Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

And I spent so much money on clothes this weekend.

而且這個週末我花了很多錢買衣服。

Well, you look dope, girl.

嗯，你看起來很傻，女孩。

So yes, money well spent.

所以是的，錢花得很值。

But I get you.

但我明白你的意思

I also shelled out a ton of money this month.

這個月我也掏了一大筆錢。

Yeah?

是嗎？

On what?

什麼？

Close to no, no.

接近於沒有，沒有。

I paid someone to call me out on all of my intimacy and commitment fears and basically exposed deep seated emotional issues surrounding relationships and abandonment that I had no idea existed.

我付錢給某人，讓他把我所有的親密關係和承諾恐懼叫出來，基本上暴露了圍繞著關係和拋棄的深層情感問題，我不知道這些問題存在。

Well, do you look good?

那麼，你看起來好嗎？

Thanks.

謝謝你

Holy shit balls, you guys.

我的天啊，你們這些傢伙。

I signed up for a life coach and a dating coach because he has some extras.

我註冊了一個生活教練和一個約會教練，因為他有一些額外的東西。

Helen, I wanted something to complement the three therapist.

海倫，我想要一些東西來補充三個治療師。

I already they But I've been learning a lot too much for one video.

我已經他們，但我已經學到了很多太多的視頻。

So today I wanted to hone in on one piece of advice I got from my dating coach that I have found supremely helpful in my adventures.

所以，今天我想磨合在一塊的建議，我得到了從我的約會教練，我發現在我的冒險極其有用。

So I went on this date with this guy and I was talking to her afterwards and she asked how to go.

於是我和這個人去約會，事後我和她哈拉，她問怎麼去。

Was good.

很好。

Hey, was cute and funny.

嘿，是可愛和有趣。

And he's a creative person, which I like a lot.

而且他是個有創意的人，我很喜歡。

And we have a lot of the same goals.

而且我們有很多相同的目標。

E Yeah.

是的

You know, I want to point something out to you.

你知道，我想給你指出一些東西。

You told me all of these things about him that you would see on paper.

你告訴我所有這些關於他的事情，你會在紙上看到。

But you know what?

但你知道嗎？

You didn't tell me.

你沒有告訴我。

Uhh his his man size because I didn't I didn't know you didn't mention anything about how you felt.

呃，他的他的男人的尺寸，因為我不知道我不知道你沒有提到任何關於你的感覺。

Oh, he's this quality, and he's that quality, but who cares?

哦，他是這個品質，他是那個品質，但誰在乎呢？

First and foremost, how do you feel on that date?

首先，最重要的是，你在那次約會中感覺如何？

Comfortable?

舒服嗎？

Safe?

安全嗎？

Or did you feel self conscious?

還是說你有自我意識？

Did you feel like you could be yourself?

你覺得自己可以做自己嗎？

Did you feel like you have to put on an act in order to get him to like you?

你是不是覺得要裝模作樣才能讓他喜歡你？

Uh huh.

嗯哼。

Mm.

嗯。

You're good.

你是好樣的

You really good.

你真的很不錯。

You're good at this.

你很擅長這個。

Okay?

好嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

It's such a mind blowingly simple thing.

就是這麼一件讓人匪夷所思的簡單事情。

And when I really started to think about it all of my worst relationships, I felt bad.

而當我真正開始思考我所有最糟糕的關係時，我覺得很糟糕。

In the beginning, I felt anxious, not good enough, judged, criticized.

剛開始的時候，我覺得很焦慮，覺得自己不夠好，被評價，被責備。

But I was so enticed and blinded by all the shining qualities of this person and the idea of them.

但我卻被這個人所有的閃光品質和他們的想法所吸引和矇蔽。

And then I projected all of my hopes on to them that I just totally ignored my feelings.

然後我把所有的希望都投射到他們身上，我就完全忽略了自己的感受。

Simple, right?

簡單吧？

But how often do we consciously ask ourselves that when it comes to dating were so concerned with the other person?

但是，我們有多少次有意識地問自己，當它涉及到約會是如此關注對方？

Do they like me?

他們喜歡我嗎？

Who are they?

他們是誰？

Are they compatible with my life or our values aligned that we don't even consider our feelings first?

是他們和我的生活兼容，還是我們的價值觀一致，以至於我們根本不先考慮自己的感受？

Or at least I haven't.

或者至少我沒有。

But now I know I'm Anna Khanna.

但現在我知道我是安娜・卡納。

Stay right here for a sponsored message from a gal who makes me feel in all of her talent.

留在這裡，從一個女孩誰讓我覺得在她的所有的人才贊助消息。

Bethany Rad Law.

Bethany Rad Law.

Thank you to better help for partnering with me for today's videos.

感謝更好的幫助與我合作今天的視頻。

As you guys know, I'm a huge advocate of therapy, and I started better help last month so I could continue attending therapy despite traveling all over the place for work.

你們知道，我是治療的忠實擁護者，上個月我開始了更好的幫助，這樣我就可以繼續參加治療，儘管因為工作而四處奔波。

It's been going really well.

它的進展非常順利。

In a recent session, my counselor told me to create a self care ritual that I could do every day in the evening, whether that's reading for half an hour, having a skin care routine or even just having a cup of tea and relaxing with my cats.

在最近的一次課程中，我的心理諮詢師告訴我，要建立一個每天晚上都可以做的自我護理儀式，無論是閱讀半小時，還是進行一次皮膚護理，甚至只是喝一杯茶，和貓咪一起放鬆。

Having a ritual in place is essential for decompressing and managing stress so better helps mission is to provide anyone facing life challenges with easy, discreet, professional, convenient and affordable access to professional counseling from a licensed therapist.

有一個儀式的地方是必不可少的減壓和管理壓力，所以更好的幫助使命是提供任何人面臨生活的挑戰，簡單，謹慎，專業，方便和負擔得起的訪問專業諮詢，從持牌治療師。

After filling out a brief questionnaire about your history and what you like to work on your matched with a therapist, scheduling is super easy and flexible, and you pay one low flat fee for unlimited counseling, which is awesome because traditionally one session with a therapist can sometimes cost of like $200.

在填寫關於你的歷史和你喜歡的工作與治療師匹配的簡短問卷後，調度是超級簡單和靈活，和你支付一個低的統一費用為無限的輔導，這是真棒，因為傳統上與治療師的一個會話有時可以花費像 200 美元。

You could go to better help dot com, so Chicana to sign up today.

你可以去更好的幫助點com，所以奇卡納今天註冊。

That's better.

這樣更好。

Help dot com slash chicana.

幫點網斜線奇卡納。