WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主持人STEPHEN COLBERT。

YOU KNOW, WHEN I SAW THE EVENTS AT THE CAPITOL LAST WEDNESDAY, I

你知道嗎，當我上週二在國會看到這些事件時，我...

WAS MORE UPSET THAN I CAN EVER REMEMBER.

比我記憶中更不安。

I THINK I SAID SO ON AIR, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE SAID TO ME

我想我在直播中也這麼說過，很多人也對我說過。

SENSE, WHAT ABOUT 9/11, STEPHEN?

感官，9/11怎麼了，史蒂芬？

WELL, YEAH, THAT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE DAY IN AMERICA'S

嗯，是的，這是美國最可怕的一天。

HISTORY, BUT I WANT TO POINT OUT NO AMERICANS WERE CHEERING TORE

歷史上，但我想指出，沒有美國人在歡呼撕毀

THE TERRORISTS BACK THEN, NO ONE WAS MAKING EXCUSES FOR THE

當時的恐怖份子，沒有人為他們開脫。

TERRORISTS, NO ONE WAS PRETENDING THEY WEREN'T

恐怖份子，沒有人假裝他們不是。

TERRITORIES.

領土：

AND NOW THAT WE'VE HAD TIME TO LEARN MORE AND SEE MORE OF WHAT

現在我們已經有時間瞭解更多，看到更多的東西。

HAPPENED ON THAT TERRIBLE DAY LAST WEEK, ALL I CAN THINK IS,

上週那可怕的一天發生了什麼事，我想的是：

OH, STEPHEN FROM LAST WEEK, YOU SWEET, NAIVE CHILD, HOW COULD

上週的史蒂芬，你這個可愛的、幼稚的孩子，怎麼能這樣呢？

YOU HAVE BEEN SO CALM?

你一直這麼冷靜？

BECAUSE THIS ATTACK WAS FAR WORSE THAN IT FIRST LOOKED.

因為這次的攻擊遠比它最初看起來更糟糕。

THE TERRORISTS WHO STORMED THE CAPITOL WEREN'T JUST A BUNCH

襲擊國會的恐怖分子並不只是一群人。

OFIA HOOSE FED A STEADY DIET OF LIES, FAKE JUICE AND MONSTER

奧菲亞-胡斯被餵了一頓穩定的謊言、假酒和怪獸的飲食。

ENERGY DRINK, THIS WAS A COORDINATED AND PLANNED ATTEMPT

能源飲料，這是一個協調和有計劃的嘗試。

TO TERRORIZE IF NOT KILL OUR NATION'S ELECTED LEADERS.

如果不殺我們國家的民選領導人，就進行恐怖活動。

AND THE PROMPTER JUST SAID, INSERT JOKE HERE.

和主持人剛剛說，插入笑話這裡。

CAN WE GET A JOKE IN HERE LATER?

我們可以得到一個笑話在這裡以後？

JUST PUT IT IN POST.

只是把它在郵政。

THANKS.

謝謝。

BECAUSE WE'RE LEARNING THOSE RIOTERS BROUGHT MORE THAN JUST

因為我們正在學習那些暴徒帶來的不僅僅是：

STUPID HATS AND PATCHY BEARDS.

愚蠢的帽子和補丁熊。

THE CHIEF OF THE CAPITOL POLICE, WHO HAS SINCE RESIGNED, WAS

已辭職的首都警署署長

SHOCKED BY WHAT HE SAW, TELLING THE "WASHINGTON POST:"

震驚於他所看到的，告訴 "華盛頓郵報："

"THEY CAME WITH RIOT HELMETS, GAS MASKS, SHIELDS, PEPPER

"他們帶著防暴頭盔、防毒面具、防護罩、胡椒粉來了。

SPRAY, FIREWORKS, CLIMBING GEAR.

噴霧器，火器，攀登裝備。

CLIMBING GEAR!

攀登裝備！

EXPLOSIVES, METAL PIPES, BASEBALL BATS."

爆炸物，金屬管，棒球棒。"

HOLY DICK'S SPORTING GOODS.

