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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

    >> Stephen:嘿,大家好!

  • WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

    歡迎來到 "晚間秀"。

  • I AM YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

    我是你的主播史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

  • YOU MAY NOTICE THAT I'M NOT WHERE I NORMALLY AM... WHEN I'M

    你可能會注意到我不在平常的地方... ...當我

  • NORMALLY NOT AT THE OTHER PLACE... WHERE I NORMALLY AM.

    通常不在其他地方... ...在那裡我通常是。

  • I'M TWICE-REMOVED FROM NORMAL.

    我已經兩次從正常狀態中消失了。

  • OTHERWISE KNOWN AS DELAWARE.

    另稱 "德拉瓦"。

  • IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT DELAWARE, I'LL GIVE YOU A QUICK

    如果你對德拉瓦州不瞭解,我會給你一個簡單的。

  • A LESSON IN OUR ONE-TIME SEGMENT, "BETTER KNOW A

    在我們的一次性課程中,"更好地瞭解一個人 "是一個教訓。

  • DELAWARE: RAISING YOUR DELAWARENESS."

    德拉瓦:提高你的警惕性"。

  • FUN FACT: PEOPLE FROM DELAWARE ARE OFTEN REFERRED TO AS "BLUE

    趣聞:來自德拉瓦州的人經常被稱為 "藍色"。

  • HENS," WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE THE STATE BIRD IS ACTUALLY A

    母雞",這是奇怪的,因為國家鳥實際上是一個。

  • HIGHWAY REST STOP.

    高速公路休息站。

  • AND THAT'S ABOUT IT.

    就這樣了

  • SO NOW YOU KNOW DELA-WHERE, BUT YOU MIGHT BE ASKING, "DELA-WHY?"

    所以現在你知道DELA-Where,但你可能會問,"DELA-Why?"

  • I'M HERE TO DO THE FIRST POST-ELECTION JOINT INTERVIEW

    我在這裡做選舉後的第一次聯合採訪。

  • WITH PRESIDENT-ELECT JOSEPH R.

    與候任主席JOSEPH R.L.合作。

  • BIDEN AND THE NEXT FIRST LADY, DR.

    BIDEN和下一任第一夫人,博士。

  • JILL BIDEN.

    JILL BIDEN.

  • PLUS, WHO PASSES UP A TRIP TO WILMINGTON?

    另外,誰會錯過去威爾明頓的旅行?

  • THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL THIS TOWN "THRILLMINGTON."

    這座城市被稱為 "泰勒明頓 "是有原因的。

  • AND I'M BEING TOLD THEY DO NOT CALL IT THAT.

    我被告知,他們不叫它。

  • THAT INTERVIEW IS MOMENTS AWAY, BUT FIRST:

    那次採訪還差一點,但第一。

  • THERE'S GOOD PANDEMIC NEWS!

    有好的PANDEMIC新聞!

  • PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY HAVE STARTED GETTING THE PFIZER

    全國各地的人們已經開始獲得PFIZER。

  • VACCINE, AND THIS WEEK, HOSPITALS DISCOVERED A SURPRISE

    疫苗,而本週,醫院發現了一個驚喜。

  • IN THEIR VACCINE DELIVERIES: EXTRA DOSES.

    在他們的疫苗運送中:額外劑量。

  • THE VACCINE STRETCHES FURTHER THAN WE THOUGHT!

    疫苗比我們想象的更遠!

  • IT'S A HANUKKAH MIRACLE!

    這是一個哈努卡奇蹟!

  • LET'S CELEBRATE BY EATING FRIED POTATOES, WHICH I BELIEVE

    讓我們通過吃炸洋芋來慶祝,我相信

  • AMERICANS DO EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR ANYWAY.

