This is "The Tonight Show."

這裡是 "今夜秀"。

Well, guys, I want to say congrats

好了，夥計們，我想說恭喜你。

to the Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers

到堪薩斯城酋長隊和坦帕灣海盜隊。

on advancing to Super Bowl 55.

在晉級第55屆超級碗的時候。

That is right.

是的

Tom Brady is once again returning to the Super Bowl.

湯姆-布雷迪再次重返超級碗。

Man, between Tom Brady and Joe Biden,

夥計，在湯姆-布雷迪和喬-拜登之間。

what a month it's been for 78-year-old white guys.

對於78歲的白叟來說，這一個月是什麼日子？

Yep, Brady will be playing in his 10th Super Bowl.

是的，布雷迪將參加他的第10屆超級碗比賽。

How does he keep doing this?

他怎麼會一直這麼做？

I think he once got stuck making small talk at a Super Bowl party

我想他有一次在超級碗的聚會上閒聊時被卡住了。

and vowed, "I will never put myself in this position again."

併發誓："我再也不把自己放在這個位置上了。"

It's like, "I'll just play in all of them.

就像，"我就在所有的人中玩。

If Brady keeps up this pace, I'm just worried

如果布雷迪繼續保持這個速度，我只是擔心。

where he's gonna put the 11th Super Bowl ring

他要把第11個超級碗戒指放在哪裡？

when he runs out of fingers.

當他沒有手指的時候

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Aw, no.

-啊，不

-His toe, the big toe, maybe?

-他的腳趾，大腳趾，也許？

-Oh. [ Laughs ]

-哦。[笑]

-Meanwhile, the Chiefs are going

-同時，酋長隊也要去了

to their second Super Bowl in a row,

到他們連續第二個超級碗。

led by star quarterback Patrick Mahomes.

由明星四分衛帕特里克-馬霍姆斯領銜。

He's 25, he's the reigning Super Bowl MVP,

他25歲了，他是超級碗的衛冕MVP。

and he signed a deal for $500 million.

和他簽了一份5億美元的協議。

He might be the only guy on earth

他可能是地球上唯一的人

Tom Brady would trade places with.

湯姆-布雷迪會與之交換位置。

Of course, it's not just the quarterbacks facing off,

當然，這不僅僅是四分衛的對決。

it's also the coaches.

也是教練。

The Chiefs are led by Andy Reid.

酋長隊由安迪-裡德率領。

The Buccaneers are led by Bruce Arians.

Buccaneers由Bruce Arians上司。

Can we see them both?

我們能同時看到他們嗎？

Yeah. [ Laughter ]

是啊。[笑聲]

Looks like a before and before photo.

看起來像是前後的照片。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Kind of strange that we've never seen them at the same time.

有點奇怪，我們從來沒有見過他們在同一時間。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

The only thing we know for sure --

我們唯一能確定的是...

the winning coach will be red, white, and round.

勝利的教練將是紅、白、圓。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Right now, the Kool-Aid man is like, "I'm so torn. Oh, yeah!"

現在，酷愛的人是這樣的，"我很糾結。哦，耶！"

And this is cool, the Buccaneers will be the first team ever

而這是很酷的，海盜隊將是有史以來的第一支球隊

to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium.

在自己的主場打一場超級碗。

Apparently, the Bucs saw the entire world working from home

顯然，小牛隊看到了在家工作的整個世界。

and thought, "Eh, why not us?"

心想："誒，為什麼不是我們？"

One NBA team is allowing a limited number of fans

一支NBA球隊允許有限數量的球迷。

back into their arena this week,

本週回到他們的舞臺上。

and they've come up with a unique way

他們已經想出了一個獨特的方式。

to keep people safe from the virus. Listen to this.

以保證人們免受病毒侵害。聽聽這個。

-The Miami Heat will use specially-trained dogs

-邁阿密熱火隊將使用經過特殊訓練的狗。

to sniff fans for COVID.

以聞粉絲為COVID。

If the dog sits, that signals

如果狗坐著，那就是信號

they may have detected the virus,

他們可能已經檢測到了病毒。

and fans will be asked to leave.

並要求粉絲離開。

-Yeah, these dogs are super smart.

-是啊，這些狗都是超級聰明的。

They can tell whether you have coronavirus, drugs,

他們可以告訴你是否有冠狀病毒，藥物。

or a counterfeit ticket from StubHub.

或StubHub的假票。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

That's right, the Miami Heat will use COVID-sniffing dogs

沒錯，邁阿密熱火隊將使用COVID嗅探犬。

to screen fans at games, which brings us to our new segment,

來篩選遊戲中的粉絲，這就有了我們新的環節。

"Uhh...I Have Some Questions."

"呃......我有一些問題。"

-♪ Uhh...I Have Some Questions ♪

-呃... ... 我有一些問題？

-First up, since when are there dogs that can "sniff" COVID?

-首先，什麼時候開始有狗可以 "聞 "COVID了？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Next up, if a dog "sniffs" COVID, won't it get COVID?

接下來，如果狗狗 "嗅 "到了COVID，是不是就不會得到COVID了？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Follow-up. Can dogs get COVID?

跟進。狗狗會得COVID嗎？

If they can,

如果他們能。

and a common symptom of COVID is loss of smell,

而COVID的一個常見症狀就是嗅覺喪失。

how can you trust a dog to properly smell more COVID?

如何相信狗狗能正確的多聞COVID？

[ Laughter, applause ]

[笑聲，掌聲]

Also, are these the same dogs

還有，這幾隻狗是同一只嗎？

that sniff for bombs at the airport,

在機場的炸彈嗅覺。

or are they completely different dogs?