神奇的迪克運動用品。

MEANWHILE, AT THE GEORGE FLOYD PROTESTS, THEY WOULDN'T LET

同時，在喬治-弗勞德的抗議活動中，他們不會讓... ...

YOU BRING A HOAGIE BECAUSE IT MIGHT'VE MADE THE POLICE HANGRY.

你帶了一個捲餅，因為它可能會讓警察感到不安。

BUT WAIT, THERE'S WORSE!

等等，還有更糟糕的！

HERE'S A FOR-SOME-REASON UNDER-REPORTED DETAIL:

這裡有一個因為某些原因而被低估的細節。

PIPE BOMBS WERE FOUND AT BOTH THE D.N.C. AND R.N.C. BUILDINGS,

在D.N.C.和R.N.C.大樓都發現了管狀炸彈。

WHICH THE FORMER CAPITOL POLICE CHIEF NOW SUSPECTS WERE AN

前首都警察局長現在懷疑的是什麼人？

INTENTIONAL EFFORT TO DRAW OFFICERS AWAY FROM THE CAPITOL

有意將官員們從首都拉走的努力

PERIMETER.

周邊：

THAT'S SOME PROFESSIONAL-LEVEL INSURGENCY TACTICS, COMMITTED BY

這就是一些專業級的保險策略，由以下人員負責

HOMEGROWN TERRORISTS ON A JUGHEAD JIHAD.

在JUGHEAD JIHAD上的本土恐怖主義分子。

THEY'RE YEE-HAWDIS!

他們是YEE -HAWDIS！

TO UNDERSTAND THE HORROR THAT WAS PERPETRATED IN OUR CAPITOL

瞭解在我們的首都發生的恐怖事件

BUILDING, JUST LOOK AT GRAPHIC MOMENTS LIKE THESE, WHERE

建築，只是看看像這樣的圖形時刻，在哪裡？

RIOTERS NEARLY CRUSHED AN OFFICER TO DEATH IN A DOORWAY,

歹徒在門口差點將一名官員壓死。

AND GRABBED ANOTHER OFFICER, DRAGGED HIM DOWN THE STEPS, AND

並抓起另一名官員，拖著他走下臺階，並。

PROCEEDED TO BEAT HIM WITH POLES BEARING THE AMERICAN FLAG, WHILE

用印有美國國旗的柱子毆打他，同時：

CHANTING "USA!" SO IT'S HARD TO PIN DOWN WHAT

高呼 "美國！"所以，很難確定什麼是 "我"。

THESE IDIOTS BELIEVE IN.

這些白痴相信：

BLACK LIVES MATTER?

黑人生活很重要？

OH, NO.

哦，不。

BLUE LIVES MATTER?

藍色的生活很重要？

YES, BUT ONLY IF WE'RE NOT CURRENTLY TRYING TO MURDER THEM

是的，但前提是我們目前沒有試圖謀殺他們。

WITH THE STARS AND STRIPES.

與星條旗。

IT COULD'VE BEEN EVEN WORSE.

本來還可以更糟糕的。

ANOTHER TERRORIST WAS ARRESTED AFTER AUTHORITIES SEARCHED HIS

另一名恐怖分子在當局搜查他的住所後被逮捕。

CAR AND FOUND 11 MOLOTOV COCKTAILS.

車，發現了11個莫洛托夫雞尾巴。

IF YOU THINK IT'S WRONG TO CALL THESE PEOPLE TERRORISTS,

如果你認為稱這些人為恐怖份子是錯誤的，

CONSIDER THIS-- YOU'RE WRONG.

考慮到這一點 - 你錯了。

ACCORDING TO G.O.P. CONGRESSMAN PETER MEYER, SOME REPUBLICANS

據G.O.P.議員PETER MEYER稱，一些共和黨人。

"KNEW IN THEIR HEART OF HEARTS THAT THEY SHOULD'VE VOTED TO

"在他們的內心深處知道，他們應該投票給：

CERTIFY BIDEN'S WIN, BUT SOME HAD LEGITIMATE CONCERNS ABOUT

證明BIDEN的勝利，但一些人有合法的擔憂。

THE SAFETY OF THEIR FAMILIES."