    美國人一年中的每一天都在做,反正。

  • HERE'S THE DEAL: PHARMACISTS HAVE FOUND THAT WHEN THEY USED

    這裡的交易:藥劑師們發現,當他們使用的是

  • GLASS VIALS THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO CONTAIN FIVE DOSES,

    原本應該含有五種劑量的玻璃杯。

  • SOMETIMES, THEY CAN SQUEEZE OUT AN ADDITIONAL DOSE.

    有時,他們可以擠出額外的劑量。

  • IT'S LIKE THAT FEELING WHEN YOU THINK YOU FINISHED THE FRENCH

    就像那種感覺,當你認為你完成了法國人。

  • FRIES, THEN YOU GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG, AND YOU FIND

    薯條,然後你到了袋子的底部,你會發現

  • THOSE LITTLE EXTRA CRUNCHY BITS.

    這些小的額外的脆脆的東西。

  • BUT IMAGINE IF THOSE FRENCH FRIES PREVENTED DISEASE.

    但想象一下,如果這些薯條預防疾病。

  • AGAIN, WE EAT A LOT OF FRIED POTATOES IN AMERICA.

    再一次,我們吃了很多油炸洋芋在美國。

  • AND WE'RE GOING TO NEED THAT EXTRA VACCINE, BECAUSE THE WHITE

    我們將需要額外的疫苗,因為白種人... ...

  • HOUSE IS STICKING WITH ITS PANDEMIC PLAN OF "NOT HAVING A

    房屋堅持其 "不生孩子 "的計劃。

  • PLAN."

    計劃。"

  • YESTERDAY, WE LEARNED OF EMAILS FROM ONE OF THE PRESIDENT'S TOP

    今天,我們得知了總統的一個頭號人物的電子郵件。

  • HEALTH APPOINTEES, FORMER H.H.S.

    衛生部門任命的人員,前H.H.S.

  • SCIENCE ADVISOR PAUL ALEXANDER.

    科學顧問PAUL ALEXANDER.

  • NORMALLY, I WOULD SHOW A PICTURE OF HIM, AND DO A JOKE, BUT-- AND

    通常情況下,我都會給他看一張照片,然後開個玩笑,但是... ...

  • THIS IS TRUE-- WE COULD FIND NO IMAGE OF HIM ON THE INTERNET.

    這是真的 -- 我們在網上找不到他的照片。

  • HE MIGHT HAVE ERASED THEM ALL, AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT

    他可能已經把它們全部刪除了,而你將會發現

  • WHY.

    為什麼?

  • BECAUSE THIS SUMMER, ALEXANDER URGED TOP HEALTH OFFICIALS TO

    因為今年夏天,亞歷山大敦促頂級衛生官員,以

  • ADOPT A "HERD IMMUNITY" APPROACH TO COVID-19 AND ALLOW MILLIONS

    對COVID-19採取 "群體免疫 "辦法,並允許數百萬人参加。

  • OF AMERICANS TO BE INFECTED BY THE VIRUS, THEREBY CHANGING THE

    感染該病毒的美國人的數量,從而改變了美國人的生活方式。

  • DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES, TO THE DEPARTMENT OF

    衛生和人類服務部,向該部提交的報告。

  • HELL AND HUMAN SACRIFICE.

    地獄和人類的犧牲。

  • BECAUSE HERE'S THE THING ABOUT PAUL ALEXANDER'S STRATEGY.

    因為保羅-亞歷山大的策略是這樣的:

  • IT WOULD REQUIRE ALMOST THREE MILLION DEATHS TO REACH HERD

    這需要至少三百萬人的死亡才能達到群居的目的。

  • IMMUNITY.

    IMMUNITY:

  • IF YOUR PLAN TO SAVE HUMANITY INVOLVES KILLING MILLIONS OF

    如果你的拯救人類的計劃涉及到殺死數百萬的人

  • PEOPLE, YOU'RE NOT A HEALTH ADVISER, YOU'RE A MARVEL

    各位,你不是健康顧問,你是個神奇人物

  • VILLAIN.

