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  • You've got a job offer and now you have a choice negotiate or not.

  • If you decide not to, and your buddy who

  • got the same offer negotiates and gets a $7,000.00 increase.

  • By the end of 30 years, your buddy will be making $100,000.00 more a year than you.

  • [MUSIC]

  • Think about that.

  • [MUSIC]

  • My husband is a trained chef.

  • Do you know that chef's don't have recipes for all those sauces.

  • They know the structure of the sauce, and so regardless of

  • the ingredients that they have, they can make a great sauce.

  • And that's what I want for you.

  • I'm not going to give you a recipe for a particular negotiation.

  • Rather, what I want to do is give you the structure of

  • a negotiation, so that you can be successful, regardless of what you face.

  • I want to propose a new way of thinking about

  • negotiation, and what you're trying to achieve in that negotiation.

  • And, then what I want to do is give you four

  • steps to help you be more effective in getting what you want.

  • Folks typically see negotiation as an adversarial

  • process, and are uncomfortable because they're concerned that

  • other folks will think of them as too

  • demanding, too greedy, not nice, or socially awkward.

  • What I wanna do today is get you to

  • change the frame of how you think about negotiation.

  • Moving it from an adversarial process to one that is problem solving.

  • And, problem solving is collaborative.

  • I wanna solve our problem in a way that's good for

  • you, but also gives me more of what it is I want.

  • [MUSIC]

  • When we negotiate most of us view the goal of a negotiation as to get an agreement.

  • This is wrong.

  • The goal of a negotiation is not to get a deal.

  • The goal of a negotiation is to get a good deal.

  • We need to be able to separate what a good deal is from what a bad deal is.

  • So, that means we need at least 3 pieces of information.

  • The first thing we need to know is, what is our alternative?

  • What happens to us if this negotiation fails?

  • What are we left with?

  • What's the status quo, or what alternatives exist for us?

  • And, the research is very clear.

  • He or she with a better alternative does better.

  • Secondly, we need to know what our reservation price is.

  • What's the point at wich we are

  • indifferent between saying yes, and invoking our alternative.

  • And when you negotiate, it's critical that you

  • understand where that reservation price is, because that's

  • that point at which you are indifferent, where a no looks as good as a yes.

  • And the third point, which is really important, and

  • one that people often overlook, is that not only do

  • we have to think about our alternative, and our

  • reservation price, we also need to think about our aspiration.

  • What is an optimistic assessment of what it is we can achieve in this negotiation?

  • [MUSIC]

  • So how do you get more of what you want?

  • Let me suggest that four steps will help you.

  • The first step is to assess the situation.

  • Is this a situation where I can have influence on the outcome?

  • To change that outcome in a way that makes me better off?

  • And, I need to weigh the potential benefits

  • from negotiating with the potential costs for negotiating.

  • And, will the benefits outweigh the costs?

  • The second step is, I need to prepare.

  • And, they're really two aspects of this step.

  • Number one, I need to understand what my interests are.

  • What I'm really trying to achieve in this negotiation.

  • And, the second part is I need to

  • understand the interests and preferences of my counterpart.

  • Many of us may understand what our interests are, but few of us actually

  • understand at a deep level what the

  • preferences and interests are of our counterparts.

  • Third, now comes the ask.

  • Engage with your counterpart.

  • Look at these disputed, social situations as opportunities to negotiate.

  • You have information that your counterparts don't have.

  • And, this is what you bring to the table.

  • If they knew all your information, if

  • they knew your perspective, they don't need you.

  • Because you have unique information, and because they

  • have unique information, that's where the value is created.

  • Fourth, you need to package.

  • Now what do I mean by that?

  • Most of us when we negotiate, negotiate issue by issue.

  • This is a really bad strategy, because when

  • you negotiate issue by issue, every issue is adversarial.

  • You either win or lose.

  • When you're packaging issues you now have the opportunity to trade among the issues.

  • So, think about proposing solutions.

  • Alternative solutions to your counter part, in packages.

  • And, to help you out, because your counter part will probably

  • want to negotiate issue by issue, think about using if then language.

  • If I give you this, then I get that.

  • What you're doing is you're yoking various issues together into a package.

  • To get more of what you want there are four steps.

  • Assess, prepare, ask, package.

  • To give you an example, my dean recently sent me an email indicating that I

  • would have to be going from five courses a year to six courses a year.

  • Because he had received information from the Provost that we needed

  • to be consistent in the amount of contact hours, and course credit.

  • I was not happy about that email.

  • So, my response was, I think I need to talk to my dean.

  • Let's negotiate.

  • But, before I started a negotiation, I thought hard about, why was he doing this?

  • What was in his interest?

  • His interest was probably, to make sure the provost was happy.

  • What was my interest?

  • Not to move from five classes to six classes.

  • And it turns out I teach two different types of classes.

  • MBA electives, and then some specialty classes.

  • There are lots of folks who teach MBA electives.

  • There are very few folks who teach specialty classes.

  • So, I thought I should focus on the specialty classes.

  • So, then I went for the ask.

  • I set up a meeting, and part of that meeting was

  • to verify the information that I had gathered in my planning session.

  • And, it did turn out to be true.

  • He was interested in making the provost happy,

  • so then came the proposal that packaged our interests.

  • He said he wanted consistency between contact hours and credit.

  • So, what he did is he changed the credit to match the contact hours.

  • I suggested, why not change the contact hours to match the credit?

  • Because it turns out that in my courses,

  • in my specialty courses, we always went over.