他們家人的安全"。

THEY CAPITULATED TO ARMED, VIOLENT EXTREMISTS.

他們向武裝暴力的極端分子投降。

THAT'S THE G.O.P.'S NEW MOTTO: "WE DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH

這就是G.O.P.的新口號："我們不與之談判"。

TERRORISTS-- WE JUST GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT."

恐怖分子... ... 我們只是給他們他們想要的東西。"

NO SURPRISE, THE PEOPLE WHO SURVIVED THIS VIOLENT ATTACK ARE

毫不奇怪，在這次暴力襲擊中倖存下來的人都是

A LITTLE CRANKY.

有一點皺巴巴的。

THIS MORNING, HOUSE DEMOCRATS FORMALLY INTRODUCED AN ARTICLE

今天上午，眾議院民主黨人正式推出了一項條款，即

OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST THE PRESIDENT.

對主席的不公正待遇。

SO IT'S TIME FOR OUR HOPED-I'D-NEVER-SEE-SEQUEL:

所以，現在是我們的時間 希望我永遠不會看到的續集。

"DON AND THE GIANT IMPEACH 2: GO FAST, WE'RE FURIOUS."

"DON和巨人IMPEACH 2： 快走，我們很憤怒。"

>> YOU KNEW DAMN WELL I WAS A SNAKE BEFORE YOU TOOK ME IN!

>> 在你收留我之前，你就知道我是一條蛇！

( GROWLING ) >> STEPHEN: NOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE

現在，有些人已經開始了

SAYING, "WHY BOTHER?

說："何必呢？

HE'S ONLY GOT NINE DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE."

"他只有九天的任期"

TO THEM I REPLY, "HE'S GOT NINE DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE!"

我回答他們，"他還有九天的任期！"

YOU CAN DO A LOT IN NINE DAYS.

你可以在九天內做很多事情。

IT'S ENOUGH TO CREATE THE UNIVERSE, AND THEN TAKE A

創造了宇宙，然後再來一次。

THREE-DAY WEEKEND.

三天的週末。

FOR PETE'S SAKE, SIX DAYS AGO, THE PRESIDENT HADN'T INSPIRED

看在佩特的份上，六天前，總統還沒有激勵過他

MURDER IN THE CAPITOL.

首都謀殺案：

MIGHT'VE BEEN HANDY TO HAVE IMPEACHED HIM WAY BACK THEN!

如果當時能教訓他，也許會很方便！

BUT IMPEACHMENT DOES TAKE TIME.

但執行需要時間。

TIME DEMOCRACY MAY NOT HAVE.

民主黨可能沒有的時間。

WHICH IS WHY HOUSE DEMOCRATS INTRODUCED A RESOLUTION TODAY

這就是為什麼眾議院民主黨人今天提出了一項決議案

THAT CALLS ON MIKE PENCE TO REMOVE THE PRESIDENT UNDER THE

呼籲邁克-彭斯根據《聯合國憲章》的規定罷免主席的職務

25TH AMENDMENT.

第25條修正案：

DEMOCRATS AND MIKE PENCE MIGHT MAKE STRANGE BEDFELLOWS, BUT AS

民主黨人和邁克-彭斯可能會成為奇怪的床伴，但作為一個民主黨人，他們的生活方式也會發生變化。

LONG AS MOTHER'S IN THE ROOM, IT'S TECHNICALLY ALLOWED.

只要母親在房間裡，這在技術上是允許的。

IT'S KOSHER.

這是KOSHER。

I MEAN, IT'S NOT KOSHER, BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.

我的意思是，這不是KOSHER，但你明白的想法。

SO FAR, PENCE APPEARS TO HAVE LITTLE APPETITE FOR GOING

到目前為止，彭斯似乎沒有什麼胃口去了。

FORWARD WITH THAT.

前進與。

OKAY, HOW DO WE INCREASE HIS APPETITE?

好吧，我們如何增加他的胃口？

HAVE THEY TRIED SLATHERING THE 25TH AMENDMENT WITH MAYO, AND

他們有沒有試過用馬約來填補第25條修正案的空白？

SLAPPING IT BETWEEN TWO SLICES OF WONDERBREAD?