    VILLAIN:

  • SO, CLEARLY, IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER THAT WE GET TO THE

    所以,很明顯,現在比以往任何時候都更重要的是,我們要找到

  • INAUGURATION OF ONE OF MY GUESTS TONIGHT, JOE BIDEN.

    今晚我的一位嘉賓喬-比登的就職典禮。

  • IN THE FACE OF THE COVID RAGING, THE PRESIDENT-ELECT IS ASKING

    面對科維德的咆哮,當選主席正在要求

  • AMERICANS TO STAY HOME.

    美國人呆在家裡。

  • IF ENOUGH PEOPLE DO THE RIGHT THING, HIS INAUGURATION COULD

    如果有足夠多的人做正確的事情,他的就職可能會。

  • END UP LOOKING A LOT LIKE THE LAST ONE.

    最後看起來很像上一個。

  • NOW, NORMALLY, INAUGURATIONS ARE FUNDRAISING CASH COWS.

    現在,正常情況下,就職典禮都是募捐現金牛。

  • SUPPORTERS ARE WILLING TO SHELL OUT BIG BUCKS FOR A PICTURE WITH

    支持者願意掏出大筆錢來買一張照片。

  • THE NEW PRESIDENT.

    新主席:

  • BUT THIS YEAR, THAT CAN'T HAPPEN.

    但今年,這不可能發生。

  • SO, INSTEAD, TOP CONTRIBUTORS WILL GET "VIRTUAL SIGNED PHOTOS"

    所以,除此之外,頂級貢獻者將獲得 "虛擬簽名照片"

  • WITH THE PRESIDENT-ELECT AND THE FIRST LADY.

    與候任主席和第一夫人的談話。

  • OKAY.

    好的。

  • BUT THEY DO REALIZE THAT ANYONE WITH A COMPUTER CAN GET A

    但他們確實意識到,任何人都可以用電腦得到一個。

  • VIRTUAL SIGNED PHOTO OF THEMSELVES WITH THE PRESIDENT.

    他們與總統的虛擬簽名照。

  • ANY PRESIDENT.

    任何主席。

  • CHECK OUT THIS PHOTO OF ME WITH MARTIN VAN BUREN.

    看看這張我和MARTIN VAN BUREN的照片。

  • AND DID HE SIGN IT?

    他簽了嗎?

  • YOU BET.

    你打賭。

  • "STEPHEN, LOVED YOUR INTERVIEW WITH CHANCE THE RAPPER.

    "史蒂芬,我很喜歡你對強姦犯錢斯的採訪。

  • YOU CAN'T FAKE CHEMISTRY.

    你不能偽造化學。

  • COWABUNGA, M.V.B."

    COWABUNGA, M.V.B."

  • MEANWHILE, THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION IS SWAMPED WITH A

    與此同時,目前的行政當局正處在一個 "大 "字當頭的環境中。

  • MAD SCRAMBLE FOR PARDONS.

    瘋狂的爭奪赦免。

  • ACCORDING TO ONE INSIDER, "IT'S TURNED CRAZY."

    據一位業內人士說,"它已經變得瘋狂了。"

  • "TURNED" CRAZY?

    "變 "瘋了?

  • THIS IS THE PRESIDENT WHO ADVISED PEOPLE TO INJECT BLEACH,

    這是總統誰建議人們注入漂白。

  • SAID THAT A DEAD VENEZUELAN LEADER STOLE THE ELECTION,

    說一個死去的委內瑞拉領導人偷走了選舉。

  • WANTED TO TRADE PUERTO RICO FOR GREENLAND, AND STOP A HURRICANE

    想把波多黎各島換成綠地,並阻止颶風。

  • WITH A NUCLEAR BOMB.

    用核彈。

  • WE'VE MADE THE TURN TO CRAZYTOWN A LONG TIME AGO.

    我們很久以前就去了瘋人院了

  • NOW WE'RE JUST DOING DONUTS IN CUCKOO CANYON.

