Thank you for having me.

謝謝你邀請我。

Are you a big cry, baby?

你是一個大哭，寶貝？

Yeah, I'm I'm a great big cry baby How often are you crying these days?

是啊，我是我是個大愛哭的孩子，你最近多久哭一次？

Cried Ah, lot yesterday.

哭了啊，昨天很多。

What happened yesterday?

昨天發生了什麼？

It was a bit of bad day.

今天的天氣有點不好。

It was just a bad day.

這只是一個糟糕的一天。

That's the worst thing.

這是最糟糕的事情。

My days bad.

我的日子不好過。

Here we are at half a tank, so well, it's about to get worse.

我們現在只剩半罐了，所以，情況會越來越糟。

Let's look at the stats and yeah, I don't I'm not seeing anything, so good man keeps saying all good.

我們看一下數據統計，是啊，我不我沒看到什麼，所以好人一直說都很好。

We're okay.

我們沒事了

That's limp our way through this.

這就是我們的跛行方式。

Yeah.

是啊。

Our first round is crying on command.

我們的第一輪是奉命而哭。

Whether or not you can force itself cry, do you think that you could cry?

能不能把本身逼哭，你覺得你能哭嗎？

I mean, I'm feeling pretty bad right now, so I'm I think so.

我是說，我現在感覺很糟糕，所以我... ...我想是的。

Yeah.

是啊。

It seemed really happy about it.

它似乎真的很高興。

Wasn't?

不是嗎？

No, it wasn't funny.

不，這不好笑。

That's fine.

那就好

Damage is done, but let's just move on.

損失已經造成了，但我們還是繼續前進吧。

Sorry, bro.

對不起，兄弟。

Okay, let's do it.

好吧，我們開始吧。

321 Oh, Brow.

321哦，眉毛。

My saliva is just so viscous right now.

我的口水現在實在是太粘稠了。

Three tiers with told us having a bad day.

三層與告訴我們有一個糟糕的一天。

Hell, yeah.

地獄，是的。

What were you thinking about women?

你在想什麼女人？

Pretty much your girlfriend or your mom or just kind of Ah, just kind of a hybrid of, like my girlfriend.

差不多你的女朋友或你的媽媽 或者只是一種啊，只是一種混合的， 像我的女朋友。

And my mom is, like, one really big woman that feels sort of edible in a way you wanna always, like, have sex with your mother is basically the Oedipal complex.

我的媽媽是一樣，一個真正的大女人 感覺排序的食用方式 你想總是一樣，有性行為 與你的母親基本上是戀母情結。

Yeah.

是啊。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

The sex round is cutting onions.

性圓在切洋蔥。

I'm just gonna ask some questions while we cut some onions.

我只是想在切洋蔥的時候問幾個問題。

Sure.

當然可以

That sounds good.

這聽起來不錯。

How do you drop?

你是怎麼滴？

I actually used to work at a pizza place.

其實我以前在一家披薩店工作過。

Really?

真的嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

I try to eat pizzas off of the trays when people would send it back.

我試著吃托盤上的披薩，當人們會把它送回去。

You know, just because you're like, Okay, it's free food.

你知道，只是因為你喜歡， 好吧，這是免費的食物。

I figure it's like, how often do you go to a restaurant and not finish your meal?

我想這就好比，你有多少次去餐廳吃飯沒吃完？

And just, like, spit on the food, you know, good rate.

就像，吐在食物上，你知道，好率。

That's just clean food.

這只是乾淨的食物。

It's probably clean food.

這可能是乾淨的食物。

So I just eat most of it.

所以我只是吃了大部分。

Okay, so when I say sad, you say childhood sad childhood.

好吧，所以當我說悲傷的時候，你說童年悲傷的童年。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Does that make you think of you had a sad childhood?

這是否讓你想到你有一個悲傷的童年？

Sounds like me know clearly projecting on me.

聽起來像我知道明顯投射到我身上。

You're projecting your projecting, bro.

你在投射你的投射，兄弟。

I'm not getting defensive.

我不是在防衛。

Here was your childhood, like a happy childhood.

這裡有你的童年，就像一個快樂的童年。

I was wanna have a dog.

我想養一隻狗

I never had a dog, so that's kind of sad.

我從來沒有養過狗，所以這是種悲哀。

Yeah, I think my dad got bit as a kid and didn't want to tell us about it, so he would always make up all the dumb shit.

