Thank you.

謝謝你了

Oh, thank you, Canada.

哦，謝謝你，加拿大。

I saw a moose in person.

我親眼看到一隻麋鹿。

I mean, we're in moose.

我的意思是，我們是在麋鹿。

I'm a person who saw a moose.

我是一個看到麋鹿的人。

And I tell you, I don't feel like I was ready.

我告訴你，我覺得我還沒準備好。

I don't know how big I thought a moose was gonna be, but I was way off.

我不知道我以為麋鹿會有多大，但我錯了。

I was I was way off.

我是... ...我錯了

I was It was huge.

我是... ...這是巨大的。

And I feel like I should have been warned.

而且我覺得我應該被警告。

Like someone should have been like, you might see a moose get ready.

就像有人應該一直喜歡， 你可能會看到一個駝鹿準備。

But my friend was like, You might see Mos have fun like it was a butterfly or something.

但我的朋友就說，你可能會看到Mos玩得很開心，就像它是一隻蝴蝶什麼的。

Hopefully you see a moose.

希望你能看到一頭麋鹿。

So I was like in shock.

所以我當時就像在震驚。

When I saw it, I was like, Wow!

當我看到它的時候，我當時就想，哇!

Whoa!

哇！

Are they shooting a Star Wars movie up here?

他們在這裡拍《星球大戰》嗎？

Mhm.

嗯

How many people are in that most costume?

那最服裝有多少人？

At least three.

至少三個。

It was huge.

它是巨大的。

It was the size of like a transformer.

它的大小就像一個變壓器。

It was gigantic.

它是巨大的。

And then my friend was like, Don't get close.

然後我的朋友就說，不要靠近。

It will kill you.

它會殺了你。

What?

什麼？

At that moment I realized my moose knowledge didn't exist.

那一刻，我發現我的麋鹿知識並不存在。

I knew nothing about moose like my most knowledge comes from cartoons in cartoons, Mr Like Hey, how you doing?

我對麋鹿一無所知，就像我最多的知識來自於卡通片中的漫畫一樣，像先生一樣嘿，你怎麼樣？

The oh, But in real life, like I gotta kill you How did that translate?

哦，但在現實生活中，就像我要殺了你一樣 怎麼翻譯？

Never hear Moose in those animal songs, right?

從來沒有在那些動物歌曲中聽到過麋鹿的聲音吧？

The cow goes moo The cat goes me out, the moose goes, I'm gonna stop you Toe death Those don't heir's heir.

牛走了，貓走了，我走了，麋鹿走了，我要阻止你的腳趾死了，這些都不是繼承人的繼承人。

Amazing.

驚人的。

You know, that's that's spicy meat with that sweet sauce which I'm almost positive is just melted ice cream.

你知道，那是... ...辣肉和甜醬... ...我幾乎可以肯定那只是融化的冰淇淋。

I'll have a don't air making cookies And Craig, don't air me.

我不做餅乾，克雷格也不做我。

I don't I still can't find out what it iss.

我不我還是找不到它是什麼。

It's like, you know, dancer and Prancer and don't air and blitz.

就像，你知道的，舞者和魄力，別空和暴擊。

And but do you recall the most tasty diarrhea causing meat of all?

而但你還記得最好吃的致瀉肉嗎？

It's the don't care.

這是不在乎的。

I'm convinced that the don't air was just created so we can digest poutine, right?

我相信，不要空氣只是為了讓我們能消化布丁而產生的，對嗎？

Some guy went to the dry.

有人去幹。

I had poutine a month ago.

我一個月前吃過布丁。

Doctors like I'm gonna prescribe you a don't air figured of work.

醫生像我要給你開一個不要空想的工作。

I'm also going to give you a prescription for a diaper.

我也要給你開個紙尿褲的處方。

Very important you put the diaper on before you eat the donation.

非常重要的是你把尿布穿上後再吃捐。

But you know poutine it's a little irresponsible.

但你知道布丁它有點不負責任。

I mean, after all, I don't want to die.

我的意思是，畢竟，我不想死。

Yeah, It's almost like someone was just trying to make French fries mawr unhealthy.

是啊，這幾乎就像有人只是想讓薯條不健康。

What if we cover and everything that causes heart disease?

如果我們覆蓋和一切導致心臟病的因素呢？

Let's do it.

我們開始吧

We have free health care.

我們有免費的醫療服務。

Do you know that poutine and French means Vladimir Putin?

你知道布丁和法國的意思是弗拉基米爾-普京嗎？

I'm just saying, I have to admit I'm a little disappointed by the number of Tim Hortons in town.

我只是想說，我不得不承認我對鎮上的Tim Hortons的數量有點失望。

There's some, but you go, you go to some cities in Canada and the number of Tim Hortons.

有一些，但是你去，你去加拿大的一些城市，Tim Hortons的數量。

It is uncomfortable, like your drive by the fifth one.

它是不舒服的，就像你被第五個人開車。

And you're like eyes.

而你就像眼睛。

This a Tim Hortons theme park?

這是個Tim Hortons主題公園？

Are we sure they're only selling coffee and doughnuts?

我們確定他們只賣咖啡和甜甜圈嗎？

Katie is.

凱蒂是。

You guys are always like, That's our Dunkin Donuts.

你們總是說，那是我們的Dunkin Donuts。

That's our That's our don't get done.

