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  • -Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show," everyone.

    -歡迎,歡迎,歡迎來到 "今夜秀",各位。

  • This is "The Tonight Show."

    這裡是 "今夜秀"。

  • Well, guys, I want to say congrats

    好了,夥計們,我想說恭喜你。

  • to the Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers

    到堪薩斯城酋長隊和坦帕灣海盜隊。

  • on advancing to Super Bowl 55.

    在晉級第55屆超級碗的時候。

  • That is right.

    是的

  • Tom Brady is once again returning to the Super Bowl.

    湯姆-布雷迪再次重返超級碗。

  • Man, between Tom Brady and Joe Biden,

    夥計,在湯姆-布雷迪和喬-拜登之間。

  • what a month it's been for 78-year-old white guys.

    對於78歲的白叟來說,這一個月是什麼日子?

  • Yep, Brady will be playing in his 10th Super Bowl.

    是的,布雷迪將參加他的第10屆超級碗比賽。

  • How does he keep doing this?

    他怎麼會一直這麼做?

  • I think he once got stuck making small talk at a Super Bowl party

    我想他有一次在超級碗的聚會上閒聊時被卡住了。

  • and vowed, "I will never put myself in this position again."

    併發誓:"我再也不把自己放在這個位置上了。"

  • It's like, "I'll just play in all of them.

    就像,"我就在所有的人中玩。

  • If Brady keeps up this pace, I'm just worried

    如果布雷迪繼續保持這個速度,我只是擔心。

  • where he's gonna put the 11th Super Bowl ring

    他要把第11個超級碗戒指放在哪裡?

  • when he runs out of fingers.

    當他沒有手指的時候

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -Aw, no.

    -啊,不

  • -His toe, the big toe, maybe?

    -他的腳趾,大腳趾,也許?

  • -Oh. [ Laughs ]

    -哦。[笑]

  • -Meanwhile, the Chiefs are going

    -同時,酋長隊也要去了

  • to their second Super Bowl in a row,

    到他們連續第二個超級碗。

  • led by star quarterback Patrick Mahomes.

    由明星四分衛帕特里克-馬霍姆斯領銜。

  • He's 25, he's the reigning Super Bowl MVP,

    他25歲了,他是超級碗的衛冕MVP。

  • and he signed a deal for $500 million.

    和他簽了一份5億美元的協議。

  • He might be the only guy on earth

    他可能是地球上唯一的人

  • Tom Brady would trade places with.

    湯姆-布雷迪會與之交換位置。

  • Of course, it's not just the quarterbacks facing off,

    當然,這不僅僅是四分衛的對決。

  • it's also the coaches.

    也是教練。

  • The Chiefs are led by Andy Reid.

    酋長隊由安迪-裡德率領。

  • The Buccaneers are led by Bruce Arians.

    Buccaneers由Bruce Arians上司。

  • Can we see them both?

    我們能同時看到他們嗎?

  • Yeah. [ Laughter ]

    是啊。[笑聲]

  • Looks like a before and before photo.

    看起來像是前後的照片。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Kind of strange that we've never seen them at the same time.

    有點奇怪,我們從來沒有見過他們在同一時間。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • The only thing we know for sure --

    我們唯一能確定的是...

  • the winning coach will be red, white, and round.

    勝利的教練將是紅、白、圓。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Right now, the Kool-Aid man is like, "I'm so torn. Oh, yeah!"

    現在,酷愛的人是這樣的,"我很糾結。哦,耶!"

  • And this is cool, the Buccaneers will be the first team ever

    而這是很酷的,海盜隊將是有史以來的第一支球隊

  • to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium.

    在自己的主場打一場超級碗。

  • Apparently, the Bucs saw the entire world working from home

    顯然,小牛隊看到了在家工作的整個世界。

  • and thought, "Eh, why not us?"

    心想:"誒,為什麼不是我們?"

  • One NBA team is allowing a limited number of fans

    一支NBA球隊允許有限數量的球迷。

  • back into their arena this week,

    本週回到他們的舞臺上。

  • and they've come up with a unique way

    他們已經想出了一個獨特的方式。

  • to keep people safe from the virus. Listen to this.