把它夾在兩片黃油麵包中間？

YOU'D THINK PENCE WOULD BE MORE INTO THE IDEA, CONSIDERING WHAT

你認為彭斯會更喜歡這個想法，考慮到... ...

THE RIOTERS WERE CHANTING: >> HANG MIKE PENCE!

騷亂者高呼："吊死邁克-彭斯！

>> HANG MIKE PENCE!

>> 懸掛邁克-彭斯！

>> HANG MIKE PENCE!

>> 懸掛邁克-彭斯！

>> HANG MIKE PENCE!

>> 懸掛邁克-彭斯！

>> STEPHEN: WHAT PART OF "HANG MIKE PENCE" DOES MIKE

>> "HANG MIKE PENCE "中的哪一部分？

PENCE NOT UNDERSTAND?

彭斯不明白？

IT'S HIS NAME AND ONE VERB!

這是他的名字和一個動詞！

EITHER MIKE PENCE IS UNBELIEVABLY FORGIVING OR HE

要麼是邁克-彭斯難以置信的寬容，要麼是他的寬容

JUST GETS OFF ON EROTIC ASPHYXIATION.

剛開始的時候是在腐蝕窒息。

EITHER WAY, HE'S LIVING UP TO THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF NATHAN

不管是哪種方式，他都不辜負NATHAN的不朽名言。

HALE: "I REGRET I HAVE BUT ONE LIFE TO

"我很遺憾我只有一個生命，我的生命是什麼？

GIVE FOR THE PRESIDENT WHO WANTS HIS FOLLOWERS TO MURDER ME."

為那些想讓他的追隨者謀殺我的總統獻禮。"

BY THE WAY, CROWD, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HANG MIKE PENCE, YOU'VE

順便說一句，眾人，如果你要吊死邁克-彭斯，你就得吊死他

GOT TO CATCH HIM FIRST!

必須先抓住他！

BUT THE VEEP HASN'T ENTIRELY RULED OUT INVOKING THE 25TH.

但VEEP還沒有完全排除25日的邀請。

REPORTEDLY, PENCE WANTS TO PRESERVE THE OPTION IN CASE THE

據報道，彭斯希望保留這一選擇，以避免在

PRESIDENT BECOMES MORE UNSTABLE.

主席變得更加不穩定。

"MORE UNSTABLE?" REALLY?

"更不穩定？"真的嗎？

"UH, MR. DAHMER, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH YOUR FREEZER, AND WE ARE

"呃，達默先生，我們已經通過了你的冰櫃，我們是...

DISTURBED BY WHAT WE FOUND.

被我們發現的東西打擾了。

I'M LETTING YOU OFF WITH A WARNING THIS TIME, BUT IF WE SEE

我這次是警告你，但如果我們看到了

ANY SIGNS THAT YOU'RE FEELING SNACKY, THERE WILL BE

如果有任何跡象表明你感覺很疲憊，就會有。

SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.

嚴重後果：

ANYWAY, SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR DINNER."

總之，很抱歉打擾了你們的晚餐。"

PENCE ISN'T THE ONLY REPUBLICAN LOOKING TO GIVE THE PRESIDENT A

彭斯並不是唯一一個希望給總統一個機會的共和黨人。

PASS.

PASS.

SO IS HOUSE MINORITY LEADER AND MAN POINTING TO WHERE HIS BALLS

所以，眾議院少數派領袖和男子指出他的球在哪裡。

USED TO BE, KEVIN MCCARTHY.

曾經是，KEVIN MCCARTHY。

ON FRIDAY, MCCARTHY ARGUED, "IMPEACHING THE PRESIDENT WITH

週五，麥卡錫聲稱："用'大國重器'來指責主席。

JUST 12 DAYS LEFT IN HIS TERM WILL ONLY DIVIDE OUR COUNTRY

他的任期只剩下12天，只會使我們的國家分裂。

MORE."

更多。"

WELL, MAYBE OUR COUNTRY NEEDS TO BE DIVIDED.

好吧，也許我們的國家需要被分割。

BY PRISON GLASS.