那是我們的，那是我們的沒有完成。

Yeah, in America, we don't have Duncan Donuts on every block.

是啊，在美國，我們並不是每個街區都有鄧肯甜甜圈。

Tim Hortons is like America's stop sign Now.

蒂姆-霍頓就像美國的站牌一樣，現在。

Now there's I've seen some Tim Hortons in American.

現在我在美國看到了一些Tim Hortons。

Whenever I see a Tim Hortons in America, I always have the same thought.

每當我在美國看到Tim Hortons的時候，我總是有同樣的想法。

Don't force your culture on us.

不要把你的文化強加給我們。

Yeah, mhm.

是啊，嗯。

We're having an election in America.

我們在美國舉行選舉。

So there's bound to be some Americans that threatened to move to Canada if if that person gets elected I'm moving to Canada.

所以一定會有一些美國人威脅說，如果那個人當選了，我就搬到加拿大去。

I don't remember Canada extending an invitation.

我不記得加拿大發出過邀請。

Yes, it's like and I've been coming to Canada for years.

是的，這就像和我多年來一直來加拿大。

Been recruited zero times.

被招零次。

You know, no other work out with.

你知道，沒有其他的工作與。

Hey, you live in the States.

嘿，你住在美國。

You ever thought of making a movie?

你有沒有想過拍一部電影？

How you feel about clam juice?

你覺得蛤蜊汁怎麼樣？

I remember the first time I came to the Canada.

我記得我第一次來加拿大的時候。

The big difference I noticed was that, uh, things were measured differently, right?

我注意到最大的不同是，呃，東西的測量方式不同，對吧？

Temperature and distance.

溫度和距離。

And remember, at the time being like, Well, that's annoying.

還記得，當時是這樣的，嗯，真煩人。

Then eventually, I realized it wasn't just Canada.

後來，我最終意識到，不只是加拿大。

It was the entire world.

那是整個世界。

Okay, that uses the metric system except for us.

好吧，除了我們之外，都是用公制的。

And I tell you, it was strange.

我告訴你，這很奇怪。

Is an American to realize every other country on the planet was wrong?

美國人要意識到地球上其他國家都是錯的嗎？

Right on should change for us because we all know God loves America more and that love is measured in feet.

對應該為我們改變，因為我們都知道上帝更愛美國，而這種愛是用腳來衡量的。

Yeah, I do love doing international shows.

是啊，我確實喜歡做國際演出。

It's different with Trump is president.

特朗普當了總統就不一樣了。

I know you guys were all fans of his, but no, it's different with Trump.

我知道你們都是他的粉絲，但不，有了特朗普就不一樣了。

It's It's kind of like having a parent that's an alcoholic show up in a country like sorry about my dad the O Canada.

這有點像有一個父母是一個酒鬼出現在一個國家，像對不起我的爸爸，O加拿大。

It starts off normal.

開始的時候很正常。

The further east you go, the crazier it gets like Newfoundland is like Barbara Brand Burn, Ma'am.

越往東走，越是瘋狂，就像紐芬蘭就像芭芭拉-布蘭德燒傷一樣，女士。

Ma'am.

女士。

Broom.

掃帚。

Newfoundland is like the crazy uncle that you don't introduce to friends until you've known that for a long time.

紐芬蘭就像一個瘋狂的大叔，在你認識很久才會向朋友介紹。

E don't want them to think I'm like, I'm No.

我不想讓他們覺得我是個 "No"。

Everything is crazy in Newfoundland.

紐芬蘭的一切都很瘋狂。

Everything.

一切的一切。

It's like a Newfoundland.

它就像一隻紐芬蘭犬。

Uh, time zones.

呃，時區。

Do you wanna be in the same time?

你想在同一時間嗎？

Zone is the Maritimes.

區是濱海新區。

We'll go a half hour earlier.

我們會提前半小時去。

Uh, worldwide time zones, air done by the hour.

呃，全球時區，空中按小時完成。

We'll go half hour.

我們會去半小時。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Just final housekeeping Here is Newfoundland.

只是最後的家務事 這裡是紐芬蘭。

Three words or two words.

三個字或兩個字。

One word.

一個字：

Yeah, Thank you very much.

是啊，非常感謝你。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

Spend some time in Quebec.

花一些時間在魁北克。

I love Quebec.

我愛魁北克。

My favorite part of the Quebecois culture is the curse words.

我最喜歡魁北克文化中的罵人話。

The curse words in Quebec are just Catholic objects in French.

魁北克的罵人話在法語中只是天主教的對象。

Tab Anak Oh, stay.

泰伯-安納克哦，留下來。

They're just saying now, mounds.

他們現在只是說，丘。

You're a chair.

你是一張椅子。

Well, then you're a table.

好吧，那你就是一張桌子。

Fellas.

夥計們

Fellas, there's Children present.

夥計們，有孩子在場。

Women are funny.

女人很有趣。

Your wife must have a sense of humor.

你老婆一定很有幽默感。

She's seeing you naked.

她在看你的裸體。

Uh, I don't like you.

呃，我不喜歡你。

Come back.

回來吧

Do I call you Or do I just commit a crime?

我是要給你打電話還是要犯罪？

Probably committing a crime would get me to Ukraine.

可能犯罪會讓我去烏克蘭。

This is me and my most inviting you and good night.

這是我和我最邀請的你，晚安。