是啊，我想我爸小時候被咬了，不想告訴我們，所以他總是會編造所有的蠢事。

Excuse is like, you're allergic.

藉口就像，你是過敏體質。

Then we have to go buy a caller and food and stuff.

然後我們得去買個電話機和食物什麼的。

That was the big threshold.

這是一個很大的門檻。

Like we have to buy a caller If we got a dog collars, like $2 like I could move along.

就像我們要買一個呼叫器 如果我們有一個狗項圈，像2元一樣，我可以繼續前進。

I could make it in 10 minutes, you know?

我可以在10分鐘內完成，你知道嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

Cool.

爽啊

So you've been dating your girlfriend Sabrina for two years.

所以你和你的女朋友Sabrina交往了兩年。

Two years?

兩年？

Yeah.

是啊。

What do you love about your girlfriend?

你愛你的女朋友什麼？

You know, sometimes the world it's just kind of really seems too big.

你知道，有時世界... ...它只是一種真的似乎太大了。

And I feel like I'm kind of losing it from time to time.

而且我覺得我時常會有點失落。

You know, if I'm with her, it's like stuff is like small, you know, like like e.

你知道，如果我和她在一起，這就像東西就像小， 你知道，就像E。

I hold her and it just feels like nothing matters.

我抱著她，就覺得什麼都不重要了。

You know, like her include it doesn't she like she doesn't matter to me, but she's in close and I ask you something just kind of actually, like, straight up, Just like like the show and stuff aside, like, what does it feel like to be, like losing so badly at your own game?

你知道，像她包括它不 她喜歡她不重要的我， 但她在接近和我問你的東西 只是一種實際的，喜歡，直接了當， 就像像節目和東西之外， 喜歡，它是什麼感覺， 像失去如此糟糕的在自己的遊戲？

Like, Is that good?

就像，這樣好嗎？

Or I don't know what you're talking about.

或者我不知道你在說什麼。

Speaking about somebody that's had so few failures in their life, Like I feel really out of my comfort zone.

說到有人說，有這麼少的失敗 在他們的生活中，像我覺得真的出了我的舒適區。

I feel really privileged that you had you would feel so comfortable, like just failing so badly in front of me to really just give that kind of other side of the aisle like, Wow, that's how other folks live, you know, like, Gosh, that would be really bad if I had to be Jordan, you know, it's next round is smelling salts.

我覺得真的很榮幸，你有 你會覺得很舒服，就像只是失敗這麼糟糕 在我面前真的只是給那種 另一邊的過道一樣， 哇，這就是其他人的生活， 你知道，像，天哪，這將是非常糟糕的 如果我不得不是約旦，你知道， 它的下一輪是聞鹽。

Apparently, it's gonna make us really, really cry.

顯然，這會讓我們真的，真的哭了。

Sure, I don't think people really use these anymore.

當然，我想人們已經不再使用這些東西了。

I think they were discontinued after 19 fifties football games.

我想它們是在19五十年代足球比賽後停產的。

Uh, and 321 Do you just breathe it in?

呃，還有321 你只是把它吸進去嗎？

Holy shit.

我的天啊

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

Where was the last time you cried with your mom?

你最後一次和媽媽哭是在哪裡？

I went back home for Christmas and I accidentally got really blasted on some sauvignon blanc on I just kind of hugged her.

我回家過聖誕節的時候，我不小心真的被一些長相思吹上了，我只是一種擁抱她。

Close was like, Mom, I just wanted to say I recognized the sacrifice that you made for me.

險就像，媽媽，我只想說，我認可你為我做出的犧牲。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

Yeah, And I know that you wanted to do more, but, uh, you supported my nose hairs out of my face.

是啊，我知道你想做得更多，但是，呃，你把我的鼻毛從我的臉上撐開了。

So you hit a million subscribers.

所以你打了一百萬個用戶。

Yeah.

是啊。

And you did a thank you video, which was so sweet.

你做了一個感謝視頻，這是如此甜蜜。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

I cried watching it.

我看得都哭了。

I was like, Oh, my God, I really appreciate you saying that.

我當時想，哦，我的上帝， 我真的很感激你說。

Just like so beautiful, actually, I printed on a comment that Hey, guys.

就像這麼美，其實，我印在評論上說，嘿，各位。

So part of the reason you have such devoted fans is not only because you're multitalented, but because you're so genuine and your interest in your work and your fan base.