還是說它們是完全不同的狗？

If they're the same dogs, are they getting paid overtime pay?

如果是同一條狗，他們有加班費嗎？

I just have so many questions.

我只是有這麼多的問題。

-♪ I just have so many questions ♪

-我只是有這麼多的問題

-Speaking of dogs, yesterday, President Biden's dogs,

-說到狗，昨天，拜登總統的狗。

Champ and Major, moved into the White House.

冠軍和少校，搬進了白宮。

Yep, some dogs get to live in the White House,

是的，有些狗可以住在白宮。

while others have to sniff for COVID.

而其他人則要嗅到COVID。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Not only are Biden's dogs at the White House,

不僅是拜登的狗在白宮。

they're sleeping in the same dog house

同床異夢

that Dr. Fauci was in all of last year.

福齊醫生在去年全年。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

The dogs are actually pretty busy.

狗狗們其實很忙。

They're now in charge of the Space Force.

他們現在是太空部隊的負責人。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Meanwhile, Major hasn't even been there a full day,

同時，少校還沒有在那裡呆上一整天。

and he's already passed an executive order

他已經通過了一項行政命令

that allows you to lick yourself in public.

允許你在公共場合舔自己。

Unbelievable.

難以置信

Some entertainment news. Yesterday, HBO Max released

一些娛樂新聞。昨天，HBO Max發佈了

the first look of the new "Godzilla vs. Kong" movie

新片《哥斯拉大戰金剛》初見端倪

that comes out in March.

3月份出來的。

It looks insane. Check out part of the trailer.

它看起來很瘋狂。看看預告片的一部分。

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ Yeah ♪

-是啊

♪ Come on, oh, here we go ♪

來吧，哦，在這裡，我們走了

♪ Give it a hundred, never nothin' less, here we go ♪

給它一個100，從來沒有什麼少，在這裡，我們走了

-The only thing more fun than that movie

-唯一比那部電影更有趣的是

is imagining two guys in spandex suits

想象著兩個穿著緊身衣的人的樣子

acting that out in front of a green screen.

在綠色螢幕前表演，。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Godzilla and King Kong fight each other the whole movie,

哥斯拉和金剛打了整部電影。

but I'm told it's the make-up sex near the end

但我聽說是最後的化妝性愛。

that got them the R rating.

這讓他們得到了R級的評價。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Cymbal playing ]

[打鈸]

This is going viral.

這是在進行病毒式傳播。

A "Bridgerton" fan spotted a modern-day mistake

一個 "布里奇頓 "的粉絲髮現了一個現代的錯誤。

in one of the opening scenes.

在開場的一個場景中。

Take a look at this.

看看這個。

Can you guys tell what's wrong?

你們能告訴我是怎麼回事嗎？

Here it is. Yeah. The show is set in the 1800s,

在這裡，它是。是啊。該劇是在19世紀。

but there's a yellow line that's only used on modern roads.

但有一條黃線，只在現代道路上使用。

I don't know.

我不知道。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I don't think it's that big of a deal.

我不認為這是一個很大的問題。

-I do.

-我到：

It pulls me out of the trance, man.

它把我從恍惚中拉出來，夥計。

If you want me to watch your show,

如果你想讓我看你的節目，

then you can't be showing things that people didn't use

那你就不能展示人們沒用過的東西。

or have in that era.

或在那個時代有。

[ Telephone rings ]

[電話鈴聲]

-Sorry, what is that?

-抱歉，那是什麼？

Is someone's phone on?

有人開著手機嗎？

-Yeah, sorry, man, I got to take this.

-是的，對不起，夥計，我得接這個電話。

I've been on hold for like an hour.

我一直在等待像一個小時。

Hello?

喂？

Netflix? -Oh, God. [ Laughs ]

Netflix？-哦，上帝。哦，上帝。 [笑]

-Yeah, cancel my subscription.

-對，取消我的訂閱

You know why!

你知道為什麼！

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

-Oh. Alright. Let's move on. Alright.

-哦好吧。讓我們繼續前進。好吧。

Listen to this. An inventor n Sweden has created something

聽聽這個瑞典的一個發明家創造了一個東西

to help keep motorcycle riders safe.

以幫助保障摩托車駕駛員的安全。

-Airbag jeans.

-空氣袋牛仔褲。

These pants have concealed airbags inside the legs.

這條褲子的腿內有隱藏式安全氣囊。

And if riders fall, the airbags are triggered

如果乘客摔倒，安全氣囊就會被觸發

and filled up with compressed air.

並充滿了壓縮空氣。

-Yeah, it's great until you hit a small bump

-是啊，在你遇到小困難之前，它是很好的。

and suddenly turn into MC Hammer.

並突然變成MC Hammer。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

And finally, a volcanic rock was discovered in Brazil

最後，在巴西發現了一塊火山岩。

that looks like Cookie Monster,

這看起來像餅乾怪獸。

and it could be worth more than $10,000.

而且它的價值可能超過1萬美元。

Check this out.

看看這個。

Yeah.

是啊。

10 grand. Right now, people are at home

一萬塊錢。現在，人們都在家裡

with blue paint and a Sharpie

用藍色顏料和銳利筆

like, "Yeah, this rock also looks like Cookie Monster."

像，"是啊，這塊石頭也看起來像餅乾怪獸。"

[ Laughter, applause ]

[笑聲，掌聲]

Sorry, I'm just realizing how different our monologue is now.

對不起，我只是意識到我們的獨白現在是多麼的不同。

Our last two stories were about

我們上兩個故事是關於

inflatable pants and Cookie Monster.

充氣褲和餅乾怪獸。