EVERYBODY.

每個人。

MY GUEST TONIGHT WAS THE VERY FIRST GUEST ON "THE LATE SHOW""

我今晚的嘉賓是 "晚間秀 "的第一位嘉賓"

OVER FIVE YEARS AGO.

五年多前。

HE'S AN ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTOR, PRODUCER, AND

他是一位獲得學院獎的演員、製片人和。

HUMANITARIAN, WHO DIRECTED AND STARRED IN HIS LATEST FILM "THE

人文學家，曾執導並主演其最新電影《THE》。

MIDNIGHT SKY."

午夜的天空。"

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," THE ONE, THE ONLY,

歡迎回到 "深夜秀"，唯一的，唯一的。

MR. GEORGE CLOONEY.

MR. GEORGE CLOONEY.GEORGE CLOONEY.

HELLO, GEORGE, HOW ARE YOU?

你好，喬治，你好嗎？

>> HELLO, STEPHEN.

>> 你好，史蒂芬。

HOW ARE YOU, MAN?

你怎麼樣，夥計？

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

很高興見到你。

>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.

>> Stephen:也很高興見到你。

NOW, WE'RE CATCHING YOU IN THE U.K., RIGHT?

現在，我們要在英國抓到你，對吧？

>> I AM IN THE U.K.

>> 我在英國

I CAME HERE BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A DRIVE-IN

我之所以來這裡是因為我們要去開個車。

PREMIERE FOR THE MOVIE.

電影的首映。

>> Stephen: YES.

>> Stephen:是的。

>> AND I LANDED, AND THEY CAME OUT AND SAID, "WE'VE JUST GONE

>> 我落地後，他們出來說："我們剛剛走了。

TO TIER 3.

至第3層：

YOU HAVE TO QUARANTINE FOR TWO WEEKS IN YOUR HOUSE."

你必須在家裡隔離兩個星期。"

SO I GOT HERE, I'M GOING TO BE HERE FOR TWO WEEKS IN THE HOUSE,

所以我到了這裡，我要在這裡呆上兩個星期，在房子裡。

NOT ABLE-- I CAN'T WALK ANYWHERE, CAN'T DO ANYTHING, NO

不能夠 - 我不能走在任何地方，不能做任何事情，沒有。

PREMIERE.

首選：

SO I'M JUST HERE.

所以，我只是在這裡。

>> Stephen: I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

>> Stephen:我很抱歉聽到這個消息。

BUT IS THERE-- IS YOUR LOVELY WIFE, AMAL, WITH YOU?

但你親愛的妻子AMAL和你在一起嗎？

>> YES, AND THAT MAKES IT ALL FINE.

>> 是的，這使得一切都很好。

>> Stephen: RIGHT, I'M SURE IT'S A LOVELY HOUSE, TOO, SO...

>> Stephen:是的，我肯定這是一個可愛的房子，所以... ...

>> PERFECTLY LOVELY HOUSE.

>> 完美可愛的房子。

AND, YOU KNOW, AND WE BROUGHT THE KIDS, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS A

而且，你知道，我們把孩子們送來了，我認為這是一個。

GOOD IDEA.

好主意。

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> Stephen: SURE.

ALWAYS GOOD.

總是好的。

THREE, THREE YEARS OLD?

三歲，三歲？

>> RIGHT.

>> 右邊。

>> Stephen: NOT QUITE FREE RANGE YET.

>> Stephen:還沒有完全自由的範圍。

>> NO, THEY CAN'T FEED THEMSELVES.

>> 不，他們不能自食其力。

AND, APPARENTLY, WHAT I'M FINDING OUT, IS THAT AT SOME

而且，顯然，我發現了什麼，是在一些

POINT, I HAVE TO EDUCATE THEM, WHICH...

重點，我必須教育他們，這... ...

>> Stephen: HMMM... THAT DOESN'T-- THAT DOESN'T ALWAYS

>> 斯蒂芬: HMMM...這並不... ... 這並不總是。

WORK OUT, THOUGH.

工作了，想。

THEY GET ALL THOSE NEW IDEAS AND THEY SAY, "DAD, YOU'RE WRONG."

他們得到了所有這些新的想法，他們說，"爸爸，你錯了。"

TRUST ME, MY ARE ALL GROWN NOW, AND I EVIDENTLY DON'T KNOW

相信我，我的都長大了，我顯然不知道。

ANYTHING.

任何事情。

>> WELL, I REMEMBER-- I MET YOUR KIDS, AND THEY WERE-- YOU KNOW,

>> 我記得... 我見過你的孩子，他們... 你知道的。

THEY ALREADY HAD A LEG UP ON YOU ALREADY.

