik.

我的名字是安德斯-託凡-霍爾維克。

I'm here to announce today

我今天在這裡宣佈

that because I am now 25 years young.

因為我現在25歲了

It's not old, it's young.

不是老，是年輕。

I'm therefore eligible to run for

所以我有資格參選

city councilman dude.

市議員老兄。

And I'm going to do it. (cheering)

而我要做的。（歡呼聲）

- [Adam] So proud, so proud.

- [亞當]很自豪，很自豪。

- Not today, like, you know, maybe down in like 2016

- 不是今天，就像，你知道，也許在像2016年的下降

I've gotta some student loans to pay off.

我還有一些學生貸款要還。

So get that out of the way

那就先把這個說出來吧

and then I'm going to be up in your grills,

然後我會在你的烤架上。

asking for votes.

要求投票。

Okay, so consider this a warning

好吧，所以考慮到這是一個警告

and here's a slogan it's you can always bet on Ders.

這裡有一個口號... ...你可以永遠賭在德爾斯身上。

That's my name.

那是我的名字

- Hit them with it, yeah, male demo.

- 用它打他們，是的，男性演示。

Yeah.

是啊。

- This is not the forum to run for city council.

- 這不是競選市議會的論壇。

- No, I know dude.

- 不，我知道，夥計。

I said I'm gonna run.

我說了我要跑

We got a stickler, I'll get him out of office ASAP.

我們有一個頑固分子，我會盡快讓他下臺。

- [All] Vote or die, vote or die, vote or die,

- [全部]投票或死亡，投票或死亡，投票或死亡。

vote or die, vote or die.

投票或死亡，投票或死亡。

- Please leave, we need you to go.

- 請離開，我們需要你離開。

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

必須是新鮮的

- Greetings earthlings,

- 問候地球人。

Anders Holmvik, resident advisor.

Anders Holmvik，駐地顧問；

- Hi, I'm Blake. - Blake.

- 嗨，我是布雷克。- 布雷克 Blake.

- Sup, I'm Adam DeMamp.

- 你好，我是亞當-德曼普。

- You play sports?

- 你會運動嗎？

- Swim team. - So no?

- 游泳隊。- 所以沒有？

- Sorry, that was a funny one.

- 對不起，那是一個有趣的。

- Oh yeah, that's funny?

- 哦，是的，這很有趣？

You know what's not funny?

你知道什麼不好笑嗎？

Burning alive in the middle of the night

在半夜活活燒死

because you don't know your microwave just caught on fire.

因為你不知道你的微波爐剛剛著火。

Microwave's not allowed in the dorm.

微波爐不允許在宿舍裡使用。

So I'll be taking this because I'm your RA.

所以我會接受這個，因為我是你的RA。

- Hey, no, I didn't mean all that.

- 嘿，不，我不是那個意思。

Come on man, just give me a break.

來吧，夥計，只是讓我休息一下。

- There are no breaks, it's college.

- 沒有休息時間，這是大學。

Hey, hey, hey, cut it out.

嘿，嘿，嘿，別鬧了。

Pull those up.

把它們拉起來

- I'm sorry, I was so close to finishing

- 對不起，我就快完成了。

when you came in initially.

當初你進來的時候

- You're lucky I don't write you up.

- 你很幸運，我沒有把你寫出來。

All right, you two are on my S (bleep) T list.

好吧，你們兩個在我的S（嗶）T名單上。

And it's a short list.

而這是一份簡短的名單。

It's too long, T, O, O, well, welcome to college.

太長了，T，O，O，好吧，歡迎來到大學。

- But that's my microwave!

- 但那是我的微波爐！

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

必須是新鮮的

I found this stuff called niacin.

我發現這個東西叫煙酸。

It's supposed to flush the toxins out of your system.

它應該是為了排出你體內的毒素。

- I could start a fire, burn this place down.

- 我可以放一把火，把這個地方燒掉。

One time when I was a kid, I literally did this

有一次，當我還是個孩子的時候，我真的這樣做了

for like 45 minutes and I started a fire.

像45分鐘，我開始一個火。

My clubhouse went up in flames.

我的會所被燒燬了

Feel that.

感受一下。

- That was a cool dance. - Yeah, thank you.

- 這是一個很酷的舞蹈。- 是啊，謝謝你。

What's your idea, dude?

你有什麼想法，夥計？

You're gonna give some egg salad sandwiches

你要給一些雞蛋沙拉三明治。

out of that little cooler?

從那個小冰櫃裡出來的？

- No, I was thinking maybe two tall glasses

- 不，我想的是兩隻高腳杯

of 100% clean urine.

的100%清潔尿液。

- What?

- 什麼？

- Yeah, I knew about the drug test

- 是的，我知道藥檢的事

because they announced it two months ago.

因為他們兩個月前就宣佈了。

Me being your friend, stocked up for you.

我作為你的朋友，為你儲備了一些東西。

'Cause you guys are drug addicts.

因為你們都是癮君子。

But then you had to pull yesterday's little sexting prank.

但是，你不得不把昨天的小sexting惡作劇。

And now I don't think you deserve it.

現在我覺得你不配。

But I'll let you earn it.

但我會讓你賺到的。

- Name it.

- 命名它。

- Bare with me here.

- 在這裡，裸露與我。

I thought about this last night.

我昨晚就想過這個問題。

- Eat this. - No thank you,

- 吃這個吧- 不，謝謝你。

that is danger.

這就是危險。

- Give me the damn tile.

- 給我那該死的瓷磚。

- Okay, sure.

- 好吧，當然。

I really hate you for this.

我真的很討厭你這樣。

- Enjoy that.

- 好好享受吧

- And you know how this is going to feel coming out.

- 你也知道這東西出來會是什麼感覺。

- Feast. - Probably not good.

- 宴。- 可能不好吃。

- It's gonna make our butt holes bleed.

- 這會讓我們的屁股洞流血。

- Thanks. - Chow down.

- 謝謝你- 吃吧

(crunching) - Oh wow.

哦，哇。

- That's a big first bite.

- 這是一個大的第一口。

That's a really big first bite.

這第一口真的很大。

- It's so dry.

- 它是如此的乾燥。

- It's like a mummy's dick.

- 就像木乃伊的小弟弟一樣。

- And this guy, you gotta catch up with your friend.

- 而這個傢伙，你得追上你的朋友。

- You're a real son of a bitch.

- 你真是個狗孃養的。

- Speaking of ketchup.

- 說到番茄醬。

Get the barbecue sauce on it, huh?

把烤肉醬塗在上面，嗯？

(gagging)

(gagging)

All right, you guys have had enough.

好了，你們已經受夠了。

Why don't you just wash it down, champs?

你為什麼不把它洗乾淨呢，冠軍？

- That's piss. - That's urine.

- 那是小便- 那是尿。

- We're not gonna drink piss. - No, thank you.

- 我們不會喝尿的- 不，謝謝你。

- No, no, no, this is Gatorade.

- 不，不，不，這是佳得樂。

See that's what happens when you

你看，這就是當你

mess with the mastermind of pranks.

惹上了惡作劇的主謀。

- Okay, wow.

- 好吧，哇。

- You pull a prank on me.

- 你在我身上搞惡作劇。

You get pranked back.

你被惡作劇回來了。

All right?

好嗎？

Here is the real piss and it's all mine. (laughs)

這裡才是真正的尿，都是我的。（笑）

It's all-- - Over your face.

在你臉上。

What?

什麼？

What?

什麼？