    以保證人們免受病毒侵害。聽聽這個。

  • -The Miami Heat will use specially-trained dogs

    -邁阿密熱火隊將使用經過特殊訓練的狗。

  • to sniff fans for COVID.

    以聞粉絲為COVID。

  • If the dog sits, that signals

    如果狗坐著,那就是信號

  • they may have detected the virus,

    他們可能已經檢測到了病毒。

  • and fans will be asked to leave.

    並要求粉絲離開。

  • -Yeah, these dogs are super smart.

    -是啊,這些狗都是超級聰明的。

  • They can tell whether you have coronavirus, drugs,

    他們可以告訴你是否有冠狀病毒,藥物。

  • or a counterfeit ticket from StubHub.

    或StubHub的假票。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • That's right, the Miami Heat will use COVID-sniffing dogs

    沒錯,邁阿密熱火隊將使用COVID嗅探犬。

  • to screen fans at games, which brings us to our new segment,

    來篩選遊戲中的粉絲,這就有了我們新的環節。

  • "Uhh...I Have Some Questions."

    "呃......我有一些問題。"

  • -♪ Uhh...I Have Some Questions

    -呃... ... 我有一些問題?

  • -First up, since when are there dogs that can "sniff" COVID?

    -首先,什麼時候開始有狗可以 "聞 "COVID了?

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Next up, if a dog "sniffs" COVID, won't it get COVID?

    接下來,如果狗狗 "嗅 "到了COVID,是不是就不會得到COVID了?

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Follow-up. Can dogs get COVID?

    跟進。狗狗會得COVID嗎?

  • If they can,

    如果他們能。

  • and a common symptom of COVID is loss of smell,

    而COVID的一個常見症狀就是嗅覺喪失。

  • how can you trust a dog to properly smell more COVID?

    如何相信狗狗能正確的多聞COVID?

  • [ Laughter, applause ]

    [笑聲,掌聲]

  • Also, are these the same dogs

    還有,這幾隻狗是同一只嗎?

  • that sniff for bombs at the airport,

    在機場的炸彈嗅覺。

  • or are they completely different dogs?

    還是說它們是完全不同的狗?

  • If they're the same dogs, are they getting paid overtime pay?

    如果是同一條狗,他們有加班費嗎?

  • I just have so many questions.

    我只是有這麼多的問題。

  • -♪ I just have so many questions

    -我只是有這麼多的問題

  • -Speaking of dogs, yesterday, President Biden's dogs,

    -說到狗,昨天,拜登總統的狗。

  • Champ and Major, moved into the White House.

    冠軍和少校,搬進了白宮。

  • Yep, some dogs get to live in the White House,

    是的,有些狗可以住在白宮。

  • while others have to sniff for COVID.

    而其他人則要嗅到COVID。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Not only are Biden's dogs at the White House,

    不僅是拜登的狗在白宮。

  • they're sleeping in the same dog house

    同床異夢

  • that Dr. Fauci was in all of last year.

    福齊醫生在去年全年。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • The dogs are actually pretty busy.

    狗狗們其實很忙。

  • They're now in charge of the Space Force.

    他們現在是太空部隊的負責人。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Meanwhile, Major hasn't even been there a full day,

    同時,少校還沒有在那裡呆上一整天。

  • and he's already passed an executive order

    他已經通過了一項行政命令

  • that allows you to lick yourself in public.

    允許你在公共場合舔自己。

  • Unbelievable.

    難以置信

  • Some entertainment news. Yesterday, HBO Max released

    一些娛樂新聞。昨天,HBO Max發佈了

  • the first look of the new "Godzilla vs. Kong" movie

    新片《哥斯拉大戰金剛》初見端倪

  • that comes out in March.

    3月份出來的。

  • It looks insane. Check out part of the trailer.

    它看起來很瘋狂。看看預告片的一部分。

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • -♪ Yeah

    -是啊

  • Come on, oh, here we go

    來吧,哦,在這裡,我們走了

  • Give it a hundred, never nothin' less, here we go

    給它一個100,從來沒有什麼少,在這裡,我們走了

  • -The only thing more fun than that movie

    -唯一比那部電影更有趣的是

  • is imagining two guys in spandex suits

    想象著兩個穿著緊身衣的人的樣子

  • acting that out in front of a green screen.