他們已經搶先你一步了。

>> Stephen: GEORGE, YOU-- IT'S SO NICE TOY SOO YOU AGAIN.

>> Stephen:喬治，你... ... 這是很好的玩具，所以你又來了。

I'VE WANTED TO HAVE YOU BACK FOR A LONG TIME.

我已經想讓你回來很久了。

FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO REPORTER COMPLETIST FOR "THE

對於外面的人誰報告員完成 "的"。

LATE SHOW," YOU WERE MY VERY FIRST GUEST ON SEPTEMBER 8, OR

"晚間秀"，你是我9月8日的第一個嘉賓，或者是

SOMETHING LIKE, IN 2005-- 20 15 OVER FIVE YEARS AGO AND WE HAVE

比如2005年... 20 15年過去了，5年了，而我們已經

A CLIP OF US SAYING GOOD-BYE.

我們說再見的剪輯。

GEORGE, I WANT TO SIN SERIOUSLY THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST

喬治，我想認真地感謝你是我的第一個。

GUEST.

嘉賓：

THAT'S ONE DOWN, AND PLEASE COME BACK MANY, MANY TIMES.

這是一個下降，並請回來 很多，很多倍。

>> CONGRATULATIONS.

>> 恭喜你。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> Stephen:謝謝你非常多。

FIRST OF ALL, NEITHER OF US HAS AGED A DAY.

首先，我們倆都沒有老過一天。

>> NO, NOT AT ALL.

>> 不，一點也不。

WE LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME!

我們看起來一模一樣！

>> Stephen: SECOND OF ALL, YOU SAID YOU WOULD COME BACK

>> 第二，你說過你會回來的。

FREQUENTLY.

經常。

IT IS FIVE YEARS AND THREE MONTHS SINCE YOU WERE HERE.

你來這裡已經5年零3個月了。

THIS IS FREQUENT TO GEORGE CLOONEY?

這是經常給喬治-克魯尼的？

YOU HAVE BEEN ON "KIMMEL" NINE TIMES SINCE YOU WERE ON MY SHOW.

你上過九次 "KIMMEL"，自從你上過我的節目之後。

>> HE LIVES IN L.A., MAN.

>> 他住在洛杉磯，男人。

>> Stephen: HEY, THAT EXCUSE DOESN'T MEAN ( BLEEP ) ANYMORE!

>> Stephen:嘿，這個藉口並不意味著（嗶嗶）更多!

WE HAVE ZOOM, BABY.

我們有ZOOM，寶貝。

I WANT YOU ONCE A WEEK UNTIL YOU MAKE UP THE LOST TIME.

我每週要你一次，直到你把失去的時間補回來。

>> ZOOM, I'LL DO IT EVERY WEEK.

>> ZOOM，我會做每一個星期。

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO.

我無事可做。

I'M HERE WITH TWO KIDS.

我在這裡與兩個孩子。

>> Stephen: STUCK IN THE HOUSE.

>> 困在房子裡。

>> EXACTLY.

>> 正是如此。

NONE STOP.

沒有停止。

CAN'T TALK TO THE KID.

不能跟孩子說話。

>> Stephen: SO WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THE LASTIFY YEARS?

>> 史蒂芬：最近幾年你都在做什麼？

WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?

發生了什麼事？

>> NOTHING.

>> 什麼都沒有。

WATCHING OUR COUNTRY GO TO ( BLEEP ).

看著我們的國家去（BLEEP）。

LET'S SEE, WHAT ELSE.

讓我們看看，還有什麼。

NO, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.

不，這是非常多的。

>> Stephen: THAT DOES GRAB THE FOCUS BY THE-- BY THE SHORT

>> 史蒂芬: 這確實是抓住了焦點的--------------------------------短

HAIRS.

HAIRS。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

BY THE SHORT HAIRS IS EXACTLY-- YOU KNOW, IT'S-- YOU KNOW, WHEN

恰恰是... 你知道，這是... 你知道，什麼時候？

YOU GET TO THE POINT WHERE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD IS

你到了自由世界的領袖所在的位置上

CALLING THE PRESS "THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE," YOU KNOW, IT STARTS

稱新聞界為 "人民的敵人"，你知道的，它開始了

TO CAUSE CONCERN.

引起關注。

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> AND SO THAT'S BEEN A-- I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE NEXT KNOW--

>> 所以這是一個 -- 我很期待下一個知道 --

THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.

未來四年，

>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN'S EXCITEMENT.

>> Stephen:讓我們來談談你孩子的興奮點。

THEY'RE THREE YEARS OLD.

他們已經三歲了。

HOW EXCITED ARE THEY FOR CHRISTMAS?

