(brooding music)

(你覺得我真的在意這個裙子嗎？)

(fighting)

有時候，當某些人傷你傷得很重很重

- Think I care about this dress?

你甚至不會再有痛覺

(muffled arguing)

直到有些事情，逼著你再去感受，再去面對

- [Voiceover] Sometimes someone hurts you so bad

然後所有的感受、事情，就排山倒海的重襲

- I don't think you understand.

每一個字

- [Voiceover]] It stops hurting at all.

每一個傷痕

(brooding music)

每一個時刻

Until something makes you feel again.

你怎麼會有辦法理解我背後的故事，我從哪裡來

And then it all comes back.

即使你詢問我，然後聆聽我

Every word.

你也沒有辦法真正看到、聽到、感覺到我曾經身處的情境

Every hurt.

你沒辦法記住我故事的一點一滴，因為你沒有走過我走的路

Every moment.

你沒有見到我看過的一切

How could you ever understand where I come from?

所有的過去造就了我

Even if you ask, even if you listen,

這就是我

you do not really hear, or see, or feel.

沒有人看見我

You don't remember my story.

沒有人聽得見我

You haven't walked my path.

沒有人想要我

You haven't seen what I've seen.

這就是我

(ocean waves)

假使我還是些什麼

(desolate music)

(警笛聲)

My past defines me.

(警察：你被逮捕了)

This is who I am.

造就我的，也擊碎了我

I am

整個世界都顛倒混亂，秩序也分崩離析

unseen,

每件事都不像是原本該發生的樣子

unheard

我的靈魂被巨大的悲傷填滿

(camera flashing)

我被困在內心深處的牢籠裡

unwanted.

沒有人、沒有事情可以告訴我出口在哪裡

That is what I am.

被生命中一個又一個的悲劇困住

If even I am anything.

迷失在靈魂的悲慟中

(siren)

看不到光明

(car door)

看不到下一個曙光

(knocking)

無法再去感覺

- [Cop] You're under arrest.

再有希望

Police.

再有夢想

Get on the floor.

生命中最黑暗的時光，像跳針一樣不斷地重複

(desolate music)

而且從來不會停止

- [Voiceover] It seem like the seemed like

我的生命與靈魂好像進入了永夜，看不到天明

the same thing that held me up forced me down.

你可能會好奇，為什麼會這樣子呢？

- No.

但大部份的時候，你會盡量不去思考

- [Voiceover] In a world turned upside down,

嘗試著讓一切事情就這樣過去，好讓自已生存下來

and order disappeared.

和想要讓最重要的事情回到身邊比起來

(baby crying)

其他一切似乎都不重要了

Nothing was how it was suppose to be.

例如，希望再一次看到媽媽的笑臉

And a heavy sadness filled my soul.

或者聽到她唱那首你最愛的歌

(desolate music)

當她唱著那首歌，所有亂七八糟的事情似乎都可以解決

(crickets)

或者，假使你不能讓她再回到你身邊

(thunder)

最少讓你可以照顧你的小弟

(desolate music)

因為你知道，他好需要你

- [Voiceover] Deeper and deeper I fell within myself.

如果讓他一個人，他會好害怕好害怕

- [Blonde Woman] It's all fluffy and fuzzy.

現在又有誰可以牽著他的手

- [Voiceover] And nothing could show me out.

跟他說「沒關係的，一切都會沒事」

(baby crying)

那又有誰會撫慰我呢？

Trapped in the misery of my life.

Hi Zoe，你準備好要搬進來了嗎？

Lost in the sorrow of my soul.

我知道我是無助、絕望、又依賴

Unable to see the light.

但如果是你，你會怎麼做呢？

Unable to see the dawn.

當最需要的一切，卻又威脅了你的存在

To feel.

我聽過很多的承諾

To hope.

他們聽起來都一樣

- What are you doing picking my fruit?

只要我用力地推開，時間或長或短地

- [Voiceover] To dream.

都證明了，他們說的承諾都是空頭支票

(screaming)

每天早上的太陽都會升起，但你知道是從哪裡嗎？

-[Voiceover] I found the darkest days of my life kept coming.