    在綠色螢幕前表演,。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Godzilla and King Kong fight each other the whole movie,

    哥斯拉和金剛打了整部電影。

  • but I'm told it's the make-up sex near the end

    但我聽說是最後的化妝性愛。

  • that got them the R rating.

    這讓他們得到了R級的評價。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Cymbal playing ]

    [打鈸]

  • This is going viral.

    這是在進行病毒式傳播。

  • A "Bridgerton" fan spotted a modern-day mistake

    一個 "布里奇頓 "的粉絲髮現了一個現代的錯誤。

  • in one of the opening scenes.

    在開場的一個場景中。

  • Take a look at this.

    看看這個。

  • Can you guys tell what's wrong?

    你們能告訴我是怎麼回事嗎?

  • Here it is. Yeah. The show is set in the 1800s,

    在這裡,它是。是啊。該劇是在19世紀。

  • but there's a yellow line that's only used on modern roads.

    但有一條黃線,只在現代道路上使用。

  • I don't know.

    我不知道。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • I don't think it's that big of a deal.

    我不認為這是一個很大的問題。

  • -I do.

    -我到:

  • It pulls me out of the trance, man.

    它把我從恍惚中拉出來,夥計。

  • If you want me to watch your show,

    如果你想讓我看你的節目,

  • then you can't be showing things that people didn't use

    那你就不能展示人們沒用過的東西。

  • or have in that era.

    或在那個時代有。

  • [ Telephone rings ]

    [電話鈴聲]

  • -Sorry, what is that?

    -抱歉,那是什麼?

  • Is someone's phone on?

    有人開著手機嗎?

  • -Yeah, sorry, man, I got to take this.

    -是的,對不起,夥計,我得接這個電話。

  • I've been on hold for like an hour.

    我一直在等待像一個小時。

  • Hello?

    喂?

  • Netflix? -Oh, God. [ Laughs ]

    Netflix?-哦,上帝。哦,上帝。 [笑]

  • -Yeah, cancel my subscription.

    -對,取消我的訂閱

  • You know why!

    你知道為什麼!

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • -Oh. Alright. Let's move on. Alright.

    -哦好吧。讓我們繼續前進。好吧。

  • Listen to this. An inventor n Sweden has created something

    聽聽這個瑞典的一個發明家創造了一個東西

  • to help keep motorcycle riders safe.

    以幫助保障摩托車駕駛員的安全。

  • -Airbag jeans.

    -空氣袋牛仔褲。

  • These pants have concealed airbags inside the legs.

    這條褲子的腿內有隱藏式安全氣囊。

  • And if riders fall, the airbags are triggered

    如果乘客摔倒,安全氣囊就會被觸發

  • and filled up with compressed air.

    並充滿了壓縮空氣。

  • -Yeah, it's great until you hit a small bump

    -是啊,在你遇到小困難之前,它是很好的。

  • and suddenly turn into MC Hammer.

    並突然變成MC Hammer。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • And finally, a volcanic rock was discovered in Brazil

    最後,在巴西發現了一塊火山岩。

  • that looks like Cookie Monster,

    這看起來像餅乾怪獸。

  • and it could be worth more than $10,000.

    而且它的價值可能超過1萬美元。

  • Check this out.

    看看這個。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • 10 grand. Right now, people are at home

    一萬塊錢。現在,人們都在家裡

  • with blue paint and a Sharpie

    用藍色顏料和銳利筆

  • like, "Yeah, this rock also looks like Cookie Monster."

    像,"是啊,這塊石頭也看起來像餅乾怪獸。"

  • [ Laughter, applause ]

    [笑聲,掌聲]

  • Sorry, I'm just realizing how different our monologue is now.

    對不起,我只是意識到我們的獨白現在是多麼的不同。

  • Our last two stories were about

    我們上兩個故事是關於

  • inflatable pants and Cookie Monster.

    充氣褲和餅乾怪獸。

-Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show," everyone.

-歡迎,歡迎,歡迎來到 "今夜秀",各位。

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