他們對聖誕節有多興奮？

BECAUSE THAT'S JUST WHEN THEY'RE BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND THE

因為這正是他們開始理解的時候。

CONCEPT OF GIFTS.

禮物的概念。

>> AND SANTA CLAUS, YEAH.

>> 還有聖誕老人，是的。

>> Stephen: AND HAVE THEY WRITTEN LET LETTERS TO SANTA CLA

>> Stephen:他們有沒有給聖克拉寫過信？

HAVE THEY COMMUNICATED WHAT THEY WANT TO SANTA?

他們有沒有向聖誕老人傳達他們想要的東西？

BECAUSE I HAVE-- I'LL TALK TO THEM IF THEY NEED ME TO.

因為我有... 如果他們需要我，我會跟他們說的。

>> WOULD DO YOU THAT FOR ME?

>> 你會為我做什麼？

THANKS.

謝謝。

LOOK, I'VE GOT PROBLEMS ALREADY, WHICH IS I'M DESPERATELY TRYING

聽著，我已經有問題了，這是我拼命想解決的問題。

TO NOT MAKE THEM LITTLE BRITS, RIGHT.

不要讓他們成為小英國人，對吧。

AND SO IT'S NOT A JUMPER, IT'S A SWEATER.

所以，這不是一個跳線，這是一個出汗。

IT'S NOT "THE BOOT" IT'S THE TRUNK.

這不是 "靴子"，而是車箱。

IT'S NOT "THE PAVEMENT."

這不是 "鋪路"。

IT'S THE SIDEWALK.

這是在人行道上。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU.

>> Stephen:謝謝你。

THAT'S WHAT MEN FOUGHT AND DIED AT LEXINGTON AND CONCORD TO

這就是男人們在萊辛頓和康科德的戰鬥和死亡的原因。

PREVENT.

預防：

>> DO THEY CELEBRATE THE FOURTH OF JULY IN LONDON?

>> 他們在倫敦慶祝7月4日嗎？

THEY DO NOT.

他們沒有。

>> Stephen: OR THANKSGIVING.

>> Stephen:或感恩節。

>> WELL, THERE'S A WHOLE OTHER PROBLEM.

>> 好吧，這又是另一個問題了。

BUT I-- YOU KNOW, YES, MY CHILDREN-- I DID-- I HAVE DONE

但我... 你知道，是的，我的孩子們... 我做了... ...

EVERYTHING TO-- TO-- TO TRY TO CHANGE THEIR-- THEIR VERSION OF

不惜一切代價... ... 試圖改變他們的... ...

SPEAKING WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT.

說話有英語口音。

SO THEY WERE WRITING OUT THEIR NOTE TO SANTA.

所以他們寫出了給聖誕老人的說明。

AND I SAID, "OKAY, WRITE YOUR NOTE."

我說，"好吧，寫你的筆記。"

AND I SAID, "AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE COOKIES AND MILK.

我說，"然後我們要離開 餅乾和牛奶。

GOING TO LEAVE IT RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE FIREPLACE."

要把它留在火爐下面。"

AND MY SON GOES, NO, IT'S MILK AND MINCE PIE."

和我的兒子去，不，這是牛奶和肉餡餅。"

>> Stephen: OH, NO, OH, NO.

>> Stephen:哦，不，哦，不。

>> A BRIDGE TOO FAR.

>> 一座太遠的橋。

>> Stephen: EXPLAIN TO THEM.

>> Stephen:向他們解釋。

YOU WANT SANTA TO COME, NOT FATHER CHRISTMAS.

你想聖誕老人來，而不是父親的聖誕節。

>> EXACTLY.

>> 正是如此。

>> Stephen: FATHER CHRISTMAS-- SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY, SEEMS

>> Stephen:聖誕老人 -- 看起來是個好人，看起來...

LIKE A NICE GUY.

像一個好人。

NOT THE SAME GUY.

不是同一個人。

>> AND I'LL TELL YOU THIS, THOUGH, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, AT

>> 我會告訴你這個，因為，你知道，在...

THREE YEARS OLD, YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO KEEP YOUR KIDS IN

三歲，你只是想讓你的孩子留在這裡

LINE, IN GENERAL.

線，一般來說。

>> Stephen: SURE BECAUSE PEOPLE-- PEOPLE WHO SAY TERRIBLE

>> Stephen: SURE BECAUSE PEOPLE -- PEOPLE WHO WHO SAYER TERRIBLE

TWOs HAVE NEVER HAD A THREE-YEAR-OLD.

兩人從來沒有過一個三歲的孩子。

BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST AS TERRIBLE BUT THEY'RE STRONGER NOW.

