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  • (upbeat music)

  • (knocking)

  • - There he is. - Happy Valentine's Day!!

  • - Ooh nice coat.

  • - Thank you.

  • - So, no date?

  • - No, canceled.

  • Please tell me I'm not the only single person here.

  • - Well there's also Stacey, who fell asleep

  • on the Purple Harmony Pillow and hasn't moved in five hours.

  • - Are you sure he's alive?

  • - He's breathing, but no amount of poking

  • seems to amount to anything.

  • That pillow is very comfortable.

  • - Should I go for the eye?

  • - No. - No.

  • - No. - NO?

  • - [Both] No.

  • - Well once again, Tinder has failed me.

  • - Ooh, Tinder's not so great.

  • - You should download Noser,

  • you can only post pictures of your nostrils

  • and there's no talking allowed.

  • - That's where Mal and I met,

  • but we also matched on Coal Digger.

  • It's like gold digging, but for poor people.

  • - Steven and I met on Sofa,

  • where you take a picture of your sofa,

  • it was love at first sight.

  • - With his sofa?

  • - You know that little indent you get on the couch

  • when you've been sitting in the same spot

  • for 10 years?

  • - [All] Yeah.

  • - Well the indent of my heart was filled...

  • - Don't finish that thought.

  • - ...by his heart's butt.

  • - Aw.

  • - You guys.

  • - Exactly as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

  • - I love you.

  • - We actually met in real life.

  • - Oh see I like that, no app.

  • - And then we realized that that was a sham,

  • so we broke up, and then re-met online

  • and now we are happy.

  • - We weren't before.

  • - No we were not.

  • - We tried so many different apps.

  • Like Emotional Baggage,

  • where you have to upload a recording of yourself

  • crying during therapy.

  • It's real raw.

  • - Oh so raw.

  • She said some things that I cannot un-hear.

  • Or Rebound, where if you date enough people,

  • you get to play a pickup game versus Lebron James.

  • - Lebron James?

  • - There's meetaninmate.com.

  • - Can't get ghosted there.

  • - True.

  • - Well unless they kill you and they you become

  • a real ghost, but then you could just use the ghost apps.

  • For the dead.

  • - Which reminds me, Hunger Dates.

  • - Is that Hunger Games?

  • - Survival of the finest.

  • - Woo woo.

  • - Ancestry.com.

  • - Yeah.

  • Wait, no.

  • - That is not a dating app.

  • - I've been using it wrong.

  • - What?

  • - Okay.

  • - How did you think you were using it?

  • - It's okay.

  • - Guys, I just got a notification on Formdurm.

  • (mumbles)

  • Yeah yeah yeah, it's a dating app,

  • where you collect like badookie dook points,

  • and then it takes your ooh ooh score,

  • and matches you with someone with the same number

  • of oohs and then legally marries you.

  • - Okay so did you just get engaged?

  • - No, I'm married.

  • Yeah!

  • - Congrats.

  • Oh my goodness how is anyone still single?

  • - Congrats.

  • - Dating is so easy.

  • (doorbell ringing)

  • - Hi.

  • Is Adam here?

  • - Hi, do I know you?

  • - No, no I found you on the dating app Stalker,

  • it's really great because only one person

  • knows what's going on.

  • Come on.

  • You are the first thing I would find

  • - This is your shot.

  • - This is it.

  • You're both single so it's perfect.

  • - Guys, fun fact.

  • I legitimately fell asleep using the Purple Harmony Pillow

  • during the filming of this sketch.

  • It just is like, it's so cool on both sides,

  • and it just cradles the pressure points.

  • Anyways, check out more videos, more sketches we have,

  • they're hilarious, and check out merch.

  • Everything's in the description below,

  • live your best life.

(upbeat music)

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B1 中級 美國腔

Valentine's Day Dating Apps

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    たらこ 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 26 日
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