  • So, while they were three hours, it was common that

  • we would go for 3 and a half to 4 hours.

  • So, let's make 'em 4 hour courses.

  • And, keep me at 5 rather than move me to 6.

  • He said to me, I never even thought of that, and why didn't he?

  • It wasn't that weird.

  • Because he didn't have the information that

  • I had, that my classes routinely ran over.

  • And, so when I gave him that information, it created a solution that made

  • him as well off as he was, and made me a whole lot better.

  • By the way, I was the only faculty member to get an exception.

  • And, why did I get an exception, because everybody else had the same email?

  • For two reasons.

  • One, I decided to negotiate.

  • And, number two, I provided him with a solution that made us both better off.

  • [MUSIC]

  • So, what are the unique opportunities and

  • challenges that women face when they negotiate?

  • Let's start off with an example that's pretty far

  • away from what most of us think about as negotiations.

  • In 2006, the U.S. Tennis Open's Grand Slam Tournament got some new technology.

  • And, for the first time, they were able to replay the calls.

  • And, so they allowed the players to challenge the calls of the referees.

  • Now it turns out, that over the course of the entire tournament,

  • about one third of the challenged calls were given to the player.

  • But, interestingly, if you divided up the number of challenges by gender,

  • it turns out the men challenged 73 calls, while the women challenged 28.

  • Now, we can come up with all sorts of

  • stories about why men's tennis is different from women's tennis.

  • Men's tennis is faster.

  • Maybe the judges make more mistakes.

  • Maybe the judges are paying more attention to the women.

  • Maybe.

  • But, three times difference in the number of challenges?

  • Women are simply uncomfortable with asking.

  • Expectations drive behavior.

  • If we expect to do poorly, we will behave in ways that ensure a poor performance.

  • This was demonstrated in a piece of research that I think is very telling.

  • When women were told that people who are like them negotiate poorly, they did

  • significantly worse in their negotiation performance than their male colleagues.

  • When they were told that people like them negotiate

  • well, they did significantly better than their male colleagues.

  • Expectations drive behavior.

  • If you change your expectations, you will change your outcomes.

  • As women, we need to be very cognizant of three aspects of negotiation.

  • Why am I asking?

  • How am I asking?

  • And, for whom am I asking?

  • Let's first talk about why you are asking.

  • It turns out that women are much more effective in

  • negotiations when they pair their competence with a communal orientation.

  • Women need to demonstrate their concern for the other.

  • So, how are my skills help you, the

  • organization, my employer, my team, to do better?

  • So, let me give you an example.

  • A colleague of mine had gotten a wonderful job offer from an east coast university.

  • So, she came to me and said, can you help me figure out how to leverage this offer?

  • I really don't wanna move.

  • I said, no problem.

  • [LAUGH] We can do this.

  • So, I said, make an appointment with the Dean, and take the offer with you.

  • Be very clear.

  • Dean, we have a problem.

  • I love Stanford, but I just received this offer, and it's an attractive offer.

  • I need some help.

  • Can you help me figure out how to stay here?

  • She wasn't making a demand.

  • She wasn't giving an ultimatum.

  • She was saying, can you help me?

  • Communal problem solving.

  • How are you asking?

  • Male evaluators penalize female negotiators in a single

  • issue distributive negotiation when I ask for more money.

  • In ways that they do not penalize her male counterparts.

  • Female evaluators penalize both males and females for asking for more.

  • Why the women were penalized?

  • Was because they were perceived as being too demanding and not nice.

  • Now note I said a single issue.

  • They were negotiating issue by issue.

  • So, how can I help you with this pool of resources that I need to do

  • my job more effectively to make you better off, and packaging?

  • Communal packaging.

  • Next, for whom are you asking?

  • It turns out, that if we distill the

  • research and negotiation, we have two big findings.

  • Number One.

  • You're better off negotiating for yourself if you're a man.

  • Number Two.

  • If you're negotiating for me, I am much better off if you are a woman.

  • Women outperform men in representational

  • negotiations between fourteen and twenty-three percent.

  • This is huge.

  • So, I use this all the time.

  • When I negotiate, I don't negotiate for myself.

  • I negotiate for my husband, my four dogs, my seven horses, and my fourteen chickens.

  • That's a lot of mouths to feed, and it works.

  • [MUSIC]

  • >> A client came to me asking for one of our

  • top consultants who was busy working on another project full time.

  • So, I wanted to staff it with a different consultant.

  • But, the consultant that the client wanted really wanted that project as well.

  • So, she came up with the idea, what if we hired a junior consultant to

  • work underneath her, and give her the opportunity

  • to work on both projects with that leverage.

  • It worked for the client, it made the

  • consultant really happy, and it really solved my problem.

  • >> Before coming to business school, for me, negotiation was about

  • preparing to beat a price, or aim for a higher number.

  • Now I realize that preparation, for a negotiation, is much more than that.

  • It's about identifying the issues that are important to me.

  • But also, the issues that are important

  • to the other parties that I'm interacting with.

  • And, I think that allows us to be

  • much more creative and actually solve the problem.

  • >> One of the most important things you can do in preparing for

  • your compensation negotiation, is do your research and find out your market value.

  • Sometime people will go to web sites and enter in their, current

  • field and title in order to find out what their salary range is.

  • But, I find that those websites aren't all

  • that accurate, and they often compile an average salary.

  • It's safe to assume that if you perform strongly

  • and you're asking for a raise, you're above average.

  • One of the other things that you can do is to survey a membership group

  • or an association, either online or offline, and