    現在我們只是做甜甜圈 在CUCKOO峽谷。

  • THE ADMINISTRATION HAS LARGELY IGNORED ANY ESTABLISHED PROCESS,

    行政當局對任何既定的程序置之不理。

  • SO PEOPLE ARE CALLING THE WHITE HOUSE DIRECTLY.

    所以人們直接打電話給白宮。

  • IN FACT, SO MANY PEOPLE ARE ASKING FOR PARDONS OR

    事實上,很多人都在要求赦免或......。

  • COMMUTATIONS THAT A SPREADSHEET HAS BEEN CREATED TO KEEP TRACK

    編制了電子表格來記錄的換算。

  • OF THE REQUESTS.

    的要求。

  • YES, THEY'RE COMPILING THEM ALL IN MICROSOFT EX-CELL.

    是的,他們把它們都編入了微軟的EX -CELL。

  • IF THEY DO MANAGE TO PRY THE CURRENT PRESIDENT FROM THE WHITE

    如果他們成功地把現任主席從白宮裡搶走了。

  • HOUSE, HE MAY NEED TO FIND A DIFFERENT PLACE TO LIVE, BECAUSE

    房子,他可能需要找到一個不同的地方住,因為。

  • PALM BEACH RESIDENTS SURROUNDING MAR-A-LAGO RECENTLY SENT THE

    MAR-A-LAGO周邊的棕櫚灘居民最近收到了來自MAR-A-LAGO的郵件。

  • TOWN A LETTER WITH A MESSAGE FOR THE OUTGOING COMMANDER IN CHIEF:

    鎮信,並給即將離任的總司令留言。

  • WE DON'T WANT YOU TO BE OUR NEIGHBOR.

    我們不希望你成為我們的鄰居。

  • IT'S ALL IN THE NEW DOCUMENTARY, "WON'T YOU SUCK IT, NEIGHBOR?"

    這一切都在新的紀錄片,"你會不會吸,鄰居?"

  • THE LOCALS DON'T LIKE THE NOISE AND TRAFFIC WHEN THE PRESIDENT

    當地人不喜歡總統講話時的噪音和交通。

  • IS AT MAR-A-LAGO, BUT EVEN BEFORE HE WAS IN OFFICE, HE

    是在MAR-A-LAGO,但即使在他上任之前,他

  • CREATED ILL WILL IN THE TOWN BY REFUSING TO COMPLY WITH EVEN

    拒絕遵守哪怕是一個字的規定,從而在城市中製造了不良的意願。

  • BASIC LOCAL REQUIREMENTS, SUCH AS ADHERING TO HEIGHT LIMITS FOR

    基本的地方要求,如遵守高度限制的要求。

  • A MASSIVE FLAGPOLE HE INSTALLED.

    他安裝了一個巨大的旗杆。

  • NOT TO MENTION THE VIOLATING THE HOMEOWNER ASSOCIATION'S RULES ON

    不要提到違反業主協會的規則,對

  • FENCE HEIGHT.

    柵欄高度:

  • NOW, LET'S GET TO THE REASON I CAME DOWN HERE-- MY INTERVIEW

    現在,讓我們來談談我來這裡的原因--我的採訪

  • WITH THE FUTURE FIRST COUPLE, STARTING WITH THE

    與未來的第一對夫婦一起,從《世界人權宣言》開始。

  • PRESIDENT-ELECT.

    當選主席:

  • STEPHEN?

    斯蒂芬?

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

>> Stephen:嘿,大家好!

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B1 中級 中文 TheLateShow 照片 採訪 要求 美國人 劑量

斯蒂芬在特拉華州開店採訪比登斯,而總統則著眼於搬到佛羅里達州。 (Stephen Sets Up Shop In Delaware To Interview The Bidens, While The President Eyes A Move To FL)

  • 5 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 12 月 18 日
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