因為他們也一樣可怕，但他們現在更強大了。

>> THEY CAN LIFT YOU.

>> 他們可以提升你。

AND I'VE GOT TWO OF THEM, YOU KNOW,.

我有兩個人，你知道的，

>> Stephen: SMALL-- SMALL BUT RELENTLESS.

>> 斯蒂芬: 小--小但無情。

>> THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE TERMINATORS.

>> 他們就像小終結者。

SO I HAVE DEVISED A WAY TO GET THEM TO BEHAVE.

所以我想出了一個讓他們乖乖聽話的方法。

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> Stephen:好的

>> DURING THIS TIME -- >> Stephen: LET ME WRITE THIS

>> 在這段時間裡 -- >> Stephen:讓我寫這個

DOWN.

下。

>> IT MAY NOT WORK WITH YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY'RE A

>> 它可能對你的孩子不起作用，因為他們是一個。

LITTLE OLDER AND THEY MIGHT UNDERSTAND THIS.

稍微大一點，他們可能會明白這一點。

WHEN THEY'RE ASLEEP IN THE MORNING, AND THEN I CAN HEAR

當他們早上睡覺的時候，然後我就能聽到

THEM STARTING-- THEY SLEEP IN THE SAME BEDROOM.

他們開始 - 他們睡在同一個臥室。

THEY START TO MAKE NOISES IS AND IT GETS REALLY-- THEY'RE

他們開始製造噪音是，它得到了真正的--他們是。

FIGHTING.

打架。

YOU CAN HEAR THE TWO OF THEM GET AT EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING.

你可以聽到他們兩個互相攻擊或什麼的。

AND I STAND OUTSIDE THE DOOR AND I GO, I GO, "OH, HEY, HI,

我站在門外，我走了，我走了，"哦，嘿，嗨。

SANTA!" AND THEN, YOU KNOW, YOU HEAR

"聖誕老人！"然後，你知道，你聽到了

SANTA IS THERE.

聖誕老人在那裡。

"HO, HO, HO."

"何，何，何。"

SAY SAY, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SANTA?"

說，"你在這裡做什麼聖誕老人？"

AND HE SAYS,"I'M MAKING SURE THE KIDS ARE BEING GOOD KIDS"

他說："我要確保孩子們都是好孩子。"

AND YOU CAN HEAR THEM GO, "WE ARE, SANTA!

你可以聽到他們走，"我們是，聖誕老人！

WE ARE!" AND SANTA IS LIKE OKAY!"

我們是！"和聖誕老人是喜歡OKAY！"

AND HE LEAVES AND THEY COME OUT AND THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLY WELL

他走了，他們出來，他們很好，令人難以置信。

BEHAVED.

BEHAVED。

>> Stephen: WOW, THAT IS AMAZING.

>> Stephen:哇，這是一個驚人的。

NOW, I'M GUESSING THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IMPRESSION OF SANTA

現在，我想這是一個非常好的印象的聖誕老人。

YOU JUST DID, BECAUSE, OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY, YOU WERE

你只是做了，因為，很明顯，很明顯，你是。

THERE PHYSICALLY WITH SANTA RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

就在門外與聖誕老人一起。

AND YOU-- >> YEAH.

而你 -- >> 是的。

AND, BY THE WAY, THAT WORKED WITH YOUR-- IT CAN WORK ON YOUR

而且，順便說一句，這對你的... ... 它可以對你的工作。

PARENTS AS WELL, WHICH IS A...

父母也是，這是一個... ...

>> Stephen: AT A CERTAIN AGE.

>> Stephen:在某一年齡段：

AT A CERTAIN AGE.

在某一年齡段：

WOW, THAT'S LUCKY.

哇，那是幸運的。

>> YOU KNOW, YOU CAN -- >> Stephen: SO, JUST HAVE

>> You know, you can -- >> Stephen: So, just have

SANTA-- ALL IT TAKES TO HAVE WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN IS

SANTA -- 所有它需要有 良好的乖巧的孩子，是

ACTUALLY HAVE SANTA COME TO YOUR HOUSE, GOOD.

其實有聖誕老人來你家，好。

>> I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE EASTER BUNNY, BECAUSE I'M NOT QUITE

>> 我擔心復活節兔子的事，因為我還沒到那個程度。

SURE WHAT HE SOUNDS LIKE.

確定他聽起來像什麼。

>> Stephen: GEORGE, WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK

>> Stephen:喬治，我們要休息一下，但要堅持下去。

AROUND EVERYBODY WITH MORE GEORGE CLOONEY.

圍繞著每個人與更多的喬治・克魯尼。

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