通過監獄玻璃。

WE CAN STILL TALK, KEVIN, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO PICK UP

我們可以繼續談，凱文，但你要去拿起了。

THE LITTLE PHONE.

小電話。

WHAT KEV NEEDS TO REALIZE, IS THAT IF YOU FLIRT WITH FASCISM

凱夫需要認識到的是，如果你用法西斯主義的方式來發火

LONG ENOUGH, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'RE MARRIED WITH TWO

足夠長的時間，在你意識到之前，你已經和兩個人結婚了。

KIDS, ADOLF AND BENITO.

小孩，成人和貝尼託。

AND HEY, ALL YOU HAND-WRINGING HYPOCRITES: EVERYONE WANTS THE

嘿，你們這些手舞足蹈的偽君子：每個人都想得到的

UNITED STATES UNITED.

聯合王國

IT'S KIND OF OUR THING.

這是一種我們的事情。

YOU KNOW, ONE NATION, UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE.

你知道，一個國家，在上帝之下，獨立的。

BUT SPEAKING OF GOD, WHAT I LEARNED IN SUNDAY SCHOOL IS THAT

但說到上帝，我在週日學校學到的是：

IN ORDER FOR THERE TO BE RECONCILIATION, THERE MUST FIRST

為了實現再融合，首先必須要有

BE REPENTANCE.

是懺悔。

IT'S WHY YOU DON'T BEGIN CONFESSION WITH, "BLESS ME,

這就是為什麼你不以 "祝福我 "開始懺悔。

FATHER, I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG, ANTIFA COVETED MY NEIGHBOR'S

教父，我沒有做錯什麼，反恐怖組織侵犯了我鄰居的利益

WIFE."

妻子。"

WHO COULD BLAME HIM?

誰能怪他呢？

LOOK AT THE CAN ON HER.

看看她身上的罐子。

ANOTHER REPUBLICAN DEEP IN DENIAL IS MISSOURI SENATOR AND

密蘇里州參議員、另一位深陷否認的共和黨人。

MAN WITH RESTING JOKER FACE ROY BLUNT.

男子與休息的笑話臉ROY BLUNT。

YESTERDAY, BLUNT WAS ON THE NATION FACE, AND EXPLAINED WE

前天，布蘭特在國家的臉上，並解釋說，我們。

DON'T NEED TO IMPEACH THE PRESIDENT BECAUSE HE'S LEARNED

不需要指責總統，因為他已經學會了。

HIS LESSON.

他的教訓。

>> NOW, MY PERSONAL VIEW IS THAT THE PRESIDENT TOUCHED THE HOT

>> 現在，我個人的看法是主席觸及了熱點。

STOVE ON WEDNESDAY AND IS UNLIKELY TO TOUCH IT AGAIN.

爐子在週三，是不太可能再碰它。

>> STEPHEN: UNLIKELY!

>> 不太可能！

"I'M NOT GOING TO SAY THERE'S NO CHANCE THAT HE WILL USE A

"我不會說他不可能會使用一個......"。

PERSONAL ARMY OF PARAMILITARY TERRORISTS TO OVERTHROW

顛覆準軍事恐怖分子的私人軍隊。

THE GOVERNMENT.

政府：

BUT YOU KNOW, 60-40.

但你知道，60 -40。

LET'S ROLL THE DICE TOGETHER!

讓我們一起擲骰子吧!

COME ON, DADDY NEEDS A PANIC ROOM UNDER THE ROTUNDA!"

來吧，爸爸需要一個恐慌室 在ROTUNDA下面！"

SNAKE EYES!

蛇眼！

AND BY THE WAY, HE'S "UNLIKELY TO TOUCH THE HOT STOVE AGAIN?"

順便說一句，他 "不太可能再碰熱爐子了"？

THE PRESIDENT ISN'T EXACTLY FAMOUS FOR NOT TOUCHING THINGS

主席並不是以不碰東西而聞名的。

HE SHOULDN'T.

