since your last performance review?

自你上次績效評估以來？

Wow. Where to begin?

哇，從哪裡開始呢？從哪裡開始呢？

I guess, let's start at the top.

我想，還是從頭開始吧。

Your hair is disgusting. Everybody can tell

你的頭髮真噁心大家都能看出來

you're using shampoo-conditioner combo.

你用的是洗髮調理組合。

Moving down the skull, you're starting to get

從頭蓋骨往下走，你就會開始得到

bags under your eyes like Jake,

你的眼袋像傑克。

and it's making harder to tell you apart.

而且讓人更難分辨你們的身份。

- On a positive note, you are not a fraud,

- 從積極的方面來說，你不是金光黨。

but that's only because you failed to fool anyone

但那是因為你沒有騙到任何人

into thinking you are remotely competent.

以為自己有多大本事。

[cell phone buzzing] On a negative note,

[手機嗡嗡聲] 在一個負面的消息。

you're an absolute fool.

你是一個絕對的傻瓜。

And you're checking your phone in the middle

而你卻在中間查看你的手機。

of a performance review.

績效審查的。

- Your knees are knobby as all hell,

- 你的膝蓋是結實的，因為所有的地獄。

just two big, horrifying knobs.

只是兩個大的，可怕的旋鈕。

I'd turn them, but I'm afraid what lurks behind those doors.

我想把它們轉過來，但我害怕那些門後面有什麼。

I'll skip your splinty shins for now,

我先不說你的脛骨有多刺。

but we both know your toes are weird,

但我們都知道你的腳趾頭很怪異

and last but not least,

最後但並非最不重要的是，

we know from our screen monitoring program

我們從我們的螢幕監控程序中得知

you've been watching movies at work.

你一直在看電影在工作。

And you have terrible taste.

而且你的品味很差

In summation, your job is hanging by a thread,

總而言之，你的工作是懸而未決的。

and you're living in a scissors factory.

而你卻住在一個剪刀工廠裡。

- Well, John, some of those adjectives

- 嗯，約翰，其中一些形容詞

will haunt me for the rest of my life.

將困擾我的餘生。

- Right. - You clearly put

- 是的，我知道- 你清楚地把

a lot of thought into that, so...

花了很多心思，所以... ...

good job.

好工作

[dramatic music]

[戲劇性音樂]

- Sorry, you're telling me that I did a good job

- 對不起，你是說我做得很好？

on your performance review?

對你的績效考核？

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Yeah?

- 是嗎？

- Great.

- 厲害

Thank you, Matt.

謝謝你，馬特。

I did do a good job.

我確實做得很好。

[both laughing]

[都笑了]

And hey, all that stuff about your job

還有，關於你工作的那些事

hanging by a thread, you know I'm just

懸崖勒馬，你知道我只是...

trying to motivate you, right?

試圖激勵你，對不對？

I mean, if the lion tamer doesn't crack the whip,

我的意思是，如果馴獅師不打碎鞭子。

the lions start thinking he doesn't have a whip.

獅子們開始認為他沒有鞭子。

You catch my drift? I don't know if you've ever

你明白我的意思嗎？我不知道你是否曾經...

seen lions turn on their master,

見過獅子背叛自己的主人。

but there's a reason that I stopped watching lion videos.

但我不再看獅子視頻是有原因的。

- That's a really effective analogy, John.

- 這是一個非常有效的比喻，約翰。

Good job.

做得好

- Great.

- 厲害