所以，你擁有如此忠實的粉絲，部分原因不僅是因為你多才多藝，還因為你是如此真誠，你對你的作品和粉絲的興趣。

Those of us who have been around for a while found you while you were small.

我們這些人在你小的時候就發現了你。

It's weird for me and others to what you grow so big because we know you deserve it and we support it.

我和別人都很奇怪，你長這麼大幹什麼，因為我們知道你值得，我們支持你。

But it's hard to watch you unhappy.

但看著你不開心，我也很難受。

I do.

我是這麼想的

Is the thing is this your therapist?

這東西是你的治療師嗎？

I don't know what's wrong with me.

我不知道我是怎麼了。

I think this next round we're going to pluck nose hairs uh, to see if that will elicit some tears.

我想下一輪我們要去拔鼻毛，看看會不會引起一些眼淚。

Kind of don't really have any regard for my personal well being or appearance.

有點不顧個人安危和外貌的意思。

So you pluck a little guy.

所以，你拔掉一個小傢伙。

I don't have little guys here.

我這裡沒有小傢伙。

I got watching.

我有看。

Getting There's no in between.

得到 沒有中間的東西。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

I would call my mom in two weeks.

我會在兩週內給我媽媽打電話。

Did you call your mom every two weeks?

你是不是每兩週給你媽媽打一次電話？

So honestly, it's probably not that big a deal.

所以說實話，這可能不是什麼大問題。

I feel like that was kind of a tear.

我覺得那是一種淚水。

No, not really.

不，不是真的。

Yeah, exactly.

是的，沒錯。

Oh, no.

哦，不

I hate you, you man.

我恨你，你這個人。

I hate me to.

我恨我。

Your full name is Gustavo Meal Johnson.

你的全名是古斯塔沃-米爾-約翰遜。

Well, first of all, my middle name is actually pronounced a mammal.

好吧，首先，我的中間名其實是讀作哺乳動物的。

A male like it sounds like anal.

男的一樣，聽起來像肛門。

That's like, that's bread and butter making fun of other playground stuff.

這就像，那是麵包和黃油取笑其他遊樂場的東西。

And she goes, no, even ran it through all the tests.

而她去，沒有，甚至跑過所有的測試。

Like kids would make fun of this stupid idiot.

就像孩子們會取笑這個愚蠢的白痴。

How did you grow out of being such?

你是如何成長為這樣的人的？

Like a reserved where he worked, Kid, Um, I was honestly pretty shy, kid, and my mom came in and she said, Gus, I'm gonna make you do the talent show.

就像一個保留的地方，他的工作， 孩子，嗯，我是說實話很害羞，孩子， 我的媽媽來了，她說，格斯，我要讓你做的人才秀。

I'm gonna take away your cell phone and I'm gonna find you unless you do that.

我要拿走你的手機，如果你不這麼做，我就會找到你。

And I was so pissed of here and I was like, Mom, what the hell is wrong with you anyway?

我在這裡很生氣，我想，媽媽，你到底是怎麼了？

I went up there and I sang and I would all the women and ladies in town, So I want to tell Show.

我去了那裡，我唱，我將所有的婦女和女士們在城裡，所以我想告訴顯示。

Yeah, that's a fucking big tear, Isn't that What's that?

是啊，這是一個他媽的大撕裂， 是不是那是什麼？

Right there?

就在那裡？

That's a That's a tear.

那是... ...那是一滴淚。

That's sweat.

這就是汗水。

Oh, now for around called sad song we're gonna play sad song and see if it makes you cry Sure, this song is called Guess you could say Yeah, which is your song You play at the end Slate of all your YouTube video Co wrote it with my friend Joe Duma's.

哦，現在周圍稱為悲傷的歌曲，我們要去玩悲傷的歌曲，看看它是否讓你哭 當然，這首歌叫做猜你可以說是啊，這是你的歌，你玩的所有YouTube視頻的最後板塊與我的朋友喬杜馬的。

Alright, let's see if it makes us cry.

好吧，讓我們看看它是否讓我們哭泣。

Thanks.

謝謝你

I catch myself oils every day.

我每天都會給自己抓油。

Just thinking of your gentle face.

只是想到你那張溫柔的臉。

Yeah, Can I say as a way a steady It's a good yes, yes.

是的，我可以說，作為一種方式 一個穩定的，這是一個很好的是，是的。

Think of grace.