他不應該。

MAY I REMIND YOU, ROY BOY: THE POTUS DIDN'T JUST INCITE A

請允許我提醒你，ROY BOY：總統不只是挑起了一場

CROWD TO RIOT, THE PRESIDENT WAS DEEPLY INVOLVED IN THE PLANNING

人群暴動，總統深度參與策劃。

OF THE RALLY, SENDING MULTIPLE TWEETS ENCOURAGING HIS FOLLOWERS

的集會，發送多條推特鼓勵他的追隨者。

TO COME TO WASHINGTON ON JANUARY 6, AND PROMISING "BE THERE, WILL

將於1月6日來到華盛頓，並承諾 "到了那裡，就會"。

BE WILD!" HE DIDN'T TOUCH THE STOVE.

野性點！"他沒有碰爐子。

HE RENTED AN APARTMENT, BOUGHT A STOVE, INSTALLED IT, STUFFED IN

他租了一間公寓，買了一個爐子，安裝了它，塞進了。

SOME OILY RAGS, TURNED ON THE GAS, RIPPED OUT THE SMOKE ALARM,

一些油漬，打開煤氣，扯掉了煙霧警報器。

INVITED ALL HIS FRIENDS OVER, AND THREW IN A LIT MATCH,

邀請他所有的朋友過來，並扔在一個IT比賽。

SAYING, "TRUE PATRIOTS, TOUCH THAT STOVE!

說，"真正的愛國者，觸摸那個爐子！

IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE HOME, WATCHING IT ALL ON TV WHILE I

如果你需要我，我就在家，一邊看電視，一邊...

PLEASURE MYSELF WITH A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER."

請給我一個雙份奶酪漢堡。"

HE HASN'T BEEN IMPEACHED YET, BUT THE PRESIDENT HAS SUFFERED

他還沒有被起訴，但主席已經受到了影響。

SOME CONSEQUENCES.

一些後果：

ON FRIDAY, CITING THE RISK OF HIM FOMENTING MORE VIOLENCE,

週五，以他有可能引發更多暴力事件為由，

"TWITTER BANNED THE PRESIDENT PERMANENTLY."

"微博永久禁止總統。"

OH, DAMN!

哦，該死的！

A LIFETIME TWITTER BAN HAS GOT TO STING.

終身的微博禁令一定要刺痛。

THEY TOOK AWAY HIS PRECIOUS!

他們搶走了他的寶貝！

ACCORDING TO A SENIOR ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL, WHEN HE

根據一名高級行政官員的說法，當他

FOUND OUT, "THE PRESIDENT WENT BALLISTIC."

發現，"總統去了球技。"

A TROUBLING DESCRIPTION OF THE GUY WHO STILL HAS THE NUCLEAR

一個仍然擁有核彈的傢伙的麻煩描述。

CODES.

CODES.

"HE BLEW UP!

"他流血了！

HE WENT TO DEF-CON 4.

他去了DEF-CON 4。

HIS ANGER DETONATED IN A FLASH OF WHITE LIGHT AND THEN

他的怒火在一抹白光中消散，然後... ...

MUSHROOMED OUT, DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH.

慕斯羅姆出來了，摧毀一切在我的路徑。

I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING IS THE FAT MAN ACTED LIKE A

我想我說的是胖子的行為像一個

LITTLE BOY."

小男孩。"

THEN THE PRESIDENT WENT INTO FULL WEASEL MODE.

然後，主席就進入了全副武裝模式。

FIRST, HE "TRIED TO TWEET FROM THE OFFICIAL @POTUS ACCOUNT,"

首先，他 "試圖從官方@POTUS賬戶發微博"

BUT "TWITTER SWIFTLY DELETED THOSE TWEETS," SO HE SLITHERED

但是，"微信巧妙地刪除了這些微博，"所以他SLSLERED。

OVER TO "THE OFFICIAL TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN

轉到 "特朗普競選的官方微博賬戶"。

BUT HIS CAMPAIGN'S TWITTER ACCOUNT WAS THEN SUSPENDED."

但他的競選活動的微博賬號卻被暫停了。"

NOW HE'S JUST GETTING KAYLEIGH MCENEANY TO WRITE HIS TWEETS ON

現在，他只是讓KAYLEIGH MCENEANY寫他的TWEETS ON

POSTER BOARD AND HOLD THEM OUT BY THE UNDERPASS.