到每一個新的地方，他都會從不同的地方升起

(screaming)

不斷不斷的搬家，讓你已經很難找到「東邊」在哪裡了

The blackest nights for my soul never stopped.

不過，至少太陽還是會升起的

- No, No.

他總是會來

- Yes.

是這支撐著我一路到現在

(screaming)

慢慢地，四季更迭

(water running)

看起來，這次，我腳底下的世界不會再次突然地分崩離析

- [Voiceover] It seemed like it

落地扎根，一切都不斷地重新開展

was always nighttime and nightmares,

小小的希望，在我的心底萌芽

and never morning.

慢慢地，我嘗試去信任這個新生活

And maybe you wonder why,

Hi Zoe，過來看看我為你準備了什麼

but mostly you try not think about it,

我幫你準備了一個禮物喔

and try to get by,

(你真的覺得我在乎這件裙子嗎？)

and try to survive.

(我想你根本不了解我)

And all the other stuff seems so much like

(是嗎？)

nothing compared to just wanting

(我想你根本不了解我)

the most important things back again.

我一直希望，有個人可以告訴我「一切都會沒事的」

Like wishing you could see your mom smile again

(你敢再碰我一下，我一定會殺了你)

and hear her sing that one favorite song that always

讓我幫你穿上吧

calmed you down when things were all messed up.

不，不要碰我！

Or if you couldn't have her back,

希望有人可以告訴我

at least get to take care of your baby brother

「有一天，一切都會很正常，妳不會再孤單了」

because you know he needs you,

我會有一個可以抱著我，為了我而堅強的媽媽

and he's going to be so scared all alone.

因為，我可能真的沒有辦法一個人面對所有的事情

And whose going to hold his hand

Hi，我打電話來是想要(低聲講話)

and whisper it's going to be alright to him?

非常謝謝你

(baby crying)

謝謝

And who will whisper it to me?

好的

- Hi ya, Zoe.

這就是我的故事，我的過去，我的歷史

It's so good to have you here.

這不是我的錯

Are you ready to move in?

不是我造成的

- [Voiceover] I know I'm helpless, dependent,

也不能因此就決定了我的未來

desperate, but what happens when those you

我是，可以被愛的

need the most threaten your very existence?

我是，值得被呵護照顧的

I've heard plenty of promises

而一個微小的光芒，就能夠讓一切都不一樣

and they all sound the same.

光芒，帶來希望

But push hard enough and sooner or later

有一天

they all prove to be empty.

屬於我的夏日，即將來臨

The sun comes up every morning,

but do you know where?

Each place it's somewhere different.

It's hard to find east when you keep moving around,

but at least it comes.

It always comes.

I've come to depend on that.

And slowly, slowly seasons changed around me,

and it seemed this time that maybe the world

would not be pulled out from under me again.

Feet safe, roots starting to grow.

Little buds of hope for me.

Slowly attempting to trust this new life.

- Hi, come over and let me show

you what I got for you.

I got you a gift.

(far away arguing)

- Do you think I care about this dress?

I don't think you understand me.

Do you?

I don't think you understand me.

- [Voiceover] I wish someone would tell me (background arguing)

it would be O.K.

- I swear to God you touch me again, - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I will kill you.

- Here let me help you.

- [Zoe] No, don't touch me.

- [Voiceover] That one day, maybe.

- I hate you, I hate you.

- [Voiceover] I'll feel normal.

- [Zoe] I hate you.

- [Voiceover] That I won't always be alone.

That I'll have a mommy who will hug me

and be strong for me,

because maybe I can't do it all by myself.

(desolate music)

- [Foster Mother] Hi, yes.

I'm calling to (whispering).

Thank you so much.

Thanks.

O.K. (whispering)

(desolate music)

(drawer slam)

(drawer slam)

(drawer slam)

- [Voiceover] This my past, my history, my story,

is not my fault.

It's not because of me.

And doesn't have to be what defines my future.

(desolate music)

I am lovable.

I am worthy of care.

And that glimmer of light, it makes all the difference.

The glimmers of light give me hope that someday

my summer will come.

(desolate music)