想到恩典。

All right, I know I'm getting through.

好吧，我知道我正在通過。

Catch this perfect found found just yeah, you're not even remotely close, but things They're almost the words.

抓住這個完美的發現發現只是 是的，你甚至沒有遠程接近，但事情 他們幾乎是字。

Yeah, Things next round is called using cry sticks to wipe them under your eyes and to see if that will make you cry.

是啊，事情下一輪叫用哭喪棒抹在眼睛下面，看看會不會讓你哭。

That's the title card, for That's the title.

那是標題卡，對於那是標題。

We score this one a little differently.

我們對這個評分有點不同。

You get points for acting good.

你的演技好就能得到分。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

So what movies make you crime in Going through the Lord of the Rings extended edition trilogy, but especially it, you know, Return of the King.

那麼什麼電影讓你犯罪在去看《指環王》加長版三部曲，但特別是它，你知道，王者歸來。

I mean, everybody's back home in the in the shire and and you know it's Thio Any logical person.

我的意思是，每個人都回到了家 在夏爾和你知道它的Thio任何邏輯的人。

You just assume you know the journey is all done.

你就以為你知道這段旅程已經全部結束了。

No, no, I know.

不，不，我知道。

That's what I was thinking, too is like, No, there has to be more these years.

我也是這麼想的，也是這麼想的，不行，這幾年一定要多。

Don't count.

不要計較。

It's not running around.

這不是到處亂跑。

321 go!

321，走！

Nobody puts baby in a court.

沒有人可以把孩子送進法庭

Thank you.

謝謝你了

We're dying.

我們快死了

Richard Parker.

理查德-帕克

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉

You trust me?

你相信我嗎？

And I've e failed you, not the peas Killing me won't bring back your honey e love the smell of napalm in the morning If you live to be 100 e wanna live to be 100 minus one day so I never have to live without you.

我辜負了你，不是豆子 殺了我也不能讓你的蜜糖回來 我喜歡早上凝固汽油彈的味道 如果你能活到100歲，我想活到100歲減去一天，這樣我就不用沒有你了

It's a one year membership to the jelly of the month Club e mean, that's the gift that just gives all year, isn't it?

這是一個一年的會員資格 月子裡的果凍俱樂部e的意思是，這是禮物 只是給所有的一年，不是嗎？

You Bewitched me, body and soul.

你迷住了我，身體和靈魂。

God, I've had it with these motherfucking snakes.

天啊，我已經受夠了這些該死的蛇。

There's motherfucking plane!

有他媽的飛機！

The truth is, he didn't want to marry me.

事實是，他不想和我結婚。

Hey, didn't love me titles.

嘿，不愛我的標題。

What's Titus Process?

什麼是Titus流程？

Ho tay toes Boil them, mash them, stick him in the studio.

煮熟了，搗碎了，把他塞進工作室。

You don't mean it.

你不是認真的

It's just gholam talking.

只是Gholam在說話

Oh, fuck.

哦，他媽的。

I'm gonna be Oh, I have one Try battle.

我要去哦，我有一個嘗試戰鬥。

I have one cry battle.

我有一個哭戰。

I have one cry battle.

我有一個哭戰。

I have one cry battle.

我有一個哭戰。

This time they're telling me that you have one cry battle.

這次他們告訴我，你有一個哭戰。

So, uh, congratulations to Gus.

所以，呃，祝賀格斯。

I don't We can you know, we can recount the e.

我不知道，我們可以... ...你知道的，我們可以重述一下。

I think they're pretty solid.

我覺得他們很可靠。

What does it mean to you To have one?

對你來說，擁有一個人意味著什麼？

Uh, I think more importantly, uh, than that.

呃，我認為更重要的是，呃，比這。

I think the people at home want to know just how bad?

我想國內的人都想知道到底有多糟糕？

Because I know it's very bad, but like, how bad does it feel to have inevitably undoubtedly lost this one?

因為我知道這是非常糟糕的，但就像，它是如何糟糕的感覺，有不可避免的無疑失去了這一個？

The camps over you know you don't No, you're still crying.

營地那邊你知道你不知道 不，你還在哭。

Are you know the game's over?

你知道遊戲結束了嗎？

So titles potato way, do a flame.

所以標題洋芋的方式，做一個火焰。

Sort of Think e don't think that really adds to anything.

排序認為e不認為這真的增加了什麼。