海報板，並把它們拿出來的地下通道。

BUT TWITTER ISN'T THE ONLY SOCIAL MEDIA SITE THAT WANTS

但是，TWITTER並不是唯一一個想要的社交媒體網站。

NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR PRESIDENT.

與我們的總統無關。

HE'S ALSO BEEN BANNED OR RESTRICTED FROM A BEVY OF OTHER

他還被禁止或限制在其他的BEVY上。

PLATFORMS, INCLUDING FACEBOOK SNAPCHAT, INSTAGRAM, REDDIT, AND

平臺，包括FACEBOOK SNAPCHAT，INSTAGRAM，REDDIT，以及。

EVEN TWITCH.

甚至twitch。

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, PORNHUB?

你還在等什麼，PORNHUB？

THE PRESIDENT CAN'T EVEN TURN TO ALT-RIGHT CESSPOOLS, BECAUSE

主席甚至不能向右派CESSPOOLS求助，因為

"PARLER HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN AFTER AMAZON KICKED THE WEBSITE OFF

"PARLER被關閉了，因為AMAZON把網站踢掉了。

ITS SERVERS."

它的服務者。"

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT PARLER IS, FIRST OF ALL,

對於那些不知道PARLER是什麼的人，首先：

MUST BE NICE.

必須是好的。

SECOND, IT'S TWITTER, BUT ALL TROLLS.

第二，它的微博，但所有的金光黨。

IT'S LIKE A THANKSGIVING DINNER WHERE THE WHOLE TABLE IS RACIST

這就像一個感恩節的晚餐，其中所有的表是種族主義的。

UNCLES.

UNCLES：

IN ADDITION TO ITS WEBSITE BEING TAKEN DOWN, PARLER ALSO SUFFERED

除了網站被關閉外，PARLER還遭受了

A BLOW THE PREVIOUS DAY WHEN APPLE AND GOOGLE REMOVED THE

前一天，蘋果和谷歌刪除了一個打擊。

PARLER APP FROM THEIR APP STORES, WHICH LED TO A CERTAIN

PARLER APP從他們的APP STORES，這導致了一個特定的。

CHIP OFF THE OL' TURD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT A LEFT-WING

切掉老黃瓜來抱怨左翼的人

CONSPIRACY.

陰謀：

>> DOES ANYONE THINK IT'S A TOTAL COINCIDENCE THAT LITERALLY

>> 有人認為這是一個完全的巧合，真的是

THE DAY THAT TWITTER BANS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

微博禁止美國總統的那一天。

PERMANENTLY FROM THEIR PLATFORM, THAT APPLE-- REALLY, IT'S NOT

從他們的平臺上永久地，那蘋果 -- 真的，它不是。

JUST THE APP STORE, BUT THAT APPLE WANTS TO BAN PARLER?

只是APP STORE，但蘋果要禁止PARLER？

>> STEPHEN: NO!

>> 不！

NO ONE THINKS THAT'S A COINCIDENCE!

沒有人認為這是一個巧合！

AFTER A MURDEROUS ATTEMPTED COUP EGGED ON BY THE PRESIDENT AND

試圖謀殺的夫婦被總統和總統夫人吃了鴿子之後，

HIS FOLLOWERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA, SOCIAL MEDIA SHUT THEM DOWN.

他的追隨者在社交媒體上， 社交媒體關閉他們。

IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE.

這不是一個巧合。

IT'S A CONSEQUENCE.

這是一個後果。

I KNOW IT'S HARD FOR YOU TO RECOGNIZE BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER

我知道這對你來說很困難，因為你從來沒有認識到。

FACED ONE BEFORE!

以前也有過這樣的經歷！

SO, AFTER BEING SHUT OUT OF EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA APP, THE

所以，在被所有的社交媒體APP拒之門外後，該公司的員工就開始了他們的工作。

PRESIDENT HAS NOW SUGGESTED BUILDING HIS OWN PLATFORM.

主席現在建議建立自己的平臺。

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

我不知道這是不是一個好主意。