You have You've lost a You've lost some weight around two ounces.

你有你已經失去了一個 你已經失去了一些重量約兩盎司。

Um, uh, I was gonna say about two ounces.

嗯，呃，我想說的是兩盎司。

Yeah.

是啊。

No, I stopped drinking, and I just kinda put the weight off.

不，我不喝酒了，我只是有點把體重減輕了。

Really?

真的嗎？

So you stopped drinking.

所以你不喝酒了。

And the way just because they say that's Yeah, that could really make a huge difference.

就因為他們說了這句話，那就真的是大不一樣了。

Yeah, I was having, you know, by a lot of vodka with sausage, and, uh, was the sausage in the drink?

是的，我當時喝了很多伏特加加香腸 然後，呃，香腸在飲料裡嗎？

Oh, wow.

哦，哇。

Delicious, but bad for you.

好吃，但對你不好。

Bad for you.

對你不好

Uh, swizzle sausage.

呃，swizzle香腸。

I was getting in too much trouble with the drinking stuff, so I just kind of was there an incident that sort of Because everyone when if they stopped drinking, there's usually one thing that happens that makes them think.

我在喝酒的事情上遇到了太多的麻煩，所以我只是有點... ...是有一個事件，有點... ...因為每個人都當他們停止飲酒， 通常有一件事發生，讓他們認為。

Okay, now I gotta cut back.

好吧，現在我得削減。

This was about 20 things.

這大約是20件事。

Um, one night I was walking.

嗯，有一天晚上我在散步。

That's it.

就這樣吧

That's the story.

這就是故事。

You just were like, I've got to stop walking.

你只是想，我必須停止行走。

This walking thing is terrible.

這個走路的東西太可怕了。

Uh, I was walking through New York and I was walking over towards one of the bridges to walk home, and I was in the Lower East side, and I had gotten into the whisky that night, and I was listening to my headphones and this guy in a jag Jaguar jag wire bar.

呃，我走過紐約，我走過去 對一個橋樑走回家， 我是在下東區， 我已經得到了進入威士忌的那一夜， 我聽我的耳機 和這個傢伙在一個JAGA捷豹JAGA線吧。

How do you say Jaguar?

捷豹怎麼說？

Yeah, one of those cut me off when I was cutting crossing Ludlow Street.

是啊，其中一個人把我截住了，當時我正穿過Ludlow街。

Now, if it hadn't been a Chevy Lumina, I wouldn't have cared, Right?

如果不是雪佛蘭Lumina，我也不會在意，對吧？

But this is a jag and some fancy assholes in there, and yeah, And so as it cut me off, I hit the car as hard as I can with my hands.

但這是一個JAG和一些花哨的混蛋在那裡， 是啊，所以當它切斷我，我打車，因為我可以用我的手硬。

Just like bam.

就像咣噹一樣。

Hey, I was like, Man, Zach, your real cool on had some whiskey.

嘿，我當時想，夥計，扎克， 你真正的酷有一些威士忌。

I got my headphones on.

我戴上了耳機。

I just hit a jack.

我只是打了一個插孔。

Yeah, and I You know, I just keep walking and, uh, tap on my shoulder about 20 seconds later and I turn around and it's 26 ft six guys.

是的，我... ...我只是繼續走，然後，呃，拍拍我的肩膀... ...大約20秒後，我轉身，它是26英尺6個傢伙。

Oh, 12 by 12.

哦，12乘12。

And they were cute.

而且他們很可愛。

They were cute.

他們很可愛。

Anyway, there were two huge 6 ft six guys and I turn around, take my headphones off and they they both at the same time spit my face.

總之，有兩個巨大的6英尺6英寸的傢伙，我轉身，把我的耳機關閉，他們... ...他們都在同一時間吐我的臉。

You're kidding.

你在開玩笑吧

And I don't know if you've ever been spit in your face non sexually, but but all I remember is being so stunned.

我不知道你是否曾被人非性地吐過口水，但... ...我只記得我被嚇呆了。

And they walked away.

他們就走了。

I didn't really even say anything because I didn't know what to say.

我真的什麼都沒說，因為我不知道該說什麼。

Uhh!

呃！

And I remember reaching into a trashcan and grabbing a beer bottle and and saying to myself out loud, nobody spits And Zach Galifianakis face e through the beer bottle at the car and it missed on.

我記得我伸手到垃圾桶裡拿了個啤酒瓶，然後大聲對自己說："沒人可以吐口水，扎克-加利菲亞納基斯用啤酒瓶砸車，結果沒砸中。

That's my story.

這就是我的故事。

Yeah, unless you have said, nothing big happens.

是啊，除非你說過，沒有什麼大事發生。

But that's one of the reasons I decided to cut back.

但這也是我決定減少開支的原因之一。

Cut back.

削減。

Did the guys the guys didn't recognize?

難道那幾個人不認識？

They spit on you.

他們向你吐口水。

They obviously didn't recognize you.

他們顯然沒有認出你。

What about me now?

那我現在呢？

I was wearing a Nixon mask.

我當時戴著尼克松的面具。

I This story is changing a lot.

我這個故事變化很大。

No, I don't know.

不，我不知道。

They didn't recognize If they did recognize me, they probably would have done more than spit my face.

他們沒有認出 如果他們認出我，他們可能會做更多的事情，而不是吐我的臉。

Yeah, but I'm curious.

是的，但我很好奇。

Do you like, uh, you know, we've known you for a really long time, and we've seen you blow up to become this big star.

你喜歡，呃，你知道，我們已經認識你很久了，我們已經看到你炸開了成為這個大明星。

Do you like being famous and being recognized?

你喜歡出名和被認可嗎？

I don't.

我不知道

And I understand the irony of saying that on a talk show.

我也明白在脫口秀節目上說這些話的諷刺意味。

Um uh, but I I don't I don't I have.

嗯，呃，但我，我不，我不，我有。

I've had trouble.

我有麻煩了。

I'm kind of private, and I tryto if I see a pack of teenagers walking my way, forget it.

我是個很注重隱私的人，如果我看到一群青少年走在我的路上，我就會試著忘記它。

I will run.

我會跑。

You run the other way.

你跑到另一邊去。

I run the other way for sure.

我肯定要跑另一條路。

Yeah, its's a tricky thing.

是啊，這是一個棘手的事情。

The to be noticed.

的要注意。

Do you notice that there's a kind of like it's a certain kind of person that notices you mawr than never anybody wearing a doctor smoke.

你是否注意到，有一種像 它是一種特定的人 注意到你莫爾比從來沒有任何人 穿著醫生的煙霧。

It's always somebody like with a who farted T shirt.

總是有人喜歡穿著誰放屁的T恤。

Never a surgeon, never a surgeon.

從不做外科醫生，從不做外科醫生。